Advice on New Sleep Pattern

Updated on August 02, 2008
C.D. asks from Apex, NC
16 answers

I have a son who is about to turn 8 months old. He has been sleeping through the night (6:30pm-6:30am) since he was 5 months old. In the last 3 weeks he has been waking up around 4:30am-5am and talking to himself. Sometimes he'll talk to himself for 30 or 45 minutes and then go back to sleep. Sometimes it builds into crying hysterically. When I go in to get him he's is distraught, doesn't want to be up, doesn't want comforting or holding. He will take a bottle, but I don't want to make it a habit so I try to only use feeding as a last resort. Not sure if this is common or if anyone has any ideas. I read something about how this could be the beginning of separation anxiety? He's losing a lot of sleep this way and so are we so any ideas would be much appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your replies. I appreciate the advice so much, it was my first experience posting a quetions here and I was so pleased that you all took the time to respond! I decided to go with the idea that maybe he was going to bed a little too early. I spent the last week moving his bed time to 7pm instead of 6:30. I think (knock on wood) that it has worked! He hasn't freaked out anymore and while he was still waking up early and talking to himself, the last two nights he has slept through completely until 6:30. So, yay! I think the later bedtime worked. Thank you all!

More Answers

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J.M.

answers from Memphis on

Teething, Growth Spurts, and Development Milestones can all cause this. He may need the extra bottle, in the case of growing, if its the only thing that calms him so give it to him when he needs. He'll be back on schedule soon. My 4 yr old still occasionally wakes at 5am (usually he sleeps until 8am) but he's old enough he just turns his bedtime music on and goes back to sleep. Sometimes he talks in his sleep too, a bit unnerving since we still have a monitor in his room.

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A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

My child did the same thing the only difference is you have been fortunate enough to actually get some sleep up until now. My poor baby didn't sleep through the night until she was nine months old. After she did begin to sleep through the night she would wake up hysterical. She would scream, and throw herself around. I really think she started having nightmares or night terrors. She is four now and mostly outgrown this but now I will hear her run down the hall directly in my room like she is being chased by a bear. I am no expert but it may be baby nightmares.

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C.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

my mother would catch me sitting up in my crib just staring out the window at the moon, later on , I began to sleep walk. Not sure what causes it, please go to ask.com
type in infants sleep disorders, or infant sleep habits, how to get my infant to sleep through the night, helping nightmares, helping soothe nightmares or maybe you can think of a better phrase once you get there. I hope you get some insight and lots of interesting info on your issue, hugs!

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S.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I have 3 kids, the youngest being 13 months old and my middle child did that for a while. It may be that your son may now be getting too much sleep. When my son was 8 months, he was going to bed at 7:30/8:00 pm with my other kids. Does he have a nap during the evening? If so, maybe take him out of it. It may be hard for a while but it will work. My children were on two naps a day at that point but every child is different. You may also try giving him more ounces in a bottle before bed if he's getting hungry early in the morning. I've found that if you do go in their room, it will start a routine and they'll expect it. Most times they have to soothe themselves back to sleep. I know it's hard but don't go in there unless he's crying to the point that he's very upset. There is a delicate balance but it works, both my boys wake up about 6:15 am and stay in there rooms until about 7 am playing and talking to themselves in their cribs. I do not go in there and do not bring them milk in their cribs. Good luck, update us on what happens.

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E.R.

answers from Jacksonville on

Put him to bed later in the evening (not hours - maybe just a half hour to an hour later) - 12 hours is an amazing amount of sleep at one time - Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

My suggestion would be to nurse him or give him a bottle to get him back to sleep. He is probably in a growth spurt and hungry.

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J.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

The other thing you could also try is setting his bedtime forward at 15 or so minute intervals, so that it is 7 or 730, if you want the extra hour in the morning, if he doesnt change. They are ever changing, so be patient and flexible...maybe he's working on a tooth.

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Mine just turned 9 mos and is doing the exact same thing. His ped. appt was yesterday and we talked about this a lot. Here is everything she said about it.

She said it's normal- it signals either a new developmental milestone or growth spurt coming, or is related to the sep. anxiety. She also said they wake up and remember there is stuff to do out there now, and they didn't before. So they will need you to do whatever your sleep routine is to get back to sleep if they aren't good at self soothing. (Mine is NOT.)

So the most important thing to do is NOT introduce any more steps to that routine. She said commonly parents will start trying anything to get baby back to sleep and now they have added all these steps or started doing things like putting baby in bed with them or giving them extra feedings in the night just to calm them down, and then you have to break them of those new things also. And getting them to self-soothe themselves back to sleep is important, they will gradually start to do that without needing you to be there also. I'm not sure how to get mine to do that, we are working on it. I still go to him when he cries, I can't help mmyself when he is crying and needs me. But I am trying not to pick him up right away, just talk to him and rub his back at first to see if that works. I feel your pain- mine has never been a good sleeper and I would give anything to sleep through the night.

