I went through a very similar experience. I think it was far worse, though. It is very hard to let go of the hurt, especially when your husband never apologizes or otherwise shows that he feels bad about what he did.
First thing is something my mom said. She told me "you've got to get this poison out!" I had to talk with someone. At first, it felt really good to talk with my friends, but after a while, i felt I needed to talk to someone who could DO something about it! Granted, I knew my husband was suffering from a personality disorder, so I wanted to talk to someone who could do something about addressing his mental issues. But talking to a counselor helped me immensely. She helped me sort out what was normal behavior for him and what was just plain mean or hurtful. After being hurt so much and so often, you sort of find everything he says or does to be hurtful.
I also read a lot of articles about forgiveness. I am LDS, and LDS.org has a lot of resources for that. At first, I just had excuses why I didn't or couldn't forgive my husband. I would say, "but this is different!" and would harden my heart and couldn't forgive him. But I persisted in reading the articles, and eventually a few got through to me.
The counselor also helped me understand things from my husband's point of view. It helped me not overreact to some of the things he says.
And as horrible as this sounds, even after things were much better and my husband was actually acting decent, I had to pray for help to not hate him. Because even after you pull all the darts out of a piece of wood, there are holes in it. There are wounds that take time to heal, and even after that, there are scars that remind you of the pain. You still remember! I went through 4 years of absolute torture when my husband was mean, violent, and totally cuckoo in the head. I had to be patient with myself. It's been a year since he really improved and got to the point where he only has crazy episodes twice a month or so. Sometimes I still can't stand to be near him.
Your friend probably can't do this quite yet, but I just started something that is helping both my husband and me. I put a dry erase board (actually, to be pretty, it's a large photo frame with a white piece of paper in it, and we write on the glass) by the door from our bedroom to our bathroom. I write something positive about him, thank him for something he did, or even apologize for something on it. At first he scoffed and said, "What, is the the 'Positive Affirmation Board?'" But he started writing sweet things on it, too. For example, when I wasn't feeling well and he was up working late, he took his computer downstairs and tucked me in bed so I could sleep even though he still had to be up. I told him how sweet it was. I don't think he realized how much I appreciated it until I wrote it down. Best of all, it encourages similar behavior in the future! But mostly, it keeps things positive in our marriage. There's so much to complain about, so many negative thoughts that run through my head, even a year later. But that board makes me stop and think of something good about him. And it makes him feel better about himself. When people feel good about themselves, they feel better about other people and treat them better.
As difficult as their behavior sometimes makes it, men need to feel like Superman to their wives. When they don't deserve that title and don't feel it from their wives, they decide they can't even try anymore. It's a downward spiral. Building them up is a great way to get them to behave better, even though you just want to kick 'em to the curb.
These are all very difficult lessons I've learned over the past 4 terrible years. It's hard to let the anger go, but if you make it a goal to let it go, and allow yourself enough time, you CAN do it. The specific things I've mentioned help you do it.
By the way, it also helps to know that someone else has gone through the same thing, that you're not the only one who somehow ended up married to a jerk. And to all those people out there who are judging this girl for marrying a jerk, I can tell you that people aren't always who they seem. My husband was not a jerk when I married him. People hide things about themselves when you're dating. They're on their best behavior. But everything comes out after you've been married a while, and ESPECIALLY when times get tough (like a difficult pregnancy). AND people change, too. People are always changing, and it's not always for the best. Being married doesn't exempt anyone from changing!