2 Questions About Kids- Money and Dinner

As far as the food:

If I make something I know my son has tried but did not like, I will make him an alternative. I will not force or arm wrestle him into eating it. There are things I do not like to eat and won't, so I wouldn't expect my son to. If I make something new and he tries it but doesn't like it, he can get himself something else to eat.

Oh boy, the dreaded meal question. We were pretty tough with this. This is dinner. If you don't like it, I'm so sorry. Taste everything, and if you still don't like it, we'll see you for breakfast. No cereal, no snacks, certainly no dessert, no mom as short order cook for anything else. Keep it up, hang tough, and they'll eventually eat what you serve. Well, maybe the 5 year old will. 14 is late to start this.
As to the pointe shoes, you're being more than reasonable. She's old enough to sit down with you and talk about finances and what is fair. Set guidelines you're both comfortable with and explain a little about the family finances. Remind her of how hard and long her dad is working.
Good luck!

Updated

Oh boy, the dreaded meal question. We were pretty tough with this. This is dinner. If you don't like it, I'm so sorry. Taste everything, and if you still don't like it, we'll see you for breakfast. No cereal, no snacks, certainly no dessert, no mom as short order cook for anything else. Keep it up, hang tough, and they'll eventually eat what you serve. Well, maybe the 5 year old will. 14 is late to start this.
As to the pointe shoes, you're being more than reasonable. She's old enough to sit down with you and talk about finances and what is fair. Set guidelines you're both comfortable with and explain a little about the family finances. Remind her of how hard and long her dad is working.
Good luck!

my parents never made me eat anything i didnt want to. it was really nice. my hubby had to at least try it. i like being able not to eat what i dont want too. i still to this day hate stuffed bell peppers. but i did have to fix what ever else i wanted for myself. having the five year old help cook dinner might help her want to eat it too.

you should keep buying her ballet stuff and paying for all of it. i say untill she is 16 then she can pay half as she will be able to have a "real" part time job. its great for her . its wonderful that you are getting out of debt. you could also give her shoes for birthday gifts and christmas thats at least two pair a year! :D

In our home if you do not like or want what was is served, there are no ugly comments. You are allowed to have a bowl of unsweetened cereal. But no dessert and no snacks for the rest of the night.

Your daughter is old enough to know about the family financial situation. Let her know that times have changed and there really is not enough money to cover all of the ballet expenses. Explain that she will need to help pay for toe shoes.

Since I do not know your situation I will tell you what we do. Our daughter gives us permission to let our family (Grandparents Aunts and Uncles) that she does not want birthday gifts or Christmas gifts, instead she would appreciate help with her special lessons or trips or whatever she is saving towards. ..Our daughter has always been an artist and does a lot of community service so these are the things they have helped her with in the past. In a couple of weeks she will be going on a trip and all of the grandparents are giving her birthday money early. (She did not even ask, they all volunteered). We make it clear it is completely acceptable for them to not participate, but this is what she would like.. Sometimes they have other ideas of what they would like to give her and many times they love being a part of her plans.

The other thing we do is have garage sales to get rid of all of our junk.. For some reason we tend to accumulate a lot of stuff.. I do not know how since we do not purchase anything.. Anyway, we use this as "mad money" for these events also.. Maybe this could also be something for you all to consider.

When your daughter starts having to pay towards her ballet, she is really going to start appreciating her lessons a lot more. It is a good time for her to learn what all it takes to pay for all of her lessons..

Even if he doesn't want to eat the main dish, he should be fine eating the mashed potatoes and grapes. I would not force him, but do not make a separate meal either. You can encourage him to at least taste it, but never force. There were quite a bit of food items me and my sister did not eat when we were kids, and my mother made sure there was a side dish or something (soup, yogurt, fruit, etc) that we did eat along with the main dish. Also we were told that you never say "yuck" to food other people eat. You can choose not to eat it, but you don't say it is yucky...

1. Absolutely NOT! You are not a short order chef. My kids do not have to eat their dinner, but they do have to taste it. At least 2 bites of everything on the plate. If they truly do not like it, then they have the option of making a sandwich or cereal. But then, they do not get dessert because they didn't eat the first meal.
My 5yo will say yuck to every dinner, too! He has often gone to bed hungry for refusing to eat.

