3 Month Old Won't Take a Bottle at Daycare

My baby did the exact same thing but would not take the bottle from ANYONE ever. I had to go back to work at 3 months and she would just starve all day. She was very stubborn but finally began to take the bottle after a few weeks, and just a little bit at first. It about killed me, but she didn't lose weight and was OK. Making sure the bottle nipples were warm and small helped - but we tried everything and nothing made a huge difference. She was just stubborn and finally realized she wasn't going to win.

B.-
Hang in there! My daughter went back at 12 weeks, though it was only part-time. She had never taken a bottle before going to daycare, so I was really worried. After a week or so, of her only taking a little bit from a bottle (and giving the daycare 3 different bottles to try), she began to be comfortable and drink breastmilk from bottles. I still go every day at lunch to feed her myself. I do this for both of us--it breaks up the day and the time away from her. I definitely recommend you go over at least once a day--it feels wonderful, connects you two and unlike the bottle, they get the amount they actually want from breastfeeding. It seems like she always eats a lot at lunch. I then feed her again when I pick her up. If your boss is supportive--go for it! You won't be sorry for the time you spend with her. And ignore the guilt you feel after reading some of these responses--some people have to or want to work and it's okay. You are also very close, so maybe have them try a little harder one day and if he still won't take it after a bit, have them call you and go over. Each time, you can lengthen the time before you go. Hopefully he will feel comfortable soon (and hopefully like several people said below, the daycare person takes the time to feed the milk properly). Hang in there--it will get better. -J.

As a mom of three and a daycare provider, I have a few ideas. We have had several "bottle fighters" in our center. One child just needed to smell his mom, so she left us a "blankie" (could be a tshirt, pillowcase, or towel too) to lay over our shoulder when he ate. He would eat fitfully and sleep. Another child needed to be propped in a bouncer or carseat, out of sight of the one feeding her (we sat off to the side or behind the chair and held her bottle). If she couldn't see who was feeding her, she didn't descriminate and took her bottle much better. We have had several that just needed to be HUNGRY, which meant crying it out as well. This may sound harsh but it took squirting the breast milk out of the bottle into one childs crying mouth to give her a taste before she would latch on. All these children used Playtex drop in bottles with latex (brown) nipples, as they are very soft and must feel natural. Hope this helps!

B.,

I would keep going over to breastfeed as long as you can. Practically, it will keep your milk supply up so you can continue breastfeeding. Pumping does not provide the same amount of stimulation for your breasts, so while many mothers do very well at first, most moms who pump breastmilk stop doing so by the time baby is about 6-9 months old. The longer you can breastfeed your baby, the better his health (and yours!) will be. Emotionally, this also provides a great time when you guys can reconnect. It is very stressful for a baby to be separated from his mama. While you have to do what you have to do, these nursing breaks reassure him that you are there for him, and can also keep you from feeling disconnected from him during the day. As another poster said, nursing is about so much more than just getting food in the baby - it is about comfort, love and connection, and that is something that cannot be replaced.

As baby gets older, he will be able to be apart from you for longer periods. I know this tiny baby phase is INTENSE, but it does not last forever. Before you know it, he will be happily waving goodbye to you as he runs off to play!

Best,
S. L

Breast fed babies prefer to be breast fed. if you don't mind going over there and nursing him, then i'd say stay with it and enjoy a perk that few moms and babies get to have. babies get so much from the skin to skin contact with their mothers that it is probably really good for him that you can do this and helping ease his transition to being away from you during the day. i think it depends on what you want for you and for him. if you want to nurse for a while, nursing begets nursing. if extended nursing is not a goal, i would check out dr sears the baby book, there are recommendations in there for going to a bottle for going back to work. i will say that a nursing relationship is a precious thing and i wouldn't be in a hurry to end it, because when it's over it's over. it sounds like you have a good work situation, maybe you can keep "milking" it. :)

Yuck, going back to work full time is hard- I know, I just started back as well, although i'm fortunate enough to work only 3 days a week (12 hour shifts) and my daughter is with grandparents or my husband. First off, I just want you to know that you are not a bad mommy for working and that staying at home just isn't a possibility for some. Your son knows you love him and your working is not going to delay him or scar him for life (sometimes I wonder if it would be better if more parents stayed home when they had teenagers than with the babies...)
Your son is just getting used to new surroundings and people, it'll just take some time. Make sure the daycare is heating up the bottle enough- turns out my daughter likes the milk quite a bit hotter than we thought! Also, make sure he's hungry when they are trying to feed him, that they aren't simmply feeding on schedule/convenience, but that they also aren't letting him get so worked up waiting for the bottle that he's too mad to eat. Other than that, just keep taking your breaks to feed him after daycare has offered the bottle (he's too young to remember the cause/effect of "not eating brings mommy to my side"), enjoy these snipits with him during the day because I bet he'll start taking the bottle as he gets more comfortable there, and love on him at night! Oh- and send your amazing boss some chocolate for being so understanding!
Good luck!

