Boys, Boys, Boys....

Updated on June 29, 2008
R.H. asks from Wichita, KS
79 answers

Alright, I have two boys, 7 yrs and 4 yrs old. I grew up with sisters so this whole male youth thing is perplexing to me. It seems the biggest and most favorite topics of conversation are all about poops, pee, burps, toots and 'wieners'. Now I can honestly say, that my husband and I do not discuss these things except in reference to the actual functions as it pertains to our children (i.e. Do you need to poop or pee? or Say excuse me if you burp or toot (and try not to do it in public!). We certainly don't refer to their penises as 'wieners'. My eldest picked up this word on the bus. Isn't that nice? So anyway, I get so tired of it. Is this normal for boys? I mean, I don't notice other boys acting like this. I feel like a bad mom half the time because my boys talk about this stuff and they think it's hysterical and fun and I just want to crawl under my bed. There's a rule about discussing these things at the dinner table. And I've explained that these are our p****** p**** and functions and don't need to be discussed. I feel like I'm being a prude? Am I? Be honest....I just find it so exhausting...What am I doing wrong?

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So What Happened?

What happened? I'm relieved, that's what. Very relieved! Thanks to all of you for your witty and sensitive remarks and suggestions. It calms me to know that we're pretty typical in my family. I've a bit more peace of mind and frankly, now feel like this is something I can manage with humor and with some sense of direction. Thanks to all of you!

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

It is totally normal. Boys are a different breed ( I have 1 and 1 girl). They are gross, silly, goofy, idiots, and can't sit still, but fun! I love 'em/I hate 'em. But yes, I think most (normal) boys are going to be talking about their "wieners." Hey, they end up thinking about/touching them all the time anyway when they grow up, why not start talking about them now :)

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M.G.

answers from Joplin on

Judging by my little brothers behavior while growing up (I have all daughters) it is normal. Also my friends boys act just the same way.

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C.G.

answers from Columbia on

Yes, this is so normal, boys this age think this is hilarious! I think you are doing the right thing by not letting them discuss it at the table, and letting them know it is rude in public. Part of me thinks that you should continue to ask them to stop, so they will grow up and not be gross about it in front of other people. However, if you let them joke about it, then eventually the novelty of it will wear off and it won't be quite as fun anymore. I know there are books out there about this stuff, like "Everybody Poops" and others. Maybe this would help them get it out of their systems and move on to something else. But, good job for using the right terms and teaching them that there is a time and place to talk about those things and to be respectful.

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J.A.

answers from Kansas City on

I am also the mom to 2 boys! I love being the mom of boys because they are just so funny. Definitely normal behavior for boys. What's funny to boys is NOT funny to girls. Just keep them in check and you'll do great!

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J.P.

answers from St. Louis on

I have boys who are 8 and 9. They have the same vocabulary as your children. Although they may get away with it at home...they do know never to use it in public. Boys will be boys. Good Luck!!!

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I feel your pain! I have 3 boys (4, 6, 8) and they love to do all of those wonderful things and have developed a whole new vocabulary-it seems to come home from school with my 8 year old and pass on down (I hate to think what my 4 year old's preschool teachers think:)) I've learned the more I focus and make an issue of it, the more they do, so I try to ignore it most of the time, and set limits--they are not allowed to use those words, actions out of the house or at the dinner table. For the most part, it works ok. I do make an issue with using "potty mouths" out in public. I've even resorted to soap in their mouths (I know, I know-horrible parenting, but all it took was once (for each of them) and now just the threat is all it takes.) I see older boys doing the exact same thing, so I see no end in sight. Hopefully, by high school they'll realize it's not "cool" anymore:))

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D.A.

answers from St. Louis on

You are certainly not a prude! As parents we want our children to act "prim and proper", and reality is they just don't. Also, other boys are doing it, you just don't notice because you are usually paying attention to your own!

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi R.! I know exactly what you're talking about!! First I have to say, Have you been around a couple of grown men talking??? They talk like that only using older, even more crude names for all of it. I think it's just programmed into the male genetics and they can't help it. I've got a 26 year old brother, he did/does this, I have a 4 year old son who does it. The best thing I can tell you is what I do, and that's just try try try to teach them when it's absolutely NOT COOL to talk like that.
I remember often hearing my mom when we were growing up saying, "I don't know what to do with this boy!!!" She had 2 sisters. Boys are definatly different than girls!! I guess it's better to have boys acting this way than a girl doing it! hahaha

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C.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it's normal for the most part! My oldest is 7.5 and he also has picked up the weiner phrase, as well as nuts and balls, from school, cousins, and half brother. It's not lovely, and I get on to him about using those terms. Of course he still does it = P I admit, at home we do some burping here and there for the fun of it, but he knows it's not something we do in public. As well as talk about those other things. All I can say is let your limits of when and where be known on these subjects and enforce it. I know mine doesn't always remember this in public, but after threating a punishment he zips his mouth about it! I'm just dreding this as my 2y/o gets older! He's fascinated by poop wether it's the cat's, his, or something that looks like it = P So gross!! I can't wait till they get older and it's a thing of the past! GOod Luck, and just know there are other boys out there like your boys! ; )

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

I have 6 and 4 year old boys, and yes, nothing is funnier to them than bodily functions and body parts best left covered. My 6 year old picked up the weiner word on the bus this year, too, and boy, is it a hoot! To him. (insert BIG eye roll from mom here) So, yes, while nobody knows why boys do this, apparently all boys do this. Perplexes the heck out of us moms, tho! (I grew up with one sis, and we did not practice the underarm fart, belching the alphabet, or the latest poop joke for hours, sheesh. My boys, tho....)
Hang in there, and they'll either grow out of it, or move out, you guess which will happen first! :P

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Yeah, I think it's normal and the sad thing is they don't seem to outgrow it. Haha. My brother in law is 17 and still talks about the latest poop he took. It's...ummm...different to say the least for boys!

