2Yr Old Will Not Wear Halloween Costume

Fear is a very powerful emotion. It is especially powerful when you're two years old. Before that time, kids don't know enough to be scared. As the kid gets older, they learn more fears. Usually, they grow out of them, but not always. Some of us adults have fears that stem from childhood.

Here's one thing I can share with you. I teach parent child swimming and toddler swimming. Kids who are afraid to put their faces in the water become more afraid if the parents cajole, bribe, threaten, whatever. It's not because the child is becoming a rebel, it's because they are already irrationally afraid of putting their faces in the water. The more the parent pushes to do it, the kid feels like - it must be bad if my parents are going through all this to get me to do it. So, the fear increases.

So, all I can recommend is that you stay matter of fact about all his fears. Gently show him that the things he is afraid of are just common things. His monkey costume sounds adorable and a lot of effort was made, but you may just have to let it go.

I'll share another short story, both my kids were in the water as infants, we spent a lot of time at pools and lakes. We used to vacation at the ocean. Each kid spent one vacation freaked out by the ocean. They would go in the pool, they would go on the beach, but would not put a toe in the ocean. It was the vacation they would be 2 going on 3 years old. The next summer was fine, we were back in the ocean.

I don't know if any of this helps, but have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN with or without the monkey costume.

My daughter did the same thing at two. The following year she couldn't wait to put her costume on. It will pass.

When my son was about 2 he refused to wear his costume too. He didn't wear it at school or at home. He didn't go trick or treating but sat outside with us and handed out candy. He was fine the next year and ever since. We didn't push it and he really had fun handing out candy. He wasn't afraid of other costumes, just didn't want to wear his. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'll bet he'll be into it next year

Well, you can't make him wear the costume, as I'm sure you know. Grandma will be disappointed, but I'm sure she wouldn't want him or you to go through the trauma of it. I would not make a big deal about it - you've already done all the coaxing possible. If you continue it, you may just make it a bigger issue in the longrun.

Halloween is for fun and if he's freaked out by the costume or others in costumes, then he doesn't have to participate.

For the past two years, my teenage daughter has been the Easter Bunny for an event at New Town and she wears a full bunny costume. Parents are so excited to have their child's photo made with the bunny and most of the kids are too. But there are a lot of toddlers who are terrified of the giant bunny. It's unbelieveable to me how many parents force their kids to be next to the Easter Bunny when the kid is obviously horrified. The moms laugh in embarrassment and tell the kid it's ok. The kid is white-knuckled on the mom, squirming and crying to get away. The the mom just thinks it's no big deal and tries and tries to get a good picture. It's like, for that moment, the parent forgets that they are supposed to protect their child from monsters, not force them to sit on a monster's lap! I have to be the Easter Bunny's body guard, so I gently tell these parents "Maybe he's not ready for this yet. Maybe next year." As parents, we want our kids to experience all these fun things, mostly because it's so cute, but some fears are truly legitimate for a small child and should be respected. It is very rational to be afraid of a giant rabbit!

Your son's fears are probably a passing thing, but they are very real to him. He may have had a bad dream that he doesn't even remember that is making him afraid of so many things. You can let him know there is nothing to be afraid of, but then let him sleep with a light on and do what you can to make him comfortable with things. Don't make a big deal of it or belittle him for it because he doesn't need shame on top of the fear.

I understand that he has a wonderful cuddly costume to wear, but I don't see the point in putting him in it. For some unknown reason, he doesn't like it. No matter what you do, it doesn't have to make sense except for the fact that he doesn't like it. I think letting your mom know he doesn't want to wear it is easier than the anxiety that he would feel by wearing it. I have kids of differing ages and I can say, it's just not worth the struggle. Your little guy is counting on you to minimize uncomfortable situations on him.

This can be a normal thing for this age. I would just do what you can to reassure him. Here is some possibly helpful information for you.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_easing-your-2-year-o...

You may need to give into it and have him wear a costume that isn't threatening to him like a farmer, a cowboy or race car driver or something where he'd wear somewhat normal clothes. I bet the monkey suit is absolutely adorable but you may need to save it until next year.

Also, this may be a longshot but I wonder if you should have his eyesight checked to see if he needs glasses. My brother needed glasses at a young age and he expressed a similar thing, things appeared as shapes to him and he was very wary of things until he got glasses. Who'd have thought!

