3Rd Baby and Trouble with Breastfeeding, Please Help!!

Updated on January 28, 2010
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
19 answers

Hey ladies! I'm going to make this as short and sweet as possible... I had NOOOO problem nursing my first 2 children when they were infants... this time, I feel like breastfeeding was dooming from the start. My son had to get his frenulum clipped because it was too far forward (which is pretty common, he has had no side effects and is able to nurse). He lost 10% of his body weight the first week home because my milk hadn't come in 10 days after delivery... I bawled my eyes out the first time I gave him a bottle, because i KNEW i wasn't giving him enough, he was starving, he sucked the bottle down in SECONDS... one month later, and I'm still not producing enough! I will feed him on both sides, then pump what's left... it's never much, maybe 2 oz from both breasts. My son refuses to take a bottle from ME and only me... I've been supplementing with formula... I just want to be able to breastfeed my baby!! I drink tons of water and maintain a healthy diet... I honestly think the stress of everyday life is hindering my ability to lactate... any suggestions?? Or has anyone been through this?? Looking for anything to help me feel a little better :( THANKS LADIES!!

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I would not believe the responses from everyone... I wish I had the time to write to everyone and personally thank them. Just the kind words and encouragement gave me the boost I needed (SERIOUSLY NEEDED) to maintain my confidence to continue to breastfeed. For a week I continued to pump after feeding the little guy, and supplemented with formula only when absolutely necessary. My persistance paid off... he will finally take a bottle from me when he has to! But best of all, my milk supply is up up up... We went to the pediatrician today and he's gained 3 1/2 pounds in 2 weeks, so something is working! AND he's finally starting sleeping at night!... he'll wake up once around 3am or so, then he's asleep until we're all up in the morning. Thank you all sooooo much for all the encouragement, stories, and suggestions, it all helped SO MUCH! THANKS :)

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

R.:

You are doing GREAT!! Now, you NEED/MUST remember this - YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!

Stress is the #1 reason our bodies will not produce milk (as well as keep us from getting pregnant). You need to quit stressing over this. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!

The other issue - too much water - yes, too much water can deplete your milk supply. Eight (8) glasses should suffice. Avoid caffeine, or at least decrease the intake as caffeine can dehydrate you.

Pumping after nursing is GREAT!!! Now, to get your milk supply up - pumping every two (2) hours.

Take that deep breath! You are a GREAT mom!! You are doing great - stop stressing over this. Enjoy your time with your children - relax! You will be amazed at how much your body will change when you relax!!

Best regards!

Cheryl

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

Yes stress can hinder lactation. Your own thoughts are adding to the stress of having a new baby. I teach stress reduction. Some stress management tools: daily exercise, yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, laughter, deep breathing and an effective technique called Emotional Freedom Technique or energy tapping. You are going through an emotional time and will help to dispel negative feelings like worry & fear.It can work rapidly and you can learn the basics online or in a class. emofree.com is a good site for more info.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you see a certified LC? Maybe a supplemental nursing system will help. kellymom.com is also a goo resource. I'd rent a hospital grade pump or get one like the ameda ourley yours or medela freestyle or pump in style for long term use.

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M.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I feel you. I had supply problems too. I used Fenugreek and went to LLL meetings. Tried everything to increase my supply. Read everything on the internet. etc. You HAVE to have a good pump and try "power pumping" 10 minutes on 10 minutes off, 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off. I work from home and my DD was at daycare. I used a hands free pumping bra at my desk and would try to pump as much as possible. 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off, over and over.

At first I though I wasn't suppose to pump more than every 3 hours. I went through a nursing strike when she was only 10 weeks olds. Power pumping helped me increase my supply. We made it. Shes 29 months and still nursing :P

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L.D.

answers from Washington DC on

my third, was perfectly healthy but by 2 months he was diagnosed with failure to thrive. I had done everything the same as far as i knew but my Dr. said that with third children often we are doing so much other than nursing that the milk supply just can't keep up. I had to slow down cut somethings from my life and just focus on my baby. I also took the liquid supplement "More Mothers Milk", you can find online or Wholefoods. Also the pumping after each feeding should help increase your supply. Please allow yourself to feed a bottle as needed too. I had to remind myself that as much as I wanted to breastfeed, what I really wanted was to have a healthy baby and supplementing with formula is not failure it is caring for your baby.
God Bless
L.