2. You are not being unreasonable. She is old enough to understand your financial situation and you need to talk to her and explain it. It will be a good lesson. Is her other option not dancing at all? You should explain that to her as well. She may decide she doesn't love it enough to contribute to her shoes.
I give my kids a budget when we go shoe shopping. Anything they want that is over that budget, they have to pay for. My oldest is into some more expensive brands of sneakers and this way, he can have what he wants and I am not broke.

For the 5 year old not eating, I would say it's normal as they can be picky at times. Don't put more pressure on yourself by cooking a separate meal though, when they are hungry enough the dinner you prepared will be eaten.

For the 14-year old, you definitely should pay because at the age of 3 you started her in something that you now can not afford to keep up with. Kids are very impressionable and once you start doing something or providing something and they get it in their heads, it's your fault/doing and you have to keep it up. I'm particularly speaking about material things, certain activities/expenses because 9 times out of 10 when they started they didn't make the decision you did, now that they like and or expect it, it's only fair and right that you finish what you ultimately started.

Just thought I would pass my 2 cents along...

No, I don't think it is a problem at all for you to expect your daughter to help cover the cost. If she has never had to contribute before, you might get some push back (especially at 14), but as long as you communicate clearly with her, she'll get it eventually. I got my first real job at 15 and paid for all of my gymnastics and dance lessons throughout high school. I probably resented it at first, but I loved it and it was something I wanted to do for ME. As an adult looking back, I am grateful that I did what I did. (A) I loved the activity and loved my coaches and (B) it taught me valuable lessons about working hard for what you want and managing finances.

The other thing I was going to add here is WHOA! $100 sounds a bit pricey for pointe shoes. We use discountdancesupply.com and they have Bloch pointe shoes for around $50. Freed, Grishko, and Mirella are slightly more. I've used them quite a bit and never had any problems.

HTH!

1. Then they don't eat.
They are old enough to know that acting "yucky" is yucky.

2. No you are not unreasonable. She will learn from it. But I would not expect her to be able to pay for it entirely. You can't, so how can she? And she can't work full time like an adult and she is in school, only 14... so keep payment expectations from her... in proportion to that.
Next, I would ask her dance school, if they have some kind if tuition assistance program... or anything... and explain your situation, that it is a financial hardship, you aren't Bill Gates, and you are in financial need.
Next, does your girl LOVE ballet? Is that her life? If it is... then it will be a continued fact of life... for her and as her parents.
And, I am sure, your 5 year old must have activity costs too? For her things? unless she is not involved in any classes/activities yet.

For us, my daughter loves taking different classes/activities. But we tell her we can only afford 1 class. So now she takes only Karate. Before that she was taking Karate and dance classes. Both of which she loved... but she chose Karate to stick with. We can't afford both. We simply explained that to her. She understands.

I completely believe your daughter is old enough to help pay for ballet shoes. She will have more of an appreciation for the shoes, kids tend to take better care of something they have paid for (in full or in part), and especially if she is making money of her own. Way to go, Lisa!

Hi Lisa-

1) Dinner, I strongly believe that if YOU make dinner then the family needs to eat it. A child will not starve by missing dinner. When parents start allowing an alternate meal, kids stop trying food and it's more work for you. Simply say that this is dinner, the only dinner and they can eat now or they may be excused from the table. If kids complained during dinner I'd ask them to leave the table, letting them know they were welcomed to return when they could eat without complaints or after you finished.

2) I also think it's important to teach kids how much things cost, especially when the family has money trouble. I was a Nanny for many years, and I had chores for the kids and made them use allowance for candy & toys at the store. I found this was important because they were given so much already.

A few years after I left, the family fell on hard times, but the kids had a hard time understanding they had to cut back. One child threw a fit because she had to get Target Tee's. This is a good time to teach an important lesson, money isn't alway there to throw around.

R. Magby

Lisa,
I totally know where you're coming from on your 5 year old. I have a 10 year old that is/was the exact same way. All he would ever eat was hot dogs or corn dogs. I can tell you that he had been this way for at least 3 years, my in-laws and us would give in and let him eat hotdogs while we all ate something else. Up until this year I put a stop to it, I have been learning how to eat healthier at work and am passing it over on to my house hold. My son will say as I am cooking "that doesn't look good" but I have said to him " you will at least taste it before you judge" and let me tell you 99% of the time he loved whatever I made be it with chicken, ground turkey or anything at all OTHER than hot dog. Do not give in on the hot dog fight and your son will learn that there are better meals out there than just hot dogs :) I will tell you that I as many others have posted did not let him have any dessert or snacks if he did not eat the supper I made and he appreciated me for it.