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T.R.

answers from Joplin on

honey...they're boys. they won't outgrow it. get used to it. :) it NEVER goes away. ask your husband. good luck!

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K.O.

answers from Wichita on

Normal, normal, normal! I am the mother of four boys and my husband, my father (one of three boys), and my father-in-law (one of three boys)all reassure me daily that this is normal. Boys are fascinated by body parts and like to joke about them and the sounds they make. It is frustrating for me to understand, but apparently it is just a "boy thing." My friends who have boys deal with the same issues too. Try to relax and realize that someday that they will grow up and act more mature. Also, it may help to have your husband talk to the boys about saving this type of "humor" for when they are only around "the guys." It has really worked for us. The boys still find many slang words for body parts and functions hilarious, but they are much better about saving it for times when I am not directly in their presence. Good luck! I can sympathize with you! Kati

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G.W.

answers from Wichita on

You are not alone! I have a 5 and 4 year old and they think it is hysterical to use these "potty mouth" words. They also like to insert them in place of any other word when talking. I am telling them all day long that we don't say these words unless talking about going or doing them, that it is not good manners, that it does not make God happy to use potty mouth words. I feel like I'm nagging and honestly am tired of hearing myself all day long. I really don't have a solution, but think it is just a phase.

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M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh, yes! I have a seven year old, as well, and it is indeed THE thing to talk and laugh about in first grade between all of the boys. I am sure it is just an age appropriate phase that they will grow out of. I just try to laugh myself and enjoy the wonders of raising a boy! Feel better that you aren't the only mom running for cover.

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A.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Perfectly normal, I grew up with boys boys boys I have 3 brothers and 4 boy cousins I am now with 2 boys of my own, 4 and 8. I am the one and only girl in my whole family and growing up with boys that is a normal conversation with them (not so much my brothers anymore they are in their 20's, but my own boys now) As long as they understand, that kind of talk is not appropriate for everyone to hear. They are discovering alot of themselves at this age. Just wait till they turn 14 or 15. it gets even better. best of luck. There is a special place in heaven for mothers with sons!!!!!!!!

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I hope this is normal because my son does the very same thing, he just turned 6. I'm told by other moms that their sons do the same thing. I hope he grows out of it - I too get totally embarrassed in public. I don't think you are alone here.

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

This made me laugh. In my house, we have 4 girls and a boy. And it's the girls who talk about poop all the time. It's the girls who get a charge out of burping loudly or squeezing out a juicy fart. And they are teenagers. I discourage emitting the actual bodily functions in front of others and especially at the table, but I admit, I can't help laughing at their stupid poop stories. I think families have different cultures and what's accepted and what's not within each family can vary greatly - however it's extremely important for kids to understand that that kind of behavior is not acceptable in polite company, and should never be displayed at other peoples' houses. The goofy stuff that everyone laughs at at home is not appropriate around others. Most kids easily understand that. And obviously, the reason they find the grossness funny is because they know it is so absurdly inappropriate.

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M.P.

answers from St. Louis on

I wouldn't say that you are a prude, you're just a girl. Girls don't normally talk about stuff like that. My son I'm pretty sure can "toot" on command. He is always talking about poop and pee and burping and everything you listed yours are saying. I grew up with two older brothers and they did the same thing. Boys just think that stuff is sooo funny and they are very vocal about it much to the dismay of us moms. I hope this helps. Good luck!

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

well i have a two year old boy so i'm looking forward to this (not!) but i can tell you, i'm the oldest of four - the youngest two are boys. i moved to florida for four years after college, and when i came back home, honestly i was embarrassed at what my mom's house had become - she was dating a (great!) guy, who also had a teenage boy, to add to the two still at home (my brothers). with me and my sister gone, it was a completely different household. so with four men in the house (BOYS!) my poor mom had no chance! i remember being shocked and a little alienated because their entire conversations seemed to be made up of the stuff you're talking about, and their favorite was saying "you know how i know you're GAY!?" (-insert whatever stupid punch line.) boys just have really stupid senses of humor...hopefully you can just fine tune it so that they're not embarrassing you around company or out in public! have to say that all these boys in my family are very respectful and sweet in general. just getting boys together brings out the "wierd" in them i guess. good luck and try not to pull your hair out!

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T.S.

answers from Wichita on

I came from a family of all girls and was blessed with four boys. Yes, they find all body noises hilariously funny. I just try to have them curtail it in public and let them, to a point, be more relaxed at home. I haven't been able to stop them from talking about bodily functions either. It is just too funny for them. A difference between girls and boys...

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

There is something to be said about boys being boys, but that doesn't mean they should be allowed to rude and crude. Although they will probably outgrow some of this, don't be surprised if their lighting "toots" in college.

I have also heard that one of the roles of a mom is to add culture to your boys. Don't expect to eliminate this kind of behavior, but you should expect better. Why kind of young men do you want to raise?

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M.T.

answers from Springfield on

my son is 8yrs old and he's the same way. I think its pretty much normal for boys.

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J.H.

answers from Wichita on

Right there with you hon!! Except my boys are 6 & 3.

I too grew up with only girls in the family and some things were not permitted.

Every meal my youngest toots at the table. Of course that makes my oldest just laugh and laugh. We do make him say excuse me. But it is a constant battle....each day.

Let me know if you find a "cure"!

By the way, my oldest sister had a girl and a boy. I remember her dealing with this too from her son. She just knew a comment about bodily functions would come up during meal time so she privately made a game of it in her head...she tried to see how long it would take for the subject to come up.

I know I haven't helped, but it is nice to know your not the only one going through this. Hang in there!

Best Wishes,

J. H.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

R....I feel your pain!! I grew up with only 1 sister, but a dad who talked about tooting and doing so all the time. BUt it was embarrassing, and now that my 9 and 5 ds' do it all the time, every behavior you talk about it drives me nuts...no pun intended. What I hate is that we now have almost 3yr old twins...boy and girl. The boys now have their little sister talking about her butt talking, burping, and trying to pee like them. I wanted a girl...but not like this!! LOL
Good Luck, I am enjoying all the responses knowing I am also not alone.
J.