T.B.

answers from Chicago on

R., good for you for trying so hard to nurse your baby. It's not always easy, but you should be proud of your efforts. I would strongly suggest talking to your MD this week and getting some bloodwork done. I had a horrible problem with my thyroid after my son was born, and that can affect milk supply. Maybe something else is going on for you medically that you can get help with.
Also, I saw a great lactation consultant who helped me too. There are a lot of foods (like oatmeal) that can stimulate your body to make more milk. Have you tried Mother's Milk supplement? You can get it online or at a Whole Foods/ natural food store. It has fenugreek in it and that can really help (I will warn you that it will make you smell a bit like maple syrup), but it helps. Also, my lactation consultant had me take Calcium supplements because my supply would drop every month during my period. It really helped me out. Just something to keep in mind down the road.
Please get some help from your doctor and a lactation consultant so that you can figure out the issue and help your baby get that special mama milk only you can give him. Hang in there, you're doing great.

Hugs,
T.
Barefoot Books Ambassador
www.ReadandGrow.com

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

while i may not have an answer, i do have a suggestion. I have the PLAYTEX EMBRACE DELUXE DOUBLE ELECTRIC BREAST PUMP SYSTEM with all the parts and accessories, i have all the bottles and liners and equipment that comes with it AND IT NEEDS A HOME. MY other half purchased the system for $130 from target right after we delivered our baby in early december, if i can get $100 firm for it, i will happy. because, i am now on "the pill" and cant breastfeed. so, drop me an email and let me if you are interested and we can go from there. i live in chesterfield,
my number is ###-###-####
thanks
K. h.

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C.H.

answers from Flagstaff on

I know what you are going through, except with me it was my first 3 boys I could breastfeed enough. With my last son, I'm fully breastfeeding with no supplements. This time, I've doing ON Demand feeding, leaving him on as long as he wants and I've used this product http://motherlove.com/product_more_milk_special.php to help boost my milk. I've also prayed about it, because that is my faith to do so. Also, it may seem silly, but when I am bfing, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and think "more milk". Early on, when I felt my 4th son wasn't getting enough, I supplemented him using a SNS, so my body would know he wanted more, but he was getting it from the SNS. I hope this helps.

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

I had to go through "relactation" because my son was an inefficient feeder (very sleepy)and I was slightly anemic. It took over a month of pumping, supplementing and changing my diet before I was able to produce enough milk. I don't know if it would have taken that long knowing what I know now about breastfeeding. Some of the books briefly mention "relactation", and note that it may take longer than say, if you have a temporary drop in supply.

I took a lot of fenugreek, but I can't say with certainty whether that is what helped in the end. Persistence and prayer helped most of all. Frequency of pumping/nursing and using a rented Medela Symphony helped greatly during this time. After I had relactated, I discovered my supply dropped when I went for long stretches at night without nursing - then I started pumping at night and my supply returned within a week.

After 6 months and my supply dropping several times for this same reason,I decided to try Domperidone. It started working in 4 days, but took several weeks for a more pronounced effect. Check out Dr. Jack Newman's website for more detailed info. It feels great to finally get my mind off of my boobs :). Good Luck!

K.A.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R., It sounds like you've tried everything you can to breastfeed your baby. What are you doing for yourself? It's hard not to compare this experience with the other two, but every one is different, and the goal is to find the joy in this next go around. I was disappointed when I realized I had to supplement in addition to breastfeeding my dd #2. Fourtunately for me, she didn't mind taking a bottle to "top off" after nursing. She LOVED nursing (still does at 15 mo--even if it's more for comfort than nutrition), so the supplementing never interfered with her desire to nurse, and I was comfortable knowing that she was getting a full belly with each feeding and I swear my milk actually came in more when I allowed myself to do this. I'm sure it was the stress of what "successful" breastfeeding was supposed to be to me/society that was getting me so worked up. Don't let that happen! Do what is best for your baby and YOU in THIS experience and enjoy it! Good luck!

