2Yr Old Obsessed with Handwashing

Try to be patient. It may be a phase, but if it doesn't pass in a few weeks, or it has been going on for awhile, I would talk to his ped. An OT (Occupational Therapist) may be of great assistance to you helping him learn it's okay. Good luck to you.

Ok this brought back some funny memories for me. I once got a very concerned phone call from my son's kindergarden teacher because my son wouldn't finger paint. She was VERY upset by this and threatened to fail him. I didn't get it. He just didn't like the feel and wouldn't do it. I thought she was joking and told her to give him some crayons. My son, now 18, still does not like to get his hands dirty, washes often but life goes on. We have learned to laugh at it and not make it a big deal. He has even commented how not making it a big deal has helped him. We know he has some form of OCD but never got him tested for it because it was just the way he is. I actually got him to eat crab legs and do it himself! We just give him a wet washcloth to clean himself with and he is ok for a while! When he has had enough being messy he gets up and washes. As long as we don't do crablegs too often he is ok!

Be strong and carry a washcloth with you.

My son was the same way at that age. We could always tell which artwork was his at preschool- it was the one with ONE dot of paint! I have video of him in the high chair eating apple sauce-- some dripped on the tray and he froze and couldn't/didn't move until I cleaned it up. I also have photos of him a bit older where his sister and a friend were elbow deep playing with shaving cream on a table and he used a long handled paint brush! I thought he might have obsessive/compulsive disorder and just accepted him for who he was-- I never made a big deal about wiping his hands clean and never made him do finger painting or anything else that would make him feel uncomfortable. I tried to explain to his preschool teachers that I didn't care if he came home with artwork-- if he didn't want to paint or touch glue to please not make him do it. He never liked playing in mud or doing anything dirty that "normal" little boys generally like to do. GOOD NEWS: he is 11 and completely normal (or as normal as 11 yr old boys can be -haha!) He still doesn't really like to paint but doesn't freak about getting his hands dirty at all anymore. There isn't any way to really tell at your son's age if it's OCD, especially if it runs in your family-- but no matter what you need to make him feel comfortable. Why show him how much "fun" finger painting is if it's just stressful for him? People try to tell me how much fun knitting is but it's just not fun for me and stressful every time I've tried it! Keep a box of baby wipes accessable and start teaching him how he can wipe his own hands every time he feels compelled to do so, and don't make a big deal out of it.

I agree with Tammi. My own son (also now 11 yrs) didn't display the behavior quite to that extreme, although his K4 preschool teacher (and a room mother) did ask me if he was OCD once, because first thing in the morning, he would go to the bathroom and wash his hands. It was a routine he did. He did it several times each day while at preschool (he was only there for 3 hours at a time). He wasn't a particularly "clean" child.. but he didn't like things on him... like sand on his feet as a toddler, and the handwashing at school thing. But I never made a big deal about it. He still goes straight to the bathroom to wash his hands when he is excused from the dinner table. And believe me, as they age, it is nice to not be constantly having to remind them to wash their hands! He is a little "touch" sensitive, but not over the top (can't stand the hairs in his clothes after a haircut, or sometimes tags are irritating to him), but nothing extreme.

Could you let him keep a damp washcloth at the table so he can wipe when he feels the need? Helping him be comfortable isn't a bad thing. If you want him to do art, if he doesn't like fingerpaint, let him use crayons instead. Will he do play-doh? Give him lots of options and let him choose what he likes...

I wouldnt worry too much about it he sounds normal & like the other people said dont make a big deal about it. Does he do this with tags on clothes? Is he sensitive to other things with his other senses like light, taste, smell? My son & I are both adhd & we are very sensitive to the light & I have a very sensitive sense of smell. He might just have overly sensitive senses. Good luck & Im sure he will outgrow this just dont make a big deal about it.

first of all, if you want free services (not saying you do!) then it's time to check out Early Steps because it ends when they are age 3.

