Are Sleep Schedules for Newborns Just a Myth???

Updated on April 25, 2007
C.T. asks from Richmond, VA
20 answers

I have a 29 month old and remember what a nightmare it was bringing her home and just being completely overwhelmed by her willy nilly sleep patterns. I anticipate things being that much more difficult when I bring home my newborn in the next month.

My question is, have any of you successfully implemented a sleep schedule with a newborn? I have already decided (based on my past experience) that this next baby will learn to comfort itself to sleep much earlier on that my daughter did (she didn't learn to fall asleep on her own until she was nearly 2!) Any books you can recommend or sure fire ways to get infants to sleep for reasonable lengths of time?

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M.H.

answers from Charlotte on

The book "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo really helped me with my first child. I'm planning on using it again with my next one. Beware, though, family members and friends may think you're crazy until they see the results!

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S.N.

answers from Wilmington on

For a good reason I don't seem to remember the first 8 weeks. I don't know if it was luck or something that we did-but we got a great sleeper. I always put him down when he was sleeping. I only held him when he was awake. I also put him to sleep in his crib from day one...when he woke in the night i would try to comfort him (i mean if he didn't need to eat or be changed) without lifting him out of the crib... everynight i gave him a bath, rubbed lotion on him, read a story, fed him and left. i put music on. He never cried and as he got older it was always the same-minus the bottle...he would wave goodnight at 1.5 and now he says goodnight no problem. again i don't know if i was lucky but it worked...also no matter what we put him to bed at the exact same time every night..
S.

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

Absolutely! I have five children and they were all sleeping 8 hours @ night by 8 weeks old. You have to be consistent in this process, which means staying home or scheduling around to make sure you are home by the nap time. Wether nursing or bottle feeding make sure the baby drinks what is needed. If he falls asleep start taking clothes off him to wake him or wipe him with a damp cloth (or wipee). This way he is not wanting to eat every hr or so. In the first two weeks I nursed every 2 to 2 1/2 hrs and worked my way up to 3 hrs then so on... I always gave them a bath around 10:30 pm and they were in bed around 11pm. I personally nursed and it helped to feed one side before bath and the other side after. We also learned a lot from having our first, he wanted to be rocked to sleep everynight (nightmare on vacation), so when our second baby came he got bathed, fed and laid in his crib to fall asleep on his own. Sometimes he would cry, which I let him for about 5 min. then I would go in and rub his back, saying nothing and not picking him up. It took about two weeks but then he would just go to sleep on his own. I wish you the best in this new adventure and Congratulations on the new baby!!

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

I don't believe in schedules, children are human beings, not programmed machines, so I decided to put my son's needs before mine. I don't believe in books either because many out there are dated and, some, even dangerous (the doctors in time change their mind about things because of new researches and findings - think about the "sleeping on tummy" that our parents recommended, it's forbidden now).
I heard one thing, though: if you let your baby cry himself to sleep (which is not only cruel but also dangerous) the sobbing will cut oxygen from his brain and if he has acid reflux (many of them do) it will worsen. I hope you won't do that!
If they need to be held, let's hold them, they want nothing but feel secure. Never being selfish and put our interest before theirs, we are supposed to protect them and comfort them, not ignore them when they need us. i heard of parents letting their babies throw up while crying...i wanted to get them arrested.
Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hey C.,

I would recommend the book Becoming Babywise...it talks about the baby's entire schedule and how to have them sleeping through the night. My daughter just turned 5 months old and she has been sleeping through the night since she was about 10 weeks old consistently and before that she did it some, but not every night. Now, she goes down between 8 and 10 and wakes up between 4 and 5...and it seems like she sleeps longer every night! I would highly recommend the book, it give you a great schedule for the baby, and lots of good tips! Good luck, and remember every baby is going to be different, but there are things we as parents do to contribute to their sleep habits! If you have any other questions feel free to ask!

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C.P.

answers from Greensboro on

Ok this is a subject i feel pretty strongly about. Sleep is a LEARNED behavior. Its not programing them, its teaching them something they don't already know. I've done several research papers on sleep cycles in infants. I was a nanny for 5 years, and a infant teacher for 2 years. Both my kids slept through the night at 7 weeks old, completly breastfed. Dr. Ferber, Solve Your Childrens Sleep Problems is a book i swear by. There are very few kids that it doesn't work on. Ive "ferberized" 4 kids so far, and Im telling you its a wonderful book.

