9 Month Old Crying Everyday at the Daycare

Updated on June 07, 2008
A.M. asks from Columbus, OH
8 answers

We started my son at a daycare yesterday, he is turnung 9 months this week, my mom has been watching him before and my son has not been watched by anybody else.

Anyways, my son seems to be crying constantly at the daycare, today is his day-3 at school, he wont even take him bottle, so I feed him in the morning and the next time he eats is when he gets back home during lunch. The daycare has been really supportive in carrying him most of the time, but I am not sure how much longer is this going to happen?, is there something that I can do, I am scared about his health for crying so much..

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J.R.

answers from Cleveland on

The first week or so at daycare is rough -- there is no doubt about it. It does get better, though. The caregivers will become your friends, and your son will develop a bond with them. Your next posting will be, "My son cries and doesn't want to leave when I pick him up from daycare." :)

The most important thing is for you to feel comfortable that he is being well cared for. Our mama instincts are pretty good, so if you feel good about the daycare center, you're probably OK.

Hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Columbus on

One thing to keep in mind, also, is that he will pick up on any apprehension that you have. If you are comfortable with the provider and know that he is getting good care, then that needs to somehow come across from you. I am in no way saying that this isn't just as hard for you, but he will pick any thing from you. Just as someone else said, make drop off short and sweet. What did he do after he stopped crying? Did he start interacting with others or was he a little stand offish. If after he calms down, he starts playing with others, it may just take him some time to get used to everyone & every day will get better.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Cleveland on

A.-I strongly suggest you send him to an in home day care provider. it is more intimate there are less children so less germs. better yet subscribe to babysitters.com and find a reliable person to come to your house. my daughter was attacked in a state run facility so i took her out asap and have her in an in home environment and now she will be having a sitter come to me-even cheaper and the child does not have to be woken at 6:30 to get ready to rush out of the door-i wish you the best. seriously reconsider the big day care -good luck.

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N.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

At 9 months old he's probably starting to experience a little separation anxiety. That's about the age that my youngest started crying when we left him in the nursery at church. Be consistent with your routine, spend a minute or two with him at the sitters, maybe playing with a toy or reading a book, and then have the sitter distract him after you kiss him goodbye.

Being a working mom is hard and I constantly struggle with the guilt of leaving my babies with someone all day long. But as you adjust, your days will become easier and he'll be having so much fun playing with the other children that you'll have to drag him home at night. Stay strong and good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I use to work at a day care and I found that the ones that cry when dropped off will do it almost everyday even if they have been coming there for a year. Some kids just have a very strong attachment to thier parents. I mainly worked with 2 and 3 yr olds and what we did was hold the child and try to sooth them until they were ready to go play with the others. We never just sat them on the floor and let them cry. Your son probably gets held or gets put in a baby swing to help calm him down. I can't imagine some sitting a 9 months old on the floor and just letting him cry. Some kids would calm down in a couple minutes others it took a lot longer. Too bad your mom couldn't watch him, I don't like leaving my kids at a day care until they are at least 3 or older. I saw one lady say a in home day care is best. I disagree. There are regulations set at day cares including how many children to a teacher and thier are health codes set up and there is structure. Story time, crafts, going outside, motor skills etc. There is less chance that your child will be mistreated or negected at a daycare too. In someones home you never know whats going on. Not to say there aren't good in home daycares out there. You just really need to be careful these days..Hope this helps, L.

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K.J.

answers from Mansfield on

I think that an in-home day care would be the best! Its another mom that has a little more time to give the loving care that your son needs- its big change to get held and then all of the sudden he has to sit on the floor and cry it out. Daycares are used to the crying and it wont phase them to let him cry it out. I dont believe in the CIO method- I show my son love and answer his cries! lol Find a mom that could use the extra cash- it will help her out, and give you the piece of mind that you deserve! Also save you some money!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Only been a couple of days??? That's normal, give him a chance to get comfortable there. I wouldn't worry. It sucks that he's crying, but he'll adjust

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M.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son started daycare around 9 months too. It was harder for me to leave him at daycare than it was for him to watch me go! We also went through a transition period at the beginning and it really helped.

I remember the first day of handing him off at day care. I was a mess! I was only leaving him there for about 90 minutes, but I felt awful like I was abandoning him. I cried as soon as I got into the car and felt guilty the entire time I was away. Upon my return, there he was bouncing away in the exersaucer having a grand ole time! It was then I knew that he would be okay. Over time, he has grown to love his caretakers and we even call his main teacher 'Grandma Karen'!

I can assure you that this is normal and would happen whether your child was at a center or an in-home. One thing you can do to help your child is to establish a consistent but concise drop-off routine. Take him in, give him a hug and a kiss goodbye, and promise that you will return later so you can hear all about his day, then leave. Lingering over the goodbye, crying and making it dramatic will only cause more tension and anxiety for the child.

Now that my son is 16 months, we still have an occasional meltdown at drop-off. I get into my car, peek into the window, and he's already calmed down and exploring the place for the first basket of toys he can pull of the shelf and dump all over the place. If you are feeling apprehensive, call the center 15-20 minutes after drop-off and ask them how he's doing. Just continue to reassure him once you get home and demonstrate that you will always keep your promise to 'return' to him once the day is done.

And by the way, my son has never once had to 'cry it out' at daycare. If your daycare does that, then you may want to consider switching.

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