Next: this all sounds very normal and I totally agree w/ all who say to help him feel comfortable and NOT make a big deal out of it

next: start reading about Sensory Integration issues and see what you think? The 'bible' in this is a book called "The out of Sync Child"
again, NOT saying this is your child, but hey! doesn't hurt to learn more ;)

My younger sister went through a phase like this when she was very small. However, the only way a child this age can accomplish this behavior is if YOU let them. A 2 year old isn't likely going to the sink and washing his hands independently. If he's washing his hands after every bite, it's because you are doing it! Stop!

With my sister it was easy enough to explain the proper times to wash your hands: Before eating and after eating if it's a messy meal, AFTER you are completely done with messy play (once you wash you cannot return to that activity) etc. Then, you only wash his hands when it's one of those times and if he asks in the meantime, remind him of the correct times to wash his hands.

You are the adult...you control this right now. If you don't stop enabling this behavior now, it very well may manifest in much worse issues when he gets older.

All little kids like routine...if they are taking it to an extreme though, it's because those around them are allowing it.

I have a 21 month old who does not like his hands to be dirty either... can you blame them? My son is constantly coming up to me saying, "eww mommy, hands." I have recently taught him how to wipe his dirty hands on my pants. I am sure I will regret this very soon, but it has been helpful when playing in the yard. My son will not settle for wiping his hands on my pants if the "dirty" is wet, but if it's just dirt he will wipe it on my leg and then run free. Again, I am sure I will regret this very soon, but at least I'm not running in the house every other minute to wash him up. I think it's normal at this age... or at least not abnormal. Just try not to make a big deal out of it. If you are trying to introduce different textures try giving him a bowl of water with some textured toys in it. Place it on a large towel and show him how to dry his hands on the towel. This is please both of you, he will have clean hands, and you will feel at ease. I was a preschool teacher for several years and we often came across children that preferred "clean" projects. My son loves playing in water, as long as it's clean. Please remember to supervise your son while doing this activity, it only takes an inch of water and less than a minute to drown. Good Luck!

Is he eating well? Lack of b vits &/or sugar can do this.
Check out ChildrensBehaviorHelp.com, also, we have found them helpful-k

well, at least he'll never get sick!

try hand sanitizer if he will do that...maybe it will be easier on you, a little more convenient. And I would think about having him evaluated for ocd. Start by asking your pediatrician, and let him know it runs in the family. He (or she) can recommend someone to evaluate your son.

Hello A. B

it sound like he has a obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD). I suggest you to discuss with his doctor about it. you mentioned that it running into your family. Doctor should evacuate him wheather he has ocd or not.

Good thing, he kept clean with his hands and avoid dirty.
Most 2 to 5 year old children love to play with mud, sand, painting, etc... younger kids did not mind when they have dirty hands sometime put and wipe their dirty hands on their clothes. Parents usually tell them to wash hands when they done with mud, painting, before they eat and go bed.

good luck, D.

Hi A.,

My son also had some issues with handwashing around the age of two and a half, although not this extreme. I had some similar concerns, but it did pass. If you do decide that this is a concern to follow up on below are a few links for resources in Sarasota. I believe that they screen for free until the age of three...

FDLRS/Child Find
http://www.sarasotacountyschools.net/departments/fdlrs/de...

http://www.cms-kids.com/earlysteps/

Also, if you continue to see sensory issues as a problem you might consider checking these books out from your local library. Both are by Carol Stock Kranowitz.

The Out of Sync Child
The Out of Sync Child Has Fun

Best of Luck,
M.

I would personally lay off anything that is especially messy like finger painting and try to stick with fairly dry food. Turkey and cheese, etc. Give it six months, its probably just a stage.

I'm not saying you should be alarmed but these kinds of behavior are not necessarily normal at this age. Most children like playing with mud and finger paints because it is part of their sensory skills that they have to master. When a child does not like to get dirty something is not at their best and later on he would lack some necessary sensory and motor skills because of this. That is why some teachers say they would fail the child if they refuse to finger paint. It is ok to be dirty every once in a while and you should encourage him to be his age and act like a child his age. Try to talk to some developmental professional about this and try to tell him it's ok to get dirty sometimes.

