7 Month Old Not Sleeping Well

Updated on February 24, 2008
J.Z. asks from Mokena, IL
42 answers

My son just turned 7 months this week and I am still having to get up repeatedly almost every night. I cannot figure out what works and what doesn't when it comes to us all getting a good night's rest. I have tried doing the routine of bath, lotion, bottle, brushing of teeth, and book, but I haven't noticed a difference. He takes a pacifier and many times that seems to be the culprit of his awakening, wanting his pacifier. Should I work on taking it away? Other times he fusses until we finally pick him up and many times it leads to him being awake for an hour at a time. He is still breastfed but I usually give him breastmilk in a bottle before bed to make sure he gets enough to last the night and he is eating two meals of food a day. As a desperate measure I sometimes breakdown and breastfeed him in the middle of the night because I know he will sleep for a few solid hours after. With naps and putting him to sleep at night it can take up to an hour. Rarely he will fall asleep on his own, rocking/bouncing doesn't seem to work well anymore and it is getting difficult to hold a baby over 20 pounds until he falls asleep. I am trying to create a routine for some consistency and so he can sleep more soundly. Any tips? Also, is it okay to be bathing your baby every evening or is it too harsh on his skin?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for all the great advice and reassuring comments. It's nice to know that I am not alone! I was beginning to think that I was doing something wrong because everyone always asks "How's the baby sleeping?" I am really impressed with all of the different perspectives, ideas and methods that were given. My husband and I have a lot to think about. I had just joined Mamasource last week and it has already been worth it. Again, thanks to all for giving me your time and a sense of sanity. J. B.

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

It's my personal opinion that 7 months is too young for some babies to be sleeping through the night. But as you explore this question, here are some websites that you might find helpful....

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/sleep.html

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBsleep.html

Best wishes!

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe he is still hungry or teething.
try giving him cereal before bed time.
My son also takes a "binky" and he use to wake up when it fell out. I started attaching it to his PJ's so that either he could find it or I could.
This might just be something simple as needing a little more food.
My son is 14mths old and all last week he was up all night long with teething problems and a stuffy nose.
best of luck to you.
S.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Is he hungry is that why he's waking?

At 6 months, I put a little oat meal flakes into the bottom before bed time, it fills them up more.

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B.C.

answers from Chicago on

According to most doctors, a baby who weighs more than 12 lbs is big enough to sleep through the night. You're also not helping him by rocking him to sleep though you feel like you are. He's not learning to soothe himself. You might want to add more pacifiers to the crib so there's always one around, and if nursing him helps, nurse him before bed... it's a soothing and wonderful part of the routine and a special time for the two of you.

Here's my advice for whatever it's worth: keep going with the bedtime routine since it will certianly help in the future and let your baby cry it out. I know it sounds harsh and horrible but it works and it trains your baby to soothe himself back to sleep.

The way you're supposed to do it is gradual... The first night you let him cry for 5 minutes, go in, TALK to him for a minute or two, tell him he's doing well, etc... Don't touch him... Leave and let him cry for another 10 mintues, go in and then let him go for 15 minutes and keep going in every 15 mintues after that till he's out. The second night everything increases by 5 mintues, so you go in the first time after 10 minutes, then 15, then 20 and the third night antother 5 (so after 15, 20 and 25). You never wait longer than 25 minutes, so if you have to do more than 3 nights, stick with the third night's schedule.

It took our daughter 5 nights of fighting to figure this all out (at 5 months old), but now she's a superstar at 14 months old. She goes straight to sleep (with about 7 pacifiers in her cirb at all times so that she's always got one within reach), sleeps for 12+ hours and goes down nicely for naps as well (had to cry it out for those, too). It's hard to do--I couldn't have done it without my husband's support--but well worth it as you'll be happier when he's sleeping better!

Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Well let me start out by saying that I was having flashbacks reading your post. With my first I had to get up many times a night with her until she was about 7 months and then a couple of times until I just couldn't take it anymore.

First thing I had to do was take the pacifier away. She would cry everytime she woke up without it. I would have to crawl around on the floor to look for it and then wash it off and give it back to her. I thought about getting a bumper pad to keep in the crib but I had to be honest with myself and realize that even when it was in the bed she couldn't find it on her own. She was totally dependant on mommy (no fault of her own...mine totally)....so she got a little cold and I was giving her something for her nose (it was acceptable then) and she was so drowsy she slept. I took the pacifier out of the crib and after a few day she didn't even notice. That helped a whollllleeeee bunch. Then I was only up two or three times instead of the 6, 7, or 8 times a night. I was so tired I started hallucinating.

