12 Year Old Babysitting a 1 Year Old ???

Updated on February 12, 2013
D.C. asks from Plano, TX
30 answers

So my oldest is 12 and very responsible...he knows what to do in an emergency and I've tested him (he was unaware of it) on several occasions....

I am trying to go back to the gym and pretty much don't have time other than at night when the kids are asleep....

So I was wondering....can I leave the 12 year old babysitting the baby ???

It would be from 8 to 10 pm three times a week....the baby would be asleep already.....

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Their dad is a police officer and says that the laws allow it...until something happens, then they hold you accountable....

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

If you think he's responsible and can handle it, I don't see why not. I was babysitting kids that young.

3 moms found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

This is what would keep going through my head. If something happened in his care, not only would YOU have to live with it, your 12 year old would have to live with it. Could you live with that, too?

What does your gut say. What does it REALLY say. Be totally honest with yourself. If you have even a moment of nervousness or doubt over it, do not do it.

I wouldn't, no. I would hire a sitter for 6 hours a week. Does your gym have a childcare center?

ETA: I should add, I think making your 12 year old have to be in charge of the baby 3 days a week indefinitely...is pretty unfair. It's your job to raise and keep the child. Not your child's job, to be a part time mini parent.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Why are people assuming the 12 year old would be asleep at 10?
And my goodness if a 12 year old isn't mature enough to to be trusted alone for a few hours with a baby what is the world coming to?
My kids started babysitting at 11/12, no troubles whatsoever.
Hell, I taught my kids their address, phone number and how to call 911 pretty much from the time they could walk and talk!

6 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I started babysitting when I was 12, and that was for kids I didn't really know. Your 12 year old has probably had lots of experience caring for his younger sibling already with you home. I would have the twelve year old take the babysitting course and first aid.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

If your son has experience caring for the baby, and you have a neighbor that he can contact who can be there in a flash, I see no problem with this. The baby would be asleep, and your kid can watch a movie. Practice before you start it for real. Have a night where you pretend you're at the gym, maybe stay in your room and read a book, and let your son deal with the baby if the baby wakes. He can pretend you're the "neighbor" if he can't get the baby to settle.

4 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

I just wouldn't do it.

Do you have a neighbor who would be willing to come over and watch TV while your kids are asleep? Maybe you could do something for her on a usual basis - scratch each other's back, so to speak.

If something happened, not only would you never forgive yourself, but your husband's career could be very adversely affected. They hold law officers to a higher standard as well as their spouses.

Not the answer you wanted to hear, but I hope it's helpful.

Dawn

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have an almost 11 year-old daughter who I would already trust doing this. By 12, I'd have no doubt. You know your child best. If you are comfortable, and he is, too, then you have your answer.

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

At 12 and he is mature enough plus he's ok with it ? I say ok. My daughter was babysitting and got paid by 13.

As long as you are all in mutual agreement I see no issue.

As for your husband..... a Police Officer... THANK him for Me as a citizen of the Plano/Allen area!!!

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

The 12 yr old should be awake in order to watch the baby.
It sounds like you are going to leave them both alone at home while they are sleeping.
It's been proven that kids (teens too) can sleep very deeply - so deeply that they often do not hear smoke alarms go off - they roll over and go back to sleep.
Baby sitting requires the sitter to be awake and conscious so they can respond to and handle the emergencies if they come up.
On a school night, what time does he have to be sleeping so he's rested for school?
You can't hire a sitter to watch the baby while your son is in school?
Or maybe a neighbor could come over while you are out?
Sure, big brother can baby sit sometimes but he's not the one who had a baby - his younger sibling should not be his responsibility on a regular basis.
I'd figure out another gym schedule.
This is part of having kids - their needs come before yours.

3 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

First, I would never insist one of my children babysit the other on a regular basis like you are describing. Then again, I also don't ask my oldest to change diapers, feed, bathe, etc...the most I'll ask her to do is play with her younger sister while I fix dinner or something like that. That's just me, though.

You know how responsible your son is, but I would never do it regardless. I would never be able to relax, and a workout should relieve stress, not create it. If it were me, I would exercise at home.

I did babysit at that age, with no problems, but in turn, I've discovered I am not comfortable with children babysitting my own.

