2.5 Yr Old Starting pre-school..Need Opinions

EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT MY OLDEST FORGOT I WAS EVEN IN THE LOBBY WAITNG TO FILL OUT PAPER WORK. sHE TOLD THEM WHEN THEY ASKED IF SHE HADEVER ATTENDED SCHOOL BEFORE SHE SAID YES HIGH SCHOOL. MY YOUNGER ONE CRIED THE FIRST DAY AND THE TWO DAYS A WEEK MY MOTHER IN LAW PICKED HER UP OTHER THAN THAT SHE WAS FINE AND HAS BEEN FINE SINCE SHE WILL GOING TO KINDERGARTEN IN SEPTEMBER AND CAN'T WAIT TO RIDE THE BIG KIDS BUS WITH HER SISTER.

Hi K., I think if you can get her in for a day or two a week, give it a try. She can get used to the separation gradually. Don't worry too much, try it and see. Grandma Mary

Hi K., I think that starting in the summer would be a great advantage to your daughter. Because she will be the only new kid, the teachers will be able to help her maybe adjust a little better. I was a lead teacher in a day care center, in a toddler room, and when sept. rolled along we had 6 new children that all cried, it was very difficult on the 2 other teachers in my classroom. We were able to better help the children that started at a different time of the year. My son turned 2 and 1/2 in march, I started him 2 days a week at a preshool in April. He cried the first week at drop off only and now he wants to go to school everyday. I wouldn't worry about being "the new kid" at this age, children look at it as having a new friend to play with. My son became attached to this little girl who has been there for a long amount of time and they play together all of the time. I hope this has been helpful! My son Loves school and is upset on the days that he cannot go! Good luck! H.

Did your daughter attend daycare prior to this? If so, she will likely adjust faster. Just a thought... sending her over the summer may provide her with a smaller group of children to get to know. She would have a few days in between rather than going 100% on the first day.

We are doing this with my son right now and it has worked out really well. He was at his first "baby school" starting at 12 weeks old. The woman had to close due to area lay-offs impacting her enrollment. We were heart-broken. I'm a school psych, so I have the summer off. Nonetheless, we are sending JD two days a week to his new school so he can meet his new friends- fewer children, less "structured time" and more opportunities for outdoor play. He has transitioned well and gets excited when we pull up!

Good luck-

hi K.,
I started my son last year when he was 2 and a half also. I did not do the summer program before. He did great! He loved the school and cried alittle in begining but as soon as I left he was fine. I talked about starting school a lot to prepare him. I don't think you need to do summer classes befor.

Hi K.......I can understand the anxiety. I think most of us can relate to your apprehension. I'm no expert in this area since my first child will only be starting first grade come Sept. and my second is still home. That being said.....I would keep her with you and let her start fresh come Sept. There will be an adjustment period anyway. So, why not just make it a one time deal for both her and you. Since she is so young, I doubt she'll feel the effects of being the "new Kid". Or , maybe take her in for some short visits to get her used to the school. Most daycares/pre-schools will allow that. It may take some time (for both of you), but it will work out and everyone will be happy! Best of luck to you.

Hi K.,

My advise would be to start her in the summer program. I think that the continued contact with children her age will make the transition easier.

Good luck.

When my son started pre-school, we didn't even have the option of "a few days in summer." But I can tell you that the hardest thing I ever did was leave him at school that first day...and second day...and third...it got better after that, but I admit that when your child is clinging to your leg and screaming, it's hard to go. You just have to steel yourself and do it anyway -- your daughter will survive, I promise, and will probably calm down right away after you leave, and after three or four days, won't scream anymore. And starting her for a few days "to get used to it" before September will not guarantee that she still won't scream and cling to you when the regular school year starts anyway, especially when she sees and hears other kids screaming. Well, at least she won't be alone in that, right? ;) You might actually be better off just starting in September, when there will be other new kids and other crying kids. It's going to be hard anyway to leave her..but don't set yourself up for disaster.

I should also point out that no matter what you do, you'll definitely have it easier than I did...my son's second day of school ever in his life was 9/11 -- in New York City -- and I got stuck in NJ when they closed the bridges and tunnels and didn't get home for 24 hours. No matter what you decide to do, I guarantee you will in all likelihood get back there when you say you will and your daughter will be fine! And if my son lived through that and wasn't traumatized for life at 2 1/2, then your daughter certainly will! :)

As for her possibly being a crier, try not to worry about that too much also (if you can). Both my kids were criers, and believe me the teachers know how to handle that. If you give a hug and a kiss when dropping off and then leave (no lingering about), chances are the crying is done within 5 minutes.

Hey K.,

As a preschool owner I think you should start her in the summer and help transition her in gently. Whenever a new students starts I always have them visit for a week with half hour visits to help them adjust. As far as her being the only one crying that is so much better then in September when there are so many new kids. Crying is contagious and even if they weren't going to cry they will when they see someone else doing it. I even transition my full year kids to their new teachers over the summer verses September so they have time to adjust. Summer camp is a fun time much more relaxed, more outdoor play, arts and crafts and I think a much easier time for kids to adjust. I say do the summer camp and even then just bring her for short visits at first so she can feel comfortable when she stays in September. Good luck keep us posted

It may happen either way, but this way by the time Sept rolled around if she were already attending it may make it a little easier. I think the parent is the one that has the worst part of the it! I used to walk out feeling so horrible, but the teachers know just what to do. After a few weeks of my daughter going there I began volunteering there maybe one or two days a week which helped too.