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G.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi R. - You are not doing anything wrong. "Toilet Talk" as I call it is very common at four years old. You have explained it as a private topic and a biological function. Make sure that Dad agrees with you on this. Don't over react, but just let them know that you don't want to hear this, and tell them to take it some place else. It is just plain not an appropriate topic of conversation. It is a phase - but when you have the 4 year old and the two year old following "suit" it is overwhelming. You don't want to listen to three more years of this, and you don't want them thinking it is "O.K." and it is not. Take that talk into your own private room, or into the bathroom. When they are ready for a new topic, cme on out. Sincerely, G.

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I just realized that unfortunately there are some ignorant men out there that are teaching their sons and then their sons go to school and infect everyone else. We really should've kicked those boys in the "wiener". :)

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D.L.

answers from Wichita on

Renne,

I've been signed up for this site for a while now, but I've not done much with it. But when I saw your post, I thought "Oh, I have to respond to that!!" I'm 36 and I have 7 kiddos!! 5 girls and 2 boys. The oldest girl is 16, then girl 10, boy 8, girl 6, girl 4, girl 3 and boy 19 months. I don't think it is just a boy thing, at least not at our house. Let me tell you, from my experience with my kids and then our many, many friends, this bathroom talk is very normal, especially at your boys' ages. I agree, that this can be very tiresome. My kids think it is hilarious. I think with all the tooting, burping and bad manners in general they see on TV, this is just a "war" we're going to have to deal with. Just keep doing what you're doing, encouraging good manners and DON'T feel like you're a bad mom. I'll bet your kids have better manners than a lot of kids simply because you DO talk about it. My 16 year old is the worst at burping all the time even at the table. I made a rule that whoever burps at the table has to do dishes by themselves, she had to tonight!! Keep on being a good mom!

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

NO, you are not a prude!!! Your boys are very normal. You just have to keep at them and keep teaching them their manners. Eventually they'll get it. Especially when they are dating age and their date dumps them because they are being crude. Keep being mom and make sure your husband reinforces what you are trying to teach them. The 4 year old I sit always says "excuse me" and when he does forget we let him know and he corrects himself and apologizes. Keep pressing on! God Bless and Good Luck.

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E.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Boys are little animals. They try to gross each other out. It's what they do. It's totally normal. When they get older they light their farts and throw things at fans to see how far they can launch different items. Those "Jackass" movies with those guys doing those stupid things don't help. You are not doing anything wrong. Setting limits (around the dinner table and around girls-including Mom) is the right thing to do. Keep your sense of humor, sometimes they are just trying to push your buttons to get a rise out of you. Remember you only have them for a short time, then they leave the nest all too soon. Keep smiling!!

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I have four boys ages 10, 8, 7 and 6. Your boys' behavior is so NORMAL!!!!!! Our boys are just like yours. No I am not proud of thier discussions on bodily functions or the burping or tooting but they are boys and I gave up the fight along time ago. We have rules--we do not discuss these things at the dinner table or in public and definitely not when we have company! :) You are not a bad mom! You are not doing anything wrong! Hang in there!

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K.H.

answers from Kansas City on

i have 3 boys and yes it is normal and as thry get older it will either get better or worse

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J.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Dear R.,

Welcome to the world of boys. They love to gross Moms and teacher out.
You are not a prude. If you do not want body parts and functions talked about at the table. You are teaching your sons about polite conversation.
To get my three sons and daughter to stop this I tried ignoring the bad stuff and rewarding the good.
"Thank you for eating your green beans." This was one of the few nice things I could find to say after a gross dinner conversation. It took a few weeks, or was it months, to see a change But we made it.
Good luck and hug those boys.

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L.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi R., I know what your talking about. It drives me INSANE!! I only have one boy, but yes the subject of those same things come up all the time! I feel the same way you do. I feel like such a nag when I have to keep telling him to stop the inappropriate talk. I don't know why they are obsessed with that type of thing, but I think it's just a boy thing. The only thing that I do is i tell him if he's going to continue with inappropriate talk like that, then he needs to go to him room. That usually works for us. But i have to remind him about that several times. Not sure if that is what your looking for or not, but thought I'd throw out my two cents. We're all just trying to do the best we can and raise out kids the best way that we know how to do. Good luck with your boys. I know how hard it can be!

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I grew up an only child with a single mother and then got married and had two boys. What a "culture" shock! When they were about 6 and 7 (sound familiar?) the whole body function thing started. I was appalled. However, this did make me look at other families with boys and it DEFINITELY was a common theme. (My husband at the time was also raised by a single drunk mother, who never did anything with her kids.) To make a long story short, when they started talking like that, I sent them both to the same room and just told them they couldn't talk like that with me in the same room. I gritted my teeth and smiled and rolled my eyes like it was a big joke. Anyhow, it seemed to work and my rule held in the store or anytime they were with me. I learned many years later (after marrying my wonderful husband who grew up with brothers in a normal family) that this is definitely a male youth thing that sometimes goes into their adulthood. Yuk!

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D.T.

answers from Wichita on

My only boy is five, but my observation of his male friends and family is that it is fairly normal. I would say that, yes, it is normal, but no, you are not being a prude with your boundaries! My only brother is so much younger than me that it took me off guard as well, (except that I teach elementary school so I know that it is a "boy thing"). Maybe someone with older kids can chime in here too, but I'm guessing we just stick to our rules about when and where, and reminding them to use the proper names for p****** p****.

