Hi, I have a 5yr daughter who does not like to sleep alone. She says she is afraid to. I let her now that she is not alone that mom/dad and brother are all here and there is nothing to be afraid of. She wakes up at the least little sound. It is not her room, since I have changed it around and even switched from Dora to Princeses. If we go on vacation she is fine and sleeps thur the night. This is either because her schedule is all different or she is sleeping with me (my husband sleeps with our son). I am hoping she will grow out of this when she starts school full time in Sept. But what can I do to get her to sleep thur the night.
H.,
My daughter has a CD player in her room (it's the princess CD player/jewelry box). At night we play a princess music CD (it's the songs from the Disney princess movies) for her once. She's asleep before the CD ends.
We started this as a noise maker and to give her something to focus on to relax. It works like a charm. We don't take it with us when we travel but she still goes to sleep without any trouble.
Good luck! :)
I also have experienced this - twice! I personally don't think there is anything wrong with letting them sleep with you. My older bad sleeper is 12 and she NEVER sleeps with us now! :) My younger one is 6 and we still have the same problem you do. She doesn't like to sleep alone because "she wants a warm body to sleep with and stuffed animals are not the same." We have tried fans, lights, stuffed animals, telling her to go to bed in her bed (she does - then wakes up in the night and comes into ours), locking our door (she cries or goes into her brother's bed, which we do not like so we don't lock the door anymore), etc. If you are comfortable with your children sleeping together, try putting them both in the same bed (not yours). This worked for our 6 year old until our 12 year old wanted her own space. Also, you could try going out of town for a few days. With our older one we went on a cruise when she was four (granny watched the kids). She has not slept in our bed since. This was definitely the funnest solution for us as well. :)
Good luck and know that at the very least you are not alone!
Maybe try giving her a flashlight to keep next to her bed. If she is waking up in the middle of the night, this might relieve some anxiety of not being able to see things. THis was a problem I had when I was young...active imagination!!!! Good luck!
Most people do wake several time during the night (I have read) but the key is getting back to sleep. MAybe if she gets used to staying in her own bed she won't wake up as fully as if she if calling for you or coming to your room, if this is what she is doing.
You and your husband need to quit sleeping with the kids like as of way long ago! What is that for? Try instead some consistency and put them in their individual beds, walk away, and continue to put them in their beds alone, without a word, until they stay put and go to sleep.
What you're doing is creating an unhealthy situation, and your kids will take hold of the controls, you'll end up there forever instead of them learning to fall asleep without you or hubby.
either a white noise machine or even a fan going can make some light noise.
You might try one of those white noise machines. You can get them at Bed Bath and Beyond. My daughter has used one and it has helped alot with her 5 year old and 2 1/2 year old. They go to sleep with it on and leave it on all night. It is quiet yet it blocks out all those little noises that seem to wake up toddlers. Good luck!
I would suggest the 2 of them share a room. My boys share a room and love it. They are eachothers security blanket. as soon as the my second son is 6 we will loft him and move the baby in
I know some people will disagree with this response, but here is what we did. My daughter now 6 and my son now 4 were moved into bunk beds in one room and toys put in the other about two years ago. We have a small house and a toy room seemed to make a lot more sense than two seperate bedrooms. My son did not want to go to sleep in his own room. I think he thought his sister was up having fun. Anyway, since the switch, my daughter is no longer afraid of monsters in her room, and my son goes right to sleep. I realize that this arrangement will have to end in the future, but at their ages my husband and I don't see a problem with it.
Just thought I would share the idea, it may help your family as well.
H.,
I agree with the other mom's, your children need to learn how to sleep in their own rooms and stay there during the night unless they are truly terrified from a bad dream.
Your children also need to learn how to sleep on their own even on vacation. Do you both go to bed at the same time your children do? What about your adult time? You both need to spend time together without children around, as well as time with other adults without your children under foot.
My son (6) has been afraid of monsters in his room and nothing we could do could completely satisfy him that the room was monster-free until I thought of using "crystals" to protect the doorway and windows. I picked up some of the pretty glass blobs from the craft store. They are different colors and I told our son they are magical and keep all bad things out of his room, only good things can come into his room. I put one on either side of the doorway and one in each window. Since that night he has not had any problems with monsters in his room. He also has not been afraid to go upstairs during the day to his room.
