16Mth Old Scared of Water

Updated on May 08, 2008
B.B. asks from Saint Augustine, FL
11 answers

I have a 16mth old that is scared to death of the pool. If she sees you in a bathing suit she runs inside the house and hides. I have tried everything I can think of to get her over her fear but all she does is scream the whole time (she wont even put her feet in). My eldest daughter loves to swim. I can't take her in the pool with my youngest in the hosue by herself. I want to enjoy both of them in the water. How can I get her over her fear of the water? She seems way too young to be afraid of stuff already? She loves the bath tub. She did fall in the pool once when my husband was watching her and I can't help but think maybe that is when it all started. Last year she had no problem in the pool but she also was a lot younger. I need advice on how to work with her and get her over her fear. I wanted to sign her up for swim lessons but I don't think it will work out with the way she is now.

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P.E.

answers from Panama City on

Use the bath tub as a small pool. I taught my two to flip and float in the tub. Then get a backyard splash pool. And before the big pool get her a uscg approved life vest.

No blow up tubes or arm bands they do deflate

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S.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have a 14 month old baby girl who also loved the pool last summer. She used to love the bath tub too but 4 days ago she decided she hates the tub and tries to climb out. She no longer likes the water at the beach either. I havent even bothered with the pool yet because the screaming is out of control. She hasnt had any big scares or anything either she just doesnt want to be in the water anymore.

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M.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

When she fell in the pool she must have had a traumatic experience, if you try to push her to liking the pool before she's ready it might be worse. Just have patience, she's so young still, it will probably change later.

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T.S.

answers from Panama City on

Don't push her. She needs time away from the pool to adjust to her feelings. Don't ask her or expect her to even touch the water and let her decide if she goes anywhere near it. Don't even bring it up. Set up a play area away from the pool and over time, she will get more and more comfortable with the idea of getting close to the pool. Take walks by the pool (not directly next to it though) without going in it and without your bathing suits, just in plain clothes. Sit by the water, (at least 2-3 feet away) and watch the water and talk about how pretty it is and what it feels like. Take your time, and do this over the next year. Let her tell you (if she can) how she feels about it. What she likes and dislikes about it. Let her re-connect to it on her own. Do this about once a week.
It will take time. But let her take as much time as she needs and let it be her idea to finally touch the water again.
Baby steps, Baby steps, Baby steps. She is so young and if you force her, it will only take longer, but if you let her know that she doesn't have to ever go back in the pool if she chooses not to, she will be relieved of the pressures.
Be patient with her. You will be glad you were.

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P.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

Try putting your (and other family members) swimsuit on and getting in the bathtub. Gradually work up to doing this with her. Once that is going well ease your way to the pool.

Don't force her. Let her come to the decision she wants to take part. Even if that means she sits out of the pool in her clothes while you get in (keeping your eyes on her of course!).

She will probably outgrow this, especially with a little tender care. And, when she's ok with the pool again, try swim lessons.

Good Luck!

--P. M.

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C.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

B., not to fear she will in time get over it. Just be patient and spend as much time in the water as humanly possible. How about the bath? You said she loves the bath, so allow her to spend more time in the bath. Allow her to wear her swimsuit and call it swim time. My son who is now 15 years old was terrified of the water when he was small, but in time and with lots of encouragement doesn't ever remember the fear he once had. I feel swimming lessons are a plus and will be good for her. YOu again must be there at all times and reassure her that will be alright. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Goodluck

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E.L.

answers from Tallahassee on

Her fall into the pool and your reaction since may have to do with her negative feelings toward the water.

I am an instructor with Infant Swimming Resource (ISR). Once your child has the skills to be safe in the water, the enjoyment of it generally follows. You cannot start too early when it comes to water safety and drowning prevention, especially if you have a pool in your back yard. ISR's mission is simple: Not one more child drowns.