Yes, babies need their mothers. I'm so glad to see that you are breastfeeding after returning to work. I'm telling you that that is what got me throught the time I had to work when my children were babies. I had to continue working when the first was born (went back at 4 months) and the second (went back at 3 months), but got to stay home when she was 6 months and on. The third has never known Mommy to work daily, and ironically, is the one who never objected to an occasional bottle (always breastmilk). My second child absolutely refused to take any bottle at daycare or anywhere for several weeks after I returned to work. (BTW-you might try a different bottle. My kids preferred the Playtex rounded nipples.)I ended up rushing over and nursing her just to get us through the day. Thank goodness I only had to work for 3 months more.
Keep up the good work, B.. You're doing the right thing. A great reference on all things baby is The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Very down to earth and realistic. Keep us posted.

If you go over, instead of nursing him give him the bottle. Feed him the whole bottle then leave. Next time, start him on the bottle then hand him over to someone else. Stay there while he finishes the bottle. Pat his head or something so he knows your there. Knows that you trust the person holding him. Next time go over, let the other person give him the bottle while you're there.

You might want to spend more than one time on each stage. This should comfort him and help him not need you there to eat. It should also only take 10 min of your day. After that if he still won't eat, I'd let him be hungry for a few days if he won't eat. He should be able to go 4-5 w/out eating and be ok at 3 months.

By all means keep taking breaks to breastfeed if you can. There is so much more your baby needs than just your milk and NO ONE can take your place to fill those needs.

I never had that problem with my daughter, she took to the bottle nicely. But I have been watching my friends little boy for her since she went back to work and he is very picky!! We tried about every kind of nipple we could buy and finally found one that he would take. and he also has to have it just the right temperature. You will need to just experiment and try different things. It took us about 3 months before I was not calling her to come and feed him. Good Luck!!

Try sleeping with a baby blanket to inffuse your smell on it. Be sure to use the same blanket for your feedings. Make sure the nipple of the bottle is the most similar to how you are shaped. You feed with the bottle a few times with the blanket. Then instruct your daycare provider to feed in a similar fashion to you with the blanket. The familar smells and routine should help.

I have a 3-month old that will only take a bottle at daycare and Grandma's . . . She will only take the Dr. Brown's bottles and my day care actually recommended them. Now if she would just take a bottle from my hubby so I can get out of the house by myself for more than a couple hours!! :-)

We had a similar problem with our little girl when I went back to work at 2 months. A lactation specialist and friend gave us a couple of tricks to try. One is to place a piece of cloth in your bra for a day then have the day car provider wrap the bottle with the cloth so it smells more like you. She also suggested facing our little girl away from the person giving the bottle so she isn't looking for her mommy. Ultimately for us our little one just had to get hungry enough and it involved some long crying sessions and a lot of patience. We also used high flow nipples at first so milk could be dripped into her mouth when she was freaking out. That helped calm her so she could eat. We then went back to low flow nipples so it would be more similar to breastfeeding. Now she will take a bottle. I have coworkers who suggested Nuk bottles because they have a different shaped nipple but time seemed to be the ticket for us. Best of luck.

Hi there! My son was the same way in refusing a bottle. I do stay home with him, but when he was around 3 months old I had left him with grandma while my husband and I went to dinner. When we got back my mother in law said that he would NOT take the bottle of breastmilk. So she gave it to him in a sippy cup and he did great! I had the NUBY sippy cups with handles. It worked for him, maybe it will work for your little guy! Good luck to you!

Hooray that you are using your own milk! What bottle nipple are you using? I suggest moms start with the Dr. Browns narrow neck bottle. It usually fits all the way in the baby's mouth, so his lips are rolled out nicely like when breastfeeding. Many breastfed babies prefer a bottle sitting up, facing away from the caregiver (so the baby is sitting in their hands, with the baby's back leaning back against the caregiver's chest). Some older babies also need some distracting to accept the bottle, like walking and bouncing with the bottle resting at his lips. Ususally within 10 minutes the baby will eat...and over the course of a week he might take it without delay.

Good for you for going over to feed him. If you can continue, that would be baby's first preference! But if you can't, try the above ideas. Some babies prefer to wait for mom, so maybe you could reduce going over for lunch time. I do think a week of the first suggestion might work, though. Good luck!

i would keep nursing him, but that's what i would do. i thnk your bond with him is more important than him learning to depend on daycare for food.