J.R.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry it's so difficult. Ask your ob about dompiridone. It's a medicine that it perfectly safe to take as long as you are wanting to nurse. It made a WORLD of a difference for me and my daughter. I saw an increase in my supply within 2 days I'd say it almost doubled after a week on it. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. It definitely took the stress out of it and would highly recommend it.

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

Wow you have really had a rough start! You are right that BFing is the best thing! Have you tried using a supplumentor that you tape to your breasts? Sorry I can't remember the name of it right now. That will help with your supply.

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L.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Fenugreek will make you smell like maple syrup but its worth it. Don't freak out when you start smelling your armpits and wonder how syrup got on you there, lol. It's just the Fenugreek =-)

There is a pill version and a tea version. I used both when my son was 3 months and I thought I wasn't producing enough for him. I broke down and lost it and was very upset at myself for causing the issue, so I thought, by supplementing too much. Everything was fine though, he was just ramping up for his growth spurt and his demand had increased. So of course there is some flux with the supply and demand but Fenugreek helped me get back on course with a lot less tears.

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E.S.

answers from Richmond on

I was not producing enough and was having to supplement too. My lactation consultant and the nurses at the hospital both recommended Fenugreek (a herb you you buy in pill form - I bought at GNC). I took for 10 days and never had to supplement again.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R.,

First thing...know that you are doing the best you can. One thing that you already said that you know is possibly hindering your milk flow is STRESS. Stress does seriously affect ones milk production. When my son was an infant, I also had trouble producing milk. He was exclusively breastfed & I'm a vegan so introducing formula was my VERY last resort. Thankfully, I received some information about herbal remedies. Increasing your water, as you've already mentioned, is definitely a very good thing to do. If you can, eat at least a bowl of oatmeal each day. You can also eat fennel seeds. I used to take whole seeds by mouth by the teaspoonful (about 2 a day). It wasn't that pleasant...but not too bad either - and my breath sure was fresh! Also, the main thing that seemed to help was the herb fenugreek. You can find it ground and in capsules. I ended purchasing it ground and filling my own veggie-caps. I was instructed to take anywhere from 6-12 capsules a day - until you begin to smell like maple syrup. Yes...you will actually smell sweet like syrup. It was kind of intoxicating for my husband! Anywho - I did all of these things along with getting more water & rest while maintaining a proper diet AND pumping every chance I could. After he fed at the breast...at night right after he went to sleep...in the middle of the day. Whenever I could. And while I was still home with him, I made sure to put him to the breast every 2 hrs. on the clock. After all of this, I wouldn't say that I got to a place where my milk was spilling all over the place, but these things certainly got my milk up to a much better production level. My son was able to be exclusively breastfed for the first 7 months of his life. I wish you the best with your baby - I'm sure everything will work out for you.

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M.L.

answers from Columbus on

Have you tried using the initial phase of the pump that stimulates the nipples more often, not when your baby feeds, to help your body think it needs to produce more milk. Call the La Leche league, or your local hospital lactation consultant. They should be able to answer any questions you have and help you produce more milk. They are the experts. Let them help you clear your mind to know you are doing the best you can for your baby. Good Luck!

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K.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R.,
I'm so sorry to read of your trouble with breastfeeding! I am wondering if you have had a blood test to check your hormone levels?
You seem very informed about the benefits of breastfeeding and the lifestyle that goes along with it; it's the only thing I can think of for a healthy, consiencious, experienced Momma. I do hope you find the answer and would love to stay abreast (no pun:) of your progress!
Sincerley,
Kim
Annapolis, MD

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C.H.

answers from Washington DC on

have you tried renting a hospital pump? they are much better at maintaining/establishing a milk supply. i am having a somewhat similar situation and rented one today. keeping my fingers crossed! good luck.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

poor stressed mom. i'm so sorry this is happening. but you ARE breastfeeding your baby! if you are nursing him at all you get to enjoy that time with him, and by supplementing you know that he is getting enough all round to meet his needs. PLEASE try to appreciate yourself for how terrific this is, and don't fritter away precious baby time by stressing over something that is not your fault and that is not negatively impacting his life in any way at all.
khairete
S.

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