I teach children from 6-12 months how to rollback and float and wait for help; children 1-6 years learn to swim-float-swim. The float is truly a lifesaver--what if your husband had not been there when your daughter fell in? Teach your children to be safe in the water before teaching them to enjoy it. Arm them with the necessary skills to save themselves should the unthinkable happen (they get past parental supervision, pool gates, etc.). Please visit www.infantswim.com to see videos and learn more about the program; also feel free to contact me at ____@____.com if you want more info about my lessons. Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

Sounds just like my son--he's almost 3 now, but last year he wanted nothing to do with the pool. I tried a group class, but he was pretty much terrified and clung to me the whole time...and though he warmed up a little, he was pretty miserable.
but since we have a pool and and live on a lake, I put him in Safe Start classes when he was about 18 months old--he screamed every lesson, but learned to swim....
Anyways after that, we just let him approach it on it's own. We got him a kiddie pool and he would first start splashing and going in and out of that, once he got used to that, he would take one step into the big pool and over the summer worked his way down to the next too--he still doesn't like not being able to stand or being pushed too fast.
I kept taking him to spray parks and kiddie pools and sometimes it would just take a matter of 20 minutes to warm up to them and other times it took a few visits. I just think some kids are more cautious with water than others--and honestly I think that is OK.
This year he is already showing more interest in the pool and has already wanted to get in and get on the steps again, so I'm sure he'll progress even more this summer.
As far as swim lessons, I would only recommend Safe Start or ISR lessons with her age--which will teach her drowning prevention. She may hate it, but it's worth the end results whereas normal swim lessons at that age are more about having (safe) fun in the water--so I see no point in that if she is not going to enjoy it.

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T.A.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Hi B.
You must have a regular size in ground pool.
Well, what I would do is buy a wading pool from Walmart or Kmart and fill it 1/2 way. Oh, take your 16 mo do the store with you. Let her help pick out the wading pool and a few water toys and swimmies or flotation device. Then let her help you with the hose. Oh, don't put your swimsuit on yet. Stay in shorts. Her too. Anyway, let her turn on the hose, carry the hose to the new pool, let her open her toys and put them in the pool. let her get in on her own while you sit in a chair and watch her. Take pictures of her. Develop them immediately 1-hour photo and put them up on the fridge to show everyone what a big girl she is. The next day, wait until she asks to go swimming. Don't ask her. See if she brings up the idea. She will eventually gravitate to your pool. It may take a few weeks or month or so. You can buy a nice large raft and float on it in your pool and maybe she'll want to get on it with you eventually. Let me know how this goes.
T.

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J.J.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi B.,

My son (one-and-a-half at the time) also had a bad experience in the pool that left him scared about even getting in, even if I held him. One thing I was told that I am glad I followed was to not force my son, who is now 5, into the pool. He loves the beach, puddles, tub, etc. What I would do to get him acclimated to the pool was be at a distance he was comfortable with and point out/watch the swimmers having fun in the pool and talk out loud what was going on and how much fun it looked and if he wanted to try it. This took a couple weeks, then we got closer and sat on a chair close to the pool. When I saw that he was comfortable, I took him to Adventure Landing and toward the end of the day, he actually laid down in the shallow part and I even got him to put his face under the water, assuring him that I was there. Eventually we played the "who can keep their face under water wins" game. I finally asked him if he wanted to do it in the pool. He excitedly said yes! The next day, I brought him to the pool, but he only wanted to dangle his feet in. It took a couple more days before he got him to sit at the steps and then I put the "swimmer's jacket" on him. I kept him close to steps and wall (told him the wall was his friend) to give him a sense of control. This process took a long time, but now he loves the water and will be taking swimming lessons this summer. Hope this helps. :o) J.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think it is something they just go through at this stage, and then your's has the added "incident" to add to her fears. My son used to LOVE the pool & the ocean. I mean, we'd go in the pool every single weekend. Then all of a sudden, it seemed to change overnight. He was terrified of the pool, the ocean, etc. The bath was the only thing he was ok in. I would still try to take him in the pool, and I'd just let him cling to me, and I promised to not let go of him so that he'd trust me. When we went to the beach, I'd show him how I put my feet in the water so he could see it wouldn't hurt. When we went to the pool, I'd tell him to look at the other kids swimming...and when he was in the bath, I'd tell him to practice swimming (he'd lay on his belly & kick). If he didn't want to, then I'd let it go for a little bit & try again later. My parents also got him a kiddie pool at their house, and he'd splash around in there but never wanted to sit down, like his cousin would do. The fear lasted several months. Now, that he just turned 2, all of a sudden, he loves it again! We went to the beach last weekend, and I couldn't pull him away from the water!! So I really think it is just something they go through around the 18 mo age, as they are learning about themselves and learning to trust, etc...so good luck! You could always ask your pediatrician for some ideas too. I think if you try to remain laid back & non-chalant (sp?!) about it, she will eventually get over the fear. I'd definitely try the kiddie pool idea until she does, so that your other child doesn't have to miss out on the water fun.

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