Birthday Parties Without Parents?

Updated on January 12, 2012
M.A. asks from South Jordan, UT
16 answers

I am planning my daughter's 6th birthday party and was wanting to take the kids to a pizza buffet place with arcade games and indoor attractions geared towards kids. My daughter has six close friends she wanted to invite, and I wasn't planning on making it a child and parent event. I was originally planning to have my sisters help and have two kids assigned to one adult to make sure they were always with an adult. Now I am second guessing and wondering if parents would be comfortable having their child at a venue, not just our home, without them. At what age would you be okay sending your child to a birthday party without you? These parents all know me well so that is not an issue.

Added: You have to pay for the buffet just to get in the door, so the parent or parents would about double the cost of the party. How do you handle that if they want to come? I'm assuming you just pay for them to avoid an awkward situation???

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Personally, I would not drop my child off and not stay. I don't expect to be included in the party or for the parents to pay for anything for me. That is just my own comfort level. I always stay and offer to help where ever needed, if not needed I just stay out of the way, with eyes on my kid. My theory is that "things" happen even with the best of intentions. Now that my child is 8 I would be more willing to consider it possibly but definitely not at 6. Again that is just me.

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I know parents that would have no problem...but I am more comfortable especially at an event being around. I would not expect for you to cover my tab. I would just go along...and watch from a distance until she was in the arcade area...then I would watch over my own daughter.

I've been to too many friend birthday parties where the parents are busy with things going on the party to watch over all the children. I just don't feel comfortable doing it for a public place, yet. But if it were a home party....I think that would be different.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have never fed the parents at a pizza style birthday party. I always put on the invitation that the child was invited and if the parents wanted to stay the price of the buffet was $xxx for adults and $xxx for additional children, that way there is NO confusion.

I would not let my child go to a party without me supervising them until they are in Jr. High or about that age. I think all the parents are going to want to stay. They will most likely sit off to the side and feed their family while the party is going on. That's what happened to most of our parities at Chuck E. Cheeses. The kids run amok anyway and don't have parental supervision. That's the way those places work. I would let the parents know what you expect then let them decide how they plan on attending.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Drop off parties usually start in kindergarten, so I don't think it would be a big deal. I would just include a note on the invite along the lines of, "Drop off time is 1 pm; pick up at 3 pm."

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

If it was someone I knew well, I wouldn't have a problem sending my child, but I would offer to help supervise for the sake of the mom's sanity chasing multiple 6 years olds in potentially different directions, getting plates of food, drinks, etc.. I'd just ask the moms in question how they'd feel about it and let them know that you've got extra help covered.

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

depends on the kid, if they are all well behaved kids I'd be fine with it at 6. If I had a child who tended to run off or not listen or get distracted I'd wait. I think your plan sounds awesome. I saw a mom with 8- 6-7 year olds at an arcade before and she handled it wonderfully and she said she had them all sleep over too...i think i'd be fine with it at 6. I think letting the moms know your plan is great too and giving them the optino to coe should they not feel comfortable

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R.G.

answers from Denver on

Six is very young. I personally would not allow my son to attend a party at a public venue without me. I just had my son's 5th birthday party at a children's museum and requested all parents (sometimes both parents) attend. I had to pay for each person as well but it was worth my own peace of mind to know that each child is the responsibilty of their own parents.

If you're comfortable taking that responsibilty, kudos to you. I, personally, would not be comfortable with that. If a child gets hurt, lost, etc. - you are personally responsible for that. In this day and age, I would not take that stress on. Your daughter's party is supposed to be something fun, not stressful!

(And those pizza/arcade/attraction places are HUGE and the kids get so excited about running from one attraction to another that they forget to pay attention to what's around them.)

Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If I know the parent, like you say these parents know you, then I don't think there should be an issue sending the child without a parent. If a parent does want to come, it is up to them to pay for themselves.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would definitely give the parents and option. Just put on the invite that parents can drop off or stay.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

When my DD was 3 or 4, I always stayed. When she got to be 5 or 6, it depended. If the party was at a home, and I knew the person, I was fine leaving her. If it was at a small venue (not some crazy wide open kids running free out of sight place) I was also fine leaving her. If it was questionable, I would always ask the parent if they minded if I hung out for a bit (and paid my own way). Never a problem.

If you haven't done invitations yet, I would say something like "drop your child off at x time and pick up is at x time at x place, parents who wish to stay non-hosted are welcome". I think if these folks know you, they'll be comfortable enough to ask you any questions or bring up concerns. But 6 is an acceptable age to drop off, even at a venue. Especially with that small number.

Have fun!

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L.M.

answers from Denver on

My daughter is almost 9 years old and I am still not comfortable with dropping her off somewhere (I guess I am a little paranoid). I would suggest that you leave it open for the parents of the children to decide if they will stay or not; however, it shouldn't be your responsiblity to pay for the parents or any additional children they may bring. I have been to plenty of children's parties where it was known that the invited child would be paid for and any additional people or cost would be up to that child's parent to provide for.

I hope your daugher has a wonderful birthday and everything goes well!

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Personally, at 6 yo I don't think I'd do a drop-off at an arcade. At a home, that's different. But that's me. You can definitely word the invitation to give parents the option and that it costs such and such amt. of money for adults.

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A.F.

answers from San Francisco on

It would depend on how well I knew the other parent, if I trusted the other parent and it would depend on the venue.

That being said I would be very hesitant to do it. I have however done it. When my son was 5 my husband took him to the birthday party of his friend (someone we have known for years and were comfortable with his parents and the location/venue) which was at the movie theatre. My husband stayed for the party, but left him with the parents at the movies and went back after the movie to pick him up.

We were both comfortable with this, but it was a big first step for us. It did help that we knew they would be sitting, confined to one space and not running around with lax supervision.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

It depends on how well I know you....
- If I don't know you well, I would not allow my 6 year old son to a venue for a birthday party without me.....
-If I know you and trust you, then sure, I would allow it..

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I would never tell parents they couldn't stay. But if they asked, I'd tell them how many "helpers" I had and ask them to leave an emergency number if they did leave.

I must admit I was a little put off when I had a backyard party where all the kids were running around and playing games and some parents just assumed it was drop off...as in, "Here's my kid, what time do I need to pick her up?" For me, it was my First child's bday party and I had a little one home too. For those parents, it was clearly their youngest (3rd or 4th child) and they were happy to have a place to drop them. Still, I was floored. Esp because I hadn't planned on it being a "drop off party".

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Give the parents the option. Write the invitation TO the child, but ask that the RSVP include whether or not their parent will be their plus-one.

Something like:

"Johnny is inviting you to his birthday party! Please RSVP...will your mom or dad also be staying to play? They don't have to because we have plenty of grown ups, but Chuck-E-Cheese needs to know how many chairs we'll need at the party table!"

Best of luck!

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