YES, you might want to cunsult your childs pediatrician, and discuss the issue, and ifits agreed theres a real problem, they can refur you to the proper proffesionals. good luck! mom of one son.

Hi, A.. Well, this is a bit unusual as most boys enjoy being dirty in all its forms. If the person who was taking care of him up to this point was too anxious about keeping him clean, then that may be why he is anxios about it, too. I think your instinct to help him get de-sensitized to these things is good, but you have to go about it slowly and gently because he sounds like he has a lot of anxiety about it.

It's a bit early to try to diagnose him with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Just because he has relatives with OCD doesn't mean he has to get it. A lot more of OCD is learned behavior than most of us want to believe. Also, folks with OCD are trying to get control and maintain control over their environment, and for some reason, compulsive behaviors make them feel safe. It also gets them attention, and it also gets them a certain amount of respect because ppl cater to their phobias rather than upset them.

It's a rather complex issue, and I want to make it clear that I'm not criticizing anyone who has it or anyone who loves or cares for someone with OCD. However, this disorder is counterproductive to enjoying life or having successful relationships or careers, so I think that if a small child shows a tendency toward this kind of disorder, ppl who love this child should do whatever they can to help him overcome the phobia before it gets so deeply entrenched that it hurts the child's life.

I think that possibly you can substitute hand-washing for clean wipes. That way, the child can wipe his hands clean and not have to run away from the room or the situation. That can help him see that the situation is not frightening and it's a manageable situation.

He may have some anxiety about interacting with other ppl which manifests through fear of touching things or getting dirt on his hands. Quite often, phobias are not even about the things we're afraid of at all! Sometimes our fears get transferred to things that are actually not harmful, because we are actually afraid of things that are much larger, but we are too scared to deal with those fears because they are so much scarier and bigger than we can cope with. So phobias are coping mechanisms, even though they seem so odd and self-destructive.

Anyway, I would try introducing your son to either unscented or pleasant-smelling wipes that take off whatever goop he gets into. Don't use anti-bacterial ones because he could hurt his eyes or put his fingers in his mouth, and that would make him sick. Show him how to wipe his hands himself, and he will feel more in control because he's doing this himself.

I would also try helping him learn to do things that don't involve dirt, mess or stickiness. Throwing a ball, drawing with crayons, taking walks in the park, putting together puzzles, reading, singing, etc., are all good ways to give him positive attention and give him a sense of safety and mastery without touching off the phobia.

I have the feeling that he may outgrow the problem with time and attention to other things besides trying to make him overcome the phobia. You might try getting him to color pictures that help him express how he feels about all kinds of things, and work into pictures of the things that scare him. You can try drawing with him and showing him how you deal with things that you don't like, but start out with the two of you drawing things you like. He may spontaneously draw you what's bothering him without being asked to do so, but if he avoids it, you can draw something you don't like and talk about how you got over it or got past it.

Again, he's a little young to be diagnosed, and kids his age develop all kinds of fears. I started to be afraid of the dark at this age, and because my parents laughed at me and my sisters were allowed to torment me about it, I didn't overcome my fear of the dark until I was close to 40 years old. I was also terrified of spiders, and when I would have nightmares about spiders, I woke up facing two things that terrified me -- spiders and darkness! I didn't overcome my fear of spiders until I got over fear of darkness, and I was about 45 years old. Again, ppl thought it was a good idea to terrorize me with rubber spiders and pictures of tarantulas, and this just drove the fear in deeper.

The root of the fear has to be discovered, and it has to be done gently and lovingly.

You can also try giving him gloves to wear some of the time.

If he doesn't come out of the phobia in a few months, you might want to get him some therapy.

I hope everything works out for his happiness and peace.

Blessings,
Syl

My son has sensory issues that I noticed around the same age of your boy. In his Pre-K at-risk the term PDD (pervasive developmental delay) was used to describe these behaviors. I too, have mental health issues on both sides of my son's family tree. Best of luck!