I do also have a just turned 15 year old son whom is very much into music. He buys speakers and likes working on electrical equipment but has no means to buy any of this "expensive" gadgets. Of course he is not of age to be hired to work so he does do chores he and there to earn a little money and my husband and I have explained to him that if he wants to keep doing this hobby he will need to pitch in with his expenses. I think any teenager needs to be given financial responsiblities such as helping pay for some of their needs like dance shoes or a portion of fees for field trips ect. In my opinion it will make them a better young adult for it.

Good Luck!!!

I do cook a different version of dinner for my son. He still has to try a bite of the regular meal, and he gets a "simplified" version of what we're eating. He is willing to try new foods but picky about textures. And I have bad memories of throwing up when my mom made me eat stuff I didn't like.
I try to give my son similar ingredients, just less mixing and cooking so I'm not making a whole new meal. I give him boiled potatoes, then we have mashed. He gets a cheese quesadilla when we have fajitas or enchiladas. He eats plain noodles with sauce on the side when we have lasagna. He eats salad when we have pizza or sandwiches. When we grill burgers he gets a grilled portobello mushroom. If we have baked salmon, he has canned tuna or crab legs. At my house, cereal does not count as dinner(but bread & butter can be part of it).

Lisa:

Please send me the recipe for your dinner - it sounds GREAT!!!

Good for you to want to become debt free. The only debt we have is our home. Everything else is paid for. It was hard to get there - the first 6 months were killer in not using a credit card - we still have debit mastercard/visas but they are NOT credit cards.

When my kids don't eat what's prepared - they don't eat. I don't make special meals. I try VERY hard to make meals that every one will eat - but overall - I do NOT make special meals. My boys are 10 and 8.

They HAVE to try it. But if they don't like it - well, they will have to wait until the next meal.

If you daughter wants to participate in ballett - she needs to understand the costs of things. There is NOTHING wrong with her paying a portion of the cost of her shoes. She is 14 - she is VERY close to being able to drive - rules must be set up to avoid fights. If she wants to drive - she will have to pay to put gas in the car, pay a portion of her insurance expenses and if she wants her own car - well, she'll have to pay for it.

My boys CONTRIBUTE to the family - cleaning, watering plants, picking up, sorting laundry. I am NOT their maid. The "M" is for MOMMY NOT MAID. Do you want to raise your children to feel entitled to things or do you want them to be responsible citizens? If you want entitlement - keep giving without expecting them to do anything. If you want responsible - show them that life takes an effort and nothing if free.

Take good care!
God Bless!

Cheryl

Updated

Lisa:

Please send me the recipe for your dinner - it sounds GREAT!!!

Good for you to want to become debt free. The only debt we have is our home. Everything else is paid for. It was hard to get there - the first 6 months were killer in not using a credit card - we still have debit mastercard/visas but they are NOT credit cards.

When my kids don't eat what's prepared - they don't eat. I don't make special meals. I try VERY hard to make meals that every one will eat - but overall - I do NOT make special meals. My boys are 10 and 8.

They HAVE to try it. But if they don't like it - well, they will have to wait until the next meal.

If you daughter wants to participate in ballett - she needs to understand the costs of things. There is NOTHING wrong with her paying a portion of the cost of her shoes. She is 14 - she is VERY close to being able to drive - rules must be set up to avoid fights. If she wants to drive - she will have to pay to put gas in the car, pay a portion of her insurance expenses and if she wants her own car - well, she'll have to pay for it.

My boys CONTRIBUTE to the family - cleaning, watering plants, picking up, sorting laundry. I am NOT their maid. The "M" is for MOMMY NOT MAID. Do you want to raise your children to feel entitled to things or do you want them to be responsible citizens? If you want entitlement - keep giving without expecting them to do anything. If you want responsible - show them that life takes an effort and nothing if free.

Take good care!
God Bless!