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

If he is ok with him, I would not have a problem. Baby will be asleep. He will probably like the responsibility and he knows the baby's likes and dislikes if he wakes. Just to put my mind at ease, just let a neighbor k ow you are doing this. I was babysitting during the day at 11 years old. Sure they will be fine.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, things have really changed. Years ago young kids would walk home from school and watch themselves for a few hours until their parents got home from work. Latchkey Kids. Now no one would think of doing that!

I think your 12-year old would probably be okay watching himself for a few hours, we have an 11-year old and every once in a while we leave her at home alone while we run 1 block to the grocery store. However, I think that 1-year olds are tricky even for adults. A 1-year old is young enough to be a baby and need Mom or Dad around but old enough to get into trouble! I think that would be asking a lot of even an adult.

If I were you, I'd invest in some at-home workouts. There are some wonderful work-out programs you can do in your living room. That way you could work out when the kids are asleep but not have to worry about anyone watching them. My husband is a personal trainer and he trains people in their homes. They get in wonderful shape without ever setting foot in a gym.

3 moms found this helpful

V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a younger cousin who is going to turn 12 this year. My son will be turning 3 about a month after she turns 12.

She frequently babysits him with my grandparents (Who are 90 & 84, so really she does everything they are just there to have "adult supervision") and everything goes great.

I feel that my cousin is totally capable of watching my son without my grandparent's there. However, where she would be watching him is way out in the country where nothing ever happens (No break-ins or other criminal activity) and she knows not to use the stove or try to give him a bath or do anything that could result in an emergency situation.

Would I let her watch him here in my apartment in the middle of a fairly big town where we unfortunately have some crazy neighbors? No way.

3 moms found this helpful

~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

I was watching young infants starting at age 11, however I was very mature and responsible for my age and had practice taking care of my then 2 year old sister.

I know you said the baby will be asleep, but if the baby wakes up, will your son be able to reach into the crib and take the baby out? Is he able to get the baby back in the crib? As an adult, I had a hard time laying my son in the crib because the mattress was so low. If he's able to go that and you think he is ready, then I'd start out slow, with a half hour here and there. If everything goes smoothly, then go for it.

3 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I babysat other people's kids all the time at 12. We're talking they came and picked me up, took me to their house, left me with their kids for hours, paid me, and took me home. Some had a few kids. Including toddlers. It was the early 80's on an Air Force Base and totally common for babysitters to be that age. Also, many of my cousins have numerous kids and start leaving older kids in charge at home around 9 or 10.

***The only issue is if god forbid you were in wreck, so someone needs to know he's there alone in charge and all.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I was 12 babysitting a 3month old.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

99% of the time it will be fine.
my mother died when i was 10, and i had 3 little brothers, one an infant. until we got situated with a nanny i did a LOT of babysitting. it just had to be done.
the worry is that emergencies do happen. how do you test your 12 year old in case of a fire, or the baby choking? i mean, an adult might not react correctly under those circumstances either.
i dunno.
i might do it for short bursts, like 15 minutes to run to the store. but 2 hours 3 times a week might be a bit much.
of course, every kid and every situation is different. we all have to gauge how much risk we're comfortable with.
khairete
S.

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T.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My aunt and parents left me home alone to babysit my six-week-old cousin while they all went to a concert when I was 12 years old. I'll admit, as a parent, the idea of doing something like that makes me a little nervous. But I have to remind myself that I regularly babysat infants when I wasn't much older. If you trust your son, I think it should be fine.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My older kids would babysit my younger ones since the baby was only 6 months. My rule was that he had to be able to sit and hold his head up before I felt I could be comfortable with it. I don't think 2 hours is too long. How far away would you be? My older kids were 12 when he was born. They do very well with him. I would maybe give it a trial run to make sure he would be okay on his own--without you a few steps away. But I don't see a problem.

BTW, I started babysitting when I was 11. My nephew was not even 1 at the time. My parents were 4 blocks away if needed. By the time I was 13, I kind of had my own business--watching for 4 different families outside of my own family for a few hours in the evening.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Of course. I babysat infants at 12.

You know your son the best.. With cell phones he could also call you if anything happens.. Or you could ask a neighbor if he could call them in case of an emergency.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

This is somewhat of a loaded question because it's my opinion that the average 12 year old cannot care for a 1-year old; but the question is can your 12 year old handle the job. Based on your description he can.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

no way.

the younger the child you have the older babysitter you need.

when mine were babies.. I only trusted adult women that had raised kids.

I didnt leave them with teenagers till I was confident they wouldnt eat poison or jump off furniture..

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just don't know!?!? Only you know your children.