Good luck and happy trick or treating!

This is a big lesson for you mom....and here it is.

No matter how much we want our children to do something, like something, or behave in a certain way....we honestly have no control. They are going to be themselves, feel their own feelings, and have their own opinions.

Don't push it, just accept it. I would offer him the option of handing out candy, but other people in cotumes might be just as bad...

Maybe pop a fun movie in the DVD player and let him chill on the couch. My personal favorite Halloween move?

Snoopy and Charlie Brown...and the Great Pumpkin.

Next year will be a whole new deal, if you are just calm and accepting this year. Forceing the issue could just make this last longer.

It may not be reasonable to you, but your 2 year old really is afraid. Some of this he'll out grow on his own but you should reassure him that it's ok if he doesn't want to wear the costume. I know you are disappointed, but put that aside and don't force him for something as trivial as a Halloween costume.
I have very clear memories of being 2 years old, sleeping in my baby crib, and just KNOWING there were bad things under the bed. Things that were there when the lights were out. I made up "rules" to keep them at bay. If I were all under the blanket they couldn't get me. If I could jump far enough away from the bed and run to get my Mom to turn on the light (I couldn't reach it myself) I would be safe.
No one really has to tell little kids that there are monsters, we make them up almost instinctively.
My Mom never knew for years why I was so scared of the dark when we lived there in that house, but when I was able to verbalize it when I was older, she was amazed that I would have even come up with the "bad things under the bed."
We didn't have tv, so I didn't see it anywhere. Just a good imagination I guess.
Look at your son's fears as being perhaps a sign of a very intelligent imaginitive child, and don't belittle them. It doesn't help to tell him there isn't anything there, because he "knows" better. Make up something to help him not be afraid. We did "monster spray", with my kids, I kept a spray bottle with scented water in it and would spray the room and the closets at bedtime. It kept the monsters away , you see. :)

If the 2 yr old is afraid of the costume then I would not make him wear it at all. In fact since he is afraid right now (which will pass) I wouldn't even take him trick or treating this year. Mother of 3 children and 9 grandchildren.

Frightening maybe so just dress up as .A Cute 2 Year Old' and just enjoy!

My son is the same age, and has the issue of, not being scared, but he just didn't want to wear it period! LOL It's his way or no way! = P It's his older brother's old Sully costume, so he thinks that's cool, as he loves Monster's Inc. etc... and it's big brother's. I just told him if he wanted to go get candy from people, he had to dress up and say trick or treat! He's asked me almost every day, is it time to go get candy yet? I just tell him no, not yet, but when it's time you have to wear Sully so people will give you candy! So maybe if you tell him people will give him all sorts of candy for dressing up, he might be interested? Have him watch some curious george before hand, and put a mirror in front of him, and show him why you're putting the costume on what he looks like... Candy is what has convined my boy to wear his costume lol! Good Luck!

Hi B.-
My 20 m/o has been going through a fear thing now too, esp for Halloween. Mostly pumpkins (?). Anyhow, I don't know how accurate this is, but they had an article in this month's Parents magazing that the half-year birthdays, especially for the younger kids, were really difficult and there was a lot of fear problems. I have no idea if that's true, but our son had been fine with most things until like the last couple months, and now he's afraid of a lot of stuff, like going down the slide, getting pictures taken, etc. I don't really know what to do either, just acknowledge their fears and try to show them it's not really a problem. Mostly just wanted to say I'm right there with you and see if the other mamas had any good advice for you that I could use! Best of luck, and happy Halloween!

I don't really have a suggestion because I am going through this same thing with my 2 year old. I just wanted to let you know that this is apparently very normal. I am just going to try to put his costume on and see how long it will last. He isn't scared of his costume so much as he is halloween decorations. Such as skeletons, skulls, scary masks and stuff like that. He gets so scared that he literally starts to shake and scream. I am more worried about the other kids that are dressed up that he won't be able to handle. If he can't handle it I will just keep him in this year and hope all is well next year. I don't agree with Ruth in taking away candy and showing him the consequences. This isn't him acting out it is him being truely scared. And how can we blame them. They are so little and those things probabaly are scary to them. Good luck to you!

Personally, I wouldn't worry about forcing a two year old into a costume. He obviously is not going to feel slighted if he misses out on dressing up this year, and I can pretty much promise you that next year all will be fine again.