Cheryl

I tell my kids they must at least take 1 bite of what I make - if I took the time to make it then they have to try it - but they don't have to eat it all - all people's tastes are different. I do try and serve at least 1 familar thing that I know each likes. If they don't want any, they may find something nutritional (cereal, salad, cottage cheese or yogurt - you get the picture) that I don't have to be involved in the fixing of.

I started paying for everything past necessities when I turned 16 and had a "real job". I valued what it was MORE than when it was given to me and learned to budget. It's not unreasonable for her to pay 1/2 for her shoes (or even the cost of the lessons). SHE's the one who wants to do this - show her how much it costs and what it used to when she first started!!

About the food, they should eat what is served. If they don't want it, then they are old enough to go to bed hungry. If you keep offering substitutes for the meals you cook, then they will keep expecting them. Plus the cost can get really high for someone who is on a budget. I think that by doing this it also helps them to prepare for what will come to them as adults. Even as adults, we don't always get what we want, be it food, job, car, etc.... There is a valuable lesson to be taught here and you don't need the extra headache of having to prepare two or three different meals every night to please everyone. They will eventually learn to eat what is prepared. They won't starve themselves and after a few nights of going to bed hungry, they will get the drift.

As for the toe shoes, I do think you should buy them. This was an activity that you originally wanted for her. At 3 she didn't really have a choice. I feel like you should pay for it all until she is 18. Then she can decide whether or not she want to continue and pay for it herself. If she chose something else before then, then you can suggest she pays for her extra activities. I know that $100 is a lot of money when things are tight, but that's just one of those things that you will now have to budget for. I think it is unreasonable to ask your child to pay for something that you started. Plus where will she be without ballet? What will she be doing with her time? If she chooses not to pay for the shoes and doesn't continue with ballet, will she do something else? She may not want to pay for anything and then what???? Just remember, you started this journey for her and now to cut her off isn't teaching her a good lesson. I feel like its abandonment. If she chooses to do something else, then let her know she needs to pay.

If it becomes too much, then sit down with her and explain the situation of not being able to afford it and maybe she will understand. She is 14 and I think at 14 they understand about money. Especially if she is out there earning it herself.

Good Luck...

If my son doesn't eat dinner, he doesn't get a snack before bed. (That means all the stuff on his plate.) Now if he flat out refuses to eat any of it, I will let him have a bowl of cereal but no snacks! He usually will eat dinner just so he can have his before bed snack. I'm careful with my portions with him to give him just enough and if he wants seconds thats OK but he has to eat the firsts!

As far as the pointe shoes, absolutely make her pay a portion!!! No partial payment, no new shoes! You should get Dave Ramsey's financial peace junior for both of your kids too! This will start helping them save and learn about not getting into debt etc!

We have been debt free (except for the house) for 2 years after using Dave Ramsey's baby steps! Good for you and keep going it's worth it. ONce your out of debt and have money in your emergency fund, you can start planning family outings, dinners etc. (and cut down on the work hours!)

1. I have a two year old. If she does not eat what she is served for dinner, then she does not eat. I decided like my mom that I am not a made to order chef. I always make sure there is one or two things on her plate that I know she has had before and enjoyed but for some reason some times, she turns her nose up to it and says she does not like it.

She loves bread so when she ask for her slice of bread which is more like a treat for eating her dinner. I tell her she has to have a big bite of each thing on her plate. Sometimes, this will work and she will end up liking what she puts in her mouth which leads to her eating the majority of her food after that I give her the piece of bread with butter. If she decides she is not going to try anything, then she does not get her bread with butter and dinner is over.

I have reconfirmed with the Dr. to make sure she is not missing any vitamins and he says she is healthy and all is good.

Also, I have checked with her school to make sure she is eating there and they said she is one of their good eaters. Sometimes, I believe she is just not hungry.

2. As for this, I do not have the experience but I do not see anything wrong with making your 14 year old chip in to help with her activities.

First, I applaud you for taking the effor to get of debt. I am strong believer in no debt and paying for everything in cash.

Second, I think she is old enough to start understanding about money and the value of it.

Good luck.

I haven't read the other responses yet, so there will probably be lots of repetition.

Your kids are old enough to understand that what's prepared is what's for dinner. If they don't eat that, then they don't eat. Depending on how your house is set up, maybe they can have more flexibility at breakfast and lunch.