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H.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Trust me it is so normal! I have two boys in middle school who still like to talk about bodily functions! Although I have time and time again tried to correct this behavior, it still, in their minds, is just as funny as when they had first realized that their bodies had these functions. I have read books on young boys behavior, and it is not just your boys or mine that choose to find such things so humorous, it is every boy. My boys have calmed down about it now, but they cannot deny the humor they find in these topics. Also when there is another boy involved to join them in this conversation it tends to excalate. So relax and just keep correcting them by letting them know that you understand that this is funny and new to them but that the dinner table or out in public is not the place for it. They will soon get it. Trust me I understand the embarassment, you are not doing anything wrong. They are just being boys, and will over time slow down a little on it. Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Your boys are very normal. You are not being a prude or doing anything wrong, but with two bys you will probably need to get used to this. I grew up with two sisters and then had two boys. I felt the same way as you do when they started with "bodily function" comments. I thought it was gross. Once I became involved in boy activities (scouts, sports, etc.), I realized that almost boys are just the same. I actually felt relieved the first time I drove to a scout field trip with six 7-year old boys and within a few minutes they were all trying to make fart noices with their armpits! I quickly realized that this was not an issue just in our house. Ask any mother of all boys and you'll find out that this is something they really don't outgrow. My boys are 16 and 19 now and it still goes on.

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Absolutely, 100% normal! I have two boys, ages 8 and 6. Though they are starting to do it less, I remember when those were the only words they ever said.

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R.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Dear R.,
I have three boys. Yes, that is normal. I used to wonder if they'd ever get out of that stage. We, too, would tell them they couldn't talk about those things at dinner. I think you're on the right track. Just set boundaries and try to ignore them the rest of the time. I do think it is typical of boys. The bad news is that they go through it again when they're teenagers! They seem to revert back then. Sorry. But, other than that, my boys are all well-adjusted, bright young men!
Anyway, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Hopes this helps.
R.
____@____.com

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B.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I have 2 boys-- 2, and soon to be 4, and all I seems to hear out of them is "poop" "butt" (even though I call it their bottom), and "stinky". I try to ignore it, but it doesn't help. I tried to join them (said p-o-o-p-y spells poopy) to make it less off limits, and all they did was fall on the floor laughing forever. So, great... it sounds like I'll be ignoring it for years to come :P

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K.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I am a school (K-8) secretary and I regret to inform you that your boys are totally normal. And the more you make a big deal about it, the more they will say/do it. Ignore them for awhile, it will work wonders.

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E.Y.

answers from Topeka on

I don't think you're being a prude, but boys will be boys. While I only had a sister, there were only boys in my neighborhood to play with so I got to have some insight into boyhood before I had my son. The majority of boys are all really gross. I think it's just genetic, something that's carried on the Y chromosome perhaps? I would just keep reminding them of their manners and try to take it all in stride. And while your sons' use of the word weiner might bother you, there are a lot worse words your oldest could've heard on the bus. Good luck!

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E.W.

answers from St. Louis on

It's totally normal! You just notice it out of your kids more because, well, they're your kids! That is actually what all boys talk about. LOL. I know it's frustrating, but part of it too could be because they know it bothers you. Just keep reinforcing what is appropriate. We have some friends that have set aside special potty talk time so they can get it out of their system at a time when you deem fit.

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V.M.

answers from Wichita on

Hi R.,

I feel for you...been there, done that and it still occurs, but not much I can do about it now! I grew up with 4 sisters and we have all had nothing but boys, except for my youngest sis who had a boy and a girl. Now our boys are all having girls....go figure. And even girls can act in this way. I was on a school field trip with my 10 yr old granddaughter. The school had a charter bus and we all went to OKC to the zoo. The things you see and hear when you are on a bus full of 5th graders...girls and boys alike...WOW! Anyway, I raised 2 boys as well, who are now 23 and 33 and I am very proud of who they have become. When they were growing up, I too had to deal with the same thing at that age, then again when they got into middle school. They learn a lot of stuff I wasn't happy with at school and on the bus. Then they became adults....and even then "boys will be boys"..haha! But now that they are grown, there's not much I can do about it. They do respect me and don't act that way much around me, but occasionally when I see them with a friend or two and they are acting like "kids" again, you might still hear some of that. Something about tooting or belching, boys & even men find it amusing. Sometimes I wonder if they really ever totally grow up! But you sound like a wonderful and loving mom and you are dealing with normal actions. You are doing nothing wrong, but unfortunately this is normal behavior and probably something you will have to deal with at different stages in their lives. It's hard to totally stop this behavior, but you have to keep it at a minimum. Keep doing what you're doing and looks like you've had some pretty good responses/tips on handling this.

V.

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T.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Oh R., you know what they say, "There is a special place in heaven for the Mamas of boys!!" I am a Mom of one boy who is now 12 and has moved on to even bigger and better ways to embarass me. In my experience this is typical, normal, little boy conversation, (I'm sorry to say). Yes this is just hysterical to them, and it will pass. Actually my son is now at the age where he is almost too cool to talk to me, so enjoy the inappropriate conversation. They grow so fast and even though it is embarassing, savor every moment of it. They won't be little and funny forever. It was exhausting, but you are not doing anything wrong. Keep telling them that you don't like it and maybe even take away a priveledge, but really it's okay and it will pass. Your boys are being boys, and everyone elses are too, in spite of what they might tell you. Good luck!

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D.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Well if you are doing something wrong let me know what it is! I have two boys, now 20 and 13,(three if you count my husband!)and they talk about the same things. I have decided it is just a guy thing. Sorry I don't have any advice, but at least you know you are not alone!!!

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

R., you're not doing anything wrong. Believe me, it gets annoying, but that is the normal boy thing at those ages. I grew up with two older brothers so I was always used to it and was involved in those discussions. I now see how annoying we had to have been to our parents. Unfortunately boys will be boys.

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T.T.

answers from St. Louis on

WOW!!! What great responses. I have 2 boys and 2 girls and I too believe that boys will be boys for the most part. The only thing I would like to add is that if my boys continued to talk like that at the dinner table or after they were asked to stop we told them that what they are saying is "potty" talk and that they must have to go to the bathroom. We would then sent them there and have them try to go. They did not like it especially if they were in the middle of doing something. I am not going to say that it ended the comments. (They still sometimes do it and they are 13 and 11), but it did lessen. Good Luck!

