3 1/2 Yo with Hyperactivity Issues

The only thing I can offer for advice is: DON'T MEDICATE!

He is too young, and once on medication, it seems to me, they need more and more of it, and the side effects are worse than without. Keep up the discipline and most important, LOVE. I work with troubled juveniles, some of who are on medication and have been told over and over again, it's not their fault, but the medication doesn't really seem to be working, most likely, due to just using medication and not any type of discipline. For ADHD, I never advocate medication, due to usually the children are overstimulated, no discipline, ect. Keep to a strict schedule, keep up the love and reasonable discipline, and most of all, let him run and play. There are good doctors, ect that can tell you how to discipline an ADD, or ADHD child without medications. This is one area where I am completely against medicating children for ADD and ADHD. Some of the parents I come into contact with, expect the medication to do everything, and it doesn't. While it may help sometimes, a schedule and discipline and love helps much much more.

Go see a child clinical psychologist for a complete assessment and then parenting techniques to deal with what you find. Any pediatrician worth his salt will want such formal assessment before prescribing meds long-term to such a young child. Don't be anti-med, and even try just behavioral techniquest to start, but get good professional intervention at the start so you will know you are on the right track.

I used to say that if I didn't know that my son was hypersensitive to red food coloring, I would have put him on medication long ago. He gets very hyper, wild, and emotional after eating anything with this dye and, thank goodness, we figured it out when he was two years old. Since then I have run into other moms who have discovered the same thing and a grown man who says he still turns into someone he doesn't like when he accidentally eats red food coloring. Look at the ingredients of everything he is eating and make sure there is no red food coloring. For example, my son loves yogurt and there are certain brands that have no red food coloring (Dannon, Stonyfield) but there are many brands with it. Also, many chocolate cake like treats have red food coloring to make the chocolate darker looking I guess.

Of course, avoiding all food coloring is a good idea. Chocolate used to make my son wild too when he was little. He can handle it better now that he is bigger. This you mentioned your son has 'episodes' then I thought there might be a trigger. Although, some kids I know eat red food coloring all day long or drink coke (avoid caffeine too) or eat chocolate - so there is no way to see how they would behave without these foods. Dairy could also be the trigger, as one mom mentioned, and some kids eat dairy all day long too.

You might want to check out "Is This Your Child's World" by Doris Rapp, MD. http://www.drrapp.com/

Also, I noticed that you live in Kentucky and it looks like you there is a Child Evaluation Center in Louisville that you might want to take him to http://louisville.edu/medschool/pediatrics/wcec

Here is another place you might want to look into:

http://www.unlimited-learning.com/

Good luck!

My little man, who is now 5, was about to drive us up a wall as well. His hyperactivity was so bad that he is still receiving therapy for both speech and fine motor skills. To say he was on constant go is an understatement. There was no way to disipline him...he couldn't even sit still long enough to finish a meal. Then I discovered Sensory Processing Disorder from one of the many therapist I had dragged him to. It fit my little guy to a tee and after reading up on it, I realized that one of the causes of it is dairy allergies. Took him off all dairy products (you really have to read labels! Don't make assumptions that there's no dairy in it just because it's bread or something)and poof...I had a normal, happy healthy little boy who does everything in his power to please. He is currently recieving treatment for his allergies and we now can give him small quantities of dairy in his diet occassionally. People thought I was crazy...but I can't tell you how many moms at his school have taken their hyperactive kids off dairy and seen a noticable difference. It takes about 10-14 days. Hope it helps for you. I know what you are going through. It's awful. Know that it's not you. Good luck!

Three years old is much too young (in my opinion) to diagnose a child with ADHD. I have three little boys (7, almost 4 and 1) myself, and taught preschool for many years before deciding to run a preschool from home to be with my family. Although I do not know your little boy, I have known lots of little boys, including lots of three year olds. They are all active, and they are all different. We should not compare one child to another. My three year old does not stop moving from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. In fact, he even moves a lot in his sleep. His diet is very important in how he behaves, as is a pretty rigid schedule. Little boys, especially energetic ones need a routine with lots of opportunity for vigorous physical exercise. We even got our little man an exercise trampoline for his room to help with the activity! Putting a little boy of three on medication is a HUGE step, and I would get several more opinions before you make your decision. Children nowadays are way overdiagnosed anyway. Are you home with him during the day? Is it possible to try him on a schedule and good diet before trying the meds? Good luck.