So then the next step was to realize that she was at an age that she should sleep through the night (at least six hours without waking up.) Once I got that through my head and I realized I was sooooo tired I was getting cranky with her and the hubby during the day...I decided I had to grow some spine. So for three night straight I did what my mother told me to do in the first place. Every time she woke up I went in and told her it was not time to be awake...it was nightp-night time and she had to go back to sleep. I didn't pick her up, but gently laid her down and told her to go to sleep. Then I would walk out of the room and put a pillow over my head. She would scream bloody murder...snot running, tears flowing. After about fifteen minutes I would go back in and do the same thing again. The first night I had to do that for over an hour or maybe it was two...I don't know. She eventually got so tired she fell back to sleep. She slept the rest of the night. In the morning I praised her for sleeping and we had a great day. The next night the same thing over again. Crying, screaming, me laying her down, pillow over my head so I can't hear her as much. But after about four or five times she fell back to sleep. Then the third night. Maybe I had to go in twice...maybe three times but she went back to sleep. That was it. After that she slept all night...by that I mean six hours or so. She was breastfed until she was a year old....so in the morning she would nurse but typically she would go back to sleep for an hour or so. At a year she would sleep eight to ten hours a night. She's five now and she goes to bed at 7:30-8pm...and she gets up about 7:30 in the morning. So I'm a pretty happy mommy. Sometimes she would still wake up but I would lay her down and patt her bottom and tell her it was not time to be awake. One time once in awhile is all it took. She never pitched the fits like she did at 9 months.

The second child I trained early. She was in a bassinette for three weeks because the crib wasn't in. Then she went right into her crib. She had a pacifier but she never cried about it during the night so that wasn't a battle. I wouldn't go to her unless she was fully awake and crying a bit. She would nurse and I would lay her right down when she was done....no playing or talking...I always kept the lights off (nursed by night light). Because I didn't create a need in her to be lulled she never gave me many problems with waking up in the middle of the night. She just naturally started sleeping longer and longer. She was sleeping about six hours by the time she was just a few months old. Thank God!! I don't know that my sanity could have taken another night baby.

Good luck...hope some of that helps. And I feel for you. I so know what you are going through.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I was at my wit's end when my daughter turned 9 months old and was still not sleeping through the night. I wondered if I would ever sleep again! We finally started reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. I swear, the first day we tried what he suggested, she started sleeping through the night. The big thing was that, as first time parents, we assume that the later you put the baby to bed, the later they'll get up (and it works with our schedule)... but the fact is, babies need lots of sleep and you have to make sure they're getting good naps too. Dr. Weisbluth say to put the baby to bed EARLIER because sleep begets sleep! We put her to bed a full 2 hours earlier than normal (around 530pm), and she slept for 12 HOURS that night! AND I was finally able to get more done around the house! You do also have to make sure he gets good naps too (45 minutes or more, two or three times a day). The better quality his naps are, the better he will sleep at night too.

We had a variety of things happen, though, where she would sleep through the night for a few weeks and then start waking in the middle of the night again... Routine would get messed up because of travel or whatever, she was sick and being congested woke her, or she was just overtired... so we'd have to go back to the book (we didn't read it all the way through--we're just reading it as she hits the new stage) and see if we need to adjust the schedule. At about 12 months, we had to start shooting for a later time--about 630 to 7pm--and she started sleeping through the night again. You're going to have to adjust a few times too, since they go through stages.
Dr. Weisbluth has done tons of research on sleep, and our pediatrician and a few peds nurses I know have all suggested this book.

We do not bathe our daughter every night, especially with the winter being harsh for the skin.

She also sleeps with a pacifier and a very soft stuffed animal. We only let her have these things for sleep, so she knows that once we hand these two things to her--it's time for sleep. Now, as soon as the binky is in her mouth and she is hugging her "bunny bear" (PJ Bear made by Ty), she puts her head right down and gets herself nice and comfy!

Oh, and the other thing that might have been a factor was that she might have been cold--not sure because we started putting her down earlier AND putting her in a sleep blanket at the same time (the sack that zippers and has holes cut out for arms and head). We have two Halo Sleep Sacks (you can find at Babies R Us); one is fleece for fall and winter, and the other is cotton for spring and summer.

Good luck! You WILL eventually be able to sleep again! :)

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

J.,
You are not alone. My 7 month old boy does the same thing. We also do a routine at night and he still wakes up 2-3 times a night. (I understand how exhausting it is because I am 8 weeks pregnant and I would LOVE for him to sleep through the night). My son normally wakes up around 2 or 3 and I go in and give him his pacifier and he goes right back to sleep. Then he wakes up between 4-5 SCREAMING. At that point he doesn't want anything but a bottle. And when we give him it he drinks 8oz. So I know that he is hungry.

I know that other people say to just let them cry themselves to sleep but I think it is just way too young for them especially if they are hungry and drinking 8oz. (My son also drinks 8ozs before bed at 7).

Hang in there...your not alone!

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

You are describing my son :) wonder if its a boy thing..?

We went thru the exact same thing. Our pediatrician set me straight at his 9 month appt. I am not new to this parenting game, so I really thought I was doing the 'right' thing going in and comforting him when he needed it... I was doing him a disservice though. Turns out he was not learning to comfort himself or fall asleep on his own. That last bit is essential for those middle of the night wakings. We had to do some sleep training. I won't kid you...it was very h*** o* me to hear him crying, but starting with naps helped. at least it wouldnt wake the whole house. I put him in his crib awake and said "its time for a little nap, mommy loves you, I will see you soon" (every single time). i would only go in if he got really worked up. some days it took an hour before he fell asleep. we did it at night too after a couple days of nap training. after about a week, he got the idea. crucial part of the training - no bottle at night. make sure your pediatrician gives the ok on this though. Personally I would make an exception if the last feeding of the day wasnt good.

