6 Year Old Not into Sports--throw in the Towel??

Updated on December 31, 2010
M.N. asks from Richardson, TX
21 answers

I have a 6 year old wonderful, bright, outgoing, creative little boy. I've signed him up for soccer a couple of times, basketball and t ball over the last few years to see what he might like. My husband and I are not much into sports, but we don't want to deprive him of the experience if he really enjoys sports. Plus, I like the benefits he'll have of being part of a team sport--exercise, team spirit, responsibility, sense of belonging, discipline, etc. He goes along with it all, but he has said he doesn't like it. Any of it. He does well with the team practices, as the coaches give more individualized attention, but at EVERY game of EVERY sport, my son just stands there with his arms at his side, and maybe walks around a bit, oblivious to his team and to what's going on. Yes, boys are easily distracted. I get that, (I have 3 boys!) but after a few years of this, I'm thinking, is he just not interested? Can I get him to participate in the games even just a little bit? I've tried friendly, encouraging basketball practices with him (laughable--I have no idea what I'm doing), and he just wants me to leave him alone so he can go play. Basketball is his favorite of the three sports, he says. Are basketball drills in the Richardson/Plano area I could sign him up for? Thanks!

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Sports aren't all they are cracked up to be. Put him in music classes or art classes and see if he likes those better. If you really want him to do a sport, put him in swimming. The kids always have fun and it's very low key.
LBC

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I never liked team sports, I never felt the need to play to win. But I discovered that I love to run, bike, swim, ice skate, and train in Karate. Individual sports like these can have many benefits for him, and most are things that he can do all his life. My 8 year-old daughter is the same. She is now in swimming and karate and enjoys those activities, along with theater and music.

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like a smart kid. Knows his own mind.
In some areas (communities, parts of the country)
sports are a lot more culturally "normal" than in others.
I'm assuming that in your community EVERYBODY does sports.
The thought of NOT doing sports may seem to be especially alien.
If he doesn't want to do it, I think he and you will be happier
if he isn't pushed into anything.
He might change his mind when he's a little older.
And/or . . . consider individual sports . . .
karate? swimming?
Good luck and Happy New Year.

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M.G.

answers from Dayton on

Just from my experience as a young child with my parents having me in basketball, cheerleading, drill team, and takign Viola lessons. I really only enjoyed the Viola and did not really wnat to do the others. But I did not want to tell my parents that. I would not keep your son in the sports if he does not show true intrest. One day he will find something he really wants to participate in and untill then just let him be your little boy! I hope this helps!

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M.H.

answers from Charlotte on

I think you are correct to assume that your son does not like sports! Although he doesn't mind basketball, so go with that! The YMCA offers basketball classes, so check into that.

I also have 3 boys, and my 7 year old son is also not into sports. He will play/tolerate soccer, but that's about it. He LOVES swimming, (he takes swim lessons). He is also in cub scouts, so I highly recommend you signing up your son for cub scouts because that is an excellent non-sport activity. Another thought - bowling. Even though bowling is a sport, it is not a "typical" sport, so maybe he will like that. I enrolled my son in a bowling league last summer when he was 6, and he liked it! We stopped b/c we had too many other things going on, but I would love to get him involved in a bowling league again. So, try basketball lessons, swimming lessons, bowling league, and cub scouts. It is okay that your son isn't a jock - either is mine!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

maybe he likes different types of exercise? swimming, track... things that don't have so many rules? Some kid's just are not in to team sports.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

If he does not like sports, then stop.
Find what HIS talents and interests are... then nurture that.
It is not a 'rule' that ALL kids 'have to do' sports.
They do not.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Sports are not the be all and end all. Did he ask to join? If he did, I would
use this to teach about committments. If you decided he should play,
pull him out. There are other things he could do. Cub scouts, swimming,
chess, the arts. He will find his niche.

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K.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I know he is 6 but he is still so young! Give him some time to develop some confidence and some of his own interests-which now that he's in school he will begin to have more exposure to in gym class, etc. Plus, he may just not be into team-type sports. How about swimming, martial arts, etc. He may do better, at least for now in sports that are a little more focused on self rather than team. Just a thought. Give it a little more time.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Our seven-year-old son has never been interested in team sports. However, he loves individual sports. He's doing Parkour gymnastics, which involves a lot of leaping, climbing and rolling, and it's perfect for him. He burns off a lot of energy and doesn't spend time waiting around for his turn as he would during team sports.

I would take a break from team sports (ask him first if he'd like to, though). They aren't essential to anything in life if they don't interest a child. I never played a team sport and turned out fine.

What I would do is wait for the local Parks & Rec catalog to come out (or find one online, if your city does that) and then ask him if he'd like to look through it for interesting classes. See what stands out to him.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Let him try a variety of different things: sports, music, art, swimming, Scouts, etc....and see what he likes.

You previous question about having your kids learn Spanish because "now is the time" in combination with this question would have me warn you to not push and just gently encourage them to try different things.

