Advice on Tubal Verses Vasectomy

I had my tubes tied after the birth of my daughter, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. I lost all my sexual desire. My fiance and I used to have sex all the time, several times a week. Now we are lucky to do it once a week, because I have no desire. It's not because we have a baby, because this is #5 for us, so we have plenty of "sitters". I had read about it on the internet and it said that was possible. Several of the men I work with have had a vesectomy, and they say that have not lost any of their sex drive or desire at all. If I could do it all over again, I would hav my fiance get a vasectomy instead.

I had my tubes tied a year ago when having my c-section. I've had NO problems w/it whatsoever. My periods are the same,no hormone problems of any sort. I fell just as I did before. Sometimes tho, I have to admit I'm a bit saddened that I can't ever have anymore kids. I mean, we don't want anymore, we already have 3 and I'm getting too old for the baby game. I'm 41 now. But just the thought that that part of my life is officially over bothers me at times. If I had to do it over again, i think I'd make my hubby do it.

S.

Have your husband do it. It is less recovery time and pain. It takes a weekend. For you it is considered major surgery and there is a lot more involved. Now I understand if you just had a baby vaginal or by c-section to do it then but now it would be better to have him do it. Plus you won't feel like it is final even if you guys don't want anymore, you getting it done to you can make you feel a little depressed like this is it. Good luck

Ask your doctor about Essure, its amazing!

Hi N.,
When I was married, my husband decided to have the surgery...after all,.. I had the kids. After we got divorced, I decided to go ahead and have a tubal and I realized after doing that, my husbands choice to get fixed was the best. I hated every minute of recovery but then again, Im a wimp. They filled me with gas to do the surgery which settled in my shoulders, I literally felt like i had been hit by a truck and it took a little over a week to recover. (Dr said normal was 2-3 days) Since I had my tubes tied, I have never been the same. Of course, you have to keep in mind that everyone is different too, my girlfriend had a tubal and she did fantastic, she had no problems at all and basically no recovery time. She was glad she did it. Im sorry that probably doesnt help much, but I thought I'd give you a good and a bad scenario.

Whatever you decide,..Good Luck to you!

ok wow whoever posted right before me is misinformed, a tubal is no longer major surgery it is an outpatient procedure they make a small incision at your belly button and another very small one at your panty line and you are released that day. I had mine done when I was young and they do say that there is a risk that your periods will be heavier or have more cramping but it acutally made mine better, as for hormone issues there are none, or none that i have noticed and it's been 4 years now i got them done when I was 21 after my third child, my husband had a vasectomy at the same time we were not taking chances and I was in no more pain than he was and i found that the procedure itself was easier for me to go through emotinally and mentally than it was him, a lot of guys get real funny when it comes to needles and that part of thier body, and they do not put men to sleep for it, my recovery time was no more than after my delivery, a couple days and i felt fine and there were no stiches to remove or anything. so if your hubby is at all worried about getting a vasectomy I would tell you to go ahead and get a tubal it is no more tramatic and the recovery time is no longer if you do. good luck. most doctors are willing to set up a consult and answer any questions as well.

Hello N., I had my tubal done sixes years ago and it was nothing. there was no pain after wards. I have noticed no changes in any form of being a woman. My husban also had his vasectomy done six years ago. he had it done on a thursday and went out dirt biking on sunday. So in the long run we are both fine no changes: besides the fact that we dont have to worry about making any more boys..
one thing you should think about is if you get yours done and he don't there is a chance of tubal preg. H. this helps you two in your choices. when a man has a vacet done after every year that passes they begin to throw live fertal sperms. good luck.. H.

I also told my husband "I had them, you get to make sure we don't have anymore!" The procedure for tubals has definitely come a long way, it is no longer as involved as it once was but it still has a longer recovery period than a vasectomy. If you were having it done right after birth the recovery would just go long with recovering from birth and the women I know who did that said they never noticed any additional pain from the procedure. But the one woman I know who had it done well after birth said she was still feeling discomfort for weeks afterwards. My husband had the vasectomy and drove himself home and spent one day in bed and one on the couch with me waiting on him hand and foot and telling him how brave he is (who says they are not all big babies?!?) Now he loves that our sex life is as good as always and he is very happy he had the procedure. But as good as our experience was with a vasectomy I still think it is something you decide for yourselves. Research it and talk to your OB and a urologist and get the facts before you decide.

Remember the tubal is only 99.5% effective. I had 4 boys and had my tubes tied, cut and burned in 1990 after my last son. I had my only daughter in 1997. I had a c-section and the Dr. told us that my tubes were still tied. And that they must have grown together microscopically for me to get pregnant. I don't know what the effective rate is for vasectomy though. Good luck.

