4 Year Old Boy Prefers Girly Clothing

With the exception of bras and jock straps, there is no such thing as "boy clothes" and "girl clothes." A boy in a dress is no more "wrong" than a girl in jeans.
There is no such thing as "boy toys" and "girl toys." There are just toys and kids.
Growing up, my daughter wore tutus - and jeans.
She wore tiaras - and trucker hats.
She played house - and baseball.
She worshiped Princess Jasmine - and Batman.
And it was all good, and she grew up to be perfectly fine.

Girls clothes are way more fun than boy clothes. Can't say I blame him for preferring the girl stuff.

When my boy dressed as a superhero, I didn't worry he'd try to fly.
When my boy dressed as a villain, I didn't worry he'd rob a bank.
When my boy dressed as a dog, I didn't worry he'd lift his leg at a tree.
When my boy dressed as a lion, I didn't worry he'd attack people and tear them to shreds.
When my boy dressed as a girl, I didn't worry he'd become a transvestite or turn gay.

What do you want to teach him. To enjoy what he enjoys? Or to change to please others? I'd rather my kids stand strong to teasing. If he's not reacting, you're going to teach him to by overreacting on his behalf. Leave him alone - he's exploring his world in a healthy, happy way.

Mine is 5 and he still likes girl stuff. As a matter of fact, he's wearing a tutu right now while playing with a truck. He knows he's a boy. He's never asked to be a girl, other than to pretend he's a princess sometimes. And not one kid in either his preschool or his new kindergarten has ever made fun of him. They all love him. Because he can play with the girls doing "girl" stuff and with the boys doing "boy" stuff.

What generally irks me adults' responses to our own and other kids. Why is my son wanting to play with costumes and dolls some strange thing when no one bats an eyelash at a girl wearing a Spiderman shirt? No one looked twice at the girl who came to my son's Jake and the Neverland Pirates birthday party dressed in full on Jake costume, nor at the girl in his gym class who has never worn anything but boys clothes.

The older kids are the ones with the bigger problem than the little guy, IMO. I would let him play with what he wants. Either he'll stick with it or he'll drop it when he's older. If your DH has trouble with it, ask him why? If your son is gay or transgendered, stuffing him in a football uniform isn't going to change that. I think your explanation that some boys don't want to play with those toys is fine. Some girls don't want to play with them, either. My DD was just playing with an allosaurus and a rubber rat. Give your son words to defend himself and if there are kids who are bullying him at daycare, I would also talk to the director or teacher about what you heard and noticed.

ETA: BGE - exactly! Nobody cares when DD wears her Spiderman socks or T-Rex shirt, but if her best boy buddy wants a pink balloon at her birthday party people think he's weird? I wonder if any studies have been done about whether or not such play might indicate that the boy grows up to be kind, nurturing and a good family man.

I'm almost afraid to touch this question because it's a super sensitive subject. To me, it sounds like he's just not conforming to typical gender roles. My husband and I made a point to have boy and girl toys for both our children, and they both played with everything. My son still plays house with my daughter, and my daughter will play "army" with my son. Honestly, it sounds like you and your husband need to think about why this is bothering you both so much.

Girl toys are shiny. The skirts have sparkles and beautiful colors on them. They capture the imagination!!
When I worked retail I can not tell you how many little boys I would hear oooh and aawwww over the beautiful sparkly women's clothes.
What's the problem? Teach him to be confident in himself. Don't make him conform to what the mean kid's ideas of normal are.
Girls play superheroes and soccer too.
Your poor kid is 4. lets not give him a complex.

Well, what I tell my daughter is there is no such thing as girl toys and boy toys, just toys. She plays with whatever she wants, dresses in whatever she wants. Your kid is four, he's playing with what seems fun at the time. When my aunt was little, she wanted to be a boy when she grew up. Now she wears dresses almost every day and is fine being a girl. But kids are kids. They like to experiment and dress up and play. Don't impose your sense of what "boys" do and what "girls" do on the kid and just let him be a kid.

No worries, my daughter plays hockey on an all boys team AND she wears a jock strap.

Her favorite color is pink and she played dress up in tutus and tiara's until she no longer fit in the tutus. We never sold her halloween costumes because she wore every one of them all year. They were various princess costumes.

I just looked out the window and every kid is out there riding scooters bikes and skating. She is wearing roller blades, shin guards, elbow pads, and a hockey helmet. I think she is supporting her friend who is learning how to skate and also has a helmet on.

Personally, I think we asked for this. In the 80's I wanted to sell auto parts because I could and I needed more money. I was turned down for being a girl and yes, that is what they said to me. In the 90's, I started seeing girls change motor oil.

I have always been a break the glass ceiling type person, however, when it comes down to it, I can't be that way without excepting or embracing what this has done for a feminine man.

Then do what the rest of us do, Junior, kids are going to pick on you, don't play with girl stuff around other kids. You wouldn't let him pick his nose in front of the class because it makes him happy would you? I know it isn't the same thing but in a way it is, these are things kids are going to pick on other kids for because they are kids. So tell him the truth. Don't play all PC and get your kid hurt.

When I was little I didn't want to wear shirts because the boys didn't and it is hot out. Thankfully my parents pointed out that I would be teased. After all, I grew up, and I would have been very hurt had they let me get teased for something so stupid.

