Appropriate Bar Mitzvah Gift

give an amount that is a multiple of 18, the number means life. You don't need to give that much if you aren't comfortable. My daughter just had hers and she got anywhere for 36 to 300, depending on the guest. You can probably give 54 and be fine. Enjoy.

In my area, $100 per person is usual. After all if the parents are really "going all out" it is possible that they are spending more than that and you will find the party to be much like a wedding reception.
Also, it is not unusual for the Bar Mitzvah boy to donate a portion of his gifts to a charity.
If you don't feel comfortable giving him money. You could chose to buy him a gift...something "Jewish" would be appropriate....many synagogues have gift shops and can guide you. Some suggestions...menorah, kiddush cup....

money is traditional, however it is not multiples of 7, but of 18. give what you can afford, in multiples of 18 is meaningful, with a heartfelt note of good wishes. perfectly classy and acceptable.

Money is the traditional gift, but no one expects you to give more than you can afford. Give whatever amount is appropriate to your budget.

Wow... your friend sounds like she's lacking quite a bit in the manners department. How are you even supposed to know how much she's spending per person on the party unless she's blurting it out or bragging about it? Look, I'm sure she's a nice person but I really believe that for special occasions guests are invited because their presence is valued and important to the family. Gifts should never be expected but always appreciated if they are given (no matter the amount, size, cost etc...) A $20.00 gift card placed inside a nice card will be fine and if that's not in your budget just a card will do. He's thirteen years old and I doubt he's paying a mortgage so don't stress over it--- he'll survive!!!

To add on to what Sandy L said below - it's actually multiples of 18 that are traditional. In Hebrew, letters and numbers are the same (like Roman numerals) and the numbers 1,8 have the same meaning as the word for "life" so it's like saying "to life." I think if you have $36 that is a perfectly lovely gift, and only the most tactless of people would say otherwise. Almost all my bat mitzvah money went into my "college fund," and I think that's a pretty traditional response, so it's not quite the same as tucking $100 into a holiday card, if that helps ease your mind.

Still, if you'd rather do something besides cash, any other "serious" gift would do. A lot of people do savings bonds - you could see if you could get an Israeli savings bond, which shows that you put some thought into it. You could also get a nice leather wallet or monogramed money clip. It is much harder to think of what to get a boy - I know I got a lot of jewelry.

Hope this helps! Have fun.

It is her choice to spend $100 on 13 year olds. Try a bond. Or get a book of famous Jewish athletes. You are under no obligation to match someone else's definition of 'enough' money.

I was told multiples of seven are good, like good luck, so when I felt I was following a tradition when I encouraged my daughter to give an amount with a multiple of 7, like $35 (fpr a teen from a teen.) Maybe you could give $56 or ? Can anyone verify if this is true?

Since it is a right of passage into adulthood, give a gift of something you find meaningful in being an adult - a donation to a charity in his name for other children in need - Heifer Int'l gives an animal to a family.

I think 50 dollars is just fine but you should give what ever you can afford. They should understand

Give what you can afford, not what you think they expect you to give. This is always hard for me because I feel like they are going to grumble about the fact I only gave $25... but if that is all I can afford then they need to be glad, right? It's $25 more than what they had before. I would give cash, not a gift card. Just a preference of mine just in case he wants to put it into a college fund or something.

It's a bit much to expect people to pay for their plate when you're planning a fancy event and inviting families. A gift in a multiple of 18 is symbolic (Chai). I would probably give $25 per person attending, $25 if my kid was going to a friend's Bar Mitzvah or $50 if I was going alone as an adult.

You do not need to give $100, the mother is being greedy by suggesting an amount at all, nevermind to pay for your place at their party. Here is some info from a NY Jewish girl... There are some gifts that are traditional for a Bar Mitzvah. Often, monetary gifts become part of the young man's college savings fund. So, money is not considered tacky; it's actually a nice choice. This may not be the case if the family is extremely well off. But otherwise, monetary gifts are much appreciated.You don't have to worry about large amounts, as in Judaism, some numbers are symbolic and mean good luck in terms of Jewish numerology. $18 or $36 (double 18) are numerically meaningful; the number 18 in Hebrew letters spells the word for "life."...hope this helps.

I think it's incredibly tacky and inappropriate for people to expect guests to cover the cost of their plate. (I feel this way about weddings too - but Bar Mitzvahs have gotten WAYYY out of hand. After all, these are 13 year old kids.) First, as another poster commented, how are you to know what they paid per plate? Second, if they TELL you what they paid per plate, that is TRULY tacky and inappropriate. If you know the approximate cost, and choose to give that much, that is your choice - but the host of a party should never dictate what the guests should bring. OBNOXIOUS. So someone planning a simple bar mitzvah in the temple should get less than someone planning a big extravagant affair at the city's fanciest catering hall? Not to my thinking. Most of the suggestions here were right on the "money" so to speak. By the way, "all out" here in NYC could mean $200 or $300 a person, so remember that too... Good luck and I hope that whatever you bring, you have a great time.

Jewish girl here writing...I have 4 brothers and they all got very interesting nonmonetary gifts for their bar-mitzvahs. One brother had a tree planted for him in Israel , it is environmentally friendly and you receive a certificate you can give as a gift, (https://secure2.convio.net/jnf/site/Ecommerce?store_id=31..., another one had a donation made in his honor to a children's hospital, another brother (when asked what he wanted) asked for some books.
One family that could not afford to give any gift, just gave a beautiful home-made card with a poem they write about my brother (they'd known him since birth). He still has it today and cherished it.
You can also walk into any Judaica store or go to one online (www.eichlers.com) and buy something "Jewish."

if they want to show off you dont have it 50 is good a person thry cant expect what they paid to get back only give what you can