Baby Supposedly Never Goes Out but Always Gets Sick

Updated on March 30, 2013
M.F. asks from Youngstown, OH
17 answers

I need a few different perspectives. My sister does not work or have her own car. She is stuck in her house all day with my niece who is 10 months old. She lives 15-20 minutes from the rest of the family so once or twice a week if she is willing my parents pick her and the baby up and bring her to their house so we can all see the baby. The thing is my little niece is always sick. Everything that goes around she gets. She now has roseola. My daughter is 13 months and along with my 3 years old goes to a babysitter 2 days a week. Plus I have 2 school aged boys who bring home probably every germ you can think of. My kids rarely get colds and we all got a stomach virus over New Years which we caught from my niece. Does she get sick because she is never around people but that makes no sense since she is only around healthy people when she is. My sister is weird and hides things from us for some reason although we always know the truth somehow. I am wondering if there is something she is not telling us about her daily life?? What are your opinions? I am just curious and perplexed...

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I think my husband brings home more germs from work than my kids do from school....so maybe daddy's workplace is very germy.

12 moms found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Wait... So 2x per week the baby hangs around your kids who "bring home every germ" from daycare & school... But you don't know how the baby is getting sick?

Ummmm.....

18 moms found this helpful
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C..

answers from Columbia on

She may be around healthy people.... but that doesn't mean healthy people aren't CARRYING germs..... they themselves are just fighting off infections and viruses.

It's possible that ANYTIME she's around people she's picking up germs and her body is just not fighting them off as well, so she gets sick.

Plus - being around a 13 month old, a 3 year old and 2 school age boys twice a week is pretty much the equivalent of day care exposure, I would think..... So, even though you are saying the baby "never goes out".... she actually does.

Kids who aren't exposed to germs have weaker immune systems in the long run. The fact that she is always sick, may be good - it means she is learning resistance to certain types of bacteria.

She also might have allergies - which will typically MASK as stuffy nose / diarrhea. If you aren't paying real close attention, you can think your child has cold, when what they ACTUALLY have is an allergic reaction to any number of foods.

17 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

My guess is that since your sister and her baby are shut in and the baby isn't exposed to the world or, you know, people in a normal and healthy way then the baby's immune system isn't developing normally. Whatever she comes into contact with, she's going to get even if the carriers of the germs aren't sick themselves. It makes perfect sense that she's "only around healthy people" because healthy people still carry viruses, bacteria, illnesses, and every nasty germ you can think of.

Friends of mine who bleach every surface daily since the day they found out they were pregnant in an effort to eliminate germs around their children have had that backfire on them. No nasty public toilets! No public parks! No play dates anywhere but their own homes! Don't go anywhere without sterilizing wipes! And you know, those children were and are sick constantly and a couple have asthma. They thought they were protecting their children from germs, but the real protection is in normal exposure to life.

9 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

Seeing as you do not even know what your sister does daily it is quite possible that your niece isn't exposed to enough germs to be developing a strong immune system. It could also be that for no known cause your niece is more susceptible to getting sick. As you know all babies and children are different and unfortunately some are sicker than others. What does your sister say when/if you've talked about this with her? Also, what could you possibly believe your sister is doing to cause her child to keep contracting illnesses? I ask this because you state that she hides things and doesn't share her daily life.

Your post almost seems as if you're seeking to blame your sister for your niece's ailments. Why is that?

8 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Healthy people can carry a virus and not get it, someone who hasn't built up a resistance will get it. This is the same reason why my family almost never gets sick, we do nothing to limit exposure. Then there are those that limit exposure and when they do go out wipe down every surface including their children. The one time they forget or are exposed to something a bit more nasty they are sick.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.☯.

answers from Springfield on

She's probably exposed to germs through her father, as he probably works with other people. She is exposed whenever she does see family. But if that's pretty much the limit of her exposure, she needs to get out more.

I've never been one to use a lot of GermX or wipe down shopping carts. When my kids were little I took them to McDonalds and other playlands. We wash hands and try to keep things clean, but we don't go overboard and we try not to worry too much.

Kids need to be exposed to germs. It's the only way they build up immunities.

My kids are very healthy. They get 2 or 3 colds each year have each missed 2 or 3 days of school. Overall, we are very fortunate.

Just my opinion, but I think life is more fun when you just get out there and live it. Use reasonable precautions, wash you hands and try not to worry too much.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The baby is only 10 months old. And the immune system is not even fully developed yet. And who knows if baby is receiving vaccinations or not, because she has no car to take baby to the Doctor.
The baby is not in a germ free bubble.
The baby is exposed to people when they go to her parent's house and is around your kids.
Then the Husband is in and out of the house, etc.
And even "healthy" people, can be carriers for germs/illnesses etc. and they don't even know it.

I would be more concerned that your sister is a shut-in, with a baby, and she is so isolated?
What does she do when her baby is sick or has to go to well-check ups at the Doctor or if she needs to run errands/get diapers for baby? Just stay home?

5 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not knowing other than what you've shared my opinion is that your niece DOES go out, to her grandparents' house where she is exposed to theirs, yours, and particularly your 13 month old, your 3 year old, and your 2 school age sons who are exposing her to every germ they're exposed to. Healthy does not equate not being germ carriers. Not going to daycare she hasn't had the opportunity for her body to build up immunity to germs and be able to fight them off yet when she's exposed.

