Almost 5- Diapers at Night?!

Updated on December 17, 2010
B.F. asks from Tiffin, OH
22 answers

Hi everyone!
I would really appreciate any advice regarding my 4, almost 5 year old son. He is still wearing a diaper at night, and it is soaked every morning.
I have him go potty before bath and then before bed, and first thing when he wakes up. He seems to always go a lot in the morning.

I have just been trying the wait until he has a dry diaper to begin having him wear underwear, but that is obviously not happening!
We have talked about peeing only when he is standing up, not while in bed...he has a bathroom connected to his bedroom.

So,...what should I do? I am concerned about waking him up at night because a.) he has had sleeping issues in the past b.) I'm scared to wake up my 18 m. daughter who is finally on an amazing going and staying to sleep on her own schedule!

I feel like something needs to be done soon!?!?
Has anyone dealt with this before?
Thank you so much for your feedback!

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

i was a bed-wetter until i was about 6 or 7 and i finally outgrew it. The absolute best thing my mom did for me was Not Making A Big Deal out of it. I had waterproof pads under my sheets ( i also shared a bed with siblings--i was #4 out of 5 kids with a single mom) and she would just hug me and let me know that i wasnt in trouble for it because i really couldnt help it. It was horribly embarrassing to me but it would have been devastating and probably traumatiizing if it was blown out of proportion by my mom or siblings. Kids WILL outgrow it, so i would just keep giving him a diaper for nighttime until he outgrows this.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

One of my sister's 3 boys had incontince and a very small bladder. I know he took meds but don't know what they were. He only had accidents at night .

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Night-time Dryness... is not something BIOLOGICALLY attained, until even 7 years old and is NORMAL. PER Pediatricians as well.
It has to do with the body's organ development/brain connections etc. It is NOT the same as daytime pottying.
Boys...are often later.... in attaining the biological development of it.

Your son is NORMAL.

My daughter, was already 5... and still in night-time diapers. No biggie.
I simply use waterproof bed-pads under my kids, just in case of accidents and its no big deal and it makes clean-up much easier. I got my waterproof bed pads from Amazon.

all the best,
Susan

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S.L.

answers from Johnson City on

Thanks for this question and all the answers. My son will almost be 4, he only wets a few nights a week, but would rather keep him in a diaper to keep from washing sheets so many times. Makes me fell better to know this is all normal and a long process to stay dry at night :) My 1st and only child so far so I wasn't sure.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My daughter was 5 in October and still wears a pull up at night. She is soaked most every morning. She has told me some mornings that she did not pee in her pull up only to take it off and it is very wet. She has no concept of how to not pee at night. Her doctor is not worried so I am not either. It takes some kids longer to figure it out.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter at almost 7 still does not wake on her own to pee at night, She never has. But she pretty recently began being able to hold her pee all night without wetting the bed. It's a body maturity thing... his is just not ready yet. I wouldn't worry about it until your son is about 7 or 8.

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J.M.

answers from Scranton on

My daughter is 7 and still in pull-ups at nite. She has other bladder issues though but her nephrologist says is ok because it runs in my family. My brother was a bed wetter untill about 8 and my grandfather till about 12! Now my 3 year old son wakes up every morning dry! I still put a pulk-up on him just in case but am thinking of ditching them. Just wanted to let you know i know the feeling. Dr gave her a med to help for sleepovers but i havn't tried it yet.

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I have not read your other answers, so please forgive me if this is repetitive. But - night time bed wetting has nothing to do with potty training. Some children have bladders that do not grow as fast as the rest of them, and there is also some kind of enzyme that one's body should produce in order to signal the kidneys to stop producing urine at night. Bed wetters do not produce enough of this enzyme. So, there's a physical reason that your son is wetting the bed. It doesn't matter how much you or he want him to stop wetting the bed, he will just have to grow out of it.