If it were me and mine, I *might* say yes...but l just don't know? It's kind of scary to think of them being all alone...even though they would be asleep!

It does help that the baby would be sleeping but do you have a big dog? Or what are you doing to ensure their safety while you are gone? Do you have a house alarm or anything like that?

In the very least you should call your local police station and find out what the laws are in your area regarding leaving kids home alone...you don't want to be breaking the law in the event there was (heaven forbid) an emergency!

Most gyms have daycare these days...are you sure you have exhausted all other options and times?

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

It may seem counter-intuitive, but for me, personally, I would be more comfortable with it if they were both awake and it was daytime. For a few reasons:
1) My kids are in bed by 10 pm (both my 11 yr old AND my 14 yr old), which means the 12 yr old would be putting himself to bed alone at night 3 x per week. And I would not want that for my child.
2) Many kids are uncomfortable after dark, being alone. During daylight they are fine. No creepy noises or anything like that. But after dark, their perceptions and paranoia level change. With someone else in the house awake, it isn't nearly so noticeable.
3) If you have a child that is curious about snooping in the house, etc., that is less likely to go on if there is someone else there, awake, that will know what they are doing.
4) If you really get into a workout, you could be longer. I have a tendency to plan on spending 75 minutes, and then the next thing I know, I have spent an hour and a half, or an hour and 45 minutes.

But, that is just me and my opinion. How far away is the gym? Will you have your phone on your person or where you can hear it if your son should call you?

1 mom found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I was a paid babysitter for infants AND their older siblings by the age of 11. Yes. It is fine. For added measure have him take a safe sitters course. It is CPR/First Aid for infants and other things mixed in (like how to pack a fun bag, what to ask parents and how to comfort children/infants as well as what are the signs to call mom and dad or 911 for help).
Totally fine:)

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

My opinion that it too much for the 12 year old to handle. Even a responsible one. It is getting late in the evening and if the baby wakes up the 12 year old will be tired and may lack patience needed with the baby. In my opinion you are pushing it.

How far away is the gym? Why 2 hours...can't you do some/most of your workout at home? Then if the gym is close go for 1 hour (8-9), take your cell phone and tell the 12 old if the baby wakes...call you ASAP and you bee line it home (but only if the gym is close by).

good luck I know that it is hard to carve out time for yourself when raising kids.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I'd say, if you think the 12 yr old is very responsible he'd be great when the baby is asleep. You cant guarantee the baby wont wake up, is he used to carrying, holding, changing a baby?? Also is there someone very close by in case of emergency? Could be a neighbor with their own little ones to worry about, just someone who is usually home and could run over in a big emergency or could give him advice if you cant pick up your cell.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I was being paid to babysit neighbor's kids at 12, including newborns. If he is responsible, I'd try it during the daytime for 1/2 hr or so at first just to see how it goes. I really think that it would be just fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.V.

answers from Springfield on

I babysat for little kids at age 12. If I had questions I called my mom.

That said, nowadays I think, wait, what? I babysat at age 12? I bet I'll feel differently when my kids reach 12.

You know your child best. I would do what you think is right for your family.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If the Red Cross teaches 12 year olds how to be babysitters then I would think that that is the legal age everywhere. So I'd let him try it. A 1 year old is pretty tame most of the time. If they're doing something wrong you simply pick them up and distract them. Or you can put them in their high chair where they're safe until they settle down.

I also think that you could find a babysitter during the day if you really tried.

If you work then perhaps you can go to a noon class those days of the week. Your body gets pretty revved up during exercise. I've always heard that it pushes the calorie burning up over double for almost 10 hours afterwards.

I did work and went to an aerobics class during the noon hour 3 times per week for 2 years. I just used wipes when I was changing so the sweaty areas would be fresher...lol.

Here's a list of the local child care programs. About half of them are Mother's Day Out Programs. They are programs that are not full time child care centers. They take kids 1 day per week up to 5 days per week but it's for part time hours. You sign your child up for the hours you want.

I took the kids to MDO just so "I" could clean house, go to the doc, go shopping without hands grabbing every item they could reach, and so I could have a little bit of time to take a nap or just read a book.

The kids went 1, 2, or 3 days per week, they were open on M, W, and F, from 10am-3pm. The other MDO program in town did the opposite days and shorter times too. They did T and Th from 9am to noon.

The ones that are MDO programs start as young as 6 weeks or 18 months.

http://www.aroundtownkidsplano.com/planomothersdayout.htm

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