Roseola (also known as sixth disease, exanthem subitum, and roseola infantum) is a viral illness in young kids, most commonly affecting those between 6 months and 2 years old. It is a viral illness, she didn't catch it by sitting at home, she was exposed to someone who had it or carried it, it's highly contagious.
http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/skin/roseola.html

You may have caught a stomach virus from your niece, all I know is she caught it somewhere, too. There are nine of us in our home, when something comes around it can take a couple of months for each of us to get it, sometimes more than once. I can't tell who gave who what. In all likelyhood each of you passed it amongst yourselves once one person caught it.

Everyone can practice good hygiene around your niece and each other, wash your hands with soap and water before playing with her, cover your noses and mouths when sneezing and coughing, and not just for her, it's what they teach my guy in preschool to do to not share germs with everybody. Encourage her mom to do the same and with your niece, whose body will begin to fight things off once she's in daycare, preschool or kindergarten, it happens with every child whenever they are exposed to germs on a regular basis.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Denver on

I am a licensed daycare provider with 3 children of my own ages 2, 4, and 11. Each child is very different and reacts differently to exposures. Two of my children never get sick. One gets everything. He is constantly getting colds, fevers, diarrhea........ In my business I get a variety of children from different backgrounds and the same is true. Some of the "neat freaks" have children that never seem to get sick while others are more like my youngest, who get everything. I also have parents on other end of spectrum who have no problem with their kids getting dirty and the split on health there also seems to be the same. What I tell parents is that all children are different as well as their immune systems. Now for children who are frequently getting upper respiratory illnesses, asthma is pretty common but is hard to diagnose in young children. If diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting is frequent a food allergy or intolerance may be to blame. 1 in 12 children now will have a food allergy. Couple all of that info together and what you get is that this is probably not a parenting issue, although when your child is sick often, you by nature are less likely to bring them out more partially out of fear of exposure and partially out of exhaustion from the care sick little ones need. My advice would be try to be supportive, ask what type of help your sister needs and think about how difficult it would be if the shoe were on the other foot. Parents of children who are often sick sometimes feel like they are doing something wrong or not doing enough. They need people to give them encouragement. Support from the outside can make a huge impact. Hope this helps! :-)

4 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Seriously? Read your question again about think about saying the child is not being exposed to stuff - you and your family have germs. You all see the baby ever week, twice a week. Your kids are at school and daycare and get germs from all the other kids - "bring home probably every germ you can think of". The baby, who has an immature immuse system is getting sick because her immune system is still developing and she's exposed to other people who are carrying germs. It's normal. Plus, every person is different - some people get sick more often than not.

Take a step back and stop judging your sister - I'm not surprised that she hides things from you all if you think she is weird.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Madison on

It could also be that your little niece has a very low immune system so that when she is around people--even healthy people--if they're carriers of whatever is going around, even if they don't get it, they have it "on" them. Your niece then is picking up those germs they are carrying and getting sick.

My daughter went to daycare and with us when we ran errands when she was smaller. In terms of everyone else, she always, always, always seemed to catch every single virus, childhood illness, dis-ease, what have you. Come to find out her little body was severely compromised from all the pharma drugs she was taking because of all the ear infections she had. Combine that with a genetic liver mutation (that we discovered when she was 7 years old) that doesn't allow her body to detox or metabolize correctly--well, no WONDER she was always sick!

As other posters have stated, just because your little niece stays home does not mean that she can't or won't catch all the childhood dis-eases and illnesses that float around out there. She needs to catch them to build up/shore up her immune system. However, if she seems to catch everything, all the time, and there seems to be no end in sight of her being sick, then she potentially has a weak immune system. And, if each time she's getting sick, she is always taking a pharma drug to get "rid" of the issue or problem--then she definitely has a weak immune system.

2 moms found this helpful
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Z.R.

answers from Allentown on

Hmm, my cousin is the same -- although she is not isolated like your sister, she totally freaks if anyone has a cold near the kid, but her kid gets sick more often than the others who are around lots of people. We all build up resistance to germs so perhaps keeping too "germ-free" makes her more susceptible.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Our bodies fight off germs all the time. The reason yours probably never get sick is they fought the germs they had on them, they passed them along to her and she didn't have the ability to fight them off. She had to get to that point where she got sick THEN she can fight them off, next time they come to her she won't get sick, might not, from them.

It's part of building their immune systems. If she doesn't do it now she'll do it the first time she joins a classroom situation. Then mom will be really sad if she missed half of kindergarten due to illness.

1 mom found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd say the limited exposure to germs while around family members is getting her sick. That's what happens when you wrap your kid into a "germ - free" bubble. My SIL just had a baby 5 months ago. Poor kid doesn't even get to leave the house AT ALL because SIL is being the crazy first timer who thinks that'll keep her healthy and safe. And yet her baby has already been sick twice in only 5 months. The first sickness was RSV. My neice actually stopped breathing! That's how they found out she was sick.

Encourage your sister to get that baby out more.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

There is no way to completely keep everything and everyone sanitized.

Pick up baby and put them on your shoulder.. Their face is right there, where, skin flakes, hair, hair care products, detergent.. pet fur and dander.. It is all right there. That baby toy that the child sucks on.. no way it is always perfectly sanitized.. Just laying in the crib.. exposed to everything in the house.

We as humans have to build up a tolerance. If I touch something, I am touching what ever, whoever has handled it since it was last sanitized.

Door handles, room to room. Towels each time they are touched. The floors, the carpets, the doorways.. all of the furniture.. The car, car seat, seat belt.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i myself do not subscribe to the bubble theory of child raising.
but your suspicions are very odd.
i have no opinion about your sister because i don't know her and can't possibly hazard a guess at to what, if anything, she's hiding.
what precisely do you suspect is going on?
:/ khairete
perplexed S.

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