continue with the elimination of foods, alot of adhd is caused by a chemical imbalance, my now 31 year old son could not have any red dye, or whole wheat each child is different and it can be quite a challenge to pinpoint cause factors, my grand daughter has to avoid chocolate and red dye which is in alot of foods, i found spankig did not work as i'm sure you have didcovered they just get in overload and time out seemed to work better or taking away privledgeshope this helps al least to know you are not alone as alot of us "older" moms have been there, done that, wore out the t-shirt God bless

I think what also needs to be taken into account is the fact that 40 years ago hyperactivity was almost unheard of... those were the days when kids spent almost every waking hour outdoors playing (running around burning off energy). Kids NEED to be outdoors and allowed to do sort of what they want (we need to try stop hovering over them, but keep a responsible eye on them).

When I was little we were outdoors all the time playing in our yard without mom watching our every move and telling us how to do everything... I'm NOT saying you hover and control - just that there are big differences in parenting today than when I was growing up and when I raised my son... like todays kids have NO freedom when they play in the dirt and so forth, geez, some parents freak out if their kids gets a speck of dirt on their hands (not saying you do).

For what it's worth, there are micro-organisms in soil that are beneficial to humans and their development, studies have ALSO shown that these soil organisms are BETTER at treating depression than antidepressants!!!

We need to let our kids run around outdoors, explore things on their own (can be done within our eyesight without interference), let them fall on their own and get back up, let them get dirty and get dirt in their mouths (keep the pesticides and chemical fertilizers out of the yard!!!).

And get ALL of the processed foods out of their lives. Processed foods are notorious places for hidden sources of MSG and Aspartame. I would NEVER allow MSG or sugar substitutes in my child's diet - read labels, these poisons are in nearly every processed food. Here's a link to an article I wrote that may be helpful... http://aromatherapy4u.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/the-little...

It is not normal human behavior and for normal human development for a kid to sit still and be quiet for the better part of the day. Look at the animal babies, they run and play and run circles around their parents (not saying our kids should not learn good manners)... planned sports are not the same as having time to be free to grow and explore on our own for mental health (watch from afar so they're safe and yet allowed to have what appears to them, unsupervised time so they can develop mentally the way we're suppose to).

I'd try these non-invasive, non-drug techniques long before I'd allow some doc to prescribe any poisonous substance to my kid so I could get a handle on his behavior.

I think we need to remember... NO KID can sit for 8+ hours a day and behave like an adult and not go completely bananas in the process!

Hope this helps.

A.,

It is obvious that you are a bright young lady with a son who is following in your footsteps. You mentioned that you are homeschooling this little guy. Which means, that 99% of his time is spent with YOU. This also means that all of his behavior is being developed from your verbal and nonverbal cues. At this age, mostly your nonverbal cues. There were several mentions in your responses of short fuse and pulling hair out. My advice to you is make certain you are treating your son with the same respect you want to be treated. Don't yell at him when you are tired and frustrated, Don't grab him in a forceful manner, Don't ignore him when he is in a 'wanting' mode, Don't let him cry for hours, etc..etc..If you find yourself going up on the frustrated scale, walk away for 10-15 seconds, take deep breath, and come back in the room. He looks up to you more than anyone in the world. He is your shadow...

If you did not know. Einstein had ADHD. You have a bright young man on your hands. Do you really want to put him on a drug? What if your little guy has the cure for cancer inside his little brain? You put him on a drug at age 6, which will alter his growth (body and mind) tremendously and do ALOT of other things that would take too long to write in this brief message. Maybe you should talk to college students who have been on a drug since they were 12 years old. It would give you a whole new perspective on the ADD/ADHD drug situation in this country.