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D.E.

answers from Springfield on

R.,
Oh gosh, Yes, absolutely for sure boys are like that. I have been surrounded by boys for 14 years. It only gets worse. If you notice even men have a thing about their wieners. ha. If they are 7 and 4 they are innocent. What does your husband say about it? Always let them know about appropriate words, because they are going to learn severe bad ones soon. It's in songs, t.v., they will hear it in public, on the radio, esp. friends. Wiener is mild. It's not a bad word. It's a guy thing. When it comes to the worse words, that's when you will have to say, "That word is not to be used in my house, and if you use it you will pay a price." Like no t.v., or whatever would hurt the worse. Boys as you know, love to get in the mud, dirt, they hate showers, (usually). They don't care if they smell and hate brushing their teeth. They can wear the same underwear for 2 weeks and only change because someone told them to. There is a book about boys at the book store, go to one of the stores and ask if there are any books on boys, you will be shown one. Good Luck, boys are for sure a whole different species. I also grew up with only girls. Just relax and listen. Tell them that there are things you only say at home and not to others. The more you talk about it, the more they will. I'm sure you will get a lot of responses from the other mom's on this one. You will survive!
DE

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I think (for some strange reason that I don't understand) that this is very normal. Even to adulthood, men like to talk about these things, and think it's hilarious. Did you see the first Austen Powers movie? There's a whole lot of bathroom humor there, and my husband laughed so long and so long at the theatre. In fact, my husband and his male co-workers (teachers) had a wierd little ritual called "the tally," where they kept track of how many times they did "number 2" on the school campus (in the bathroom, of course). The one who did the most got to keep track of it all next year. Strange, disgusting, yes, but they just love it.

Still, not at the dinner table is fair enough! I have two boys too, and I have my limits!

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L.G.

answers from Columbia on

It looks like you have a lot of good advice and assurance that this is indeed normal. The one thing I will add is that it indeed gets worse about what they talk about together. I have learned the jr high lunch table is a interesting learning spot. Mine has shared some of what has been discussed so I do indeed feel privileged that he will share this with me. That is my advice is to make sure you correct the things you want to but also be approachable so they can talk to you in their language and feel comfortable. As they grow some of those body parts they like talking about well they might have questions about them, they will hear words they don't know what it means and most of them aren't nice but it is nice to be able to go to your parents and just ask. Even if it is not nice or socially acceptable to talk about around most people. I know a lot of Moms just send them to talk to Dad but sometimes Moms do give better answers and for some kids Mom is easier to talk to about even those types of things. It is nice to have two parents to talk to sometimes also. Anyway, wanted to add that, hope it helps. Sometime at the dinner table you could just belch. Watch the laughs that Mom belching gets :) Probably not setting a good example but they would enjoy it. Take care and have fun with your boys. At least you don't have to talk so much about periods in a few years. Only as it relates to girls and in small doses.

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D.H.

answers from Topeka on

Oh R., My son is eight and the one things you are missing from this list is belching and passing gas noises.... You have a pretty normal group of kids. I to grew up with sisters so I understand your worry. I get pretty annoyed after a while too. Unfortunatley it come with the territory. I just impress apon my son, not in certain situations. And if he is extremely annoying with these things I tell him to go outside. I generally tell him that amongst his friends this is fine but anywhere else is just not appropriate. Good Luck

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C.R.

answers from St. Louis on

R., You poor, poor thing! LOL :)
Just kidding. Yep, I have boys too, they are 1 yr, 7 yrs, & 9 yrs. (and a girl 3 yrs). I have gone overboard when it comes to what my children are allowed to say because I know that they will choose to creep over the boundry lines from time to time. So they are not allowed to say, 'hate', 'butt', 'stupid', 'fart', or any of those things you wouldn't want them to say in front of your preacher, or the like. They can say 'I don't like', 'bottom', 'toot', and that's fine. I have caught my 9 yr old saying 'butt' in front of his friends but he didn't know I had walked in the room, and he immediately corrected himself and looked guilty. But really, that's what I'm going for. I don't think children should ever say anything bad in front of their mothers. I'm pretty sure my husband let's them say 'some' things in his presence only, but I've heard him tell the boys to never say anything offensive in front of their mom (me). I think his father did that when he was growing up (he had 4 brothers). I think it's cute and it shows respect for women.

I will NOT tolorate 'Potty-talk'. I think it's disgusting when kids talk about poop and pee just for fun. If I hear them, I just say, "No Potty-talk!".

Now, when it comes to Burping, there is a time and a place for it. Not in public and not at the dinner table. I've got to let "Boys be boys" once in a while as long as they go by those rules. There are even times when I chime in. :)

My oldest has even tried a few curse words in front of me. I don't punish with a first offense because they may not know that they are curse words. So I tell them that it's a bad word and I don't ever want to hear them say that word again. I have never heard a second offense, but if I did, they would be punished.

To sum up, I believe Boys do need to 'be boys', but there is a time and a place for it. Just like jumping in puddles. If we are home for the day and there are no committments, then why not let the boys jump in puddles? It's fun! But if we are going somewhere, they better stay clear of the puddles. I believe what children say is a reflection on you. So teaching them "Respect" and "There is a place and time for everything", is a good thing to do.
Have Fun with your boys!!! And remember, they will have wives some day! :)

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L.E.

answers from Kansas City on

As a sister of 5 brothers, they are just being boys. Are they not yet playing with, discussing and experimenting with "bugers" yet?
This will more than likely continue until they move on to heaven. I have to admit they do get a little more polite about it with age, but even well into their 40's they talk like that.
Enjoy them though-there really is nothing wrong with them (except they are boys); they have the cootie thing going on :)
Good luck!!!