I am happy to say that my son now sleeps thru the night (perspective: he was getting me up 2-3 times a night after he was 6 months old) and when he does wake up, he can get himself back to sleep.

Also, we use a pacifier too - I dont see any reason to take it away right now if he finds comfort in it. especially with all the separation anxiety they experience at this age. I asked our dentist and she says pacifier use doesnt cause problems in teeth until they are about 4-5 yrs old. however, that being said, we try to limit use to when he is tired, going to bed or clearly needs some comfort that cannot be provided elsewhere. also, we do not bathe every night during the winter... for our son, it aggravates his skin and he gets dry patches. I only use Aveeno bath products on him, which are gentle.

Good luck to you.

p.s. i think they call the sleep training 'ferberizing'. try to google it - its not for every parenting style, but it worked for us.

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

my son woke up every night until he was almost a year. I rocked him to sleep every night. Sometimes that would take over an hour. I had a good routing but it to didnt help him fall asleep on his own. I finally took the drs advice and let him cry it out little by little. They told me he got all the nutrition he needs during the day. It was just comfort in the middle of the night. I only wish I had done it sooner. My husband and I would just lay together crying. first time we let him cry 5 min, then 10 and after 5 hard days it was better. It was just very hard to get past those 5 days. you feel guilty. But, I knew all of his needs were met. hes 7 now and we still have our routine and he often asks to go to bed by 730 on the weekends when I let him stay up until 8.

Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

This may sound harsh, but have you tried letting him cry it out? As long as he's not hungry, wet, or uncomfortable, I think it's okay to start teaching him to comfort himself. In the long run, he'll be much happier, because you will be happier and more rested. Sticking to a bedtime routine is a great idea. Now your son just has to get used to being a little more independent.

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.: This is a very common thing. Your son is in the routine of waking up and knowing that you will be there to pick him up and nurse him. My oldest child did the same thing. All of my children were breast fed, but after I figured her out, none of the others did this. (or should I say were allowed to do this.) You need to show hinm that you love him and are there for him, but that he doesn't need your breast to fall back asleep. First of all, I suggest that you put an additional pacifier in his bed. One to suck and one to hold. Then when he misplaces the one in his mouth, he will be able to pop the other in quickly. Secondly, when he starts crying at night, certainly go to him, but do not breast feed him. At seven months he doesn't need night time feedings. For the first couple of nights, pick him up, cuddle him, rock him and reassure him. He is going to cry and act up, but eventually he will settle down. Each night, rock him a few rocks less. ie: night one = 200 rocks, night two = 190 rocks, night three = 180 rocks. You literally need to count them. Counting them also helps take your mind off of him screaming. When you reach the magic number, put him in his crib and stay in the room with him, gently patting his back until he drifts off. DO NOT PICK HIM UP AGAIN AFTER YOU LAY HIM DOWN! Do this each night until you reach 0 rocks. Do this at bed time and nap time also. Then at that point, when he starts fussing or crying during the night, just go to him and pat his back without picking him up. After several night of just patting his back, just go to him when he fusses and quietly whisper "you're ok" don't touch him, or pick him up. He will settle himself down. Do stay in the room with him till he drifts off. AFter several nights of this, don't go in his room. Just call out to him from the door that he's ok (in a soft voice of course). Eventually, he will learn that he doesn't need you or your breast to fall back asleep. It takes a couple of weeks and a lot of will power on your side. Remember, he doesn't need breast milk to fall asleep. It is the suckling of your breast that he wants to use to pacify himself. He will cry, have tempers and fits, but you need to remember that you are the boss. You love him and care for him, but he needs to learn to put himself to sleep. As far as the crying, he will scream, whale, sputter, cough and do anything in his power to get you to give in to him. He's been around for 7 months so you can tell by now what is a temper cry and what is a real, something is wrong cry. Don't let him fool you. Once you correct this night time trauma, naps and bedtime will go much smoother! Good luck and remember, consistency is the key!

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter (who is now almost 3)didn't sleep through the night until she was almost 1. We did not take the pacifier away although because it was the only way she'd fall asleep. We took it away at 18 months when she could understand a little more that she didn't need it. My doctor told us that while it wasn't the norm that she woke up every night, he said there was nothing to be concerned with because she went back to sleep. He did advise that we not talk to her when we replaced her pacifier and that we not pick her up. She still wakes up every so often crying in the middle of the night. Her twin has never had problems. Hopefully for you, this time will pass soon and you won't have to wait until he is a year to get a full nights sleep!