You said it yourself, "It is a quick fix" That's all...The BEST thing you can do for your son is put him on a schedule. Make certain everything in his world is in order. Toys - Books - Clothes - etc. all should be put away. When he is ready to play/read, change, etc., you pull those items out of the closet for him. I would recommend no more than 3 - 4 toys per day. That is the system we are currently doing with our little guy. He is also another little brain child. Believe me, All this stuff I am writing to you is exactly the words being shot in my face over the past year. In order to grow a gentlemen, you must be gentle with the boy. There is a book out there called Boys Adrift that I would highly recommend you to read.

check out the website too when you have time. http://www.boysadrift.com/

Also, I recently started a whole planned curriculum every week. He is learning sign language, painting, coloring, drawing animals, acting them out, taking field trips (adventure science center, library, Cheekwood, etc.), cooking, cleaning, playing daddy's guitar, singing, dancing, and so much more that I can not keep going. Imagine that your son is a computer chip that has not been invented at this point, there is no limit to his storage capacity, you must keep filling it with information. The more information you provide your son, the happier he will be. Don't try to force him to 'learn' it at this point...it is more about play learning, sharing the adventure together. They have plenty of time to learn later on in life. Boys Adrift talks to you about starting boys later on around 6 or 7, as their brains develop much differently than little girls.

okay, enough babbling, you are a smart mom with a gifted son, he needs stimulus, and lots of it, along with lots of activities, fun activities, maybe even some kick boxing. You know your son....do what he likes and lots of it.

Build your little castle into a giant mansion for others to reap his wonderful giftedness in their future! Make it a bright one for others to live in one day.

My three boys were very active too. We took them outside to play every morning and every afternoon. As they got older we put them in sports and that really seemed to help. The older two boys played soccer, baseball, football, in-line hockey, basketball, wrestling and track. My oldest son played two sports a season until high school and he played 4 sports in high school-football, wrestling, baseball, and track. My second oldest son played football, wrestling, and baseball in high school. We are waiting for our little one to get older to put him in sports. Sports really helped them expend their energy and not drive us crazy!

My friend is a nurse and she said that boys get a burst of testosterone from age 3 to 4. That may be what you are experiencing right now. That usually gets better by the time they are school age. Try taking him outside to play more and see if it helps. My mom always said to bundle them up in a warm coat, hats, mittens, and scarves and take them outside every day until they tell you they are too cold to play out any longer. She said the fresh air and playing outside is the best thing for little kids. My kids always napped so well after being outside. Good luck!

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I am bald from pulling my hair out. My daughter is very hyper as well and has been even in the womb. I recently took almost all of her toys away and just left a few things. Her bahavior changed from running all over the place acting crazy to sitting quietly and playing. It was insatnt. Of course she is still hyper but she has been focussing. I wonder if all of the stuff our kids have is making them crazy, confused, spoiled and overwhelmed. I have got her on a better diet now too. I cut out her sweets and that seems to have helped some. I don't know what the answer is to this problem but I know that I was diagnoised ADHD and they gave me meds for it and that were awful. I am going to stick with this for a while and cross my fingers. Oh yeah my daughter used to be really reckless too and fall all over the place. That has improved this year. Good luck.

A., I know this has got to be a terrible ordeal for you and your husband. ADHD can be a real challenge. Do you know of anyone in your family, or your husband's, with ADD issues? ADD does not necessarily manifest itself with the stereotypical hyperactivity. Some ADD's are just the opposite. They can appear almost lethargic at times. Do you know someone in the family who has a hard time staying on track? Go to retrieve their glasses but notice the afternoon paper in the yard; go out to get the paper, notice the garden hose is not put up; take that back to the shed but spot a car window down and detour to roll that up in case it rains ...
Whole comedy routines have been built around that behavior but there is a definite source. In most cases, it's AADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder). In recent years some in the medical profession have begun to acknowledge that ADD is not like measles or acne. It is not a childhood disease that kids will outgrow. People don't really outgrow ADD, they just find ways of dealing with it ... or not. Some adults have learned to use the ADHD qualities to help them succeed and even excel in their chosen occupations. David Neeleman, CEO of Jet Blue Airlines is ADD as is the former president of Eastern Airlines (whose name I have long since forgotten, sorry). The former CEO for Kinkos Printing (Paul or Peter Orfalea) is also ADHD.

Unfortunately, too many in the medical profession still refuse to recognize ADD/ADHD as a 'real' condition. And most doctors will refer you to a psychologist. You are fortunate that your pediatrician appears to be of the former mindset rather than the latter.

Recent studies have shown that a tendency to ADD tends to run in families. And too often it is diagnosed backwards. Your child presents with symptoms of ADHD (which, in children, can only be diagnosed anecdotally or through observation). The doctor may ask if anyone else in the family is ADD or if you, or your spouse, ever had problems in school, or keeping a job, or maintaining long-term relationships, or with alcohol or drugs. (Self-medicating is a common method of adult (or even teen)coping.) He may then move back to grandparents.

