Birthday Party RSVP

It drives me crazy that people don't RSVP, I think it one of the rudest things that you can do to someone. That said, I would make phone calls and just follow up without making them feel bad. Honestly, some people were just never taught how to act properly and they don't know any better.

If you want to send a follow up note instead of calling, I think that is ok too but I would make it something like a Last Call type funny email. However, I would not include those that did already RSVP. They already did the right thing and RSVP'd so no need to send them another email/correspondence that they have to read and deal with.

Good luck!

I don't think it is rude to send a reminder. It is rude when people don't respond then show up and expect to be accomodated, but it happens at every party I've had. I would send an informal "just in case you forgot" along with a thank you to those who have already responded. It's better than worrying over it.

Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with a phone call (or email, if you think it would be less awkward!) to follow up. You need to be able to make your plans and perhaps it will send a gentle prompting about being more considerate in the future.

I would call and just say "Checking on whether Ben is coming to Ted's party so I can reserve lanes..." People like that deserve to be put on the spot. NOT RSVPing is PLAIN OLD RUDE!

Oh and just HAD to add that the "correct time" for the rsvp is WHATEVER you had on the invitation--it's not always 1 week before the event!

Depends on how confrontational you want to be...
(listed from most confrontational to least)
You can basically uninvite those who didn't RSVP with your followup note.
You can call/email and ask those who didn't RSVP if they're coming.
You can rent an extra lane and see who shows.

I vote for #2!

Unfortunately, people don't like to RSVP anymore. Some seem to think they only have to reply if they are coming. Others think they don't have to reply if they are NOT coming. It results in the host not knowing if ANYONE is coming and it is quite annoying. People who you think will show, don't. People you think won't do show. You either have way too much or way to little and it is not only unfair but rude as well.

Typically RSVPs should be a week before so with your deadline, you have a few days to check on the ones that didn't reply. I would call the ones that haven't replied and just say "I haven't heard one way or another but I need a good head count". If you have to leave a message, state that you need to know for sure by "specific date".

I do think it would be rude to send a note un-inviting them for their rude behavior. Do unto others........
If you need to know, just give them a call and be polite: "I'm just checking to see if Billy can make it--I need a head count to reserve the lanes."
Even polite people make mistakes. Other polite people don't beat them up about it.

Call or email them.. In the future consider evites as well as a hard copy invite.. for some reason people will respond better online.

Me personally: I wouldn't be concerned with looking rude for trying to follow up. My thoughts are that when you asked for an RSVP it is rude to not answer. I'd call up and say "Hi, I'm trying to finalize reservations at the bowling alley and need to know how many lanes to pay for. Will you be coming to play with us?" Something simple and casual, very matter of fact. I wouldn't bother with written communication after the first one, now you're chasing up a concrete answer. If someone was concerned with "proper" ettiquette, they would have answered, so who cares if calling is "right or wrong".

If you have their numbers call and tell them the simple truth - you need to reserve lanes and therefore need an accurate head count. If you don't have the numbers but do have an email send them an email. Whomever does not reply prior to the day you need to reserve the lane would then get a followup email saying so sorry we haven't heard back from you and I needed to make the reservations, goody bags and order the cake/food, assuming you are not able to attend this year, maybe next year. I wouldn't want to waste my money on an extra lane or food/cake for people who have no intention of showing. This is a real pet peeve of mine. After three years of people either not RSVPing at all, saying they are coming and don't show, or showing up after saying they weren't coming...we just stopped inviting those people. Anyone who can't be bothered to place a simple phone call or email (I include both on invitations) then I can not be bothered to include them the following year.

Not rude at all - they are rude for not responding to the invite.

I really don't understand why people don't rsvp as they should. It really ticks me off. Maybe next time, ALL invitations should be via phone (not answering machine) or in person, THAT way you get your response... face to face, they'd HAVE to respond! ha!

Every year I have gotten several last minute and several days late RSVPs. I have even done it myself, either I misplaced the invite or lost track of the date, or sometimes I didn't ever dig the invitation out of the bottom of my child's bag until after the RSVP date, so sometimes people simply forget. Once I left notes in my daughter's friends' cubbies begging them to give me a yes or a no. Turns out they (they had twins) were trying to work out their work schedule so that they could come. I know some people have said people will just show up, but in my experience, no RSVP means that they will not show up. If you have their email address, give them a friendly reminder. If you didn't use a email address in your invite for RSVPing, I would consider doing that next time. It is much easier for parents to RSVP via email (at 1130PM when we do remember) then to phone trying to figure out a good time to call.

I have learned that even if people rsvp, they don't always show. I wouldn't get an extra lane. We just had my daughters birthday at a gymnastics gym. We invited the whole class. All 22 kids! 11 kids rsvp'd that they were coming (which I thought was a perfect number), but one the party day, only 3 kids actually showed. I never heard back from any of the other 8 parents.

If you have phone numbers-you could call them-tonight. You're wondering if it is rude of you to follow up? Uh-no-they should have responded. The last time my best friend took my son and her two sons bowling-with rentals and food and gee this is fun-let's play another game, etc-it was $200! Do people get the impression that you are being less than generous? I don't get it.

this is a major pet peeve of mine too! It stinks even more when its family that doesn't RSVP! I personally don't have the time to track them down to see if they are coming, I'm planning a party for crying out loud! Its just common curtesy to RSVP on time. You know as soon as you get the invite whether your child can attend.

My daughter had a birthday party a few weeks ago. I sent out invitations about 3 weeks in advance with an RSVP deadline. Some people replied before the deadline. I ended up sending out a polite email "reminder" to those who had not replied.

Give the party information again and say something like... please let me know if your child will be able to attend as I want to make sure I have enough lanes reserved.

Sadly, I have come to expect Invitation replies to go this way. It used to upset me, but I now know that this is what to expect. I don't stress over it anymore. With birthday parties in the future plan on sending out a reminder email a couple of days before your RSVP deadline.

I always call the parents who didnt respond. Usually the day after the deadline or so. Unfortunately, many parents dont respond or respond late which is very annoying!