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S.M.

answers from Peoria on

I haven't read all the responses, but 7 mo is WAY too young to let him cry and expect him to sleep through and not be hungry. No age is good for abandonment in my opion. Breastmilk digests very quickly and his stomach is still small. Giving him a bottle before bed is not likely helping. He needs the high fat hind milk to stay full and he may not be getting that from pumped milk. It's okay to nurse during the night, in fact it's expected. Our society puts way too much emphasis on independent babies. (ie. sleeping through, not nursing, no pacifier ect) I say let them be babies! There is nothing wrong with your son. I spent so much time worrying about all this with my first, it made me really tense. With my other 2 I just follow thier lead. I bring them to my bed and nurse them when they want to. It's much less stressfull to accept how babies are than to try to change them. We all wake up in the night. Babies just need a little help to get back to sleep.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Most babies do not sleep through the night, and btw sleeping through the night is considered as little as 6 hrs. My son still work to nurse until he was about a year old, then I used a no cry night weaning technique cause he was eating quite a bit of solids by then and well able to sleep longer, just wanted to be near me and be comforted. I nursed him to sleep every night. Eventually they do learn how to go to sleep on their own. I don't know why you are doing the bottle or "breaking down" and nursing him at night. He will probably be more calm and comforted and sleep longer if you nurse him. I don't do baths every night during the winter....it seemed to dry the skin out too much.

We used to do diaper change, jammies, read books, then nurse while listening to a lullaby CD. Then I would put him in his crib and he would usually sleep a good 4-5 hours at least and when he woke I would bring him to bed with me and he would nurse off and on, most of the time I barely woke up. Now he sleeps in a big boy bed all by himself and does great. Don't stress yourself out over doing it the "wrong" way or worry about spoiling him. A good calming bedtime routine is key.

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K.E.

answers from Chicago on

My 7 month old did not sleep well either. I think you'll find most don't. Make sure you put him down early enough so that he's not overtired. I think it's pretty normal for babies to wake at least once or twice in the night then once again in the early morning (4-6). You can try letting him cry but I gotta tell ya, it worked for us until he started getting in all his teeth. Then we were back to square one!

I bathed my son almost every day too. I think a lot depends on your child's skin type, the soap (if any) you use and the humidity of your home. Just monitor his skin :) and use the gentlest soap you can find. I put baby wash in an empty foaming bottle with LOTS of water and it works great! Gets him nice and clean, saves money on soap, and is easy to rinse off!

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

My 8 month old is doing the same thing, although he does not have a pacifier. I've tried giving him a bottle of formula before bed instead of breastfeeding (I started supplementing earlier so that when I am gone I do not need to pump:)) This has worked for other moms. Introducing formula at this age is tough - my doctor recommended soy b/c it is sweeter. My oldest used the pacifier and woke up a lot looking for it. We took it away one day and he never missed it! I think that around this age there is a lot going on - introducing different solids, learning new skills like crawling, sitting, etc., teething - that they may have a hard time sleeping through the night. I am just dealing with it and I do breastfeed during the night. I usually end up falling asleep doing it in the bed and I actually enjoy spending that "quality" time with him b/c he does not get that with having 2 older siblings (one almost 2 and the other 3). Try not to look at it as an inconvenience (easier said than done:)) and try to enjoy being able to comfort them at this age any way you can b/c it goes by way too fast!! Good Luck!!

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C.L.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, you seem to be doing everything right so keep up with the consistency. Maybe after he falls asleep, remove the pacifer and if you are giving him a good 6 onze bottle before bedtime, then he should be ok but it is understanable to breakdown as I too used to do this. Send your husband/partner in and have them console him and see if this works....sometimes they smell mommy and want food. Also we bathe our guy every other evening as I do think it is a lot on there skin but do whatever you feel comfortable with-my little man loves his bath. Good luck

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

Check out Marc Weisbluth's book on sleep. I think it's called Healthy sleep habits, Healthy child. I refer to it every couple of months. I have a seven month old who is not as good of a sleeper as his 3 y/o brother was at this age in terms of his daytime naps, but he does sleep thru the night.

My son will occasionally wake up and fuss but is able to fall back asleep on his own. We don't go to him at all unless I'm convinced he's truly hungry, which is rare.

I would definitely recommend you purchase his book - it's a great reference!!!

L. in Frankfort

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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

I can tell you this I understand what you are going through. My daughter had a very bad case of colic. I went by the book in every step that I took in helping her sleep through the night. But going by the book was not the answer for me so I relied on the older generation. I hope this works for you try it for a week and see add Rice Cereal to the bottle only at night. This help me in the first day or two it helps to keep there stomach full over night just like you or I we get hungry we eat same with our babies. The cereal I found best to use was the Infameal Rice cereal. The Gerber Rice cereal would stick to the inside of the bottle unlike the Infameal. It worked for me she slept through the night. I realy believe this will be the fix for you to get a full nights sleep.
Good Luck

P.S. let me know how it goes
my E-Mail is ____@____.com

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest getting one of those mobiles that illuminates on the ceiling. I had the same problem with my 1st born so, I would just sit next to her crib quietly until she felt comfortable enough to fall asleep and then I'd sneak out. She also took to the glow worm. I would not suggest getting into a time consuming routine. You have to try and let your son sooth himself. I also bought one of those light up musical things that hooks onto the crib and it had a remote control so I'd set the music low and turn on the lights and sneak out and once it turned off I'd go to the door and hit the remote and start it over again this way my daughter wasn't distracted by me coming in the room and wanting me to pick her up again. I would not suggest bathing everynight as it does dry out their skin, I noticed my daughter was getting cradle cap and I think it had to do with me washing out the natural oils on her head everynight.

I hope this helps - good luck. It will get better!