In back tracking, we start to see that Mom's always being late to every family event is rooted in the fact that she cannot stay on point when she is getting ready to go. Or Dad's alcoholism was not just a spiritual weakness, it was his way of dealing.

Too often, people with ADD are viewed as lazy, or crazy, or just plain stupid. The truth is that ADD's are more likely just the opposite. The brain apparently fires at a higher level than normal and there is a greater percentage of active (as opposed to passive) brain activity. ADD's tend to score generally higher on IQ tests, to be more creative, and can have a greater ability to be problem solvers as they tend to "think outside the box". ADD's also have the seemingly contradictory ability hyperfocus on something to the point of blocking out everything else until they complete or master the particular task.

As you can see, if your son is confirmed to be ADHD, he, and you and your husband, have a lot of challenges in store. And, with the right guidance and information, those challenges can be the stepping stones to an exceptional future. The more informed the medical profession and general public become on ADD the easier it is to diagnose, even in one as young as yours! And the earlier you start on addressing how to deal with his ADD, the better. You are already taking a great first step by controlling things you know trigger his hyperness such as too much video game play. As far as diet is concerned, make sure you avoid as much artificial dyes and processed foods. Processed sugar is a big offender as are the red dyes in almost all processed foods. If you cannot afford to eschew processed sugars altogether, beet sugar, which is readily available in most places, is a better choice than cane sugar as it is less refined and requires more from the digestive system to break it down and process it in the body. Watch for cause-and-effect foods and behavior. That will be your best guide as to what his triggers might be.

You absolutely need to get connected to a child psychologist who can effectively diagnose and treat his ADHD. Be wary if he or she wants to put your son on meds. At his age, he does not need to be putting artifical chemicals in his system. It's hard enough being a toddler without that! (Though, later, you may find medication is helpful in getting your son to focus on school work, etc.) That means you want to interview doctors as any employer would interview a prospective employee. (That is also a good standard for obtaining any new doctor.) Make sure the doctor is a good fit for your concept of treatment for your son. Discuss all options before you begin what can be a lifelong regimen of treatment.

You will also need to learn, not just how to be tolerant and patient with your son's excessive energy and habits, but how to handle issues like teaching him to clean up after himself, hang up his clothes, put something in the garbage ... My first advice on that is, make sure you are making eye contact when you make requests or mete out tasks. And don't overwhelm him with a multitude of duties at one time. At the age of three, one job at a time is about all he can probably handle. As he gets older, you may increase the task load but never exceed more than three tasks at a time. Three seems to be the magic number as far as attention span/retention is concerned, even as an adult.
Don't be surprised if you have to repeat requests several times but, if you make solid eye contact at the outset, you reduce the likelihood of the need for repeating yourself. And you will want to "quality control" to make sure the jobs got done, too. "Did you get your toys put away?" may have to be asked several times before the job is really complete.

For the future, you should also be aware that depression seems to go hand-in-hand with ADD conditions. This is, more likely than not, a result of the sense of failure instilled in those with ADD by a society lacking an understanding of the problems inherent therein. Happily, this situation is slowly turning around as more and more people become aware of the full spectrum of issues faced by ADDs.

Lastly, when your son starts school/pre-school, be sure to let the teachers, class assistants, pre-school workers, anyone else that may be working with him, that he is, in fact, ADD. Assemble information for them as to what to expect and how to deal with his particular symptoms.

I apologize for the voluminous response. ADD's tend to be perfectionists ... and very long-winded.

As you may have guessed, I, too, am ADD as are my son, my daughter, my grandson, my mother... probably more in the family tree than I realize. Some have chosen medication at some time in their lives, others have chosen self-medication (with predictably negative results). All of us are now non-medically controlled and, while some insist on ignoring the symptoms, others are behavior modification controlled. (I live and die by Post-It Notes and my phone/Palm organizer - my brain branch office.) So I have had a lot of experience with the effects, side-effects, and after-effects of the condition. I am also quite passionate about the fact that some, supposedly learned, medical professionals can still say such foolish things as, "It's not that I don't believe in it"! (You believe in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. You don't 'believe' in ADD anymore than you 'believe' in chicken pox! (And a pox on those who think otherwise.))

Good luck to you and your family and I wish you all the best.