I've had 2 c-sections and dispite being asked by my OB if I wanted to have my tubes tied while she was performing the c-section, I declined. I feel the same way a few other women who posted did. I was only 23 when my youngest was born, and didn't want to lose the possibility of having children in the future (just in case). My husband only wanted 2 children, and because of that, he wanted to be the one to have the vasectomy. It's a very simple proceedure for men. Granted, the proceedure is laporoscopic for women now too (the tiny incisions one of the other women was talking about), BUT they still have to puncture muscle to get to the tubes. I've had laporoscopic surgery before for fertility reasons, and dispite the small incisions, you're still in quite a bit of pain and there is still a 6 week recovery process because of the fact that they have to go through muscle tissue, put gas in your abdomen to get to the tubes, etc. Men have slight discomfort for about 2 days following the proceedure, and they don't have muscle tissue that needs to heal. Just some things to think about. Good luck. :)

I just had mine done last year, and it wasn't bad at all. It was outpatient, laparoscopic. The site of the surgery didn't hurt much but you get shoulder pain from the air they put in your abdomen to see what they're doing...of course, they give you good drugs for it. :-)
Overall, a vasectomy is less risky because it's only local anesthesia versus general. It's also cheaper because it's done in a physician's office rather than a hospital.
The only reason I opted for the tubal is because my husband refused to have a vasectomy...too chicken, I think. I had some mild sadness only because it seems so final, it's weird to have an option we're used to having taken away from you. But since I was also sure I would not have more children, the sadness was only fleeting - it's GREAT not worrying about birth control. It won't affect your hormones, because your ovaries produce those regardless of what is done with your tubes.
Take care!

Hi N.,

I had my tubes done last April. My husband was willing to be the one but I already knew and trusted my Ob/GYN who had delivered both our babies so we went that direction. It was an easy process and everything is the same as far as my mood and my periods. He went in through my belly button so I don't even have a scar. You feel pretty sore after the procedure but it only lasts a couple of days. Atleast with me. I had it done on a Thursday and was back to chasing the kids before the weekend was over.

On the way to have the procedure done I did feel a sadness. It wasn't that I was making the wrong decision but the finality of it all. Just make sure your ready and it's your decision. I'm 40 with a 1 and 3 year old.

Doctor Sosnowski at Associates in Ob/Gyn did mine. Just in case you don't have someone picked out. Either way you can set up a consult. They'll explain the differnet procedures to you and then you can call back to set up your appointment. That's what I did. It gave me time to take it all and weigh all the options.

Good Luck
Cathy

Hello N.. My husband and I have had the same debate and neither of us has been through the procedure. We have a couple of friends who had a vasectomy and they only had discomfort for the weekend. Personally, I feel that I went through Labor and had to do it without an epideral (sp error) and I feel that he should get a vasectomy. It is less painful for him and a quicker recovery time. Best of luck.

My husband had a vasectomy and we have never regret it. My birthmom had her tubes tied and has had bad pain when she ovulates. I have friend whose periods just have never been the same. Vasectomy was fast and my husband just could not do anything major for the weekend. If you have any more questions you can email me.

Take Care
jo

I have had my tubes cut and tied. I didnt go through any hormone changes. It was not hard for my emotionally at the time I got it done but now 4 years later I wish that I would have chose another option due to me kinda wanting another child. If I go and get a reversal it will cost me about 6 to 7 thousand dollars to have it done. If you think that will want any more children then I suggest the vasectomy over a tubal. Good Luck with your decision!

I had my tubes tied, but it was done at the same time as my second c-section ... so it really was no big deal. I didn't experience any extra emotional or hormonal issues (aside from those I was experiencing because of just having a baby!), and my periods are the same now as they were before. However, I've heard over and over again that a vasectomy is MUCH simpler with a shorter recovery time. I have a friend who just had a vasectomy and while he did have some discomfort initially, he was completely back to normal in less than a week.

If I were faced with the same decision as you, I would definitely encourage my husband to have it done.

I always tell the men I know (and my husband) that I did enough work having all of these heads coming out from my privates that thats the least he can do. Vasectomy is a much easier surgery in fact, my husband came out so fast that I thought he had changed his mind! It will not change anything involving your hormones or anything but I do believe women deal with these type of things a little more emotionally than men do, for whatever reason.
Anyway, the decision has to be yours but birthing and raising the kids seems to be the woman's "responsibility" though I have to say my husband is a good guy. I couldn't do it without him. Good luck

i'm getting my tubes tied after my baby is born this year cause my hubby had a vascetomy per the request of this 1st wife and this will be our second child together since....so i figured i beter get fixed since his didnt work......i'm greatful but now i'm done,,,lol

There are many factors in who gets the procedure done, and why.... Yes, a Vasectomy is easier on the man... He get's it done in the doctors office, and has a faster healing time.....
As for a woman, it is usually best to have it done after having a child.....
There are things that can happen such as infection with both, hormone changes, etc.
Here is for Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome:
www.tubal.org/symptoms_of_pts.htm
most doctors do not, and will not tell you about this... I just happened to get lucky, and run across this on another one of these messages.......
Here is even for the Vasectomy:
http://www.vasectomymedical.com/vasectomy-pain.html

But, I will tell you that as many other women have stated that their tubals were fine, and they have/had no problems. That was not the case for me!!!!!
This is not to scare you, and I in no way want you to be terrified (it can just happened).....
It depends on how many surgeries you've had in the past, and how much scar tissue you have as well when getting the procedure done!!!!!!

I'll spare alot of the detail.....
I had mine done after at the hospital after my last child, and had to wait a little longer than I should have due to her being born on Sunday. So, my epidural had came lose. So, we went w/ a spinal, and a local...
Needless to say I felt a lot of my surgery and had to be put under!!!!
It was in no way anyone's fault, but you need to take into consideration all previous surgeries you've had. That way you can decide how the procedure/anesthesia should be done!!!!!

Other then that I'd say, I've had the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through....

I just wanted you to be aware that not everything goes so smoothly, and I wasn't trying to scare you!!!!