No 6 yr. old has to be extraordinary at anything other than being a 6 yr. old.
Don't rush him to grow up.
And I mean that in a nice way....enjoy your kids.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Sometimes it's not the sport that's the turn off so much as it is the team aspect of it. My son loves taekwondo. It keeps him active, teaches him leadership (he helps teach forms to lower belt levels), but his improvement is measured against his last performance and how much practice he puts into it.
It can take some time to find an activity that fits, but keep looking for something till you do.
I know a boy who loves clogging. It's VERY aerobic, and he performs with a troup all over the state at various fairs and civic functions.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I wouldn't push it any more. He's only 6, so he may decide at some later time that there's a sport he wants to play. He may not! Especially if you and your husband aren't really into sports -he may not be either. There are numerous other ways for him to be involved with peers as he ages -band, debate team, civic projects, chorus, drama club -if you're religious -church or temple activities, etc. Just let him play if that's what he wants or else you're going to sour him on it all forever.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

At age 6, if he isn't interested, I would let it go for a while. Maybe there is a karate class or boys gymnastics class he could try, swimming, or an art class he might enjoy more. Some kids just don't have the athletic ability and don't enjoy sports. My daughter surprised me by wanting to do soccer for 2 yrs (not her sport), and was eager to sign up again for this fall until a classmate told her that she would be doing cheerleading, so now that is her desire. Instead of basketball or softball, she chose dance this spring. And she chose to take a break from dance this fall to try karate. Let his interests drive him as hard as it is. Maybe down the road a classmate will do one of the sports and he will find an interest again. I think the more you push it, the more he will hate it.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

What about taking him bowling, roller skating and ice skating for now? Do you have a place in your area with a kid rock climbing wall? He may be more interested if it is just him and a friend. Or him and mom and dad :)

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Your son certainly sounds less than interested now. It doesn't mean he won't become interested on his own some time down the road.

If he were my boy, I'd drop it for a while - not requiring him to continue when it's time to sign up again unless he asks. You don't want him to think he has to do sports to be in your good graces. Let him know he needs to cheer for his brothers and their teams, though, and make sure he gets enough exercise in playing. There's a lot to be said for good ol' freestyle outdoor play!

Is there something else he's interested in? Gymnastics? Art? Music? Perhaps he'd like to put time and energy into something he really does like. But don't push much - he's only six and that's pretty young.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Not every boy likes to play sports try something else maybe art, dance, drama.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

Maybe he's just not the sporty type. Have you tried other activities for him?Like... gasp... dancing, music or art??? It doesn't sound like you would be depriving him if he isn't really participating or doing anything.
Good luck

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

Let him lead the way. If he doesnt like it, he doesnt like it. Think in another direction, art classes, music, karate.
Not all kids can be lumped into one category of things to get them involved in. An example my oldest son was always a very big kid. Tall and stocky. From EARLY on everyone and I mean everyone pushed the idea of him playing football. He loved to watch it, but I knew that he wasnt "that kind of kid" meaning he doesnt have the tuff nature, or desire to run to the point of puking lol. Well finally we gave it a try one year and I tried to tell him that he really needed to think about if this is what "he" wanted to do. And that once he joined he wasnt going to quit. Well he joined and he HATED it. But I made him stick out the season so he didnt short the team and cause them to forfeit games. But after that i told him and he saw it just wasnt for him, and we didnt sign up again. He does play baseball but he LOVES it. And he never thought he'd like it.
Find something else your son is interested in, maybe sports will come later. Maybe not!

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B.E.

answers from Las Vegas on

I'd give it a break for a while...maybe try a musical instrument ...? I've done it all! Coached both boys mixed league softball leagues when they were younger for 3 years, and ones soccer team...there was a small creek that ran alongside the park, I'd be coaching, notice a kid missing-mine, of course-in the creek catching tadpoles lol but he loves gymnastics bc he could do flips and swing from things lol he also plays violin and loves football. He's just turned 8 and my oldest is 9. They've played Something since they were 4 & 5...give him his options of sports/activities and if he signs up make him atleast see it through the season, I he has chosen it on his own ... Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Don't push..........

We tried different things with our daughter and she didn't like it.... gymnastics, ballet, soccer, basketball. After those failed attempts which started around age 3, we decided to just let things fall into place.

At 6 she requested to go to a martial arts class with a friend. Low and behold, it was her thing. She trained adamantly for years and at age 13 she achieved her black belt in Tang Soo Do. She began training in a large school and then we moved to a private training school where she thrived even more.

Age 13, beginning of middle school you are required (plano isd) to take either orchestra, band or chorus for 1 year. She chose to play the violin. Again.....the kid loved it and is in the highest orchestra at her school now. We bought her a violin and she plans in incorporate music into her college.

Gymnastics... we thought that was a blah... However, in 8th grade she showed an interest in cheerleading. She tried out for high school and is in her 3rd year, co-captian of the squad, doing all kinds of flips, back tucks, flying.. I never saw that coming.

Long story short.........be patient, don't push and let things fall into place. He'll find his niche. Daughter is 16 and just got her driver license today.... now we are in for another stage....

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