13 Year Old and Makeup?

she's a teenager. i too would put my foot down at full slut warpaint (too many young 'uns overdo it) but i'd start allowing a little experimentation with a selected number of products. she probably should not gunk up her pores with concealer and foundation, but starting to learn to work with liner and shadow and a touch of blush wouldn't be the end of the world.
also, a full-blown 'no under any circumstances' is just asking for a full-blown rebellion, and clown makeup being applied in school bathrooms.
be her mentor as she starts to step into adulthood.
khairete
S.

Your daughter sounds pretty typical for a 13 year old. How she turns out has less to do with what she puts on her face and more to do with what you put in her head.

I don't really care about makeup (or hair.) At this age they like to experiment (usually with too much) and by the time they are in high school they are horrified at how they looked in junior high/middle school anyway.
My daughters (now 18 and almost 15) have both said to me, I can't believe how awful that looked! And I'm like, I know right? You guys were silly, but that's what you thought looked good.
I like letting them learn for themselves, it usually works far better than their "old" mom lecturing them about what looks nice and tasteful :-)

Teach her how to wear make up tastefully and buy her good quality products. For my step-daughter's 13th birthday, I had a Mary Kay lady come to the house and give her and some of her girlfriends a skin care and make up class. She learned how to apply makeup correctly and what colors were best suited for her coloring and I bought her all of the skin care products and make up that she needed. A couple of times a year, she and her best friend go to Sephora and get new eye shadow or whatever. She's 16 now and honestly this solved all of our make up problems. When she was 12 and living with her mother, she was all about cheap, heavy, tacky makeup (like her mom wears) and it was a bit of a battle because every time we picked her up for the weekend, her first task was to march into the bathroom and remove 90% of what she had painted on her face. Once she saw how beautiful she looks with the right make up applied correctly, there was no going back. She doesn't need make up (she seriously looks like Taylor Swift) but it's something that she really likes and spends time on. For this past Christmas, we got her a vanity for her room and I stocked it with good quality brushes and other accessories as well as replenished some make up that she was low on. It's not a gift that I would choose for myself - I don't wear make up daily - but it's her thing and she loved it.

The cussing under her breath and being disrespectful are whole other issues that you of course must deal with. But I would let her know that if she's willing to act maturely and respectfully, you will allow her to wear good quality make up applied correctly and then make a day of buying it and having someone give her an age-appropriate make over.

She is 13 and right now you need to be communicating with her as best you can because you are at a critical stage for the mom/daughter relationship for a couple of years.

Most 13 yr olds do experiment with makeup. If I were you, I would make a mom/daughter date and take her to a make up counter at Sephora, Clinique, etc and have someone show her how to properly apply makeup.

When you forbid her to wear makeup, etc and end up in yelling matches with each other, she will go behind your back to do what she wants to do.

Be a little more open minded and use this as a learning experience for both of you. Set some guidelines for use of makeup and stick by them.

Work with her and talk with her not AT her.

In Portland 13yos wear make up in a restrained way. I suggest you help her learn how to wear makeup in a way that looks natural. Instead of saying no find a way to compromise.

My granddaughter is 13. She started experimenting with it a couple years ago with her mother's help. She wears eye makeup and lipstick. It's no big deal and so she doesn't wear it all the time.

I suggest you are in a power struggle with your daughter. You can stop the struggle by talking with her. Do more listening than talking. Find a way to give her some say in this.

You can start by letting her experiment with Mandie. When she comes home either make no comment or find a positive way of counting. Then begin listening to her and work out a compromise.

Experiencing with makeup now is normal. She has started on the road of separating from you. She will experiment with many things better to save your fight for the big things such as sex and drugs. By letting her use makeup while involving her in the decision of how and how much will begin the dialolague so sorely needed as she grows up. This is your opportunity to strengthen your relationship with her.

Please know that wearing make up within reason has will not have any negative effect on how she is as an adult older teen. Fighting with her will. When you give an absolute no you are pushing her away and cause her fight even harder for what she wants. She is no longer a child. She's a teen and needs you to help her learn ways of relating in a different way than when she was a child.

At 13 I was experimenting with make-up. I could put on as much as I wanted, in any range of color while I was "at home". Sleep overs were good too, but I was not allowed to wear it out. At 15, I was allowed to wear it out upon approval from both parents. By then I had 2 year of practice and helpful tips from my mother and older sister under my belt that "approval" was merely a formality.