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

This isn't advice, more like your not alone....I have 3 boys 19, 12 and 7 all of them slept well for me during the night. Then my granddaughter (yes, I am too young for a granddaughter) came along and she would get up often during the night. When she turned 10 months or so it seemed that she began sleeping through the night. Nothing we did seemed to keep her sleeping through the night, not rocking, rubbing her back, etc. She just seemed to start sleeping through the night on her own. What about trying some nature sounds in the background (she liked the ocean sounds best), those seem to work for my granddaughter. Sorry I don't have any solutions for you, but I certainly do share your feelings.

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R.L.

answers from Springfield on

J.--

It is not at all unusual for your 7 mo old to wake and need to nurse at night--you are not "breaking down" by nursing in the middle of the night, but providing him the nourishment he obviously still needs to make it through the night--as evidenced by your comment that he will sleep solidly for several hours after. Try giving him some cereal mixed with breast milk at bedtime--that may hold him longer. Also, maybe nurse at bedtime rather than give a bottle of breast milk--hind milk is rich in fat and calories, and it comes toward the end of breastfeeding session. If you are giving him a bottle of breastmilk, there is no way to know that he is getting the hindmilk so rich in calories that will sustain him longer.

Also--find what works for you--for us, we had a family bed for the first year or more--I could nurse at night without even fully wakening or getting out of bed--I would just roll over, latch, and we would all drift happily off to sleep. The extra rest was well worth it, and when she was older, she transitioned to her own bed very easily.

Read Dr. Sears' The Sleep Book, too. I always found him to be wise and true.

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L.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi J. - I am not that more expereinced than you...I have an 8-month old son and I'm a first time mom. I can't speak to the pacifier b/c my son never really became attached to his.

However, when he's waking at night, have you thought about sending your husband in instead of you? Since he's nursing, when you go in he may think he gets to nurse and then may become more agitated when he can't. I found this to be the case with my son. Perhaps your husband could go in and soothe him and if/when he realizes it's not time to eat, he may give up the night wakings...just an idea.

Good luck! I know it's so hard when you hear of all these other babies sleeping 12 hours at night and you just want yours to be one of them...

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L.E.

answers from Chicago on

I definately let my girls use pacifiers as infants, but as SOON as it became a "habit" at bedtime/naptime we took it away cold turkey. As soon as I saw they were only waking b/c they lost it in their crib we took it and never looked back. We never "weaned", we just cut them from it. They found new ways to soothe themselves to sleep. We have a lullaby CD in each of their rooms they fall asleep to and my youngest took to a small wash-cloth sized blanket that's soft on one side and silky on the other. But she ONLY gets it at bedtime/naptime. We don't even take it out w/ us anywhere if she may nap. It's only for HER crib or if she spends a full night w/ my parents. A week after we took them from the girls (both at six months old) they were fine and they've never needed it since. If you don't think you can cut cold turkey (meaning you want to but think you may cave and give in) just throw them away. That's what friends of ours did when weaning didn't work and THAT's when their son finally started to soothe himself to sleep.

Our youngest gets used to being cuddled at night when she's sick, so when she gets better she wakes at night just to be held. We go in, restart her music, lay her bear down and rub her back. Then we put HER down next to her bear. We do not pick her up...just let her know we're there and it's okay to go back to sleep. Usually about a week later she's back to sleeping great.

On the bathing issue... My youngest has pretty sensitive skin so I asked her doc about bathing in Dec during her 18 mos appt. He said that not only does the dryness of the heated house dry out their skin easily, but warm baths/showers dry out skin, too. He said it's best to bathe every other day and shampooing doesn't even need to happen unless they're dirty. If I give them baths and they're not dirty enough to actually shampoo (I shampoo about 2-3 times a week) I give them a bath in PLAIN water...meaning no bubbles, no soaps, no shampoos. I heat the bathroom first by turning on the shower on full heat, (close the curtain halfway...it seems to help create the steam) and close the door for about five or so mins. Then I give them a bath w/ the door closed to hold in the steam. Then I lotion them up IN the bathroom and dress them in the bathroom. It has REALLY helped with both of their dryness.

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K.N.

answers from Chicago on

Babies sleeping through the night is not as common as it seems. Most need to be comforted and soothed. My son is a year old this month and still wakes throughout the night. He is breastfed and I have always breastfed him to sleep. We started co-sleeping when he was four months old and we are all able to get our rest.

I baby sit for a little girl who has always slept with a pacifier. Her mother says when she wakes crying in the night they immediately put the pacifier back her mouth and she goes back to sleep she is currently 14 months old.

Although it gets frustrating and seems inconvenient, our society has made mothers think their child should be sleeping through the night by a certain time--our society finds it more logical to put our child through something we describe as brutal and makes them cry until they vomit. Do what feels right--loving and comforting your child when they cry. Parenting is hard work, inconvenient and takes patience.

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P.M.

answers from Chicago on

I know the lack of sleep can be tough! My middle son was like that: he actually did not sleep fully through the entire night until after he was 1. Basically once I knew he was not hungry, I'd go in and pick him up, maybe hold him for a minute or two and set him back down in his crib. He was usually fine after that. What if they have a nightmare or maybe hit themselves on the crib and just need to know mom is there? Also one time shortly after going to bed (he was about 2) he started crying. If I had ignored it and "made" him try to sleep on his own I would have missed the fact that for some reason his lamp on his nightstand had fallen on him (it did not hurt only scared him) and that is why he was upset.

