4 Year Old Not Pooping on Potty

Since he's 4 and knows where you expect him to poop I would show him the diapers and say, "When these are gone there's no more. What does that mean?" If he says he will have to poop in the potty agree and say, "That's right!" If he says he doesn't know or that you'll need to get more tell him, "No, there's no more to buy, no more diapers, you'll have to use the potty to poop in." Show him how many diapers are left each time he uses one so there's no surprise. Also make sure you have him take the poopie diaper he uses and dump the poop in the toilet to reinforce that poop goes in the toilet, and have him flush it away.

When they're gone do NOT give in and buy more if he wails for some. Tell him he knew there would be no more and there isn't. Make using the potty/toilet HIS responsibility, no reminding him to go or taking him, he needs to own it. If he poops in his pants have him dump the poop in the toilet and flush it, rinse his undies in the sink and scrub them with a bar of soap, put them and any dirty bottoms in the dirty laundry, and get in the shower and wash the mess off himself with soap. Make sure it takes awhile so he misses being away from playing or watching TV, you want to impress upon him that it's easier to use the potty/toilet to poop in.

If you have a washer and dryer in your home you can also tell him he used the last clean undies (hide any clean ones) and tell him he needs to wait for you to do the laundry so he can have new ones and get dressed. Inconvenience him as much as possible without making a fuss or criticizing him for pooping in his pants, just say something matter-of-fact like, "Oh, you pooped in your pants, you need to clean your underwear and wash yourself up." Of course you can supervise but it's his to do.

I recently came across a new (to me) way to use a reward for getting a child to poop in the potty. Find out what HIS power reward is, (this I did know) something that means something to him, not the boy down the street, as each child is different. Ask him what would help him to remember to use the potty to poop in and buy it. Have it ready so when he successfully poops in the potty and not his pants, on his own without you reminding or taking him, and allow him to use it for 30-60 minutes. YOU retain ownership of it, he earns the privilege of using it rather than a new possession, and therefore he still has an incentive to keep pooping in the potty rather than his pants, which he wouldn't if he owned it.

Hang in there, L., and hopefully he'll see soon it's better for him to use the potty than his pants!

When he tells you he has to poop and asks for a diaper, put him in the bathroom. Calmly tell him he can poop in the toilet, and when he is done he may come out. Let him know the diapers are too small for him now and they don't come any bigger, he's a big boy and he can do it. Walk away. If you do not give him a diaper he will go in the toilet when he knows you mean it and that's just the way it goes now. He is 4 which is very developmentally capable.

Well, I would not give him the option of having diapers on, so the diapers just need to go - no pull-ups either. If he makes a mess in his underpants, he has to help clean them up. Offer a small treat for going on the potty, and as he does it more consistently, offer bigger rewards for going 3 times in a row with no mess in the pants, etc. Also make sure he is not running into any constipation issues. That became a problem with my daughter who didn't want to poop on the potty either - she kept trying to hold it in, then it would hurt coming out, then she was even more reluctant to go. I had to put her on Miralax for a short time to make the poops softer and easier to pass and to get her over her fear of going on the potty. As she got rewarded for going on the potty, and we praised her for being so brave and such a big girl, she got better about it.

I think that boys can think that poop (as opposed to pee--which is visible for them--not so 'mysterious') is "part of them" and need to know what it is, how it comes out, etc. Let him take a look at his--a-hem--working parts.
The book Once Upon a Potty (boy version) is really good too.

You can also have him try to sit backwards on the toilet--I think they feel safer and more secure that way--my son did. The can balance by putting their hands on the tank...

Maybe you do need a "jumping off point" -- no more diapers AND a good explanation AND letting him take the lead?

My daughter was like this also. The whole "all the diapers are gone and we're not getting more" line never worked for us. What I finally had to do was weaning. Let him wear a diaper but he has to sit on the potty with it on, then move to laying a diaper across the potty but not fastening it on to him. Next we went to a paper towel across the seat, then to toilet paper across the seat, and finally she was able to go by herself. It sounds crazy, but hey, it's what we had to do. We had spoke with her Dr and other specialists about the issue and no one was able to help us. Her Dr. loved how we handled it. Good luck. I feel your pain.

This may be a long shot but worth mentioning since my son was the same way. It was so frustrating for me, changing diapers at that age is hard to deal with.

It turned out that my son felt a lot of pain while pooping because his stools were a bit hard. It was less painful for him to poop in a diaper than on his toddler potty. I could tell he looked like he was having a hard time by the look on his face. His doctor suggested giving him stool softener. It took a little while, but it did the trick! I was thinking about all the things that are going thru your mind (wondering what I did wrong or what I said, etc.) and it turned out it had nothing to do with any of those.

You can buy it over the counter at any drug store. It's a powder that you can mix into anything he drinks. Good luck! Hope it works!!!