Stop saying "no", try saying "yes, but under these conditions.". Set up some guide lines, go shopping with her, have make-up days for the two of you. She does you, you do her. Get her a few "wild" colors and let her have fun. Some salons will do make-up, some big store make-up counters will to. Make a date, just the two of you and get yourselves done up.

Good luck!

I think you have drawn a line in the sand needlessly. And she is doing what teens do... testing that line. Mandie is a perfect way to push you. She's succeeding! :)

As for the makeup, yes, a ton of 13 yr olds do wear it. Most wear too much and don't apply it in an appropriate manner for a mature young woman. Most wear it like a 13 yr old who is trying to look mature. ;)

My daughter is 12, in 7th grade. I took her last year to the cosmetics counter (Clinique) and let them apply what would look nice with her skin and coloring. I told them I didn't want her to look "made up", but, like I had told my daughter, to bring out her own natural beauty. I don't wear my own makeup like "war paint" and never have. And for years and years I have made my preferences about such things known in subtle ways. We have a niece in our family who is very "artsy" and does hair for a living (she's older). She has several (very large) tattoos, and wears extremely bold makeup. It's not my daughter's style. And we have discussed her cousin and "her" style.

My daughter wore some of the makeup we purchased for a few weeks, but mostly reverted back to lip balm only. It is just too much work and hassle for her most days I think, and she is confident in herself and doesn't "need" it. She is stunning when she wears it (to my 'Mom' eyes at least) and does indeed look older than her 12 years. But she still wears it tastefully even then.

Powder foundation, neutral/natural eye shades, soft lip color. She applies mascara better than I do. LOL---when she wears it... which is about as often as I do--maybe 3 times a year.

There are other older cousins in our family (late teens, not adults like the hairstylist) who wear full makeup everywhere. But they also wear a more toned down style that looks mostly natural, except there is no mistaking the lashes,LOL.

Lead by example, and take her to a place you trust to TEACH her how to wear it. Then buy her what you are comfortable with (color scheme wise) and let her play around. She's not too young.

When I was young most girls were wearing makeup in 7th grade. Help her find colors that look good and natural on her and teach her how to apply them well. If you need help take her somewhere like Sophora, they will help her find the right colors that match with her tone to give her a natural look. You can make it a special day out with you and her, mother daughter time.

Suggest you both go have a facial with either a Mary Kay consultant or a professional person at the makeup counter such as Estee Lauder or at an upscale store. This way she can see how make up is supposed to be applied. When you make the appointment visit with the makeup person and ask them their thoughts on makeup for young teens and how it effects the skin overall in the future. Let her know you're not wanting your girl to smear on the pancake makeup or even wear an overabundance of it. Let her know you'd appreciate her saying that it can give your daughter breakouts and pimples and perhaps even acne. Let a "professional" tell your daughter that makeup can ruin her skin and make her look less than she should.

In Jr. High my bff would sneak her sister's clothes out and we'd change at school, low low low hip huggers and tight body shirts. Then we'd put on their makeup too. She was one of 12 kids and there was always makeup and stuff sitting around. We'd just go change when school was out. The sisters went to another school so they didn't see us in their clothes.

If your daughter wants to wear makeup chances are she's doing it no matter what you say. Getting information that counters what her friend is saying might put a stop to it and influence her more than a mom that's not "cool" and a bff that has way too much freedom or a mom that likes having a child looking like a little adult.

Applying make-up is a skill the same as typing well. It takes practice to learn how to apply it correctly and to learn what colors look best with her coloring. She is at the age when most girls want to wear make-up and and lot of it comes from peer pressure. She is at the age where is no longer a little girl but not a young woman either. It's her time to experiment with who she is.
At this age our daughters change a lot. Suddenly, they want to appear more grown-up. My daughter, now 27, about drove me jutty when she was in this stage. Not only did she want a new hairdo but make-up and cute bra and panty sets-----UGH!!!!!! Turns out a lot of it was because of peer pressure. Tween girls have big mouths and the last thing you need is to have your daughter bullied because she is not allowed make-up and wears granny panties. Yes, it happens a lot.

My kids started playing with make up as toddlers. Admittedly they were pretending to be tigers with brown and black diagonal stripes on their faces, or cats with black noses and whiskers drawn on their cheeks, but playing is what it is all about. They progressed from tiger stripes to bright eyeshadow colors and fuchsia nail polish with their princess dresses at Kindergarten age. Many birthdays between then and now they received sparkling lip balms and bright nail colors. For Christmas one year I bought them both the huge $5 eye shadow pallette with something like 30 colors.
Instead of making it a stand off, ask her what she likes about how Mandy looks, and open a dialogue with her about what image she wants to convey. Looks for some "do" and "don't" pictures in magazines or online and laugh about what looks silly and smile about what looks nice. Let her do her makeup the way she thinks looks nice and take pictures. Then do her make-up in what you think is a tasteful way and compare the pictures. Explain that when someone sees her you want them see her beauty not the fact that she wearing make-up. I think it you share this with her and let her wear it on weekends for a while to test her application skills and people's reactions to her make up that over time she will find it is too much of a hassle to put make-up on every day.

http://www.paulaschoice.com/expert-advice/makeup-tips/_/t...