I have had to do the crying it out thing once with my daughter who was overly tired and nothing helped: she'd cry if she was being held, put down, fed, not fed, etc. I think she was alseep within 10 min of fussing. I am not a fan of it though as you can probably guess LOL.

I agree with encouraging longer naps during the day: for my baby the better he naps, the better he sleeps. He is about 6 1/2 months old and sometimes wakes up to eat (I also breastfeed) and sometimes does not. I am not ready to draw any solid lines about whether or not he needs to eat. Since I work during the day it is possible he is missing the extra nursing or something. My two older kids can put themselves back to sleep without issues, and I even (gasp!) nursed them to sleep, as I do with my youngest.

Oh and about the baths: all of my kids have always gotten daily baths. As another poster mentioned, if I shower every day then why would my kids be any different? Just make sure you are using gentle cleansers, such as Johnson + Johnson's Head to Toe, followed by a body lotion. We have never had problems with dry skin.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the other moms, I have 2 children 4 and almost 3. And mine did not sleep through the night at 7 months. Yes, some do, and others don't. And as they get older, you have weeks of sleeping through the night and then something happens and it starts over!

I do think that bathing every night will dry out the skin. At 7 months, they don't get that dirty in one day.

Is he used to falling asleep after being placed in the crib, or does he getted rocked? If you are rocking him, you could try to rock him a bit and then put him down.

Also, at that age, I gave my son a bottle at about 11, and then it helped him sleep until 6.

My advice is to try different things that you are comfortable with. It can be frustrating when you they are up so much becuase it makes you so tired, that's why I think trying different things that work for you is important.

Also he may be teething or going through a growth spurt, so this may let up.
Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

Bathing every night is a good routine. My daughter had eczema and dry skin and her allergist told us we should absolutely bathe her every night and lotion her up.
I'll tell you what my doctor told us about night waking. She first said with both kids that they are most likely hungry and that's what's waking them up. It's not so much how many ounces before bed but how much in the whole day. I had both my kids on 3 meals a day by the time they were 7 months. I don't know why my kids eat so much but my 9 month old is still getting up at 4 am to eat. I just started him on formula because my milk supply was dwindling but when he was 7 months, I was getting up at least twice a night and sometimes three times. They have both been in the 97% for both height and weight consistently so they're not getting too much or too little. If you nurse in the middle of the night does he snack or chow down?
Also, my doctor said I should expect my kids to sleep the same way my husband or I sleep which scared me because I take forever to fall asleep and so do my kids. All three of us will stay awake at least 30 min before we fall asleep at night.
Good luck!! Hope you both get some sleep soon!

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L.T.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry to hear about the sleeping...you must be very tired by now!

First, that is too many baths! They say 2x's or 3x's a week at the most for babies! There is always the exception when a baby gets especially messy, but too much bathing is bad for his skin!

The routines you are trying are great! Keep that going! I have 6 pacifers, yes...6 - in the crib with my daughter! I figure that way, anyway she rolls over she can find one! ;)

The book that helped me understand better how/why babies need their sleep - "Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Baby"....it will really show you various things to try, and teaches you why sleep is so important for babies...all the way thru teenage years really!

Oh.......and you have a fan in the room right? Not pointed at the baby or anything, just in the room even pointed at the wall...it's just for the "white noise"...babies love that!

My daughter is almost 16mnths old now...sleeps from 6p to 7a! It took awhile...but once I read that book, there is a certain time in the night that babies need sleep, and that's between 5p-6p to lay them down for the nite! So many people try to keep their babies up late to make them sleep longer. It's actually the opposite affect on the baby, the later you put them to bed, the earlier they get up. If you put them to bed early - they sleep later. I know...doesn't make sense! They say it's a "biological" need, not a logical one! I'm here to tell you that it works, and has for us since she was about 8 months old. There are nights when she wakes, usually a cold, teeth coming in, or something...but it's rare.

I'm not saying this works for every baby or every family - but it did for us, and it's worth a shot right?

Anyway - good luck!

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S.F.

answers from Peoria on

What time does his routine begin? I would suggest putting him to bed earlier. I know it sounds crazy, but my 1o month old wasnot sleeping well either. He would wake in the middle ofthe night and not be able to get himself back to sleep. Then he would wake up for the day before 6am. I put him to bed at 7:30- the very first night, he slept the whole night through and woke up about 6:30. He is now 13 months old and is sleeping great. But he has to get in bed by 7:30- if he gets to bed late, he wakes up earlier. As for the getting to bed problems- I would suggest going through thr routine, then lay him down. Let him cry if need be. I know this can be hard. I would check on him every 10 minutes or so. Pat him back, lay him back down if need be and leave again. If you get him to learn to fall asleep on his own, you will be much better off. I did the same thing in the middle of the night. I would let him cry for about 10 minutes- then go in and pat his back for just a minute and then leave again. If I picked him up, he would be up for hours. I would have to rub his back, cover him back up, and leave. He would go back to asleep within 1/2 hour. Hope this helps.