Your 14yo is old enough to contribute financially to her own extracurricular activities, especially given your current situation. Explain to her your goals (age-appropriate info), and teach her how to find some value in contributing to what's going on. There is a sense of pride and accomplishment to be found in enjoying the fruits of one's labor. If she enjoys it that much, then she should be able to feel good about paying something toward it.

As far as your older daughter is concerned she should help pay for her shoes and if she is unwilling maybe it is not as important to her as you thought. If she is making her own money and you as a family are trying to improve your finances it is more than reasonable to ask your daughter to help when it comes to something that is entirely for her. For her to think otherwise is unreasonable. Have the discussion with her about money so she can understand what the family is trying to do and if she is unwilling then maybe she is not that comitted to dance.

Wow, congrats on wanting to live like no-one else, so you can live like no-one else:) That's awesome! We are now debt free except our house and are working on emergency fund, it rocks to live this way, so kuddos to you and the fam. You know this is a big change probably so I wouldn't hit her with too much all at once. Maybe talk to her about getting some envelopes together so she can give, spend and save. Let her learn that by doing this she can have money when she wants things. I would say if she wants "extras" that are not apart of the budget then that should come out of her money. They have a Financial Peace Jr. for young people, maybe go through that with her and get her excited about what the family is doing financially and let her feel like a part of all of this. I think when it comes to things like sports or dance etc, this can be a part of the family budget bc this is activity that is important for her just like clothing or haircuts it is a priority. Of course all of us can cut a lot of things if the money is literally not there, but I think kids need a sport or something to stay fit and focus on, it gives stability to a rocky time of life. So if you guys can afford it, my vote it make a part of the budget. Let her know how much is going to be spent on ballet and then if there things she wants beyond that help her learn to save for those things. Way to go guys, in a few years you will be amazed at what you've done!
p.s. on the dinner thing, if my son doesn't eat what I make him, he doesn't get any snack or anything at night. He can always go and finish dinner, but he doesn't get to skip dinner and then get snacks. He can have water or milk before bed but that is it. But if he is hungry I am always happy to pull out his dinner for him to finish up. I don't make a different dinner bc I just don't have the time!! That is how we do it at my house. Good luck!

She is 14 years old and needs to learn the term responsability. If she were my daughter and wanted to continue taking lessons (at my expense) she would pony up and help pay for her shoes.

L.

I gave the kids what they wanted for lunch since it was usually quick items like a hot dog. For dinner, do not make an issue. Show them what you are having and suggest they taste it. No coercing, no drama, just matter-of-fact, "This is what we are having." If they choose not to eat, fine - do not show ANY emotion. It's okay if they aren't "hungry." But do not give other choices. They can wait until breakfast in the morning. The next time you are at the store, or when you are making your list, ask for suggestions (other than hot dogs). Tell her that you and she can have some fun and make dinner together. Let her help make the meal.

As a mom of young adults, I can tell you that my kids appreciated things more if they had to pay for part or all. Again, no drama, no reasoning. Just say that she will need to pay x amount. If she doesn't want to, that is fine. Just say that she is old enough to start chipping in on the extras. Don't get into a discussion or argument. You cannot always reason with a 14-year-old. Just state the facts with no emotion.

My kids whom are 18 and 13 years old and both are girls eat what is put in front of them. If they don't like it......they don't eat. That's the way it was when I was growing up and that is the way it is for my kids. It didn't hurt me and it is not hurting them, however they have learned to eat what is in front of them even though they may not like it.

My oldest danced for 10 years. I know it gets expensive. But, when they want something and it is expensive like that, I tell them I will pay half and they pay the other half and it has always worked out. They never minded helping paying for something that they really wanted. For one, it makes them think......do I really want this.

Our rule has been that the kids had to eat at least 3 reasonable size bites of what I fixed. If after that they really did not like it or did think they could manage to eat the rest, they could go make themselves something else to eat (I had already cooked the meal and would not be cooking anything else.). However if they said yuck or gave me the yuck look before they even tried it, they had to eat everything I put on their plate and could not get up until the plate was clean (I did put reasonable servings on their plates). Sometimes they ended up liking what I made and sometimes not but the rude comments ended very quickly. I did this not only for our home but I also did it so that when they were eating at other people's homes that implying that something is yucky without even trying is just plain rude. One of our daughters had a friend that used to stay at our house almost every weekend and the only thing she would eat for lunch or dinner was chicken nuggets or Totinos cheese pizzas. Her parents let her get by with this. I just got to where I told her what we were having and she was welcome to join us or she could cook her own food but I don't cook two meals.

