Buying a House. Is It Really This Hard

Updated on April 24, 2012
C.Z. asks from Manning, IA
24 answers

Ok so long story short me and bf and boys are in a small house. It is a fine fit but we are renting and it was only supposed to be temporary. We thought we had a house bought in Jan but the bank backed out on us. We have tried and tried and tried again to get financing for a house. 5 times total this year, and its only april. This is our first home that we are trying to buy and now we have found another that we like that is a little cheaper and actually has more space. Just less yard. But its closer to the park. I dont know if it is the rejection of the other loans but I told bf you can have at this one alone. My name isnt going on it and I dont want to know the details. If we decide to move let me know and I will start packing. Thats it! Was it this hard for everyone else to purchase their first home. I mean really I am so stressed about this. We need out of the tiny space we are in but the bank is holding us back. bf has good credit and well mine is shot because of student loans.

I need some reassurance that it is ok to struggle a little bit. It feels like I have to fight and work two jobs just to have the things that we really need.

Have you all been through this?

ETA so I know the key points it is 3bdrm 1 and 1/2 bath remodled downstairs and I know the price they want for it. I also know the offer he is going to make. I am in small town Iowa so I know exactly where it is the color and the shape of the outside of the house. Plus it is right between the job I work now and the one I am starting in a few weeks. I mean right in the middle. Ah to poops with it I like the house but will never tell bf that. I had the real estate agent show it to me. grrrr. I didnt want to see it. I really didnt even care anymore because of so many let downs. Now i am going to pout!!!

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

The issue was we where trying to purchase together. I called the bank and asked if he filed alone what we could get and fortunately we could afford the purchase of the house "he" is looking at( wink). My credit is horrible because I fell past due on some of my student loans. We are trying to rectify this issue so someday I can purchase the vehicle. This way we both have some credit building with the bank. I am so glad I asked you guys because I would have never thought that even his amazing credit score could be damaged so much by my bad one. THANKS A MILLION GUYS. Now to make an offer and hope everything flies from here

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We got pre-approved for a loan, so, no, it wasn't that hard...the hardest thing was finding something we liked. See about getting pre-approved. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Financing a house is MUCH harder today than it was a few years back. Banks are much stricter. You can Thank people like my neighbors who bought a new house and let their old one foreclose because they trashed it.
People like that and the bad economy ruined it for everyone!

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

No, I'm sorry - buying our home was never that hard in getting a loan...it was getting the offers accepted.

Knowledge is power. Get informed on your credit reports...since you have been declined - you should have received notices from all the places you have been turned down from. Send for your free credit reports from those letters.

Before you try for ANY other loan - home, car - ANYTHING - you MUST find out what is wrong with your credit and fix it.

If you have past due accounts - that are CURRENTLY PAST DUE? No way in h - e - double hockey sticks will you get a loan. If you have a discharged bankruptcy and are in debt again - no.

If there are things on your credit reports (pull ALL THREE) that are not accurate - you can dispute them and get them removed from your credit report. You don't need to pay someone to do this. You can do it yourself.

If you have tried FIVE times this year for a home loan and have been rejected - all of those show up and ding your credit report - bringing your credit score lower. STOP. Talk with the last loan officer who rejected you and find out WHY. If it's nothing you can do - because the reports are correct - then only time will correct it - that means you being fiscally responsible. if there are inaccuracies - dispute them.

Once you get your credit straightened out - then you need to get pre-approved. DO NOT LOOK AT or FOR ANY homes until you have been pre-approved. PERIOD. That is ONLY setting yourself up for disappointment.

Get informed girl. Get it straightened out. Get 'er done.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It is extremely difficult these days to get a mortgage loan. When we bought our house about 7 years ago (2004), the market was still booming and predatory lenders were making easy loans.

Once the bottom dropped out of the market, the days of the easy mortgage loan were gone. I refinanced 1 year ago. It was much, much harder than getting the original loan! I wanted to hang myself. It was so bad, they were asking for such detailed documentation, that my bank finally called them!

You truly have to have all of your ducks in a row - good credit score, low income to debt ratio, enough in savings to make down payment and pay closing costs. If you don't have this, you should stop looking until you do get your ducks lined up. Each time a lender checks your credit, your score takes a ding. Five checks in 4 months could be having a negative impact on bf's score making it harder to get the next loan you apply for.

