"2 Year Old Being Very, Very Mean"

J.,
My son is almost 2 and I see the same behavior. I have learned that he wants my attention. When I get home, I quickly put something on the stove and then promptly sit down with my son. Dinner sometimes is late or over cooked, but the precious time I have with my son is worth it. I work full time and he wants my attention (100%) when we get home.

At school when he starts acting out, it is because he is bored.

I have not done time outs yet; I cannot help in that department.
Congrats on finishing high school!

Good for you for staying soooo strong with such a sassy 2 yr old! I know how it is, I have two children ages 3 & 1 1/2. They can be a handful! I have read that they sometimes save their worst behavior for their mothers because they know we will love them no matter what. Also, some of the stressors of the day are released on us in the comfort of our homes where the toddler feels the most security. Actually, the behavior she is displaying is a compliment to you as her mother! It doesn't feel like one, but it means she is secure in her relationship with you. I would try some redirecting, maybe talk about the positive parts of your day & ask about hers. Best of everything to you & your famliy!!!!

Hi J.,
I commend you highly for finishing HS. That is such a good thing to do for you, and your child.It presents a good model for her to see that you think school is important.
I think your child misses you and children just act out more at home, than away from home. You really need to worry if it's the opposite. You must be doing some good things for her.Lacy always gives good advice so I think staying constant with the discipline is good, then just love her.If it means ignoring some of the negative or laughing about it or what ever it takes to help her shift her mood, so you get some positive time together.
L.

Its consistency, J.. I know you say you are being consistent, but the key is to keep it up even when it seems to do no good. Your daughter is going through huge changes in her personality and development and some of her behavior is normal. On the other hand, Im guessing you are one stressed out mommy and she can sense that. Trust me, Im 33 and some days I barely make it thru the day! I would suggest sitting her down and telling her (simply) that she may not be hit, scream, whine, etc and if she does, the consequence will be...(whatever you decide). Then stick to one form of discipline repetitively. She will get the message, I promise. Two is a tough age...but you'll get through it!

Also, I find that the more little things throughout the day that I can find to praise my kids for, the better they behave to get that praise. It really does turn them around!

~L.

I think that the other responses are very good, one thing I wanted to add is that if it takes 1 or 2 weeks of mommy being "mean", that time will be well worth it when she is 4 and knows that mommy means what she says! Being a mom is tough, sometimes, but kids seem to respond really well when they know we have boundaries.
Good Luck :)

Hi J.,
If your daycare provider says she is good there she probably wants your attention. I would give her some positive attention when you pick her up. When you make dinner or have to do laundry, involve her. I have a 2 year old also and sometimes he is hard to deal with but if I let him "help" with things it makes him feel proud.

I also agree with Lacy, be consistant with her. If you give her correct time-outs they will eventually work. My 2 year old gets one warning and then he goes to time-out. When I first started with them it was frusterating because he would keep getting up but eventually when he learned that I would just put him back he stopped. When you put her in time-out make sure you tell her calmely why she is there. Get down to her eye level and explain what she did wrong. Then set a timer and after 2 minutes make her say sorry and give you a hug. It does work you just have to stay calm and consistant. Good luck. It will get better.
Chris

What worked for me and my son was when ever he started acting up with whining hitting etc. I would stop what ever it was we were doing and walk away from him. He would usually stop because it was a shock to him. But if he didn't and it made him more mad I had to just wait it out, which is hard, and the minute he stopped crying or said something in an appropriate way. I would immediately turn around and say theres my good boy, and continue to praise him for stopping his whinning or talking nicely. When they realize that they get attentiion from good behavior and not the bad, the tantrums will not be as long. The behavior will still be around but it is alot more managable then it once was.