2 1/2 Year Old Refuses to Sleep in His Own Bed

Wow, that must be very frustrating for you. I'm not seeing how gating him in and letting him cry would make anything better, though--seems like that would make his nighttime fears worse, and will certainly result in you getting less sleep. It sounds like he really needs you to help him get through these nightmares. How about taking him to a toy store and letting him pick out a "protector" toy? Also, you could try painting or putting a sticker of a superhero (his choice) above his bed, along with a nightlight, so that he could see it and feel protected from his fears when he wakes up. Does he sleep in the same room as his sibling? (My family co-sleeps, so my first instinct is to say well, let him get in bed with you at 2:30 and spend the rest of the night there! You'll all sleep, and since I see you work, you'll get some extra cuddle time too! Or you could make a little bed for him on the floor of your room, and tell him he can come in and lay down without waking you up.)

My daughter used to do the same thing. By age 3 she was finally sleeping all night but your son is probably just used to waking up and can't put himself back to sleep. I wouldn't let him in your bed at all. I would put him back to bed, tell him you'll rub his back for 1 minute but then he has to stay put. It will take awhile but he'll finally sleep through the night.

I wish I had some helpful advice, but I am actually in exactly the same predicament! My 2 1/2 year old son has been sleeping with us for a while. We moved to a new house and had a new baby last summer so I thought that might have been alot of change all at once so we allow it, but we want to get him back into his own room. I am hoping someone posts some good advice for you. Good luck!

i hate to say it but, let him cry it out. It'll drive you crazy the frist couple of nights but his crying will lesson as you stick to your guns. You'll think you're being mean but your not. have a cup of tea and a good book.you'll lose a few nights sleep.check every once in a while, but make sure he stays in his own bed, and everything is ok. It is very hard,but it does work. The big thing is stick to it. Good luck. been there.

Hi, K., this is S. T who is married and has 3 boys, a 3yr old, a 2yr old and 4 month old. I was having similar problem with my 3yr old when he was 2 and 2 1/2 yrs old. It is hard when you want to comfort them when they are crying but there are things to think through. First of all, if your son is having nightmares, check into why and ask him what is making him cry and talk with him. At his age, he shouldn't be having nightmares. Is there a show, or a movie he's watching that could be causing nightmares, or is he at a daycare or in someone else's care another kid bothering him or what is it? Get to the bottom of it. If he's not having nightmares, but want to crawl into your bed, tell him before he goes to bed that he is big boy who needs to go to his own big boys' bed. We pray before the boys go to bed, sometimes my husband or I tuck them in, tell them we love them with a kiss. I told him that he needs to stay in bed and he cannot be crawling in bed with Mommy and Daddy. When he does come in, I tell him I love him and give him a kiss and bring him back to his bed and it took a long time doing that over and over. Before you know it all I had to say was give Mommy a kiss and I love you and go back to bed and he did on his own. DO NOT GIVE IN. Kids are smart and know that you will eventually give in. It took a while and then my 2 yr old starting doing it and stopped shortly after dealing with him the same way. You haveto be loving, but firm. Kids need firmness and they want that firmness, but mix it with love.

Why not co-sleep or put his bed in your room?

I don't know if it will help, but my son had the same problem - he would wake up at least once a night, crying, so I would lay down with him and he would fall back asleep within a couple of minutes (or I would bring him back to our bed). He used to be a great sleeper...I figured he had nightmares or was feeling insecure - well, anyway, we changed our diet a couple of months ago - we removed almost all refined sugar and flour and anything artificial. Besides feeling better, (and my husband and I losing weight), almost immediately I stopped having awful dreams at night and our son began sleeping through the night again. Again, I don't know if it's scientific, but it worked for us!

Your little guy has a routine going. He knows that after the second attempt to sleep in your bed, you will give in. You have taught him that and it will not be easy to "unteach" him but you will have to if you ever want to break this habit. You must put him back into his bed with as little talk as possible and keep reinforcing it until he understands that you mean business.

At 2 1/2 they have night terrors and the poor kids think they are so real. My daughter went through the same thing for a while. It will subside. In the mean time, a FEW hours before going to sleep, do NOT let him see any TV at all. Even though what you think is ok and not scarey, those little minds are active. Also, the last things he should hear before going to sleep is a story by you or your husband. Ok, now here's the tough part. If you keep allowing himj to get in bed, he will keep crying until you let him in, so you are going to have a few rough nights when it is going to seem endless, but YOU are the parent. What worked for me going through this, was... a would say to my hubby, I am going to bed (7pm) you put the kids to bed and take care of the dogs and I will take care of Kyla (our daughter) tonight. I did this for two nights and he did it for 2, and then it was back to normal. NOw, if she wakes up with night mares (she's 5) and gets into bed with us, it is not a habit and she doesn't need it the night after. I hope this helps... if it is any comfort, in just one week you will be sleeping the night away.