I taught my girls how to apply makeup modestly when they showed an interest in it (in our case, 11yrs old). They wear makeup most days at this point (they are 13 and 11). A bit of mascara, lip gloss, cover-up if needed for everyday. If there's a party or special occasion, they'll use some blush and eyeshadow or eye-liner as well. They always look appropriate (yes, even the 11yr old). And it's never been a battle. I decided early on that makeup, shaving, hair styles/cuts, basically any grooming issue was NOT going to be a battleground for me. I told them early on to come to me with any questions and I'd show them the proper way to do things. So far it's worked out just fine.

They have pierced ears, if they wanted a second or third hole in their ears, that would be fine. They have long, gorgeous hair. If they wanted to dye it purple, I'd have no problem with that. If they wanted to chop their hair off, sure, as long as they understood it would take a long time to grow back. I wouldn't be happy about it all, but I wouldn't forbid them either. I did all of that and more as a kid, I turned out just fine (for the most part!). Just as I would never judge them on their physical appearance, I'd hope they wouldn't judge others on that either.

I, too, think my girls are fine without make-up. They're beautiful just being natural. I'm just not going to fight them about it. There are too many other important battle lines to draw as they enter their teenage years. Make-up and hair will NOT be the hill I die on.

That stuff gets expensive.
Where does she expect to get the money to pay for it?
Also all that stuff on the face tends to make the skin break out even more than it already does.
If she's sharing makeup with someone else, it spreads bacteria around.
I see plenty of 13 yr olds wearing enough makeup to qualify for clown college.
Take her to a Mary Kay party so she learns some tasteful techniques.
Let her have a little - some lipstick, a little eye shadow.
Make sure she knows how to take it off, never sleep with it on.
And any childish behavior means she's too immature for makeup.
If/when she pitches a fit, the makeup goes away and you're not replacing it.
Then keep her busy in activities - sports, craft classes, skating lessons, learn to play an instrument, taekwondo, dancing, horseback riding, volunteer work, etc.
It will limit how much time she has to spend with this friend and she'll have a chance to make other friends.

Teach her how to apply makeup appropriately. Maybe even plan a girls' day just the two of you that includes makeup application lessons at a salon. I would just check ahead of time that the salon's idea of what is appropriate for your daughter matches what you think is appropriate. I'm guessing that if you let her wear some it will stop being a fight. I would also tell her that she needs to purchase the makeup. The cost of it might be a little bit of a deterrent as well.

My daughter is allowed to wear eye shadow and a tiny bit of mascara. I have taught my daughter how to apply make up so that she does not look like a clown. She looks very natural when she wears it. She also does a light color of lip gloss.
The issue here is not make up. It is the way she acts if she does not get her way, and her wearing all this make up after you have said no. She is disrespecting you as a parent, and that would qualify for a consequence in our house. I definitely would not run out and buy her make up if she is disrespecting you. I would talk to my daughter and tell her that once she can respect my decision as a parent maybe then we can talk about make up. If she continues to put it on behind your back then you need to come up with consequence for that and be consistent every time! I don't know what that would be, but for my daughter we would take away her phone or computer time.

In my house, eight grade was when you could wear lip gloss and maybe some blush. Worked well here.

Is she in jr high? That is the age when it was ok for me to wear makeup. Basically eye shadow, liner, mascara, and gloss. I never liked lipstick. Still dont. At that time I didnt like blush. no real need for foundation. Find out why she wants to wear it and what specifically she wants to wear. I feel really bad for the image young girls these days feel they need to live up to. A few years back when my dad saw a pic of kim kardashian he said she looked like glamour shots (remember them?) alllllllll done up. even shows on disney channel and nick have girls this age so dolled up. I look at some of them and think that their hair looks better than mine has EVER. Maybe not make up because I am really good at that. I would let her venture into the world of eye shadow and mascara. maybe a little blush. But gosh these kids are too young to be all victoria secret angels and stuff. teach her to enhance and have fun with looks instead of going for a "hot" look.