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V.S.

answers from St. Louis on

This is totally normal behavior, for boys and girls. Potty humor is very entertaining for kids and it's futile to try to put a stop to it. Your shock value is the most entertaining part of it! The best you can do is establish boundaries, like you have with the dinner table. You don't hear other boys saying these things probably because their parents have established boundaries as well. Eventually they'll grow out of it...sort of. My husband still thinks it's a little funny!

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S.T.

answers from Columbia on

I have one boy and he has always behaved in the same manner as your boys. It's baffling, but just keep working with them. The information you give them does land in their brains somewhere and might be useful to them later on in life! My son is 14 and I'm still often saying, "That is not appropriate to say, and especially not appropriate around your mom."

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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I have two boys 8 & 13 years & I'm sorry to say but this is normal. I don't know why boys find body parts & functions so hilarious. I tried everything also, but they're just boys. It did lessen as I did not make a big deal out of but would politely explain appropriate behavior in public, mealtime etc (as it sounds like you are doing)I was the only girl with two older brothers, so I was not surprised by this behavior. Some of it could be to see your reaction, if you are as put off by it as you say. Kids (boys) love to "freak" their parents out. The best thing you can do is never look freaked in front of them even if you are.

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C.F.

answers from Joplin on

I hear you! I am the mother of a 12 year old girl and 2 boys, age 9, and 4. They are also focused a lot on the words poop and pee, and silly words that refer to these. We try very hard to keep it to a minimum, however my husband, who is the youngest of 3 boy's say's this is just normal for boys.
They are just wired different then we are. My daughter never talked about stuff like that as a young girl or now. Both of the others would talk about it all the time if we did not limit it. My husbands philociphy(sp?) is that there are times when it is approprite and times when it is not, and he teaches the difference. When you are in a group of a bunch of boy's or men it is very funny, but when grandma is over don't even think about it. That is the basic idea anyway. Well, good luck to you. Boy's are a lot of fun, laugh with them about it sometimes, I think it helps them not to focus on it quite so much. Remember they are only little once, and don't blame yourself. Anyone who has spent time with boy's knows this is not something you taught them.

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C.A.

answers from Columbia on

Sorry to tell you, but it is normal and doesn't seem to get much better. I have two boys myself, 14 and 11 years old and those topics are always brought up. just have to learn with the "boy" thing, oh, how I longed to have little girls too to balance. keep enforcing good manners and hope they grow out of it. My 14 yr old is better, but 11 yr old still talks about it a lot.
good luck, enjoy them, they grow up so fast!!

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H.W.

answers from Wichita on

Hi R.. You made my day with your question. Welcome to the wonderful world of boys. I have 3 of these darling little angels ages 9, 7, and 2. There is nothing funnier in our household that toots and burps (to the boys anyway) and I try not to get too worked up about that because every boy I've been around has been the same way. As far as the "weiner" talk I let them know what I think is appopriate and correct them when they use the term, but again I try not to get overly worked up about it because I think this is a common theme among boys. It's totally normal and with maturity I'm sure these things will be less hilarious to them:)

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K.L.

answers from Kansas City on

That is definitely boys being boys...but on the other hand I do NOT allow my son to talk like that. My son is now 6 and this is an ongoing issue with him. My cousin's son and my 2 nephews talk like this all the time and I will correct them as well. The boys need to know that it is unappropriate talk. (when it is used in the playful manner) I know they will discuss it when they are playing in another room, but they all know that I better not hear it or it will be halted!!
I understand it isn't the worst thing they can be doing...but it is also something I can teach them...some things are rude in a public setting, and you must realize your surroundings and act appropriately (respecting your elders).

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M.C.

answers from Topeka on

my boys are now 14 and 12 yrs and they learn alot on the bus that we don't find acceptable conversation. I did sit both of my boys down and explain they will hear words both good and bad in life and they need to make good choices by not using those words. We taught the boys to use polite grown-up words(ie. restroom). Trying to control your expressions when they use "their words" may help. They see they are making you cringe, it becomes a game for them. We also have a "word" that only our family knows its hidden meaning. When we use the word "uno" around other people, that means a multitude of things such as "don't ask again" "we are not discussing this now" or "stop that behavior". It has really worked well in our house. You can pick any word. It gets the point across without seeming "a grump". Good luck they will outgrow this eventually, but, reminders on appropriate behavior and you teaching them good manners they can be boys you can be very proud of in public. My personal philosphy is they can be onery (which they are), at home but, positive actions in public and I have people all the time say how well-behaved my boys are in public. That gives you a wonderful feeling to know you are raising them right.

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Boys will be boys and the more they say something, as children, that we respond to as adults, they are more likely than not to repeat (usually at very inappropriate settings)
Try this....Tell your boys they have 5 minutes to talk all they want to each other(in front of you and your spouse)about
all these bodily functions.Now ..with that out of their systems....They must behave as it is improper to dicuss these things in public. (Then hire a sitter. ) My son did this in public when he was 3....After having to stay home without
going to dinner and a movie with the family...He adjusted his actions accordingly,no trauma nor drama. Etiquitte is never out of style.Children that get praised (by strangers)thrive on the positive feedback.
You, as a caring mother, will have more difficulty with this
system than your boys. Children love "guidelines" Once established...Do Not Waver ....This will be harder for you...
I am a grandmother of 9...Well behaved,mannered grandchildren that enjoy people coming to our table at restaurants and praising their behavior. This is not punishment, just the reaction to his actions.PERIOD
LOL Grammy B.

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M.L.

answers from St. Louis on

ahhhhh boys now you heard the saying boy's will be boy's. It is true. They are young and yes the more you muss and fuss the more they will do it and think it is funny to get under your skin... I would tell them there is a time and place they will have to learn when NOT to say things that are impolite to others ears. Tell them there are indoor and outdoor voices and comments. And when around other grown ups all kidding aside they have to put on the gentleman ways then. Just keep explaining not griping of the importance of manners. Great job MOM....

