2 Year Old Won't Take His Nap

Updated on January 23, 2008
A.H. asks from Queen Creek, AZ
21 answers

I have a two and a half year old son who up until now has been the type to take a 3-4 hour nap every day. He sleeps for 11-12 hours at night and has always done really well with it. We recently put him in a big boy bed and since then he will not take his nap. He will sit in his room and read books or just talk to himself for the entire time if I let him. I feel like I have tried every approach possible with him. I have tried bribing him with his favorite treat if he goes to sleep, getting mad, ignoring it, etc. I don't know what to do with him! If he doesn't go to sleep at all then he is super cranky for the rest of the night. He definitely still needs a nap each day, obviously he may not need a four hour nap but he needs something. Any advice on how to get them to sleep in their big boy/girl beds?

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all the wonderful responses. I am learning to just go with the flow and realize that kids go thru different stages and this is just one where he doesn't really want to sleep as much as he used to. He has been doing a lot better this week. I usually try to get my younger son down before I put my two year old down. Then I go in and pull him on my lap and rock with him for a little while. That usually mellows him out quite a bit and then he is a little more ready to get into bed. Thanks again!!!

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M.L.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't know what to tell you except my 2 yr old daughter is doing the same thing. I'm hoping you got some good responces.

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C.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have twin 4 yr old and to get them to take a nap most of the time I have to sit in their room until they fall alseep. It make take only a few minutes for them to wind down but other times it takes about 30 minutes. They still need the naps to or they will fall asleep most days around five for a quick nap. I sit and read or do puzzles while I wait. I hope this helps.

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M.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.

I have a 26 month old daughter that we just moved into a big girl bed. I have to lay down with her and wait for her to fall asleep then I sneak out of her room. This is the only way she will take a nap in that bed right now. How is his night time sleeping been? My daughter has been getting up in the middle of the night screaming for us. Again, I go an lay down with her till she is back asleep. She has always been a wonderful sleeper, usually 12 hours a night. One of my friends said that it took her son 4 weeks to finally fall back into a routine in the new bed. I know that it probably isnt the best to lay down with them , but it works for me and I am 5 months pregnant, so I need the rest!

Good luck!
M.

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H.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am going through the exact same thing with my 3 year old. She went from taking a nap everyday , after lunch for approx. 3 hours, and went down very easily, to not wanting to take one at all.
In my opionion, she needs one. And gets cranky at night.
I found that just roll'in with it was the best. Continue to put her down everyday at same time. Some days she sleeps, and some days she doesn't. And there are days when she falls asleep an hour earlier at night then normal.
Hope this was helpful
Take Care , Heidi

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D.M.

answers from Phoenix on

You might try laying down with him. My son fights taking naps also and will be awake for up to 2 hours but if I "take a nap" with him he is out in less than 5 minutes. Sometimes I actually fall asleep too, other times I just get up and then have some time to myself while the younger one is sleeping also.

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S.C.

answers from Denver on

A.,

I have found the best way to deal with naps is just roll with it. If your little guy gets down time but not necessarily nap time that is ok. You simply move up the nightly bed time. If he is being good then continue with the regular night time routine. My personal philosophy regarding this is life is not as structured as we would like it to be. If we miss a few naps so be it. I am sure he is just adjusting to the new environment.

As for you when he has some down time let him have it and don't peak in. When I lay my son down I do not even enter that area until I am sure he is asleep. If he cries I go see what I can do but otherwise best to give yourself a little bit of time rather than no time at all. Best of luck to you!

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H.A.

answers from Las Vegas on

Is he staying in his bed? If he is then you've already won half the battle. He may just need some more time to get used to it. Give him a book to look at, but no toys. Stay consistent with him and he should get used to it...sometimes it just takes time for big boys to adjust to new things.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

If he is sitting in his room playing and reading books I think that is great! My son just turned three and will no longer take naps. I just make sure he has some quiet tome each day. I also put him to bed a bit earlier at night to make sure he is getting enough sleep. He usually goes to bed at 6:30 and wakes at 7 and seems to be OK. I wouldn't worry unless he is unusually cranky.

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K.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

To be honest most mom's do not like this response but it has worked for me time and time again. As kids get older it seems like the need different forms of down time. So around the time I had both of my boys in big boy beds we tried everything too. Until we introduced the tv. I know for most parents this can be a bad word. But if you pick ed videos. Like discovery animals or shows that produce learning. They seem to be at first memorized by it but it does seem to put them to sleep also. Both my boys learned about animals and counting and letters faster this way. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi A.,

When my son was that age, we took our naps together. Have you tried that? Also, 11-12 hours a night sleep may leave him not tired at the time you want him to nap. Have you tried letting him stay up a little later or getting him up earlier, so that he will actually be tired at naptime?

Dee

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

Have you tried reducing his sleep at night? Just a thought. If he is up a little later, or you wake him up a little earlier, he is bound to get so tired, sleep will come. It could be his body clock is changing and the changing beds is just a coincidence. If he is reading, etc. and just not going to sleep, but staying in his bed, it just may be he is not sleepy right then, BUT then 2 hours later he gets cranky becausen THEN he's sleepy, but it's too late for a nap!

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

A.,
When my boys were that age I would lye down in bed with them and read a story with them. They would fall asleep and I would sleep little and recharge my energy. It was special time to bond and everyone was in a better mood.

If you don't have time, at least he is occupying himself quietly and not getting out of bed and running all over the place.