Here are some tips on "picky eaters" and more info at the link below:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/12/26/...

Parent Tips:
* Offer new foods on multiple occasions. Many children need to try a new food up to a dozen times before they like it.
* Set a good example and try new foods yourself.
* Encourage healthy food portions. Never insist that children “clean their plates.” Rewarding a clean plate may lead to a distorted idea of food, such as ignoring feeling full or eating for a reward.
* Make healthy snacks available. Make fruits or veggies convenient to your child.

My 5 y.o. likes to say yuck every day, too. She has to eat 3 bites of what I make. I do not make different food for her. If she says "I'm not hungry", which is another tactic for not eating her food, then I say "That's fine, you may be excused, but there is no dessert or bed time snack if you can't eat your dinner". If she gets hungry later, then she can eat her meal. If she at least eats some of it, then I offer fruit, yogurt, or another healthy snack that doesn't take any effort. She just doesn't like trying new foods, but most of the time she likes what I make if she just tries it first. Also, if she continues to complain at the table, she is excused to her room so I can eat my dinner with my husband in peace. She cries and carries on the whole time and she does not come back to the table until she can calm down and apologize for being rude to mommy. I have friends who followed the 2 spoonfuls rule - and by the time the kids were 10, they ate lots of different foods and "adult" meals at restaurants. I never saw them eat off a kids menu. So if it becomes a rule in your house, then the kids know the expectations and you enforce it. The 14 year old is old enough to fix something else and help with menu planning. Good luck!

I think having her pay for "half" of the shoes is a GREAT idea! We do that now with my 9 yr old. It's all about responsibility and I can't stress enough how important it is to teach kids responsibility. I've seen first hand what happens when a child grows up that has parents "do" everything for them and it's NOT pretty. She's at a good age to start doing those kind of things and yes she's not going to agree but don't regret or feel bad having her pitch in, ESPECIALLY if it helps out your family financially and it's not like your saying "Hey you have to pay for your dance class", you're just asking her to pitch in with a needed item for the class, not a big deal!
She may not see it now, but one day she'll appreciate you making her do that and she'll see where you were coming from.

About the dinner plan, I definitley wouldn't force them to eat anything they don't like. I still remeber my mom making some carrot, beef stew when I was a kid, yes I'm sure it was very healthy and she LOVED it but just the smell of this food literally made me sick. She made me sit at the dinner table one night for hours since I wouldn't eat and it still didn't "change" how I felt or make me all of a sudden want to eat it. Taste buds change all throughout the years and one day they might LOVE the wrap you made but if they insist they can't eat it, I would make them something different. Not everyone likes the same foods, my dad's a full blown vegeterian, some of the stuff he eats makes me want to barf and he never talks badly about my food choices, but he kindly encourages me to eat healthier like him and I see how healthy he is so I know it's best but when the time comes for me to eat that way, then it will come but until then I am who I am, eat how I want and wouldn't want anyone to force me to eat something I can. (I'm not saying YOU force your kids) to eat anything but you might have gotten some responses from moms who say your kids should eat what you eat or they go hungry but I don't exactly agree with that, there's certan times where you might have to make a few adjustments. Good luck to you and your family!

The other replies are pretty good, but I wanted to add that it might help if at least one component of a meal is something already familiar and liked so your child has at least one option you know she will like. My 3 1/2 year old often tells me food is yucky but he knows he has to have a certain number of pieces of each part and if he doesn't like them he doesn't eat the meal. I would give him a snack later at a snack time, not instead of dinner. I try to be flexible if someone is not feeling well or if he really has a legitimate gagging reaction to food (my husband has a much more sensitive stomach than I do).

I remember at that age paying for anything above and beyond what I needed. I got my basics for school and had to use money I earned from cleaning the house or mowing the lawn to buy anything else--usually books. She is old enough to pay for part of her shoes. If not on her hobby, what would she spend her money on other than saving it? I was working a summer job for a painting crew when I was 15 and saved up to buy a bike so I wouldn't have to walk 3 miles to work at 5 in the morning. It is important for children to learn the value of things they enjoy. You do not have to get into details about your family's finances, just let her know that she is old enough to start learning about money.