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,

At my son's 9 month appointment I asked the doctor a similar question and he said that the reason he isn't sleeping through the night was because I was rocking him to sleep every night and whenever he woke up, he was expecting me to come in and do that again. At the time he was waking up on average 3 times a night and sometimes it would take well over an hour to get him back to bed. When he was 10 months, we finally decided to try the Ferber method, which is a modified cry it out method where you go in to check on the baby at increasing intervals and attempt to soothe him. It was absolutely brutal and he vomited for 5 nights straight and it took about 2 weeks for him to go to sleep without crying at all. But starting about 3 nights into it, once he fell asleep he would sleep for at least 10 hours without waking up.

Unfortunately, it stops working so often, anytime the routine gets messed up or the baby is sick or teething, etc. We were having to "retrain" him soooo often. For the past few months (he's now almost 2), I've started staying in his room until he falls asleep but not rocking him or anything, he goes in his crib wide awake. Most of the time he sleeps through the night, but a couple times a week he still wakes up and I have to go in there and stay with him till he falls asleep again. I know I have to retrain him again, but I'm just not up to going through that again. I'm currently pregnant with our second and really don't know how I'm going to be able to continue that while taking care of a newborn.

So, I don't know if this offers you much help except to know that you aren't alone! Basically you need to find a way for your son to learn how to fall asleep on his own so that when he wakes up at night he doesn't need you to help him. Easier said than done!

Good luck!

L.

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H.L.

answers from Chicago on

I would say just keep up the bedtime routine. He'll catch on. Some babies take longer to learn to put themselves back to sleep. He will someday; this won't last forever. Hang in there and be strong! My last child was the worst and didn't sleep all night until she was one. I tried everything. I swear she just wasn't ready to do it! Now she still has bad nights but atleast she can put herself back to sleep. Also, I've always given all my kids baths every single night and we have super sensitive skin. It doesn't bother them. I hate that people don't think they need baths every day. Don't you take one?? And babies are far dirtier than us! Pooping, drooling and spitup, etc! It helps get them into a routine. My youngest is 16 months and right after dinner she goes to the gate for upstairs!! She knows it's bathtime. It's too cute! Good luck, he'll get there! :)
Mom to four great kids!

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J.B.

answers from Champaign on

I am 57 years old.. Your baby just sounds like to me he is missing you and the closeness since you do breastfeed him.
and also some kids don't sleep well anyway regardless of what you do for them so when he gets to be up and running around he will most likely be a child that doesn't nap. My daughter was just like this she would sleep so long as I was holding her. As an adult she still doesn't sleep well. I hope that will not be the case with your little one.
He could be teething too.
Also, Asperger children have this same pattern. I have two grandchildren with Aspergers. I am not saying that your child has this only a possibility.
Do you have a good baby doctor?
I hope that I have helped in some way. Take care and good luck. Lynne

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T.J.

answers from Chicago on

Routine is key. Just keep it up! Make sure all are at the same time every day (as close as possible). Do not let him see you when you check on him at night. Yes, as a mom it's hard not to respond to your childs cries but, know that a cry is natural. If he know's you'll respond everytime he cries he'll continue to do this. If you don't than he will sleep throught the night. It takes a little time and patience. I promise it will pay off for a life time of good sleeping habits.

I am a mother of three, two of whom are twins. It worked for me everytime!
Good luck!
T.

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A.T.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the moms who said 7 monthes is too young to epect a full night. And just to be sure--what you think as full night isn't necessarily what Jr thinks is a full night. A good 5-7 hours might be full for him right now. The going to bed thing is an issue though. I am not a cry it out person. I don't think we did that until she was over a year and then it darn near killed me to do it. We had the same problem with our first as you do. She always wanted held too. What worked for us was to try slowly removing ourselves from the room while she was tired. One week we sat next to her bed, the next week we moved the chair further away, then sat in the doorway, then outside the door, then in the hall, finally we could lay her down and leave but she still needed to be able to see us to feel secure. The other thing we found was that when she was able to actually eat food we would give her yogurt for a bedtime snack. It seemed to really help her make it through the night. She's almost 7 and we still have yogurt or pudding before bed. Good luck---one day this will be a memory and you'll be giving advice.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

My son had the same problems with falling asleep, etc. when he was that age. We eventually just had to do cry it out with him, which was really hard (he was 9 months when we started), but he goes down so much easier now. The main thing is to be consistent. It took us about a week, every nap or evening he would cry a little less. It was hard, but it is so much better to have him going to sleep on his own now. Also, a big culprit of crying before bed can be if the baby is up too long and gets overstimulated. We began putting my son down at night at about 6pm and that made a huge difference as well. He has always had trouble sleeping, so he still gets up in the night sometimes - the trick is to not let them form a habit (like we did with our son), and at seven months your little boy is probably getting to the age where he is starting to get used to doing things a certain way. I believe if we had started breaking those habits when my son was younger, he wouldn't wake up now like he does. Also, my pediatrician said to take several nights in a row and let him cry himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night. Take shifts with your husband, so you can listen to him and make sure he stays safe. I just wouldn't let him cry for too long (not over an hour), and since he uses a pacifier, you can also go in, give him his pacifier and lay him back down instead of taking him out, and do that several times (we've done that with our son too and it worked pretty well). When he learns to put his own pacifier back in his mouth, it will make a difference. The main thing is to be consistent with whatever you do, even though it means several nights in a row that may be really difficult. Also, if bathing is not helping, I wouldn't bathe him every night. It can be h*** o* baby's skin and they really don't need to be bathed every day.