He is just going through a stage where he is becoming aware of the world around him and trying to figure things out.

My youngest did this at the same age with Santa. She was great with the whole thing, until we got to Santa and were ready to place her on his lap. She completely freaked out ! She wanted NOTHING to do with him. We gave up after a few tries, figuring it wasn't worth it to traumatize her over a holiday game. As we turned to walk away, she stuck her little face over daddy's shoulder and shouted to Santa "I love you Santa !" LOL ! Go figure kids ?
There just happened to be a reporter present at the time and her story ended up in the local newspaper. LOL !
By the next year, all was well again.

VERY NORMAL!!! Maybe instead of a full blown costume, put his clothes on backwards or inside out....Try just a sill baseball type cap and slippers.... Or even just put him in his pj's, give him a bottle to carry....

Don't force it, it only makes your night worse.

Have him help in the candy passing tomorrow and show him a LOT of others in costumes and they are not scary.

Good Luck!

I agree with the several others who have responded. What he's going through is totally normal, and it will be something he outgrows. He is still pretty young, so I am sure he won't feel like he is missing out on Halloween this year. As he gets older, he will better understand the whole Halloween costume/trick or treating thing that goes on. As silly as it may seem to us as adults, he is a young child and is really scared of the costume. It was very nice of his grandmother to make the costume, but I wouldn't try and force him to wear it. If it's big enough, maybe you can save it for next year?

My 16-month old isn't scared of his costume but just doesn't like to wear it, so we have just a cute Halloween t-shirt that we're using as a back-up. At 2, your son can skip the trick-or-treating without even missing it, which may be too scary itself at this point. Hopefully next year he'll be ready. Happy Halloween!

it is normal for kids this age not to like costumes and they usually won't go up to their favorite character in a live setting. They are fine with watching them on tv but usually don't want anything to do with them when they are live and try to talk to them. I wouldn't make him wear it, in a few years he will probably outgrow this fear and want to dress up but if he doesn't want to now at this young age, don't push it.
My kids enjoy going to the parties and usually don't dress up like anything. They just enjoy the fun and candy.

Just keep his costume in a dress up box and maybe he will wear it sometime when he is watching curious george on tv. I have bought my sons favorite character costumes after Halloween and gave them to him for Christmas and he loves dressing up into the character when he is watching the movie. He has Batman, Robin, Darth vader, a dinosaur outfit, Lion King Simba, cowboy outfit, and they are all in a dress up box so he plays with them more during the year and really doesn't care if he dresses up for anything for Halloween. It is usually cold so they dress warm and have a coat on anyway so it isn't that visible anyway.

My son wouldn't go near his costume at 2 either. So for Halloween we ditched the costume (much to my dismay), and he went as a Royals player. I had him wear a jersey he had in the closet with a pair of jeans. We put a ball cap on him, gave him a bat and glove and called it good.

This didn't get him to wear the costume I wanted, but at least we were able to get him dressed and out the door in something he felt comfortable in. Good luck!

I would NOT make a big deal out of this...it will just be giving his behavior the attention and sympathy that he has been getting in the past. I would ignore it...dont make him wear the costume...if he wants to go trick or treating in his regular clothes...let him...if he doesnt go trick or treating...then he doesnt get any candy. Early lesson in consequences.
Be matter of fact about things...dont over react to the things he is scared of....just explain it and go on. I think he will pass through this phase soon and you can breathe easily again.

It could be possible that your son doesn't understand the point of dressing up into weird outfits just because mom says to or that it is what everyone else does one day a year. Maybe when trick or treaters come to the door in costume it will make more sense to him. Being afraid is his feeling and emotion and you cannot fix this for him. From experience I would recommend not pushing him to get over his fears because they will probably last longer.

I know this is Way late but i can vividly remember one Halloween when I guess I had to be around 5 yrs old. I was supposed to be a witch with warts, green makeup & a hat with this awesome pancho lookin cape thingie my mom made for me, & of course this awesome broom with a drift wood handle for extra creepy factor. I remember being fine with every part of the costume but for some reason when the big night was upon us i got it into my head that once my warts were on that I'd never get them off & I'd be an ugly looking witch for the rest of my life. My dad joked that if that did happen that they could just take me to a dermetologist if that happened but I still didnt want to take any chances. I had no problems with the rest of my outfit, but I just had this thing about the warts & to this day I have no idea what got that idea in my head. Needless to say that no prosthetics have been used in the making of my costumes until I started handing out candy to the kids in the neighborhood then it was all about 'what can I do this year that will make them wet themselves?' LOL! kidding. He'll be ready next year. Sometimes kids just get goofy ideas about stuff. Hope it was fun for your bigger little one.