Hey
Have you tried the Dr Browns Breast Flow Bottles? They are much mork like the actual breast and it did the trick for my son. You can get them mostly anywhere now, Target, Babies R Us. etc. There kind of expensive and since I didnt need them much I only bought a few and some extra nipples! They worked on the spot!
Hope it helps!

T. B.
Team Leader
Bubble Goddess Bath Co
"Natural Bath Products For Your Inner Goddess"
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First of all, is your son still accepting a bottle from your husband or the grandparents? If he is, then I would question if the daycare provider is actually offering it to him when he is hungry. Also, if she is being patient and calm in offering it to him. If she is stressed about it, he may be feeling her stress.
I would also suggest that you give him a bottle yourself at least once a day. That way he doesn't just associate you with nursing. Assuming you work Monday-Friday, you might try it out on the weekend first to give him a few days before you have to work again.
I nursed my own five children for a year each, but gave them bottles when we went out in public. I usually started with bottles of diluted white grape juice. Once they learned that mom wasn't the only source of good things to drink, it made life much easier.
Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my daughter (she was six months), I would give her a bottle while I was at daycare and them pass her off while she had the bottle. After a couple of times she would start taking the bottle from her daycare provider. If he won't take a bottle from you maybe your husband can take him to daycare in the morning and give him a bottle. HTH!

My 5 month old will not take a bottle with any distractions! Even the dog walking by or my daughter kissing him on the head will make him stop eating. Is there any way the daycare workers can take him to a quite corner with little distractions to feed?

I would wait it out and see if he'll take the bottle. As my husband says, if he gets hungry enough he'll eat. As bad as that sounds it worked for us. I have a 10 week old and I just went back to work a few weeks ago. If he won't eat after about 4 hours or so then I would go ahead and breast feed again. Or you could also try leaving a shirt you've recently worn and have the care giver drape it over her shoulder when she trys to feed him. Hope this helps.

When I went back to work, my baby wouldn't take a bottle at day care either. The Sitters suggestion was for us, The parents, to sleep with something, a birp cloth, a blanket, something that we could then send to day care. By sleeping with it, it smelled like us. The sitter would then put the blanket or cloth between her and my baby and she took the bottle every time. It might just be the baby isn't used to it. I also left every once in a while to nurse my baby and it was harder on the day care. When she finaly started takeing the bottle, it was better for them and better for the baby (definatly harder for me) when I quit going to nurse her and they could feed her on demand rather than wait for my schedualed breaks. In the end it was better for my baby to get used to being with them all day and not have me interupt that bonding time. I hope this helps!

if your little one doesn't adjust to the changeof daycare soon, you might consider this. my daughter refused breast milk in a bottle, but she was perfectly happy taking formula in a bottle. it worked out for her because she wasn't gaining enough weight on breast milk, and did much better on formula. but you might consider trying formula just to see if your son will take it.

Your baby is so young to be in daycare. :( He needs you, his mommy, to nurse him because it is feeding more than just his tummy. It feeds his whole being for mommy to hold and nurse him. That's how babies and mommies are made. If there is any way you can put stop working full time, or work part time, or work at home - anything that would keep you with your baby for most, if not all, of the day, until he is at least one or two years old, it would be so much better for your baby and for you. I hope you will give it some thought. If you choose to continue working full time, I would definitely recommend that you keep taking nursing breaks with your baby. (Your boss deserves kudos for being understanding about this!) Your baby will be a baby for such a short time; give him what he needs, which is you! :)

Are they warming the bottle at the daycare? If they are trying to feed him cold milk he may not take it. I've experienced this with other children when I worked in the daycare scene. Good luck

Sleep with one of his blankets (a recieving blanket is fine) so that it smells like you. Have the daycare provider lay it by his face or over his face, the way you would hold a blanket over him while nursing, and then offer the bottle. Ther other thing, I would stop going over to nurse him and let him get hungry. He will take the bottle. Hopefully you won't end up with the opposite problem and have him go on a nursing strike..lol. But he won't starve. Babies are self preservers. He will take the bottle when he is hungry enough. It might be the change that's causing him to refuse the bottle. Nursing is very comforting to a baby. It's very close to Mom, and he might be really missing that. It's great that you have an understanding boss and are able to go and nurse him, but I would hold off on that for a while. He will take the bottle. Both of my kids switched back and forth quite easily. They even had pacifiers. But I've been doing daycare for quite some time and have had some difficult babies who don't want the bottle! But those are the suggestions I have for you. The blanket that smells like Mom has worked the best for me. Take it home every day and sleep with it so it always smells like you. Good luck!