Bedtime Misery :(((

Updated on February 18, 2011
D.M. asks from Schenectady, NY
8 answers

my baby boy is 10 months old,since he was born he never sleeps the whole night,he wakes up 4-5 times at night,and when he wakes up he takes 2-3 naps (because he didnt sleep well at night)...he is perfectly fed before bedtime,i also make sure he is not feeling hot or cold,n he sleeps in his bed in my room..they told me abouht the self soothing technique but i cant leave him to cry..he cries from his heart n screams with tears...im sooooooooooooooo exhausted..i dont know what to do..I NEED HELP!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds to me like he is over tired at night. Maybe you put him to bed later b/c of numerous nappings (another sign that he is overly tired)?

Get him on 2 naps per day with the p.m. nap up time no later than 4:00 p.m. Establish a good bedtime routine...bath, snack, books, bed. And try to get him to bed at the same time every night. About 7:30 or 8:00 pm latest. Good luck!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I'd keep him on a two, short (no more than an hour) naps during the day... and try to get him on a schedule that way. I know it's hard to wake up a napping baby, but sometimes you gotta do it so you can get that night time pattern to form the way you need it to.
Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter started sleeping through the night once she was out of my room. If its possible try to put his crib in another room. I dont really know why but for some reason if she would wake up and see me she would stay awake but in her room she wakes up and just goes back to sleep. Also a good nighttime routine is helpful. The best for me was dinner, bath, story and then bed. Letting them cry is the hardest thing but for my daughter I only had to do it for a few days and now she cries maybe 2 minutes and goes back to bed.
This is also a big teething time for babies so he may just need a little tylenol to soothe his gums to relax enough to sleep. Good luck and hang in there, this wont last forever and you'll start to miss him in the night!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

You're going to have to sleep train him in some way. And it will probably involve crying, because he's in the habit of crying to get your attention.
You don't have to leave him to cry. You can choose whatever approach you like, but you need to do something.
Look at it this way. At this point, you're doing him a HUGE dissservice in NOT teaching him how to self soothe. He's tired and not getting the rest he needs. You'll be a better mom to him in finding a way to sleep train that you're comfortable with, and of course, then you'll sleep too.
We've used CIO with both kids, and it's worked quickly and wonderfully, but I understand that that's not for everyone.
I know there's a book called the no-cry sleep method, and I think that Ferber is a version of "controlled" crying, where you go in to soothe after certain periods of time.
Whatever you choose, you have to change this behavior now. It's one of those things that you have to do as his mommmy, just like teaching him how to tie his shoes and eat from a spoon.
Research a few books and find one that fits you.

I would also suggest getting him out of your room as you do this. That's part of the distruption.

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

Sorry for your lack of sleep, been there, done that!

My kiddo co-sleeps and has since birth, he's 26 months now. He has gone through some horrible bouts of no sleep at night and anything from 3 naps to no naps. Take a deep breath and remember that the whole sleep through the night thing, is relative to each individual child and that it will always flucuate throughout their growth. Teething, allergies, stress, growth spurts, changes in eating, weaning, all these things affect sleep and you just have to really tune in to what's going on. Adjust as much as you can for him, if he doesn't seem to want to sleep at night, try going to bed earlier or later. If you're home and can, try napping with him to get him to sleep longer (I know I'll have some nay-sayers on this, but sleep is good for everyone!) It does get better and easier and you'll both get through it!

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M.L.

answers from Bellingham on

My daughter is 19 months old and has never put herself to sleep... Until last night!!! =) I didn't want to do the cry it out method, so I sat in the chair in her room, and just kept to myself. I would offer a few reassuring words, but didn't say much... Took about an hour, but she fell asleep... Tonight is going the same, except it's been over an hour now and she's still standing in her crib, looking at me... Just look at it this way... It's not going to last forever, and one day you'll miss all this. And you'll look back and say "it wasn't so bad..." just try to enjoy it... =) as frustrating as it can be...

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I need a nap too, I feel your pain. My son is NOT a good sleeper at ALL. I agree with the other moms, get him on a morning nap and an afternoon nap, about an hour each. It will take a while before he gets into that routine, but it will work wonders. Don't let him sleep in too long in the morning, and keep a strict bedtime routine. Maybe put a thermometer in his room. Babies should be wearing what we would normally wear to bed, plus one layer (like a onesie) in the cooler months. He probably also needs his own room if you've got the space.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

When he wakes up at night do you feed him again?

Its possible that he is having gas pains or some colic, which would explain the screaming. My daughter had terrible gas pains. You could try giving him some Mylecon or Gripe water before bedtime to see if it helps.

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