Advice on Making a Smooth Transition

Oh yes, it's normal! You love your child so much, you can't imagine loving anyone else at the same level. Don't worry - you will as soon as you start to see your new baby's face and personality.

Focus on your older child, not as a caretaker of the new baby, but as a person in her own right. She's 2.5 and shouldn't have a job as a helper. She's a big sister, a role model maybe, but she needs to know she will always have a special place in your home, your heart and your life. That doesn't mean she can't "help" and be complimented for it, but she shouldn't be relegated to that role - she's a toddler and there's going to be a new baby. They are 2 different beings. Let her know you miss her and how wonderful she has been for Grandma/Grandpa - but let her continue to be your special girl and not just a sister. You and Daddy are the parents of the new baby, just as you are parents of the big sister. BTW it's normal for the toddler to regress and be babyish (wanting a bottle, etc.) - just go with it.

When I had my 2nd child, I too had a c-section, and my eldest was 3 almost 4 years old.
Anyway, ahead of time, I talked to her about how I will be in the hospital for a few nights and that Daddy will take care of her and Grandma will help.
I made and showed her, a "list" of things, that Daddy will need to do and what HER routines are per meals/bedtime/naps/etc.
So this, made her feel better... because even if I was away... I was taking care of her... by making sure that she and Daddy knew what to do.

Then, while I was in the hospital, she could call me anytime. I had a phone in my room. And they could visit me anytime and even eat meals with me. Which she and my Husband did do.

My daughter, was REAL attached to me too. And I am a SAHM. So I was all she knew, per who was home with her the most.

But... my daughter did fine. She was a trooper. And I believe it was because, I, AHEAD of time, explained to her, what would happen and how I would be in the hospital and she need not worry, and she can visit me etc. and her new baby brother.

Even while I was pregnant, I spent my ENTIRE pregnancy, on Prepping, HER. We took photos often of her and my growing belly and she'd talk to her baby brother in my tummy and hug him and sing to him. We also napped together too.... and I explained it helps baby brother etc.
I made "my" pregnancy, about prepping, her. So that, by the time my son came home from the hospital, she was, informed about it and what happens and when... and I also explained to her that a baby cries and wakes often... and that Mommy breastfeeds him just like I did with her. But she need not worry. MOMMY will wake up for her baby brother. And that, I do not "expect" her to do anything... because I KNOW she is a little girl herself. And that, I do NOT expect her, to give or share all her things with her new baby sibling. Her things, are hers. It is special. I know that.
And all of this... made the "transition" for her, much easier.
She welcomed her baby brother.
She was so close to him and caring.
She was... confident about it all... because I spent my pregnancy on her... to help her adjust and talk to her about how "her" life... is special too and she need not change. She is a little child herself. I love her... because she is my "first" baby etc. So she was not jealous or insecure... about having her baby sibling.
AND I also made SURE... to tell my eldest, that I do NOT "expect" her... to be all grown-up and "helping" me with everything. I know... she needs downtime too and her own time, and to not feel pressured... by all the expectations that people will have upon her, as being the "eldest." I explained all of that to her... because I little child's mind, wonders. But I explained to my daughter... that she is who she is. And she needn't "change" just because she will be the oldest now. (I kept my expectations about her, age appropriate). She is still a little girl herself. But that Mommy will still be there for her.

And yes, I too wondered if I could love my 2nd child, just as much as I loved my eldest. It is normal. But... once you have another baby... there is TONS of love... to go around. It will be fine. Just fine.
Love... is limitless.

When I came home from the hospital after my c-section... my Husband took off of work for 1 week. Then my Mom took off work the 2nd week, to help me.

On the side note- TOTALLY normal to question!! And I will be honest- while I loved my second baby at first, it took a while for me to feel the same for him that I do for my first. I remember looking at him and thinking- no offense, kid, but I don't really know you yet! I absolutely fell in love with him, but it took time. I did not have any "issues," like PPD or anything. It was just the reality that I loved my first for who he is as a person in addition to his being my child, and my little newborn did not have that right away. You may fall instantly in love with your new one, but I just wanted to tell you how it worked for me so you don't feel bad if you have the same experience. And so you know that you will feel the same, even if it takes a little while :)

I had a friend stay with me at the house for the first 2 weeks I was home, and it was a life saver! She could hold baby so I could pay some attention to my other child and she took care of doing the dishes, laundry, etc so I had time to devote to both kids. I recommend accepting any help that is offered by anyone! We had our older son make a Build-a-Bear for baby and baby gave a present to his big brother at the hospital. My then 3 year old was a great help fetching diapers, picking up dropped blankets, etc, and helping with the care made him feel that he had a responsibility as big brother.

Best of luck to you!!!!

Totally normal... we all do it! Doesn't seem possible but it is amazing how much love we have to pass around!

My son was like this too. I kept emphasizing how great it will be to have a best friend forever. We got lots of books about being a big brother, got matching t-shirts with his saying he is the big brother and the baby with the little brother shirt. We also took him shopping to pick out his own special gift to present to his little brother. We got him a gift too and gave it to him at the hospital with a congratulations on being a big brother now motto. I made the focus very much about how special he is going to be in his little brother's life and got him very involved with helping in ANYTHING that he could...i.e. holding him (with supervision of course), taking pictures of the baby, light tapping for burping, grabbing stuff for mom, reading a story with us during breastfeeding, tell him that he can teach his brother stuff because he's older.... That was almost five years ago. There was a small bit of jealousy but it wasn't too bad. Always stay positive and try not to say things like "The baby needs me now..."

They are very impressionable when they are young so you have a real opportunity to build up your little one's self esteem and show her just how important she is to your family. My boys really are best friends and maybe it's because I brainwashed them in the beginning by telling them so often! LOL. This is a great thing! Use it to everyone's advantage. We can see you're a great mom by how you are trying to prepare her for the situation. I'm sure you will do great! :) Good luck.

You will love this baby just as much. Plenty of love to go around. Two year
olds usually adjust well. Just make sure when you feed the baby you
have something for big sister. A book, puzzle. Something she can do
while she sits with you. I never made a big deal about new baby. Just sort of incorporated baby into daily routine. Less is more if you know what I mean. Good luck.

Oh this brings it all back. My little guy was just 17 months when I had a c-section to have his little sister. The hardest part for him was while I was in the hospital. I stayed longer because my daughter ended up in the nicu. The thing he wanted to do most was just be with me. So he would just sit on the bed snuggled with me and we would watch one of his shows together. And I constantly reassured him that I would be back home and with him soon. When we got home, my son picked out a doll from a neighbor's garage sale and started taking care of it, like I was taking care of his sister. I had also stashed new toys, books, and videos so that when I really needed to take care of the baby and he was feeling needy he could get something new. Also his sister got him a present to give him when we came home.
I worried alot about whether I could love her as much and to be honest, my daughter was way more challenging then my son. I didn't get that initial bonding time, because she was in nicu, that I had had with my son. Also there was already another child around that needed me. So, it took me longer to get to know her. But wow I couldn't imagine loving her more today! They are both awesome kids.
Good luck!