That being said, my older daughter (who is a bright, motivated kid and was potty trained at 2 years) wet the bed until she was almost 5. Then, one day it was like a light switch turning on - she just stopped wetting the bed and that was that! But up until that point, she was so frustrated and ashamed of herself for having to wear pull-ups at night. We kept telling her it was not her fault, but she knew her friends didn't wear pull-ups and it made her sad. It helped some that my husband had been a bed wetter until he was 8 (yes, really) and he understood what she was going through and could reassure her that she would grow out of it.

My cousin's little boy wet the bed until he was 7. He grew out of it as well (he's now 8).

Don't worry about it. Buy the pull-ups until he stays dry at night. No big deal. This is not your failure as a parent, nor is it your son's failure. It is what it is, and he'll grow out of it.

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A.O.

answers from Columbus on

Have you tried letting wear undies to bed? Get a waterproof matress cover. Maybe if he feels the wetness it would make him get up?!?! I sometimes think that the diapers are TOO dry feeling. Is your daughter in the same room? I think i would try and worry about her later. I think i would also try getting him up at night. Keep the lights low so he does not get loud?!?! maybe? sorry to not be of much help. My son was just about 4 when he potty trained, but he did all of it at once.

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M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

ok. so my six year old just stopped needing night time diapers TWO WEEKS ago. so i know how you feel. we tried everything... (including chiropractic and acupressure treatments, uncomfortable cloth diapers... limiting fluid intake after dinner... getting up in the middle of the night and carrying him to the bathroom...we even tried hypnosis for bedwetting...) i think some light switch in his brain just had to switch, and there was nothing we could do to make it happen... except wait. and buy huge diapers.

anyway. he sleeps now without a diaper or underwear, just pajamas. i think having nothing there makes him feel different and subconciously he knows he can't go. although we did this a few months ago and we ended up washing his sheets and blankets every day. so he wasn't ready yet...

he's really motivated by money, so i've been giving him a dollar when he wakes up dry. so he can buy a lego set that he really wants.

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M.H.

answers from Charlotte on

B.,

Your son is still so young! It is completely normal for an almost 5 year old not to be potty trained at night. Waking up dry can be very hard for children. You think you have problems? My son just turned 7 a few days ago, and he is STILL soaking wet in the morning. It has gotten so bad, that he absolutely STINKS in the morning of his urine. I have been giving him baths every morning now because of his disgusting stench, and washing his sheets (and mattress pad) every morning b/c it wreaks of urine. I also have him go to the bathroom TWICE before bed - once right before I get him ready for bed, and once right before he is ready to get into bad and go to sleep. He is a deep sleeper, so he would never wake up in the middle of the night to pee. One of these days (hopefully by the time he is 8), it will "click" with him and he will make it through the night dry. Every child is different. Don't worry about your almost 5 year old. That's nothing!

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C.H.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 6 and still soaking a pull up every night...and i mean soaking! She's completely normal and it's just something that runs in my family. My brother wet his bed when he was a boy for years! Doctor says it's normal. My nephew is 5 and completely in underwear. My daughter mentions it, but is totally fine putting on a pull-up. We don't make a big deal out of it...it's more annoying for me to change the sheets...but she doesn't know that! Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Lots of kids wet at that age. Their bladders still need to grow a little. Just keep him in pull up and dont say anything to him because he can not control it.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Like all the other ladies have said-perfectly normal.

You might try a diaper liner that will absorb extra, bigger size diaper, or maybe try underjams since they are designed for older kids maybe they will absorb more (we never used them much since we cloth diaper so I'm not sure).

His body just needs more time to develop-gotta be physically and neurologically ready to stay dry at night.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

You need to restrict his liquids after 6 pm. You should also be talking to your doctor. There may be a physical reason.Everyone's bladder grows at their own rate. My son still can have accidents at 12. Some kids are heavy sleepers too. You mention past sleep issues. It could be related to that? Does he have any developmental delays? My son took a while to potty train too. Girls are much easier than boys to train. It also sounds the issue is only at night? I would discuss your concerns with your child's doctor. there is medicine for it but I don't like giving my kids any medicine unless there is no other way.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

It's not conscious. You can't tell him not to pee while in bed and only pee standing up. It's a physiological thing his mind and body have to over-come and you can't teach him to do otherwise. Did you or your husband wet the bed for a while? It can run in the family and happens more for boys than girls.

