Hi all. My 13-month-old daughter is swiping all the food off of her highchair table when eating. I know it's normal but it's also not the nicest behavior and makes a HUGE mess. It's one thing when she does it at home, but it's especially not okay when we are out somewhere. I want to be consistent and teach her that it's important to have nice manners both at home and when we are out, keeping in mind that she is still SO young. Advice on how to deal with this behavior is much appreciated. I've tried ignoring it, reprimanding her, and just hand-feeding her (which I also don't want to do because she knows how to feed herself and I want to encourage the self-feeding). PLEASE HELP! Thank you thank you!!
Thanks, everyone, for all the input. We just TRIED to have breakfast, but even with 2 tiny pieces of strawberry in front of her, she swiped them away. So, I told her we don't eat like that and took her out of her highchair and figure she must not really be hungry (she's a good eater when she is!) and we're waiting to try again in a bit. It's always something! :) All of the advice is GREATLY appreciated!
I would make it a game. See if she can get her food into some kind of color on her highchair. Have a little placemat that is hers with circles or squares, etc. and tell her she needs to try to get her food into the objects.???
I never really dealt with that, as my kids couldn't get the food in fast enough:)
Believe it or not, most places get it!
I vote with the others. One piece at a time. If she doesn't eat it, she's not hungry any more.
Don't worry. She'll still learn to feed herself. When she throws or swipes, she's playing a game - and it's fun! And she gets a rise out of Mama, so that makes it even better. Stay cool. Once piece at a time - that's YOUR game. When she realizes the fun's over, she'll quit (and find something else to drive you crazy with).
She's not being deliberately disobedient - she's just being a baby. But she doesn't have to be a baby all over a restaurant, or at home in the high chair, either. Just remember that if she were REALLY hungry, the food would be going into her little mouth. You can always move up snack time a bit, if you're worried about her, but keep the one-piece rule until she's willing to eat what she's given instead of playing.
One bit of food at a time.
And, just like a baby who bites when nursing, take the food source away all together for a few minutes. Take her out of her high chair and tell her she's done.
She may be bored or just thinking she's playing.
Putting her down and telling her she's done is the best way to go about it.
You can try again in a few minutes but if she does it again, she's likely not that hungry.
She won't starve.
Kids are messy to be sure, but if she's doing it deliberately, it's a habit you can break fairly easily. You just have to follow through with her every time.
Work on it at home so that she knows what will happen when you are somewhere else.
Best wishes.
She's way to young to understand "manners," or why making a mess would not be a perfectly delightful thing. She can and will learn from your reactions that you dislike certain behaviors, but is a long way from knowing why they might be right or wrong. And some babies love to watch their parents' reactions to throwing and dropping – to a baby, that can be downright amusing.
She's entered the "throwing stage" in which she has a completely normal craving to experiment constantly with throwing, gravity, and the results she gets from testing those. She's going to be there for a few months, and it is actually an important developmental stage during which she's learning a great deal of eye-hand development and gross motor skills, cause and effect, and so much more.
So I have two suggestions. (Three actually, starting with don't expect her to behave like a big person in a restaurant, because she simply can't yet.)
One is that you don't give her more that small amounts of anything on her tray or on the table in front of her. If she's experimenting with spoons, give her only enough to mush around a bit, and be prepared to remove it before she gets too bored or frustrated and "removes" it herself. If she's picking up and eating solids, give her only a couple of pieces/bites at a time. More may simply overwhelm her.
Second, Give her many legitimate opportunities to throw, swing her arms, bat with a soft object. Give her soft, throwable toys and a target – a box or basket on the floor nearby. Show her how to throw to the target. If she tries it with food or bowls, be prepared to calmly remove them and redirect her to the toys. She will begin to distinguish soon between what's okay to throw, and what's not.
And one final thing – keep your sense of humor and take lots of pictures/videos of the mess she makes. You will enjoy those someday. This phase is really not so bad if you keep the right attitude and don't expect more of your baby than she's able to give. Then come the Terrible Two's…
normal. and take all food away when she does this. She is done eating.
I dealt with different behavior issues with my DD when it came to food at this age. I had to work with an occupational therapist to deal with some of the behaviors because they were so extreme. What I learned as it pertains to the issue you are dealing with is to first make sure you have a feeding schedule...breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. At this age, you can't expect a child to sit and behave themselves for much longer than 10 minutes. At meal times, set a timer for 10 minutes to let the child know they are expected to sit and behave in the high chair until the time goes off. If the child acts up during this time, remove all food from the high chair until the behavior stops. If the child can reach other food or begins to scream/tantrum, move the high chair away from the table, but leave the child in the high chair until the improves or the timer goes off. If the child does not eat, then the child must wait until the next meal time to eat. Once you've mastered 10 minutes in the high chair you can slowly add time to the timer until eventually you won't need the timer anymore. Personally, when I used this process with my DD as it pertains to the behavior you mention, the unacceptable behavior ceased within a day. The biggest thing is to realize that a toddler cannot be expected to sit in a high chair for a long time and typically restaurant time is an hour or more.
she is very young, so she needs allowances for that. at that young age i think it's okay to still help feed; one piece at a time like the other momma mentioned (great idea!); take it away & tell her she can have it back when she's ready to eat; damn idk what else. my son's 2.5 & still does it sometimes. mostly when he's done eating so i can see those signs coming. but i usually give him SMALL portions so there's a smaller mess & take his food away til he stops acting a fool. but then again, i also know, it's just gonna be messy sometimes. esp a younger baby b/c they may still be eating softy foods - yuck everywhere! sorry not better advice but i tried - lol! : )
Hi B., I know alot of moms ignore negative behavior, the problem with that is, if it's ignored they don't don't know it's bad behavior. I have an 11 month old in my daycare who will be one next month, he starts throwing food on the flloor when he starts getting full, so i take his food, for example for snack today he was in the high chair eating life cereal, he ate it all wanted more so i gave him some more he ate a few bites then on the floor it went, I just say no, and I gather up the food on the floor, cleam him up take him down, it's a long process with him my 16 month old in my daycare learned quicker. Be cosistant, i have tapped hands for throwing food on the floor, i have 5 daycare parents and the parents of the toddlers deal with it in that manner. It can't be any less OK at home than away from home because at 13 months she's not going get were in public I have to behave better, so you do the training at home, so you can take well mannered kids out to eat. Mamas are saying one piece at a time, during a meal you are trying to eat as well, I like to teach them differently. J.
I went through that with my little guy. The key is to not let your child snack too much that she isn't hungry at meal time. Give her small amounts of food at a time (even one piece of food if necessary), and sit down and eat with her.
When she does throw food, give her a firm "no", and take her food away for one minute. If she throws again, give her another firm "no, and put her on time out in a pack and play or playpen for one minute. Keep doing this until she stops throwing food.
It took my guy about 10 times in his pack and play before he stopped (he is VERY strong willed). Eventually she will get it. Just be persistent and consistent.
Set down one piece of food on her tray at a time. I know it is a pain, but your other option is to put a mat under her highchair and pick up after every meal.