Sounds VERY similar to my nephew who was finally diagnosed with food allergies (thanks to my sister's persistance that something was not right) When my nephew eats proper foods he is well mannered, well behaved, smart and very witty, but if he eats anything that is processed with preservatives or food dyes/coloring he is bouncing off the walls, won't listen, has a smart mouth and is generally unresponsive to any disipline. During these episodes my sister noticed that loud noises or too much visual stimulation (movies, tv, games, loud public places) just added to things and made them worse. It took a lot of patience to discover his allergies as they were not the typical "get sick, get the hives, rash or breathing problems" that a lot of food allergies have. Straightening out his diet made ALL the difference in the world! You may want to consider an allergy for your other son with red splotches and a fever too. That could be an allergy to food or a household irritant as well. Good Luck on both!

That is the age that my son started having problems. I recognized some sensory issues in addition to it, so specifically started asking about that. He has been in therapy for just over 6 months now and is a totally different child! His therapist is amazing.

My suggestion would be to seek out an occupational therapist for children that specializes in sensory integration disorder (aka sensory processing disorder) and have your son tested.

According to my son's therapist, many, many, many young children are misdiagnosed and labeled ADD or ADHD when it really is sensory issues to begin with, which therapy will help without medication.

Here is a link that talks more about the sensory issues: http://www.spdfoundation.net/aboutspd.html

im sure everyone on here will say 3 is too young to tell... well thats just wrong my daughter was just like your son and we are going to have her evaluated for adhd. like you we were give a diagnosis in a 15 min doc app. sorry im not going to take that just yet. if you are in louisville i recommend the bingham child guidance center. good luck

Hi-My 6 yr. old osn has been diagnosed with ADHD. He is on meds (Focalin) and is doind great. It's a very low dose and the change was immediate when he started on it. I do think 3 is young but why not start early. My son is very behind in school because he wasn't diagnosed earlier. He will have to repeat the 1st grade next year. Just for an example: spelling test-before meds, he never got more than 1 right, teh 1st week on meds made 100%!! He knew the words just never could get them to school and get them on paper. It made the teacher (and me) cry. The meds are not something that is required everyday. But on the days he doesn't take it I can really see a difference.
Get him help early and don't let him fall behind!

I have to disagree with your doctor's diagnosis. ADHD cannot be properly diagnosed at such a young age. Most physicians will not diagnose ADHD until age 6. Putting such a young child on psychoactive drugs is dangerous. Honestly, there's no telling what a "normal" activity level for a 3 year old is. My kids had the full range from nonstop activity to more of a couch potato. Perhaps he needs more directed play? One of my kids (the nonstop one) just needed help to focus his energy and needed more interaction. Oh, and ALL 3 year olds overreact when they're told NO. Get a babysitter or put him in tae kwon do or judo or something to relieve you, but don't resort to medication when there's no reason. Yet. Good luck!

I dont think any child this age should have ANY access to video games. Just my 2c.

He sound just like my 3yo daughter and most of her little 3yo friends. I would be leary of the ADHD diagnoses and please dont medicate him at such a young age. Theres something called hylands calm forte for kids that helps when my DD is out of control. Its completely natural made by the same people that make the teething tablets. Also removing red dyes and blue dyes from his diet can help as studies have shown those contribute to ADHD. If you do decide that you want to medicate him then make sure you take him to a pyschiatrist and get a proper diagnoses dont let your ped diagnose him based on behavior. Psychiatrists have tests they do to see if thats really the problem.

Until you really understand the chemicals that are put in our foods it is hard to "limit aggravating foods" for an ADHD child. I urge you to look at www.feingold.org for your answers. Feingold is a 30yr old non-profit organization whose purpose is to inform the public about petroleum-based artificial ingredients in our food supply. These harmful additives cause ADD, ADHD, OCD and many other behavioral, emotional and physical side effects. Feingold is a leading authority on this subject and has helped thousands of families over the years. They were a Godsend for our family. Best wishes.

Hi A.,

I read an article recently that mentioned a lot of kids were being misdiagnosed with ADHD when it turned out to only be a sleep issue. Once the sleep schedule was modified and the kids were getting more rest, the kids started doing a lot better and could avoid medication. Might be worth checking into to see if that could be ruled out for sure. Good luck and trust your instincts and 2nd opinions are definitely a worthwhile investment!

J.

First of all I am shocked a dr wound diagnose a 3 year old with ADHD. since medical terms it can only be diagnosed in school age children. Have you checked his diet?