Our youngest is going into kindergarten & the school has a 2 week program which gets them a little more used to the whole idea. I would probably try putting her in in one or two days a week to see if that eases things a bit. Good luck!

Depending on your daughter - it may or may not help to do some time in the summer first. She sounds like my almost 2.5 yr old and honestly he's been attending daycare since he was 10 weeks old. He started out at 2 days, now he goes 3. The other 2 days he's with the grandparents. To this day he STILL CRIES when I drop him off at school - EVERYDAY! I HATE it, but I know he stops shortly after I leave, I know he is super happy when I pick him up and I know he just loves home, mommy/daddy & grandparents so much that he doesn't want to leave. My husband and I laugh b/c we say we can remember crying in Kindergarten and we even admit to having WANTED to cry when we went off to college. We come from tight, loving families and sometimes its just hard to leave them. I also don't think she's going to be the only one crying if she if she goes in the summer or in September but if you can take her a day or two in the summer to show her and explain, couldn't hurt!

K.,

My opinion only, but if you know your daughter is going to be upset, don't send her at all. I can't say quit your job, because I know that isn't as easy as just typing the words, but no preschool program is worth the upset. Your daughter will remember feelings - not words - at this point. If she is comfortable with a sitter or family member at this point, changing that is not going to be for the better.

Again, just an opinion. Mom knows best, and Mom IS best.
Good luck,
M.

Definitely sign her up with camp so she can get used to her surroundings and a teacher can try to win her trust--esp if she'll have the teacher in the fall. She can go 2 or 3 days a wk in summer so she gets used to the place.

That's what I did wirh my girl when I was pregnant and she was 2 bc in the fall I was having my baby (had him now) and we got over the separation anxiety in summer. Schools know how to handle this--they may ask you to stay first wk in room or just ouytside room...etc

Good luck. Don't let her see you anxious. If she sees you're excited + happy she will be too. And always pick her up early or on time. Do quick goodbyes even if she cries and say I will be back soon.

Hi K.:

I think it depends on the personality of the individual child, but when my first went to pre-k we struggled with the same thing. He was in an in home state licensed daycare since he was an infant and we were nervous about the transition to a bigger facility. We ended up keeping him with his normal daycare throughout the summer, but in August took him to the new school for a 15 minute tour (not normally provided, but if you ask the director they should be able to accomodate you). On the first day he was one of the only children not crying, and I was able to keep it together until I got back to my car.

I am sure it will all work out, good luck and enjoy the rest of the summer...September comes too fasT!

Your brilliant daughter will be just fine if her worried doting mother will stop worrying. :) Whatever you decide to do you must do it in a happy upbeat manner. Kids are VERY perceptive and if you think she is going to cry, she WILL. If you tell her not to worry and not to cry, she WILL. However if you dont mention crying, missing mommy, being alone or any other negative ideas and try not to think of them yourself, she will have a much easier transition. Its important that you drop her off and leave as soon as possible with as little fuss as possible.
I wouldn't bother sending her in the summer and then stopping, since she might get the idea that pre-school is also temporary.

you crack me up, seriously though...I don't think it really matters...unless she is prone to getting more upset by others...and hey she may surprise you, my oldest son had never had a babysitter and on the first day of school he said "remember Mom, you're dropping me off..." and when we pulled into the parking lot he told me he could "take it from here" I had to convince him that the rules were mommy must say hello to the teachers :) Seriously the real preperation comes from talking about and be excited about it at home...making sure they know who will be taking them and picking them up(that the bus isn't comming ...yet)and about all the friends and other cool things that will be thee...and tell them that some kids will be crying because they miss mommy, and that it's okay...but you'll be there to pick them up....My 5th (and last son) is starting prek in the fall too and every time we drive by he points out his school and can't wait til he goes...(he won't be a crier, but I had 2 that were and one that broke my heart because he didn't want to disapoint me by crying...so he bit his lip on the way in...that was worse than tears :)either way they go in, two weeks into it and they're running in and forgetting you exsist until they come out!!!
goodluck!!!

I would wait until September. My daugher (just three) was in preschool last year and also was in day care two days a week - she is in camp now. I've found that camp is way more fun, and MUCH less structured than preschool and day care (which was also very much like a school setting). It's mostly just a fun time/water play/crafts environment with lots of counselors (not really teachers) as opposed to a more strict learning environment.

You'll find that in preschool, your daughter will get lots of TLC in a very structured and fun environmnet. She will lean to love and trust her teachers. She WILL stop crying after some time and come to love it. IT will take some time for both of you to adjust but those teachers have seen it all before and will walk you through it - lovingly.

Good luck - and if you want to give camp a chance - go for it. Just be prepared to have to go to camp yourself!! :)

I don't know that it makes any difference when she starts, if she is going to be upset one way or the other. If she cries when she starts school, she probably won't be the only one. But I wouldn't assume that she is going to cry - not every child does, but kids who pick up from mom that this is something to cry about WILL cry. I would stop worrying so much or your daughter will pick up on your anxiety. If she goes to school directly from the sitter, I'd say there is even less of a chance of her becoming upset, than if a parent dropped her off. And many kids are so fascinated with all of the toys, books, crafts that they forget all about separation anxiety.