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G.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello Renne H. my name is G. D. I am 56-years old. There are always a certian approach. The best suggestion that I would give parents is that you set down and talk with your children. The seven year old needs to hear it from you now about his body parts and what they are for and what they are not for. If he do not get the truth from the parents he will get a lie form the outside. Be honest and open with him so he will feel free to talk to you on anything that he heard or was told. The 4-year old be soft with the information until his brain can catch-up with the details. Let him know what is right about it and what is good about it. Explain to him that his p****** p**** are for only special people to see or touch. You tell him who they are and remember to be very selective on those person. I would not let his 7-yr old be one of them at this time. He is searching himself. God Bless and I wish you the best. I am a mother of 3 boys who are all adults and a girl who is also an adult.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Oddly enough, the place where your oldest picked up this language is a place that as a rule forbids such talk. My kids public school doesn't even allow use of the word "butt." It is not harmful for him to know the slang words for his body parts. It will keep him from looking silly and getting picked on when someone says something he just doesn't get. Your youngest probably gets most of this from older brother.
Bodily functions, including gas, are amusing to boys (even some girls), especially in the group dynamic.
As for language, ask the 7 year old "is this a word you're aloud to use in school?" Most likely it isn't. Also explain to him that he is teaching his brother some things that aren't good for a 4 year old.
Stick to your house rules, especially regarding the language and manners. But also understand the boys are going to continue to find these things amusing for a while. If they laugh on occasion, it's not a big problem (long as not in public or at anyone), just don't let it go overboard.

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R.A.

answers from Wichita on

I'm a mother of four boys so I know how you feel. On some level it is normal, you just have to let them know when and where that it is definitly inappropriate. They are going to talk about that kind of stuff regardless if you make a big fuss it becomes even more fun to talk about, that's just how boys are. Have you ever told one of your boys to ignore the other one because they are bugging eachother? It's kinda like that! If it becomes too bad make them do chores for talking like that if they do it in a place you said not to. It is frustrating my boys toot in public all the time but they say excuse me. My oldest is 10 going on 11 and they make a game of it. Who ever passes gas has to say safety no backfires if someone calls doorknob before they it they get punched until they get to a doorknob. Now isn't that cute! By the way my boys are 10, 9, 6, & 4 and I don't think it changes as they get older they will still talk about those things. They are boys who will turn into men and what man do you know that still isn't a boy at heart?

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

R., Your nailed it hon. Boys Boys Boys!! I raised 2 plus hubby of course ;) I don't know what it is about the male gene's but this seems to be just one of those things that come naturally to Some of the male species :)

Most posters I respond to know I use my family at times as examples. This is one of those times also. There's been a lot going on in 37 yr. 2 son's 5 gr kids.

The louder & longer the Burp ( reciting ABC's) the better.
The Smellier the Toot You da man!
Unfortunately they will hear and learn a lot of things on the bus or play ground. With the other boys laughing about it, they really think there is nothing wrong with it.

There is certainly a lot of words to describe a little guys privates. Wiener, hot dog, one eyed snake etc.. * the other gr ma calls one of our gr son's privates Mr. Winkie.

It can be funny at times, but your not a prude, just concerned. Really in some homes it's just a normal topic of conversation among the male species. Last night when papa got home, our gr son ( 3 ) was sitting on papa's lap while he read to him before momma got here to get them. Papa said are you tooting on my leg? C said No papa just making music in my hinny! At this age everything is new to little ones. We call mom and dad at work to let them know He did a BIG one in the toilet. I can just imagine now when he goes to pre-school in August, what his teacher's will think when he wants to call them so excited and tell them he was a big boy again. This was only one of the ways ( by calling mom & dad) to get him to start using the toilet for poopin. We told him he couldn't go to school until he did. He wants to go so bad ( to school that is) Yesterday he said Nana I have to poop. We got in there and he said Naw just made music. Few minutes later he said Nana I have to poop. I said are you Sure? Yup and you better hurry Nana! ;)

As long as you stick to your rule of not dinner conversation or out in public ( good luck ) they can be themselves in the place they are most happy in, with people they love & trust. Home!

Good Luck R., smile cause it can get worse later as these little guys grow up. Besides you said they were Bright and Funny little guys. They do have a sense of humor. ;)
K.

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K.L.

answers from St. Louis on

We may never find any solutions by questioning how 'normal' this behavior is or whether our discomfort with this language is 'prudish'. These children are noble beings with the potential to develop and reflect all true virtue. Our children are not learning to appreciate real joy and humor when they only seem to find entertainment by discussing what will make adults uncomfortable. This behavior is only common because parents commonly lack the ability to direct a child's sensibilities. The book that explains all this best is "The Family Virtues Guide" by Linda K. Popov.

I grew up with an older and a younger brother. I raised a son. Although my husband grew up in a home that was more liberal with speech, my brothers and my son would have been too embarrassed to speek that way around the family. They may have talked a bit differently when alone with their friends at that age and I do remember my older brother burping the alphabet once or twice, but they were sensitive to the need for courtesy and consideration and that the power of speech was not there simply for their entertainment.

I don't remember them being afraid or ever being punished in this regard. They were simply taught to respect that their words had power and they were expected to use that power with due consideration. It's hard to explain it, but I remember that my grandmother respected me and I valued that. Because I valued her respect, I avoided disappointing her. She almost never rose to anger, but she had a way of letting us know that our behavior was disappointing her. My dad was good at that, too. He was proud of us and we knew it. We never wanted to risk that.

I feel it is important to realize and remember that our children are just trying to become powerful. They like to learn ways to push buttons and get reactions from others. They like to make their friends laugh and they like to do things that confuse their parents. It is our job to figure out how to use their desire for power constructively. Help them find the joy and power of virtue.