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S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I always experienced these sleep disturbances w/ my son right when he was approaching a major developmental milestone... such as crawling, walking, multiple teeth, talking, etc., my ped. explained that infants/toddlers are geared to master their new task and that often when a major milestone is approaching there will be lots of schedule interruptions for sleep and/or feeding. I thought she was crazy... but it was about 2-3 weeks of this behavior and then he crawled.... then the same w/ walking, and other major developmental changes. Just as quickly as it came, it passed. Same with sep. anxiety (which may also be developmentally appropriate right now for your son) - it is a rocky road, but it passes! Just assure him you're there for him. In my personal experience w/ 2 boys (9 and 2) the little things you do to comfort them don't become habit as long as you're consistant in a routine w/ them... sometimes they just need a little extra mommy love :).

I bought a terrific book called Watch me Grow I'm 1-2-3... it talks about alot of the developmental changes in babies/toddlers. They change so quickly! Good luck - you're doing a terrific job!

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T.D.

answers from Knoxville on

I use to give my son a bottle and brush his teeth before laying him back down, that was me though. do you think he might be teething?
I probly wasn't much help but if you do decide to go the route of the bottle on those nights you just can't get him to sleep just make sure you do brush his teeth before laying him down, well he might not have teeth yet but still clean the gums and make him stay awake till you lay him down so he doesn't get use to falling asleep while eating. For babies who are hungry the only thing they know is that their stomach hurts and that might be it.
I wish you lots of luck, T.

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A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

What is causing him to wake? Is it bad dreams or night terrors? Does music soothe him? I agree, I wouldn't give him a bottle to soothe him. I may lead into a habit. I would try a "snuggle buddy". My son had a stuffed animal that he has slept with since he was about 9 months old. It helps give them that added security. When you put him to bed get him in the habit of holding and cuddling with his snuggle buddy before he goes to sleep. He will relate it to security and when he wakes that may help soothe him back to sleep. It's worth a try.

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

S. F is right. it is usually a growth spurt or developmental milestone approaching that causes this kind of sleep issue. sometimes, in the case of a major growth spurt, they are not getting enough calories during the day, and they really need to eat at night. my advise would be to just continue on with what you are doing, and you will be surprised in 3 weeks or so when your baby gets up and walks, crawls, or says bye bye with a mouth full of teeth. just make sure that your son is getting good naps during the day to make up for some lost sleep at night.

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S.M.

answers from Charlotte on

HI C.,
Your a great Mom, and I dont think him going to bed at 630pm is to early, but you may try 7pm or 730pm depending what time he woke up from his last nap. ( I have two children and they are both very different, but my son still took 2 naps at that age and my daughter did too most days but not all and she would wake up at 3pm from her nap and down to bed again around 7 or 730pm. And since you stated when you go into him he isn't wanting to wake up let him cry it out for 20 to 30 minutes. They say no more than 30 minutes. Also maybe go in quietly dont talk to him just give smiles and see if his diaper is wet. Cuz sometimes when my daughter wakes up and the cry is louder I'll go in and she had a poop. Keep us posted. Hang in there. It gets better. I always stuck w/a bedtime routine,(and still do and they are now 4 years old and 20 months) bath, books, singing while feeding, say our prayers and then i'd say nigh nigh and give a kiss and leave the room. Sometimes they would cry 20 to 25 minutes and sometimes they would zonk out. I found when they were more active afew hours before bed, wearing themselves out they zonked out, but when there wasnt much activity bedtime can be more of a struggle. Sometimes my daughter still wakes up at 5am but I usually dont go in unless her cry is one of help. It may sound weird but different cries mean different things and she is alot better at soothier herself than my son, cuz I went in to much and allowed him to sleep with me a lot and he still has trouble at times staying in his bed and sleeping through the night. Hang in there.

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J.A.

answers from Raleigh on

I went through the same problem with my son, and the only thing I did was extend his bedtime about a half an hour and that worked for me. I hope this works for you, however that is a normal time for kids to wake up for going to bed at 6:30 my son used to wake up and talk for about an hour or so and I loved it cause I could stay in bed but now he wakes up calling me. So try it and see if that works

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C.T.

answers from Knoxville on

He may be teething. My baby is 7 mo old and started doing the same thing. At her check up the doc asid she will have teeth soon. Try ambesol or teething tablets. Sometimes it works. Good luck!

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N.K.

answers from Nashville on

Hi C.,
I'm a mother of 4 boys. Have you tried putting him to sleep later? None of my boys ever slept that long every night! If he takes a nap during the day then I think you can be very sure he's getting plenty of rest. I would try putting him to bed at 8:00 and he'll probably sleep until 6:30 or so. My 10 month old goes to sleep at 9:00 and gets up at 7:00. He takes a two hour nap and the pediatrician says that's plenty of sleep.
Good luck!!
N.

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