My first question would be what he is watching on tv with and without you. What are other children possibly saying or doing to him, like tease scaring and that kind of thing. I think eliminating any of that first. Not pushing the costume or Halloween stuff is probably the best course of action. Also, have someone put on a costume, and show him who is under the costume or mask, in a safe daytime environment. Otherwise, I think it is best to avoid stuff that scares him until he grows out of it. Don't coddle though, just don't force it.

It sounds like you have more of a problem than just getting
your son into his costume! Poor guy. It sounds like he's
become phobic about a lot of things and that someone has put
some ideas in his head about monsters and things. I have a
son the same age as yours, and while he has become slightly
more cautious about things at times, he is certainly not
fearful. But personalities are different. Has something
really frightenting happened to him recently or has there
been a change of some sort that has made him feel less secure?
Or possibly some older/younger brother rivalry? I know from
past experience being an older sibling that sometimes it is
really hilarious to try to scare your younger sister when
you are kids and not realizing that you can really freak them
out!! I'm not picking on your older son or anything, just
pointing out that he does have a little bro he might like to
tease. It happens.
In the meantime I really wouldn't force the issue with the
costume. If you keep on him about it you may make him more
afraid. The possibility of not being able to go out trick
or treating unless he has a costume on may be all it takes
to get him into it, or it may not. You might have to let it
slide. It's not going to do him any good to force the issue.
Have you asked your pediatrician about this? He might have
some ideas too. Good luck.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My 10 year old son is freaked out this year about his werewolf costume that he picked out himself. He won't sleep in the same room with it. Over the years he has been this way, and I just try to get him to wear the costume part and not the mask, to keep him warm while trick or treating, and I may put some type of makeup on his face. I wouldn't make a big deal out of all his anxieties, or he will continue to add more on, if you know what I mean. I don't think people will mind even if he trick or treats with no costume at all.

I got to tell you, whatever you do, don't force it on him. It will make it worse and then stay with him as he gets older. Take it from someone who has been there. When I was 4 maybe 5, I got scared by a Halloween custome that my neighbor was wearing. Our families went trick or treating the first few years that I was old enough, because my Mom was new to the area and didn't know the neighbors that well. I screamed and cried, so we had to go back to the neighbors house and he had to change into a new costume.

I wouldn't say that I hated Halloween after that, but I absolutely dreaded it each year. I hated most costumes. But especially anything that in anyway covered my head or face. Hats or ears or crowns or glasses, something simple like that was fine. I stopped going trick or treating younger than most kids, stopped dressing up at all fairly young too. I didn't do the whole teenage thing, that most do now. Didn't go to Costume Dances/Parties in High School. In college, my roommates kind of coaxed me back into it. The first couple of years, we went to functions on campus and then after we turned 21 it was partying at the bars.

Now that I have a child, I don't want her to miss out on the experience or fun because of my anxiety about the Holiday. I will dress up, but again it is something where my face or head will not be covered up, like last year I was a riverboat captain and this year, I will be a chef.

Anyway, not really any advice, other than if you don't push the issue, he will move past it and maybe be ready to try again next year with the Curious George costume. Good Luck!

Maybe it's a attention getting thing. At this age, they catch on to the extra care you might take if they act uneasy about something and some use that to their advantage. I'm not saying he is doing that but it a possibility. I would not make any special attempts to shield him from stuff, just tell him it's no big deal (or what ever language you all use) and just go on. After a while the "issues" will fail to get him what he wants and will learn to deal with things. I'm not suggesting you lock him in a dark room until he gets over things. But, leave the costume out, talk about it when you pass by it but not him but maybe to your older child as a how cute this is type of thing.... but ignore your younger son when talking about it. Leave it out all the time, and descentiz(sp) him to it. It might be kinda late in the game to start this with Halloween being Friday but I would get started as soon as you can. But, don't try to negoagite or bribe or cater in any special way. Just play it out like a normal pair of socks. I would do the same on coats and anything else he has issues with with-in reason. Just a thought.