I would suggest you tell very firmly at bedtime "Stay in bed, mommy loves you, now stay in bed". Repeat it a couple of times. My father-in-law suggested this to me and I couldn't believe how this simple phrase helped. Then I would say that if he calls for you, you should go into his bed and lay with him if you have to vs. having him come into your bed. try to break that habit first. Then by him learning to stay in his bed and you going to him to comfort him, you are more in control and can with time wean hime from needing you so much. Maybe lay down in his bed with his favorite teddy and then graduate to just handing him his teddy when he needs comfort. Good Luck!

Does he wake up if you just let him come into your room? You see it as giving in. I saw it with all three of my boys so far as they start out in their room - good - and they end up in my room where we can cuddle a bit and all get some extra sleep - good. Personally I'd let him come in the second time and not stress over it. My 4 year old and 7 year old sleep in their beds all night unless they have a bad dream. My 5 month old still comes in in the middle of the night but I know soon enough he too will stay in his bed all night.

try staying in his room with him, sleeping in his bed, or next to it or in a chair or something, stay with him for one or two nights maybe around the 2:30 wake up call, until he wakes up again, next, go to his room for the 5:00 wake up call, stay there till he wakes up..try doing this kind of pattern until you can get yourself out of his room and back into yours..it shouldn't take long if you talk to him and let him know you're there for him and absolutely nothing will happen to him, even if he's alone...
also, if he's afraid of monsters or something, try making a "monster repellent spray"..anything natural that he can spray from a spray bottle to make himself feel like he's making the monsters "stay away"..you could even let him help make the spray so he knows it will definetly "work"! :)
Good luck!

We had a similar problem with our daughter at about the same age. Does he sleep in a twin bed or a toddler bed? We upgraded her bed to a twin and she has not missed a night in her own bed. We let her pick out all of her new bedding. She seemed to be having nightmares and we made special spray to explain that monsters can not exist in our house. Try to get him to explain why he is awake. Do not worry....this to does pass.
My pediatrician said not to let him cry it out. You have to make him feel safe at night. We bought a "moon in your room" it is a moon that lights up and has a romote that has the twelve phases of the moon. (You can get it at Target for $20. Made by National Geographic) If he gets scared, he can turn it on himself. This also worked with my friends son. He no longer felt alone. Make sure he is falling asleep in his own bed too.

I found Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" to be very helpful. Maybe your local library has a copy. It offers many possible solutions to try. It helped with my two-year-old's sleep. Good luck and eventually... sweet dreams!

My son did the exact same thing around the same age, soon after he got a 'big boy' bed. I had heard that this is completely normal for this age and one suggestion was to set up a 'bed' in your room. We set up a pillow and comforter on the floor of our room - okay, but not extremely cofortable. He'd come in in the middle of the night. He was happy because he got to be near us. We were happy because we didn't have to get up in the middle of the night! It lasted for maybe four months (including on vacation in a rented condo!) until he grew out of it on his own.

I had the same problem with my daughter who is now 5 1/2. The hardest thing to do is to sit and hear your child cry out for you. MY husband and I would fight over it, and neither of us would sleep. Try music, or my daughter had a globe that shined a low light for about 15 minutes enough time for her to fall to sleep. Of course you will have to be strong and when you check on him assure him that he is ok and you are close, you must leave and go back to your room. It will take time, and you will still need to get up and assure him for a while. I would tell her that the music or the light was magic and would help her to get to sleep. I also would put our two heads together and tell her that I was taking away any bad dreams or thoughts and was putting them in my head, so she could dream peacefully. You may have to restart the music or the light for a while in the middle of the night. That seemed to work for us. One thing you can be sure of it will end, its just a matter of time. This helped me rationalize it in my head. Good luck!

Hey, my son is 18 mos old and does the same thing! I've just come to accept it and i don't mind him sharing our bed for the last part of the night/morning. He won't sleep with us forever and before we know it, these days will be over and he won't want anything to do with us. Enjoy his closeness. Does it really matter to you or are other people critizing your parenting? I don't care what anyone else thinks. It's my child and it feels right. I don't believe in letting him cry it out. I'm hoping that someday when he's old enought to communicate, we can talk him into spending the night in his own room.