Bribing doesn't work either - it's not a choice he's making. He doesn't wake up needing to pee and decide to just go in bed. So, with bribing, you end up actually punishing when he's wet:( It's not his fault, don't punish him.

Anyhow, there's really nothing you can do but wait it out. Especially if you don't want to get him up. We tried getting my son up before we went to bed at 11 and again when my husband got up for work at 6:30. My son still had a wet pull-up most mornings. So we quit trying. He'll grow out of it, they all do.

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

I really have no advice but wanted to let you know that it is really no big deal. My almost 6 year old is also in the goodnight pullups at night and is usually very wet. Doctor says it is completely normal, no concerns or problems. It was h*** o* him because his little brother is dry at night and wears underwear at night, but every kid is different. I've tried not having him drink 2 hours before bed and he still is wet. Only once in a great while he is dry but can't seem to find any reason for it.

M.P.

answers from Provo on

I wet the bed till I was 11. It sounds like what happened to me. My bladder never caught up to the rest of my growth until I was 11. It sucked. I can tell you right now.
Keep using pullups or diapers. Instead of a diaper doubler that you can just throw away, I'd suggest using a hemp doubler. They absorb sooo much pee. I use them with cloth diapering at night. You can wash them, this way in case your son was like me, your not wasting hundreds of dollars on doublers. Just food for thought. You can message me if you want any recomendations or more other information.
I was also put on a medication that helped me out a lot. I don't remember what it was called, but was a nose spray. If it continues to get bad, you could try that route.

D.H.

answers from New York on

For situations like this, potty training must occur at night as well. Set your alarm to go off at least once and maybe twice a night. Get your little guy up and to the toilet; prop him up and point it for him if you have to! We did this for our son when he was a little younger than yours. It took a while but now he wakes on his own...and usually climbs into our bed (either having gone potty or he'll go when he wakes us climbing in and we tell him to go). If you want to avoid the middle-of-the-night sheet changes and quick showers, you can keep the nighttime diapers on until they are dry for several weeks. He may have lapses. Another possibility is to layer waterproof pads and sheets so that all you have to do is strip off the wet set, toss in the wash and switch to the dryer in the morning (and swab him down with baby wipes). Best to you and your son!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my daughter (just turned 5) is wearing a pull up every night... she is soaked every morning.. my son.. age 3 is in undies all night and wakes up dry..

you cannot teach someone not to peee when they are sleeping..

There is no point in waking him up to go potty as that doenst teach him how to wake himself up..

it is develoopmental. his brain has to develop enough to keep him from peeing when he is asleep. it takes time. I dont want to discourage you but my friends son is 15 and still wets teh bed several days a weeek.

S.L.

answers from New York on

Dont stress about, lots of boys have accidents till 6 or so. Keep him in diapers for a while longer, then eventually you could try getting him up at 10:-00-11:00 or whenever you are going to bed and take him to the bathroom then IF it isnt gping to wake up his sister

K.E.

answers from Spokane on

My daughter just turned 5 in Sept. and she wears the Goodnites to bed. They are like pull-ups, only more absorbent. She is and has been fully trained for a while now, but she still wets at night. I think it's easier to buy them than have to wash bedding every single morning. People have said rude things to us about it, but I don't care. I just do what works for us. :D

It really isn't a big deal unless you make it a big deal. My son was the same way, and he wore Goodnites until he was 8 years old! I knew that at some point he would stop wetting at night, and he finally did. He's 10 now, and never has an accident. I say don't worry about it, and he will stay dry at night when he's able to. Good luck :D

K.

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