After four rejections, I think you two need to get your house in order, so to speak, before applying again. In all honesty, I would wait another year, paying off anything and everything you can and saving as much as possible during that time.

5 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

If the bank isn't approving loans for the houses you want, your credit may not be high enough, or your debt to income ratio is too high. You should be able to ask the bank why they haven't approved the loans - they'll tell you the reason.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When we bought our (first and also after we sold and then bough our current) house we had to be PRE-APPROVED for a loan. At least that is what our realtor wanted us to do. Once we had our pre-approval letter we went shopping, then we knew that we could make an offer and our loan would be approved.

I'm confused as to why it is so difficult. You should always check your credit scores and fix any problems before shopping for a home.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

Buying a house is stressful. I haven't personally delt with finiancers since the downfall of the market. However, to be turned down several times tells me this has nothing to do with the bank, but that you are not in a financial position to purchase at this time.

The first step in purchasing a home is to meet with a mortgage broker or a banker and prequalify. Have you done this? Do you know the price range of a house that you can qualifty for as a couple or BF by himself? If you did prequalify, then why is the bank now backing out?
Also, why are you going with "the bank"? You often have a much better chance of qualifiying for a mortgage is if you deal with a mortgage broker.

Before you continue on this vicious cycle, take a step back. Review your finances. Listen to what your banker is telling you. Find out why you don't qualify and fix the problem.

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it is (and should be) a big deal. going into hock for that much money should never be undertaken lightly, and it's good that banks now have to ...er.....actually check the finances of people they lend to before handing over the loot.
there's no point in looking at houses until your financial house is in order. if you've been rejected that many times, there's a huge red flag. your mortgage broker (you've got one, right?) should be working with you on fixing this. so should your realtor. you need to have a good team of smart professionals working for you on this.
student loans don't give you bad credit, they jack up your debt-to-income ratio. this is very important. it doesn't mean the banks are mean, it means they feel, with good reason, that there's not enough disposable income in your budget and you won't be able to keep up with the payments. so you need to consolidate your student loans, or raise your income, or save up a larger down payment, or stay off the mortgage.
if you actually have negative credit ie missed or late payments, you need to start being extremely conscientious about fixing that, and work with your mortgage broker on steps you can take to up your score. it will probably take some time.
if your BF is a new relationship you need to make sure you're legally covered. never a hugely great idea to make this sort of financial commitment to someone you barely know.
good luck!
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sometimes it is that hard. Please put your name on the house along with your boyfriend's, though. If you break up, he'll have a house and you'll have nothing.

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Building our first home was easy! Did I mention that was twenty years ago and my ex's dad sat on the board of the bank? :p That is the gods truth.

My now husband and I have been trying to refinance this same house for a year. Yes it is that hard. :(

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Have you asked your realtor why you aren't getting approved for financing? Do you have a realtor?

In my experience, buying a home was very easy. I'm not saying that to rub it in. I'm just sharing my experience. It was 2 1/2 years ago, that we went through the process. I don't know how hard it would be now, if we were to go through this process again. Here's the thing...we had nearly perfect credit and we had a good income to debt ratio. We got pre-approved for more then we ended up financing. My realtor told me, that credit and income have become VERY important in this climate. On top of that, duration of employment is important. Our employment had been for several years. How long have you been at your current jobs? What about the ones before that? You must have good credit, and your income to debt ratio must be low. Do you know what your credit is like? How much of your income goes to paying down debt, if you have any? I would suggest consulting with a realtor, if you haven't. They can be more specific as to why financing is falling through. If there are certain reasons why you can't secure a loan, then you can work on fixing that. The more you apply for loans, it can really affect your credit.

3 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yep, it sucks and it's stressful, especially in this current economic climate of the collapsed housing industry and banks are leery of lending right now unless EVERY duck is in a row. Just be thankful that you aren't trying to sell AND buy at the same time right now ... I think I bit every one of my nails clear off when we had to do the whole contingency thing last time (we had this crazy buyer who we had to prod along at every mark along the way, grrrr!)

2 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

On top of what Cheryl said I want to caution you on moving into a house with a man you are not married to and with the idea that you do not have to be on the deed.
If you intend to stay with him, make sure your name is on everything, his car, his bike, your car, the house.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Cheryl O. said it all.

