2 Yr Old in Day Bed and Won't Stay In!!!!

Updated on January 27, 2009
S.O. asks from Severna Park, MD
11 answers

My husband and I transitioned our son's crib into a day bed in december. Ever since we did this our son will not stay in the bed. He comes in our room every night between the hours of 1a-6a. He goes back to bed but will not sleep in his room all night. Does anyone have any ideas for us?

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E.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I put a baby gate at my daughters door. It only needed to stay up for about a month, then she stopped coming out every night. Just keep taking him back to his room, eventually he will get the idea.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I've followed the advice of SUPERNANNY and she said when your child gets out of bed the first time let them know "bedtime darling" and lead them into bed and leave....from there on out you say NOTHING and lead them into bed leaving everytime. Depending on the stubborn qualities this routine shouldn't last long.
The gate thing is a good idea however my children learned to climb them, and they'd just stand at the gate and cry/scream...no benefit to me! I know he gets up after the fact that he's already gone to bed, same with my own child but it does work with a groggy child to gently say, bedtime in your own bed darling...and take them back...you don't want to get him in the habit of being in your bed. good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister-in-law was having this issue with her daughter and has recently put a stop to it. They installed a baby gate at my niece's bedroom door so she cannot just walk out. Also, they put a potty chair in her room in case she needs to pee in the middle of the night (if your son's not potty trained, that's one less worry for you). BTW, my niece is 4 and they've always had this issue, but have decided enough is enough.

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M.A.

answers from Norfolk on

I have to say that I am not a fan of the baby gate technique. I have a hard time justifying why a childs room should be a punishment and they are forced to stay there. Personally, I think that 2 is a little young for a "big boy" bed, mentally they are not ready for such a huge transition.

However, if you are set on the bed I would suggest a steady routine, strictly followed every night. I know it sounds so simple but routines are wht works. My daughter eats dinner, plays for about 30 mins, gets a bath, read two books, turn the music on and she goes to bed. It took awhile but it settled in and that is what works. I also like the super nanny technique. After the routine put them in bed and kiss/hug/ i love you/ time for bed. After that you say nothing and everytime carry them right back to bed.

Good luck!!! I know how it can be!!!

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Put up a baby gate in the doorway so he he's forced to stay in his room.

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

First - gating a child in his or her room is not punishment. It's a safety issue.
I gated mine in because I didn't want them roaming the house in the middle of the night and getting into things they shouldn't.

Second - Give the child a digital clock. Tape over the minute numbers. Tell the child that he can't come out of his room until the clock says 7 (or whatever number you like). Tape a picture of the number over the clock so he can compare.

Third - Be strong. You are the parent. You are in charge.

If you don't nip this now, you'll deal with it forever!
YMMV
LBC

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

We just moved our 19 month old to a toddler bed (with gaurdrail) about 2 weeks ago and she is just now starting to sleep through the night again (12 hours yay).
What we did was this:
We made a big deal about her bed and told her how pretty it was, and got some really fun sheets to put on, she loves the backyardigans.
Then instead of putting her in bed and shutting the door and instead of leaving the door open and worrying about her roaming the house at night we put up a baby gate in her doorway, that way she can see out and hear us and it worked. For us that is, She obviously did not like it at first but after the first two days she was ok with it and now she is happy with it.

Then we got a butterfly night light (she loves butterflies) and keep it on all night.

Then we got her some of her favorite toys and put them into her toddler bed for her.

For the first two to three nights it will be hard. I am not the type of mom to let my kids cry it out. So what we did was stay firm, it wasn't easy, I hate to hear my daughter cry it is so sad, but what I did will leave you and her feeling much better, When he wakes up (crying or not) we woke up and walked her back to her bed and tucked her in if she cried and screamed we left her there for about 5 min and then came in hugged her then walked her back to her bed and tucked her in again, then she cried and screamed and we waited 10 min and went in and did the same thing, walked her back to her bed and told her we loved her, after about an hour of this increasing the time that we came back as we went,she fell asleep, this went on for two nights, the third night she only cried for 10 min and I visited her twice,
I felt much better that I just didn't leave her to cry and she felt better because she knew that I would always come back,

Now she sleeps in her own bed for at least 12 hours. She has gotton up sometimes but instead of crying she lays down near the gate on the floor. We have an inflatable tiny mattress pad that we put on the floor there so she is more confortable. You could also use flat pillows or a double folded blanket incase he decieds to sleep on the floor too.

Anyway hope this gave you some ideas. Good luck. Just know this wont last forever, soon he will be pushing you away when you try to kiss him, for now just enjoy him, cause it wont last long!

as for the person's below comments, the gate is only temporary and not a punishment, in fact we are doing this to keep our daughter safe, our daughter needed to be moved into a toddler bed and we knew it was too soon but she was crawling out of her crib and by the fifth night of her crawling out of her crib she was wandering the halls and headed downstairs, luclily we woke up, then we decided to change her into a toddler bed when she crawled out of her crib again and hurt herself pretty bad, so NO it is not a punishment to use a gate , it's a punishment to them by not keeping them safe.

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We transitioned our son at the same time and ran into the same issues. We got him to pretty much stop by putting a baby gate up across his room, and at first it kept him in his room but not necessarily in his bed. So, we started telling him how big boys stay in their bed and followed up with that if he got out, we'd take away his paci/teddy bear/blanket/etc. -- whatever was important to him and we stuck to it. Now he knows if he gets out he loses something and he doesn't want to risk it.

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D.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.,

We put a screen door on our daughters door so that the air circulation stays constant, we couldnt use a gate b/c of the cats jumping over it but you could just put up a gate so he cant "escape". When my daughter gets tired of calling for us, she will will sometimes fall asleep at the foot of the door. It is actually kind of cute. We put some of her toys in her room so that she can play for a while if she is not tired. We hear her marching around up there, but we taught her night time is quiet time and she has to stay in her room.

If he comes to your room, don't talk to him, just walk him back in and put him in bed. it may take a week or so, but he will get it. The most important thing is DO NOT engage him in conversation when walking him back to his room. At most say " its night time"and thats it.. Good luck
D.

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E.B.

answers from Dover on

My daughter did the same thing. She transitioned to her big girl bed at 18 months because she started crawling out of her crib at that time. WHen she got her big girl bed, I'd sit in the room with her till she fell asleep and then in the middle of the night, she'd sneak in our room. However, we had one of those little fold out Dora couch/bed things next to our bed and she went right to it and slept there. Then, it was time to put a stop to that and not make it a habit and so we shut her door all the way. After while, she figured out how to open the door herself and then I bought those doorknob things that won't let them open the door. One perk that I have is that my sister shares the bedroom with her and she's content as long as there's someone in the room...if not, she throws a fit. Sometimes just shutting them in their room and having the baby monitor on is the best thing you can do. Hope this story helps you with some ideas.

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J.A.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son did the same thing, although we shut his door at night (fire safety and so he didn't roam the house) so he had to learn to open that first. He would get up and come in our room. He came in A LOT when he first learned to open his door, but after a while he got the message and stopped. I just got up, took him to the potty, and took him back to his bed. Usually he was still so sleepy he rolled over and went to sleep. I sometimes sat there with him for a few minutes or sometimes he'd ask me to sing him a song and I did. The key is, he was in his own bed. There are times even now (he's 4 1/2) that he comes in our room in the early morning or middle of the night and asks to stay in our bed - though it's pretty rare - but the only time that is allowed is when he's sick. We let him stay in the mornings if we are awake and we all lay in bed and talk and play, but not to sleep.
Best of luck ... remember persistence and consistency pay off!

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