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G.M.

answers from Roanoke on

forget about putting her on a schedule, just be consistent in what you do each day and make your own routine, but be flexible when it needs to be changed b/c it will change many times in the first 6 months!!!
try reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley

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A.B.

answers from Roanoke on

Hi C.,
I am a mother of 2 (2 years and 5 months). And although my oldest didn't start sleeping through the night till 6 months, my daughter started at about 4 weeks!!! Big amazement! The biggest thing I think we did different with her was that we made sure she didn't sleep in the bed with us, no matter how tired I was! Also one thing that really worked with both, which I actually didn't start doing with my oldest until he was 6 months (should have started earlier), was trying to get them to go to sleep on their own in their bed. I know sometimes that does not work and you do not want them to cry it out if they are under 6 months, so if they fall asleep in your arms, make sure you put them in their crib right away so they don't get used to you holding them when they are sleeping. Also I would not allow my children to sleep in swings, that just made things worse when I tried to get them to sleep in their bed too. They would miss that rocking motion and wake up right away!

It is different with every child but I hope this info helps, b/c sleep is something very needed when you have a newborn!

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C.G.

answers from Spartanburg on

I have an 8 week old that has been on a schedule pretty much since birth. She eats every 3 hours, now that she is older this is followed by some awake time and then she goes down for a 1.5-2 hr nap. She is sleeping from 11:15 (last bottle is at 10:30pm) until anywhere from 5:30am-7:30am. I wake her for her first morning bottle at 7:30am. She goes into her crib awake but drowsy. I do a combo of Babywise and Baby Whisperer. I don't let her scream, but I do let her fuss a bit. Now she rarely fusses and she will just lay in her crib and "talk" to her mobile until she falls asleep. I'd be happy to discuss what we did....it is tough in the beginning and there is usually some crying but the predictibily is worth it! I think my daughter thrives on the schedule b/c she knows what's next! I also think by teaching her early on to comfort herself without using food is a great lesson! She is not starved nor neglected as some anti-babywise people would say. She is doing great and is such a happy, healthy baby!

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C.S.

answers from Charleston on

C.,
I have an 8 and a 3 year old and I used the Book the baby wisperer (sorry if mispelled). It is wonderful, my friends have all used it as well, great advice for moms of newborns and up. It should be a must read for all parents of newborns. C.

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O.S.

answers from Charlotte on

my 17 month old has has a bed time ever since he was born and by two months he was sleeping all through the night he goes to bed at 9 up at 7:30 naps at 12:30 after lunch sleeps till about 2 up til 9 good luck and congrats.

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R.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

I think getting a newborn on a sleep pattern is near impossible, though I have a few friends who tried. Those who tried it said you definitely had to let the child "cry it out", which I was really not OK with in a newborn. So I just kind of let my son sleep whenever he wanted to, and I just dealt with some sleep deprivation for a while. HOWEVER, that said, I was certainly OK with letting him cry it out eventually, and it's not as bad as people say. I waited until he was over 4 months old, because I'd read time and time again that you should go to them when they cry until 3 or 4 months. After that point, we put our son to bed drowsy but not asleep, and I can tell you that the first time was awful! He cried for around 30 minutes and I had to go outside so I wouldn't hear him. But that really only happened the first time. He did fuss a little bit the next few nights, but honestly, within maybe 4 or 5 days, he was going to sleep on his own without any fuss, and we've never looked back! I did the same process when we eliminated night feedings, and it worked about the same way, only with much less crying even on the first night-- maybe 5 minutes worth. I know some people don't ever want to let their kids cry it out, and certainly I agree with that when it comes to newborns, but I really don't think my son is scarred by the experience-- he's 18 months old now and is as happy as can be. Good luck!!!