Let him be who he is. Last time I checked toys did not have gender, there are no such things as "girl toys" and "boy toys", these are just imaginary ideas our society set in place, and more and more people are finally seeing that forcing gender stereotypes onto our children does more damage then good.

Let nature take its course, mom. He'll grow out of this unless he's different. Lots of little boys are like this, and they grow out of it. Your husband needs to understand that "having a rough time of it" will NOT make this go away. Loving your son for what he is will instead raise him to be confident in who he is inside of himself.

Also stop letting your heart break when the other kids make fun of him. This is the best way for him to get past this phase. There are kids who go to kindergarten sucking their thumbs. There are kids who pick their noses like they're digging for gold. What nixes these habits? Not mom and dad griping and fussing. Other kids making fun of them.

He is 4 years old. Stop being upset, both of you. There are so many other things in this world to worry about and this isn't one of them.

Well, there is a 90 percent chance this is just a phase, and he'll grow up with a secure boy identity. Assuming that happens, it will do him no harm to go through a brief "pink" phase. It will just help him to value and respect the women in his life.

And then, there's a 10 percent chance he'll grow up to be gay, and/or that he'll have a nonconforming gender identity.

And guess, what. You have no control over this, either way. It's a roll of the genetic dice; it has nothing to do with whether he's allowed to express himself or whether his self-expression is repressed. What you CAN control is how loving and accepting a parent you are.

If you love and accept him no matter what, he will (most likely) grow up to be a straight man who loves and accepts women and who treats LGBT people (and everyone who's different in any way) with respect. Or, he'll be a gay man who accepts and respects himself and is a role model to everyone around him.

If you choose NOT to be a loving and accepting parent, then, well, none of these good things will come to pass. I'm not going to go into the various doomsday scenarios, but they are ... bad.

In terms of teasing, the kids who need to change are the kids who are teasing, not your son. Please don't teach him to be intimidated to the point of hiding who he is. Teach him to stand up for himself, loud and clear. Sign him up for karate. And, just as important, teach him to use humor and get the bullies on his side.

My own son went through a phase at 5 where everything had to be pink. So, we got him a pink scooter and a pink booster seat. Now, at 7, he has a very secure boy identity -- and he's a confident kid. He's not really a sports kid, but he's all about Ninjago and Harry Potter. I really think that respecting his play choices helped build that confidence.

At his age, it means nothing other than that he is exploring the world and using his imagination. My son also went through a phase of girly dress-up around this age. Some days he was the knight. Other days he was the princess. (Some days his big sister was the knight. Other days she was the princess.) He thought sparkly things were pretty. He wore Mardi Gras beads ever day. He played with dolls. He also played with trucks. So did his sister.

At nine, he is 100% all boy. (For that matter, at 4 he was 100 % all boy.) He has never once declared that he would rather be a girl. He is happy in his own skin.

Please be careful not to make more of his current play preferences than what is there. Do you want to teach your child that there is something wrong or inferior about being a girl? That will affect how he relates to women for the rest of his life.

As for other kids, mocking him, that is a different issue, mainly THEIR issue. If it's happening at daycare, it really should be addressed by the caregivers.

Gender roles are defined by society and stereotypes are meant to be broken. My son (same age as yours) had been walking around since last week with a heart bracelet that he picked out of the prize box after being good. My husband, matter of factly, pointed out it was a girl’s bracelet, my son shrugged his shoulders and said “ok”. Use this as a teaching moment regarding individuality and teasing. It is OK to be an individual and teasing is never ok ect

How to decide if a toy is for girls or boys.
Do you operate the toy with your genitals?
Yes: This is not a toy for children.
No: This to is for either girls or boys.

Seriously though...The fact that the daycare let him wear the costume and didn't approach you with a concern should let you know that it's totally "normal" behavior.

Have you asked him why he likes princesses? My son loved (and still loves) all things princess, mermaid, or fairy. He is also really into super heroes so when he gets a happy meal for a special treat, he spends a couple of minutes looking at the toy choices to decide if he wants the "girl" or "boy" toy. He'll happily tell you if you if you bother to ask that he finds them beautiful, and hopes he meets one so they can fall in love and live happily ever after in her kingdom. It has nothing to do with wanting to BE a princess/mermaid/fairy.

Wow, I love Veronica's response.

Get this book at the Library or buy your own copy. Invaluable lessons in the book and it will help you all. Also, your husband should get a grip for the child's sake (I am certainly not saying it might be easy for him, but just that he must).

My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis

http://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Cheryl-Kilodavis/dp...

I have a lovely daughter, and we read this once a week to foster our empathy and acceptance of everyone and their wonderful uniqueness in this fantastic world. I also explain to her that just like we want to EAT a variety of foods to stay healthy, we want to HAVE a variety of people in the world. And that like how animals come in all colors and shapes and sizes, so do people, it is natural and a GOOD THING!

I think you're doing just fine, letting him play with whatever he wants, but also explaining that some other boys are afraid to play with things that we consider to be girl things, so they may try to make fun of him.

I think there IS such a thing as girl stuff and boy stuff and I like it that way. Girls in our society can wear frilly pink dresses, boys do not. It's the way it IS!!! There is nothing wrong with a boy playing with things that are girl things, or vice versa, but to say that there aren't "girl toys" and "boy toys" would be incorrect.

Coach your son on what to say when they make fun of him. Have him tell the other boys "I'm playing make-believe, and in make believe I can pretend to be a princess because I have a really good imagination. When I'm done, I'll be a boy again."