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,
I'm a first time mom and my son is almost 11 months old. He really likes his pacifier too. When he was about your son's age he would wake up just the same if his pacifier fell out. Bedtime is when he uses it, so he's become attached to it. It's good to have a pacifier at night, they say it helps with SIDS. Also, it's a good comfort in the middle of the night. It's in his nature to want to suck. Try handing him a second pacifier when you put him down, or stash one in the corner of his crib. When he wakes up, maybe he can find it on his own. I use to get up 3-5 times a night myself to give it back to him. It was hard, but I finally just let him cry it out for about 5 min. or so. You'll be able to hear in his cry if he really is in distress. Also, try using similar routines of book and music at his naptimes. I get him settled down then put him in the crib and walk out of the room. I don't respond if he stands up or starts crying, I swear by the five minute rule. He'll eventually realize he's not foolin' anyone.
The bedtime routine, maybe you can try reading his book before his bottle. With my son, his bottle really calms him down. I also have tried "sleep association". Slowly add a new element to his night-time like a night light or a certain lullaby CD. With those things still on in the middle of the night when he wakes up, it will be easier for him to soothe himself back to sleep. The lady that mentioned having your husband go in because seeing you might trigger his hunger, that's a really good idea. Sometimes he really may be hungry though, growth spurts really sneek up on you. I always use it as a last resource, then I feel bad. That's how you learn.
I think bathing everynight is too much too. Especially in the winter months. My son gets about 3 baths a week. I wash his face and hands everyday, knees too sometims.
That's so cool that you're still breastfeeding him. I'm sure it's not easy but in the end you'll be real happy you kept up the hard work. You're a good mom.
Best of luck.
M.

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T.R.

answers from Chicago on

I felt like I was alone as well since my twin boys still really don't sleep through the night and they are almost one. I tried letting them cry and they would wake the other one up. We still feed them a bottle in the middle of the night because they get completely hysterical when they wake up! We tried everything and they just want a bottle. They are just now showing signs of sleeping through the night, but they have started teething again, so that makes it difficult as well. My husband and I just put our boys down in the crib at night and let them play around a little and then they eventually fall asleep on their own. Just remember too, every child is different, so every child will have a different sleep schedule!
Just keep going! I know it can be hard not sleeping, let me tell you, but it does get better...at some point! :o)

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J.I.

answers from Chicago on

All I have to say is... that my son wouldn't sleep through the night until I got rid of the pacifier. It took only 3 nights of having him wake up and cry it out (not ever go in there.. even the first time you hear him) and it was done. And slept through the night from that point till now.. 3 years old. Now I am not saying there hasn't been nights that he wakes up to go potty, nightmares, sick, etc. But for the most part, it is history. I read that book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child By Marc Weissbluth and followed it to a T.. and I swear by it. I now have an 11 month old who still uses her pacifier, but it isn't a problem..she sleeps through the night and has since 5 or 6 months when I would just not go in there and let her cry when she would wake up at the same time every night. And I know she wasn't hungry..because she wouldn't ever take a bottle at that time..so it is just purely for company. I will tell you that if and when you decide to take his pacifier away and commit to letting him cry ... you will be so happy you did that. Now.. the book says at night to let him cry for hours if need be... I think that would be a little extreme for me.. it only took 15 minutes the first night (which did feel like hours) and it was less every night from that point. Good luck and I hope you get some ZZZZzzs... because it isn't fun.

The bath part.. my doctors (both in arizona and here) said that that if you bath them everynight.. not to use soap and wash the hair everytime because it will cause their skin to dry out. The summer it is hard not to give them a bath at night when they have been swimming or running around and stuff.. but in the winter... they don't need to be fully bathed everynight.

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

I had similer problems with my little ones and tries using a mattress wedge (available at most stores) to help them sleep and it seemed to work. something about being slightly elevated helped them reach a deeper sleep quicker and stay asleep.

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't yet tried this with my child, as she's only 3 months, but my brother's little girl would wake up several times a night because she lost her pacifier. They would give it to her and she'd go back to sleep. Then they started keeping a dozen or so pacifiers in the crib. There was always some in her reach and she started re-pacifying herslf. One morning they woke up and she had 2 in her mouth! :) She ended up sleeping on top of some of them, but she didn't seem to mind.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.-

I have a 4 and a 1/2 month old and I was told that infants after 3 months need to self sooth themselves to sleep. That means we need to get rid of all items that might cause them to cry in the night. That includes us rocking them, feeding them, changing them, etc. If the pacifer works for your child, i read to put many in the crib so they can reach them on their own. The point is that they need to do it on their own with out your assistance. What has worked for us is that we put her to bed at 6 and wake her up before we go to bed, 10ish and that eliminates one time waking up in the night. At that point we feed her 7 ounces and she either wakes up at 5, we feed her more and she sleeps till 7. We tried it for a week and now she is sticking to it. Hope this helps.

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