Babysitting for a Late Nite

Updated on June 23, 2011
J.D. asks from Fort Worth, TX
21 answers

Hello ladies!! I have a late night planned next weekend, going to be out until at least 2 a.m.-this is an extreme rare occasion for me and don't want to miss out. I was talking to my ex husband about it, letting him know i was going to hire a babysitter for our 4 year old daughter. He got upset because i hadn't thought to ask my 12 yr old step-daughter to babysit her....mamas i'm going to be out late, she's about to be 13 but isnt that too young to leave her to watch my 4 yr old? I was talking about it today with co-workers and some agreed with him and others thought i should hire the babysitter i had originally thought of. Ladies what's your take? My ex asked me how old would our oldest need to be before she could babysit, I don't know that either.....TIA!

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So What Happened?

Hello ladies, I enjoyed reading everyone's responses :) To clarify, I cannot leave her with my ex-husband because he goes to night school. Also the babysitter I had arrangements with is not a STRANGER she runs my daughters home daycare and has been in our lives for over 3 years. My stepdaughter has gone thru the Babysitting program thru American Red Cross and is CPR certified for infants and adults so I think that may be why my ex-husband was upset that I didn't ask our oldest to watch my 4 year old. As many of you have done I too babysat around the age of 12 and often late into the night but I agree that times have changed and I don't want to be calling my oldest every 5 mins to see what's going on, I want to enjoy my night. I do however love the idea of having my oldest go thru a trial run thru while I am here. I get her this weekend so I think I'll try that just to see how it goes. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to respond. Also to the woman who suggested that I could get into trouble with social services let me clarify that I live in TX and there is no minor limit as to how young you can leave a child at home alone. Appalling but true.

Featured Answers

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Not 12! My sons nearly 15 and I wouldn't leave my 4 yr old with him. Noo wayyy! If I knew a resonsible 1t yr old and up that would be reasonable to me. I don't blame you. 12 is too young to me.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My mom worked in a bar when I was growing up. By the time I was 11 I was babysitting my brothers and sister (they were 11, 9 and 5) she worked from 8 till 4am. We had supper before she left and I got the others into bed. I then stayed up most of the time and read til she got home. Not all 12 year olds are responsible it depends on the girl. But by 13 I was babysitting for a bunch of families in the neighborhood.

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A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Too young. If anything happened you could get into a lot of trouble with child services.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

J.,

In a more gentle and kinder day, at age 12 - 13 I did baby sitting until 2 or 3 am and the husband or wife drove me home. Times have changed and not in a good way. If you are going to be out late, I would have an older sitter and then, ONLY with a back-up ADULT near by. If your former husband is so concerned, why not leave your little girl with him at his house. This way his step-daughter could gain some experience and you could pay her a little something for being responsible. It would be a WIN WIN situation!

Keep us posted and enjoy you night out.

Blessings.....

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I would be VERY uncomfortable with a child who can't drive watching my children until 2 am.

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A.M.

answers from Bloomington on

That really depends on her maturity level so there is no right or wrong answer.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Hire the baby sitter
12 is too young to be made to responsible for a toddler
I think 15 to 16 before she should babysit, and then only after she is CPR trained. Also, the American Red Cross offers free babysitting courses that you could look into.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

No way. I wouldn't leave a 12 yr old alone for more than a couple hours and not past 9 or 10. Definitely not. If you guys get along, I like the idea of having him at your house or them at his house and let the 12 yr old practice without being alone. Or just hire the sitter.

Have fun!

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

well will your ex be available for you SD if she has any concerns or needs help? Do you feel comfortable having your ex in your home if she does need help? How mature is she? if shes not dont do it.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Definitely play it safe and hire a real babysitter. You dont want to take chances of something happening. You just never know!

I would say she would have to be at least 15 to watch her for a few hours. But you are going to be out very late and you dont want to worry about them, and have to check in a lot. There just needs to be an adult there.

Hire a babysitter and go have fun!

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think it's too young. While in the past, most people were babysitting around that time it seems like in some ways kids don't mature like that anymore. They don't have to be parentish at 12. I also don't think the world is the same place where you babysit at 12 and then the parents drive you home or whatever. I would hire a babysitter. Is she cpr certified, babysitting classes, is she mature enough? I'm not sure if I'm just overparanoid or picky, but I think that's okay for my child's life. What if something happens? I'd get a sitter and if she wants to help she can, but I'd want an adult there. I know I used to babysit and the child was always safe with me, but I wasn't fully mature enough to know the dangers that came with taking care of a child.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Why doesn't her father watch her? Seems like the obvious choice, especially since it's a rare/special occasion.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Hire a Professional babysitter.

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you don't feel comfortable with it hire the sitter. How old will she have to be before your step-daughter could babysit, well that all depends on the step-daughters maturity, how would she handle it??

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D.J.

answers from Dallas on

in my opinion 13 would be old enough to babysit for an hour or 2 but not that late. Plus,if you are uncomfortable,you will just spend your evening out worrying and won't have any fun.

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Its not just the age its the maturity level of the babysitter that determines if I'll leave my kids. 12/13 is an appropriate age to babysit if the teen is responsible, sensible and reliable. There are babysitting classes for 11 year olds because some 11 year olds are capable of caring for younger children. Since you're not comfortable with the step-daughter babysitting it could be there is something about her interaction with the 4 yr old that made you overlook her as an option. Go with who you're comfortable with and don't feel guilty for doing what you feel is best for your family.

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M.H.

answers from Lansing on

I don't know about Texas, but in Michigan it is not legal to have a minor watch minors. I agree with Toni V. The most diplomatic solution is to have her watch the kids at his house with the stipulation that an adult will be in the house at all times.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I would opt for the babysitter you originally wanted. Your step daughter may be certified for babysitting, but your daughter is also a sibling. It's much easier to babysit a child you are not related... more empathy.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is 13 and just started babysitting alone at night. I wouldn't allow her to stay out that late. And she would not feel comfortable either. Can you arrange and have your daughter spend the night at your ex husband's house and have your stepdaughter take care of her there? (With your ex husband there the entire night.) That way, she gets some practice babysitting under adult supervision.

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would ask the Dad to babysit before I did either, the 12 y/o or the stranger babysitter! But that is just me. Is there a reason why Dad can't watch her??

~For the record, I let my oldest kids babysit when we were gonna stay out REALLY late like that when they were about 13-15, depending on the kid.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I would have no problem letting a 12 yr old watch my 4 yr old for a couple of hours, but I don't think I would allow it that late at night. I would have the other sitter for those late night hours. For late night, I would want at least 15 or 16 yrs old, but just for an evening out to dinner or a movie, or a short time out ( 2-3 hrs), I would be OK with a 12 yr old.

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