Lately I have been seeing other "crystals" around the house: at the bottom of the stairs, near his playroom, etc.
You said your daughter wakes up at the smallest sound, you might want to try a box fan in her room to drown out little noises. We use one during the summer because my son's room looks down on our neighbors pool. His son is 14 and hangs out with friends and girls late into the evening during the summer. The fan helps to keep my son from hearing the majority of the noise the next-door kids generate.
I hope these ideas help.
White noise machine! my 5 yr old is a light sleeper and he also has a very vivid imagination! so we bought a white noise machine and we talk about the good dreams he will have that night and most of the times it works!
Hi H.
I have an 8 year old boy, 7 year old girl and 8 month old baby girl. As much as I wanted to let my older kids sleep with us at night...I never did/never will because I was afraid to start a tough 'habit' to break. And so far, we are keeping the same routine with my 8 month old. My son has come into my room in the middle of the night 2-3 times EVER from being spooked, but he always wants to go back in his own bed because he has grown up happy and comfortable in his own room. My older daughter, however, used to get really scared at about 5 years old and was constantly trying to sleep in our bed. I know it may sound cruel to some moms, but I never let her (again, didn't want to start a habit that was hard for her to break). Instead, we put a VERY BRIGHT (but safe) nightlight in her room and helped her fall to sleep by sitting in her room. Noises were never a problem for her, but I know sound machines are a great way to provide some white noise and drown out the 'scary' noises your daughter may hear by finding a soothing noise. After a few months for my daughter, the nightlight was able to dim down a bit and she is a great sleeper now. She still likes me or my husband to sing to her/scratch her back as she is falling to sleep, but we are (always have been) very happy to make her (and her brother/baby sister) feel safe/cozy as she is going to sleep.
If I were you (and this is only my own opinion), I would make a "house rule" that everyone has to sleep in their own beds. I might give stars/rewards for every night they do it...maybe a big prize (big in their eyes) after 3 or 5 nights in a row. I would do whatever it takes just to get them used to it, and that could be brutal for several nights. But the payoff will be huge for your family....mom and dad get to sleep together by themselves and your children learn to become good sleepers. Everyone is better rested and bedtime is no longer a dreaded anxiety for anyone!
If it is just too heartbreaking to go cold turkey...let your kids come into bed in the morning (after the sun comes up!) to cuddle. Gradually move those mornings to Sat/Sun so that the weekends become an extra-special time where you can all climb into bed in the mornings and cuddle. You could also let them have "sleepover nights" with eachother on the first night and then the weekends. But I probably wouldn't have it every night or they may have a hard time becoming independent sleepers. Again, it's just my opinion. It may be really hard for a bit, I would say "everyone has to sleep in their own beds" as a general rule and then give them the tools to be able to adapt (bright nightlights, sound machines, cuddle-mornings, etc.).
Best of luck to you with whatever you end up doing.
Just some other ideas, I love aroma therapy. Burn Lavendar oil in her room at night. Lavendar is very calming. Also I always played classical music in my son's room. They used to have these awesome CD's by Baby Genius. All classical and lullibies too. Or go to the library they have tons of lulliby
CD's for kids.
This is not the best idea but we used it for a while. Let her watch a DVD or video in her room to keep her company, my son always fell asleep 5-10 minutes into the movie.
Give her a flash light to shine on anything that worrys her. Let her leave her light on and turn it off once she is asleep.
Personally my husband and I never minded if our son wanted to come in our bed. We loved it actally. It felt all snuggly, warm and safe as a family. My son is 7 and rarely wants to sleep with us anymore :(
If you don't mind her in your bed then forget what all the experts and therapist say how terrible it is and just embrace what feels good for your family. Believe me your daughter will eventually want her own space when she is ready and feels secure and safe to do so.
Best Wishes.
M.
( I thought I can get up 10 times a night with my son or let him crawl in bed with us and we all get a full nights rest uninterrupted. I functioned much better and was more patience with a good night sleep)