Good luck,
C. B

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

First let me say that a 3-4 hour nap is WAYYYY too long for a two and a half year old. I would also recommend NOT sleeping with him as he will form a habit of needing you to sleep with him. That is hard habit to break at his age. One thing you CANNOT make a child do is sleep. If he is having quiet time, not pitching a fit and still won't fall asleep then maybe he truly is giving up naps. My son gave them up right at his third birthday, I moved his bedtime up by one hour (he is in bed asleep at 7pm). He sleeps a full 12 hours each night and seems fine with this sleep, it did take a week or so but he fit right into his new sleep times. I would say have him lay quietly, WITHOUT books and leave him in his bed for at least an hour. Just having the downtime he will either fall asleep if he is truly tired or just at least rest. My son has to sing and talk to himself for at least 30 minutes each night, that part is so normal for kids. Don't get mad as if he isn't tired he isn't tired. Just put him in a relaxing place, darken the room and no books. Tell him he doesn't have to sleep however does have to lay there quietly and rest his eyes and brain. He will either fall asleep or not, however giving him books and choices of course he is going to fight sleep.
If he isn't napping, try changing nap times (definitely expecting it to be a lot shorter), then if that doesn't work then put him to bed an hour earlier then you do now so he gets the right amount of rest. Kids at his age should be getting somewhere around 13 hours even if it is one sleeptime at night. Good luck, three things I have learned you cannot force is sleep, eating and potty training, it is kind of keeping it calm, make it more their decisions and reward systems for taking steps to be a big kid.

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C.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Good day,
I have raised four children to adulthood, assisted in raising some of my grandchildren, and work now as a nanny. I find that what works for one child, may not work for another, so keep trying different suggestions! Have you tried removing all toys and books from his room so there is literally nothing to do except sleep? This worked with the 2 yr old I work with. What I found is that he was accustomed to sleeping in the crib, and the change gave him a new world to explore, so to speak. Does he spend other time in his room to play? If this is the only time he is really in there to explore, the new found freedom is a chance he doesnt want to miss! What an explorer you have there! I wonder what discoveries he will make in his lifetime?! Do you have any sort of "ritual" you follow at naptime? With my little guy, we select 3 books, I lay on his bed with him and read them. Then I kiss him, cover him, and leave the room which has all toys and books removed. (Those are in his closet, which he cant access without help) I sometimes have left him with one little car, but the rule is, if he gets out of bed, he has made the choice to give up the car, and I come to get it. Once I get it, he falls asleep. Initially, I never let him have any toys except his stuffed ones, of course, since they help him sleep.

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M.M.

answers from Denver on

If he will sit in his room and look at books, have him sit on his bed and look at books. Tell him if he gets sleepy to put the book down and lay his head down.

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I.J.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi A.,

My son (who's now 8) stopped wanting to take a nap the week
he turned 2. I also tried everything, and the result was that I would get more cranky. My son is very big for his age,
and also slept about 11 hours at night, and only would take 1 45 min nap before that. Some kids just don't need them anymore.

What works is to create quiet time. I (being a single mom) actually turned the lock around on his bedroom door, so he couldn't lock himself in, but I could also lock him his room.

I would tell him it is quiet time, go play in your room.
And he did. It would be a mess afterwards, which we'd then
have to clean up, but that was the worst. You might want to have some of his favorite toys saved for just this time.
I then actually would have time to lay down :)

HOpe this helps,
I.

A litte about me: Single mom for 7 years, one son 8.5. Work from home in Software Consulting.

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I would try laying down with him until he falls asleep, and reading books or something quiet to help calm him down.

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C.N.

answers from Denver on

HI- i am a mom of four. Have you tried a nap routine like book and song time? Getting used to a new bed can be challenging. Mabey it will just take a little time.
My daughter was a sleeper like that until around 2 1/2. She then would not sleep, but hang out at nap time like yours. Naps were over and so was my long quiet time! While they no longer may need a huge nap, they do need to have a quiet time...no questions asked. A time to read and have quiet time, and then maybe a calming video to watch,(unless you are opposed to this.) Also, lessen their night time hours of sleep and have a consistent wake time every morning, early enough to make them want a nap. Run them at the park, let them walk at the grocery store,etc..it seems to work..say bed 8-7 and get the energy out! The crankiness passes...take care!!!:)

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K.S.

answers from Las Cruces on

Something that worked with my daughter who is now 4, but when she went to her big girl bed she did the same thing. I told her that if she did not stay in her bed and sleep then she was going to have to go back into the crib. (Which I couldn't really do b/c her sister was using the crib but she didn't know that :) She really liked her bed and didn't want to so that helped some. I also ended up as a punishment taking all of her toys out of her room for the whole day and she had nothing to play with. I think that she was 3 when that happened, but it only took one day of no toys and from then on she stayed in her bed. If she did get out just the threat of taking them away and she would be in her bed in a heartbeat. Hope this helps. :)

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B.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

When my son did that I would lay down with him and read to him until he went to sleep....You might try it and it would give you a little rest too....My son is now 36 and remembers me reading to him.....He did it to his two childern too....

B.
Farmington New Mexico

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

My son is going the smae thing. I found that if I lay with him in his bed or put him down with me until he falls asleep then he will nap for a while. My son won't sleep in his own room after the son comes up he has to crawl in bed with his dad and I. I have even tried putting things in his windows that didn't work, so then I let him lay with me. And now he'll take a nap again. I know letting your kids sleep with you isn't the best thing, but I found staying on him about talking and moving he'll fall asleep.

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