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K.O.

answers from Charleston on

I've learned personally that if you don't let them cry it out, they get frustrated so easily...I'm not saying let them scream and yell for hours on end...If you start in the begininng letting them cry themselves to sleep they should stop within 20 min. (My oldest would go 19 1/2 min. and just as I would go to check on her, she would be sound asleep) I was told that it was because my oldest was just passive natured, but its not just that...like I've seen so many before say, its a learned behavior! My youngest is so willful its not funny, but they both slept from eleven to seven at 10 weeks, one breastfed the other not...Oh yes, Babywise is the best thing you could do to inform yourself...It really just makes sense and most people use it for getting their child to sleep during the night, but the authors also help with daytime activities, how to know your baby is growing right, stuff you probably know as a second time mom, but it help me refresh...Unless they have medical issues, any baby can be trained to sleep early on...its easier at 8 weeks than at 2 years!

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

At first, a newborn is going to sleep when ever and where ever. It's how they develop and grow. But you'll notice that he/she will start staying away longer during the day and probably falling asleep towards the end of a feeding or shortly there after. Lay the baby down. If he falls asleep on the boob (if you are going to nurse)or bottle, the put him in his crib or bassinet, what ever you've got him sleeping in. If he gets that far away look in the eyes, it's sleepy time so lay him down. I think the biggest mistake we make as parents is holding them the whole time they are sleeping. Soon before you know it, the little one will be on a schedule. Both of my kiddos were sleeping through the night on their own free will by 2 months old (and I was nursing) and I can put my son (almost 10 months old) down for naps almost like clock work two times a day and for bedtime. Also, my friend learned this the hard way, don't make the house so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. The baby will become dependent on this and could have a hard time falling asleep with out the slience. Do what you noramlly do during the day. The baby is already used to these sounds from being in your belly. My friend made her house so quiet, she couldn't even take her son to the store without him thowing a fit!! I swear a jet plane landing on the street and rattle the entire house without fazeing my son while he was sleeping. I can even vacuuming in his room and he won't flinch.

Just enjoy your little one when he/she gets here and don't sweat the small stuff!!

S.

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T.B.

answers from Asheville on

NO,ACTUALLY BOTH OF MY CHILDREN HAD SLEEP SCHEDULES AND IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER FOR ME.OF COURSE SOMETIMES PLAYING WITH THEM AND KEEPING THEM AWAKE UNTIL NAP TIME AND BEDTIME WAS SOMETIMES DIFFICULT BUT I WOULD EVEN GO SO FAR AS TO SCHEDULE THEIR AND MY APPOINTMENTS AROUND NAPTIME AND THAT WAY WE WOULD BE ABLE TO KEEP THEM ON SCHEDULE!GOOD LUCK!SINCERELY,T.

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M.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I have used Babywise for both of my kids...they have both started sleeping through the night right around 2 months. I would recommend reading through the book. I didn't follow their instructions specifically, but used it more as a foundation. Let me know if you have any questions, scheduling with kids is definetly a must, I think!

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S.H.

answers from Charlotte on

"The Happiest Baby on the Block". By the time my boy was 8 weeks old he was sleeping throught the night. What I did was I swaddled at night, and did not swaddle durning tthe day. this was Zeke (my son) had a physical difference between night and day. Get the book or the video, I swear it is worth it!

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J.B.

answers from Columbia on

I swear by BabyWise. I used it with both of my kids and they were sleeping through the night (9-10 hours) at about 9 weeks old.

Good luck!
J.

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M.Y.

answers from Atlanta on

I believe any book by William Sears is an awsome read! I am currently reading No Cry, Sleep Solution (which Dr. Sears wrote the Forward on!) by Elizabeth Pantley and it is really good. I dont know about scheduling a newborn's sleep. During the first several months, a baby will sleep when he is tired. You can do very little to force a new baby to sleep when he doesnt want to, and on the other hand, you can do little to wake him up when he is sleeping soundly. They need the sleep to help them grow. They have tiny tummies and dont need to be sleeping thru the night at first anyway!! I hope this helps!

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E.Y.

answers from Norfolk on

Try the book "Helping Your Child Sleep Through the Night" by Joanne Cuthbertson & Susie Schevill-I loved it. My mom used it with me and my two brothers and then recomended it to me also. I used it with my daughter and the first time she slept through the night (5 straight hours) she was 4 weeks old! By the time she was 5 months, she was sleeping about 10 hours straight per night, and even now at 13 months she still sleeps like a champ.

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