I work with a lot of children. I usually find gentle ways to let them know that we will be more comfortable with each other by respecting each other's sensitivities. If they say something rude to me, for example, I might respond with words like, "Oh, those words didn't feel good in my ears and I don't want to let them into my heart. I want to be your friend, so could you try to use words that feel good in my ears?" Then I might ask them what words feel good in their ears. If they respond with some rebelliousness and say they like to hear words like 'poop', I let them know that I won't use words that taste bad in my mouth. Then we make a bit of a game out of finding the words that taste good to me and sound good to them.

I also like the technique of piquing their sense of maturity. If I am talking to a 7 year old, for example, I might say, "Are you 5 years old? Usually boys older than 5 don't talk that way. Do your 7 year old friends still talk like they're only 5? I thought 7 year olds were more careful about things like that." But, after reframing it for them, I leave them with an affirmation of respect, such as, "You seem so grown up in so many ways. I'm sure your sense of humor is about to grow up with the rest of you." Then I point out some of the more grown up virtues I see in them.

I am very grateful for my grandmother's wisdom and to "The Family Virtues Guide". They taught me how to see a child's challenges as 'teachable moments' and the language skills to mentor. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to raise my son without them. At 22, he still does not always say the most polite thing, and no one would call either of us prudish, but he is generally considerate and carries himself with a sense of virtue that directs and empowers his life. Isn't this what we really want for our children?

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C.C.

answers from Wichita on

Well some Parents do talk about that stuff. But others don't. It is just a drifferent's in how you were raised. I don't think that you are doing anything wrong.But that is just my opipion.

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T.M.

answers from Columbia on

Hi!

I grew up with 2 sisters. My middle sister and I have 5 boys between us. Age range 5-1. We are continually amazed how different boys are than girls! We don't talk about it either, but they seem to pick it up somewhere and it sticks. If only multiplication and division would stick like that! The talk about all the things you mentioned becomes very old very quickly. I talked to my husband about this and he said it is "just boys". They seem to absorb it like a sponge! Mine started referring to their testicles as "balls" and "nuts". I asked my husband to talk to them about it early on, and he asked what I wanted them to call them. I explained that I didn't understand why they had to talk about them at all! He said "that's what boys do", and it seems to be true as I watch other boys. Mine do not talk about it in public or at other people's houses but some of their friends do. It seems to happen more with boys who have brothers too, instead of boys with sisters or only children. We know both. When all 5 boys are together it is crazy! I still call them on it, but am beginning to think it is just boys.

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

Well let me say that my boys are now 12 & 9 and it is still going on! LOL

Yes rest assured as far as I am concerned it is normal, just keep on top of it I guess make some concequences for when they do use the words that you don't like!

These subjects are funny to kids and they know that it annoys us so they keep doing it. Also there is the option to try ignoring it cause if they see it does not bother you sometimes kids will stop!

Hang in there.

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

No I certainly don't think you are being a prude. You have a right to expect they act more like gentlemen. (Little ones of course) Perhaps if your husband really does the role modeling bit that will impress them more than the bad example they get on thes bus. You may consideer it extreme, but perhaps other transportation arrangements can be made for them to get to school?

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I also have a hard time with this but realized it's a battle I am not going to tackle constantly. It's not just boys either, girls talk like that too and really start at a young age. I teach 3-5 year old kids and just last night 3 girls were talking like this and laughing so I calmly told them we don't have potty talk in class and save that for the bathroom. It got them quiet but it is a constant thing to remind kids no matter how old they are or if they are a boy or a girl. I also work part time at the schools and hear it often but do say it's not appropriate talk and they usually change the subject but doesn't mean they won't talk about it later. I just keep reminding my kids that it's rude talk and isn't appropriate so hopefully by just telling them often will help them have better manners when they are not at home but it's a tough subject as some of the stuff they say is just funny and even hard for adults not to laugh.

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A.G.

answers from Kansas City on

LOL....I have 3 boys ages 8,7,and 6. NO you are not a bad mom, and yes it is just boys being boys. I sat there and read your request and started snickering cause for some reason no matter how many times you sit there and tell them not to talk like that, it's that much more funnier to them. At 7 and 4 I wouldn't worry about them at all, they are kids and thats what kids do...things to drive their parents crazy...LOL. Keep your rules and they will get better, just be patient with them and realize that every boy goes through it.
A.

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T.K.

answers from Springfield on

Yes, boys talk like that and they do think it's extremely funny. I have two boys, 27 and 24, and when they were younger they definitely exhibited the same behaviors and language (it could be MUCH worse!). The reason you don't see this in other boys is because yours are comfortable saying those things at home. I'll bet they don't do it in front of other adults, at least not on purpose. I'm pretty laid-back so it never bothered me, and yes, they do eventually grow out of it--but it may take a long time! If it really bothers you all you can really do is make it a rule that they can't say those words and stick to the rule. However, my guess is, they will still say them when you are not around.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Trust me you are not being a prude and they are totally and completely normal. I have 2 boys that are 8 & 6 and trust me it gets very lonely in a house with that much testosterone. I also set boundaries (i.e. no "potty talk" at the dinner table or in public). I tell them that they are more than welcome to talk to their friends about these things and I do let them joke around in the house about it, but they are beginning to understand when mom has had enough and they are aware that if they burp or pass gas then I still expect them to use manners and say excuse me. Believe me there comes a point when you just realize that if you can't beat them you join them. Good luck and let the good times role...I am fairly sure that they eventually have to grow out of this (haha).

J. S.
SAHM to 2 wonderful boys 8 & 6 and 7 month old twin girls.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

R., all I can say is "WAIT" until they get a little older. This is such a "guy thing" I am a 50 year old mother of two boys. Ages 13 and 10. They were always like like that with each other and would even measure, yes measure the size of their privates. Now that they are older they know not to talk like that in front of me. YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG!!!! I found that the more of a big deal I made of it, the more that they would behave in a way that I found inappropriate. It's OK to stand your ground and create boundries for them. But trust me, this will pass> Hope you find some rest.

K.

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