Any Addvice My Friend Just Had Twins

Hi C.! A friend of mine had twin boys right before I had my oldest. She told me that having them on the same schedule was important because then they both slept at the same time so she could get a "break". Also not being afraid to ask for help when they are little...aka friends spending the night to take care of the twins so that they can get some sleep once in a while is really important too. For the older kids it will be important not to let the twins and their "cute factor" over shadow them and make them feel left out or ignored. Having one new baby is hard enough...but twins is really double trouble to sibs.

Bring food!! Cooking is a nightmare when you are getting no sleep. If you can set up a rotation with her neighborhood or friends network to bring meals 2 or 3 times a week you will be a lifesaver! I would also offer to watch her older kids as often as you can. School is starting so the 7 yr old will be busy, but the four year old could probably use some play time. If her 4 year old goes to preschool you could also offer to drive her kiddo there and back. I can't imagine driving is going to be easy now.

Of course anything you do we be so welcomed. You are obviously a great friend for just listing this posting and she is lucky to have you!
Have fun and good luck
D.

I have to agree also that the best thing for you to do is bring her food! It is a struggle to cook with one let alone two new babies! She is lucky that she has a 4 and 7 yr. old, they can be a bigger help than 2ish. They can bring her diapers and even bottle feed (with supervision of course).

Hi C.,

Here is a web address for advice:

http://cosmos.phy.tufts.edu/~kdo/children/twins-advice.text

Hope this helps. D.

I personally don't have twins but I do have twin nephews. Their mother religiously kept them on the same eating and sleeping schedule. If you don't then all you are doing is feeding and trying to put them to sleep all day long. Good luck to your friend!

Hi i am a mom of 4 year old twins. The best advice i can give a new mom of twins is to get those babies on a schedule. Eating and sleeping schedules are the only thing that got me through the day. Not to mention that the babies were content and happy. The older they got the more trust they gained and they knew what to expect. In order for me to get anything done they had to be on the same schedule, so don't confuse what i am saying. From day one, we had them eating at the same time, no matter what, and napping at the same times. Of course they sometimes didn't sleep the same amount of time, but at least they were both in their cribs thinking it was nap time. If you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to ask me...i hope this helps your friend.
K. Z

Hi C.,
I have 16 month old twin girls! THe best advice I can give to you is to make her meals!! Not having to make dinner was the best thing that anyone ever did for me. I had people who offered to make meals and I didn't turn it down!

I also tried to keep my girls on a schedule together. When one woke up in the morning, I would wake the other up so they took they same naps! I didn't however wake them up in the middle of the night if the other woke up. My girls learned very quickly to sleep through the night. They were only 5 weeks old when they did! I think if you wake the other up, it becomes like a habit to wake up!

Tell her to hang in there! It is very hard and it is even harder when they walk. tell her to treasure this time. It flew by so fast for me. I already forget how small they were and it was only 16 months ago!

I have twin 5 year olds and I agree with most of the advice. The sleep deprivation is the hardest part. As much as I tried I could not get them to eat on the same schedule at night. If there is any way you could get her kids out of the house for a couple hours so she can sleep that would really help. I actually used to fantasize about taking our car to a parking lot to get some uninterrupted sleep! Meals are huge too.

But the best advice I ever got was from the person who followed up on my boys for 2 years after they were in the NICU. When I asked about their fighting (when they got older) she said that unless they are going to physically hurt each other do not get involved. To this day my boys rarely ever tattle and they do an excellent job of working things out themselves. They don't come to me to referee their fights. This has saved me from getting frustrated and drawn into their arguments.

Lastly, I wish I had asked for more help. People would say, "Call me if you need anything." But it's hard to make that call sometimes.

Tell your friend that with each day it gets easier. People used to say to me that having twins was easy because they have each other to play with, but at the time they were babies and it was anything but easy. I just wanted to scream when they said that! But, now I can see that they were right. It really is easier now. They have the same interests and they like to play the same kind of games.

Tell her to hang in there!

I do not have twins, but twins run in my family. The best advice I could give would be BABYSITTING. I know that they are young right now, but a couple of hours would go a LONG way to restoring mom's energy. When they get a little older, you can always invite them for the night. We did this when my one aunt had twins when I was 16. They would come over one or two weekends a month. We loved it. To this day, I am closer with those boys than any of my other family members, and my aunt still talks about how that saved her sanity. It gave her peace, and we got a really fun relationship with the boys.

Meals ready to eat! Make up some dinners, like spagetti or chili w/ cornbread on top. All you have to do it get the aluminum trays. Mix up the cornbread, pour the chili in the pan. Pour the cornbread on top and bake in the oven till golden brown....cool....and freeze! Same goes for the spagetti, do the same with lasangna or noodle cassoroles. The ideas are endless!

The best advice you can give her is to accept help. Find friends, church helpers or anyone they can to do laundry, watch other kids, prepare meals, etc. I was lucky in that my in-laws were out of town and helped us hire a nanny for the first few months. Of course, this could be because my daughters were two months premature, in the hospital for six weeks before coming home (and nursing) and on medicine and monitors when they did come home. It would be great to have had healthy kids, but it is what it is. They are fine now. Accepting help can be hard, especially if you didn't need it for your earlier children, but it can make the difference. Her husband's help will also be needed for her to get sleep and streamline the first few months.

I'd have to go with meals or even better would be to go over and clean for her. Bring your own supplies, mop, bucket, sponge, ect, so that you don't have to bug her with questions on where to find things.

I am a SAH mom of 4, daughter 16, daughter 2 1/2 and baby girls 4 mos. The first 2 1/2 mos were the hardest. Sleep? What's that? My husband and I got advice from many parents, most helpful was from mom & dad of quads- during the night feed them both at the same time. By doing this we gained 2 hrs sleep the first night we tried it. Also, check with doctor regarding rice cereal our girls were much happier once their bellies were full regularly. This help put us on a schedule.

Working out a schedule and keeping with it has worked for us. Of course as our little girls grow we have to change our schedules here and there but it seems to be working. Especially when it comes to naps during the day. And once we moved them so they weren't co sleeping they take longer naps and sleep all night.

Ask for help. I know it's hard but who doesn't like to spend an hour or two cuddling a baby (or two) that's just enough time for a nap and quality time with another child. My family & friends were very helpful even w/housework.

Another thing that has helped me is getting out of the house and going to a friends. She also is a sahm with a 3 yr old and a 3 mo old. We compare & swap stories.

Make sure you have time for you. Find someone to watch the kids for one day and get out and do something for yourself what ever it is that you enjoy.

It does get better hang in there.

I would say to learn to ask for help and take it if offered!!!
Keep wine on hand at all times lol...