1 mom found this helpful
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W..

answers from Chicago on

Yes. Buying a house is the most stressful thing you'll ever do..... unless you have a ton of money :-)

It's actually usually much easier for ONE person to buy the house. Then, after closing he can do what's called a "quick claim deed" which will put your name on the title, mortgage EVERYTHING. But it holds you responsible for the loan as well (so even though you don't want to know the details..... you should know a few of the key ones!!!!).

Good Luck and keep your sense of humor!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

We've now sold two houses and bought two, and it's never been that difficult. Three years ago, the market was a seller's market--it went fast, people got approved quickly, and you got a good price for your house. Now it's more of a buyer's market, although bank approvals are harder to come by, but they're definitely not impossible. If you've been rejected five times, check out why. I'm echoing what others have said--if there's an inaccuracy, fix it. If it's accurate, perhaps you need to find out what it is in your spending habits that needs to be fixed before you can buy. I would also second the idea of pre-approval. You will then have a number to use while you are searching. Neither of our realtors would work with us until we had pre-approval papers and a number to go with it--they didn't want to waste their time looking at houses we couldn't afford, just for fun. Yes, the process of buying a house is time consuming: you put the offer in, you dicker over price, the seller may or may not be ok with your contingencies, you have an inspection done, you determine whether there are fixes to be done, the seller determines whether or not they're going to do them, you have an appraisal done by the bank (and if it's an FHA loan, it can be quite extensive, requiring much on the part of the seller), you do a walk through on the house to determine that it is, in fact the same house it was when you started this process, you fill out title papers and loan papers, and finally you get to close. Yes, it's a long process, but it should not be painful--after all, you are buying something worth thousands of dollars; this process assures you that you are, in fact, getting what you think you are. It's long, but it should not be hard unless your finances are off.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I have not been through this but I think it is good advice to check on the credit reports and any other financial issues before you do anything else. When you know the finances work then start looking at houses.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

20 years ago my husband and I bought our first house. We used a farmers home loan aka first time homeowners loan and going through all the paper work and everything I told my husband that I was going to die in this house because I will NEVER go through the hassle of purchasing a home again! We are still here..lol. Yes it is a lot of hassles.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I don't mean to be harsh, but I just read your profile, and you say you have had a boyfriend for 7 months. Wow I'd be thinking long and hard about going into such a big life committment as buying a house with someone that you probably don't really know that well. Maybe the bank backing out on you 5 times is really a blessing in disguise. Whatever the case, I hope things turn out well for you.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

the realestate agent should be able to tell you why the bank part is not working. if there is something in your credit report that needs fixing.

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S.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Depends if you are trying to get a short sale or foreclosure. I would only look at traditional sales if you are having trouble.

As for you being on the loan....I have never been on our house loan. I am more of a liability than an asset (although I have better credit, but both are great). I mostly stay at home with the kids and had student loans and all credit card debt in my name. It would totally hurt us to get a loan with me on it. I am on the title of the house...and that is all that matters!

Maybe this house is the right one for you and it just needed to be the right time. I wish you luck!

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K.M.

answers from New York on

First off if you ask someone who bought their house even a year ago they have not had to deal with what you will have to deal with. I have bought my house 9 years ago and based on the same information it would have been hard to impossible for me to buy a house today. I know in today's economy and the number of forclosures situation is what is holding banks back from giving loans the way they used to. It takes much longer today to get approved and it doesn't mean that you are doing anything wrong. However the more loans you try to get the more your credit score goes down. Try to get you and your boyfriends credit reports and figure out if you can dispute some of the information if inaccurate. Best of luck to you! If the house doesn't work out you can always look for bigger renting space.

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yep, we are in the middle of a short sale purchase. Offer, counter-offer, ugggh. We haven't even started the full financing situation. First time ever we made too much money to qualify for a program, guess it's a good problem to have.

Why the hell can't these people get back to you in a timely manner? That's what I want to know. They want everything right this second then take DAYS to get back to you on stuff. GRRRR...

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

It shouldn't be this hard. You either have some kind of issue with your credit or you are buying over your head. If you are struggling, working two jobs why are you trying to buy something that is causing stress? Save some money and buy when you have a big payment to put down.

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