Cancelling Plans Last Minute by Text-am I the Only One....

Updated on September 29, 2010
S.J. asks from Miami, FL
27 answers

I’m not much into texting as so many people are. One of my friends/neighbor uses text to communicate with me all the time and they are lengthy. I’ll tease her that it would have been quicker for her to call. When I want to talk, I call. Our conversations don’t usually last more than 5-10 minutes.

She and I have been friends for about 3 years now. Her texting habit is getting rather annoying. She will text about everything. I would tease her that had she just called our conversation would have lasted about the same amount of time it took her to text.

When I get the most annoyed is when she texts me at the last minute to cancel plans like she did last night (we were going to take boys to the park. I went without her). She is rather flakey with all of her friends.

The funniest thing about it is that one time I asked her what her biggest pet peeve was and she said “flakey people”! I laughed so hard and said you must annoy yourself a lot as you are the flakiest person I know. She started laughing and said oh geez I am, aren’t I?!!

Does anyone feel like me about this or am I the only one? Who cancels at the last minute by text?

By the way I prob sound a bit behind the times I guess. I only have a simple flip phone while all my friends have blackberry, iphone, ipad/touch (?)…LOL!

Sorry for the rant but can you tell it’s really starting to bug me?? The vent feels good!

ADDED: I guess I should have been clearer ; it's not regular texting that is annoying. It's cancelling plans at the last minute by text that is.

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So What Happened?

My friend sent me a text last nite asking if I'm mad at her!! LOL I haven't spoken to her since she cancelled on me.

I immediately called her and said I'm not mad that you cancelled, but that I was put off by her canceling last minute by text. I also mentioned how excited my son was at the prospect of going to the park with his best buddy and how disappointed he was as we're leaving when I had to tell him that he couldn't make it.

She said she was so sorry and that she was just too tired to go to the park. I then told her that is fine, but I would appreciate her letting me know sooner and by phone call. We had made the plans that morning and we were to go to the park at 5:00. My point is that she waited until 5 minutes before to cancel. In the end it doesn’t matter. I take my son to the park all the time and we went anyway. Next time I told her I would not tell my son that they were coming with us until we are all leaving to go!!!

All is forgiven and she promised never to do it again….canceling last minute by text that is! =-)

Featured Answers

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

I used to dislike texting. I love it now that I got into it. I used to think it was so hard to text out a message but its actually quite easy once you get into it and more practice.

I guess in my perspective, what would be the difference if she had called you and canceled at the last minute. Seems like canceling at the last minute is more the issue than the texting complaint.

See me, I prefer answering a question by text rather than the phone because I am on the phone all day long and being on it when I get home is not fun for me. But that's just how I feel.

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I've got three teenagers and although I consider myself a technophobe, I have warmly embraced texting.

I am NOT a phone talker, never have been, friends and family members who text, I communicate with on a daily basis. Those who don't I rarely talk to.

I LOVE keeping track of my kids. They will always answer a text. It's a great tool for families.

I totally agree with you there are inappropriate times for texting.
I don't think it's going to go away though!

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I text all the time. It helps because I can talk all the time without my kids hearing what I'm saying. My husband and I sometimes communicate via text if we are not at home together and need to have some type of discussion. Because we both get so heated...sometimes texts make it worse though. But yea, I text all the time. It's more private and is easier if someone can't respond right away. I, on the other hand, despise voicemails!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If she likes to text, so be it, and the fact that she likes to send you notes means she is thinking of you and likes you :) But texting to cancel plans in never ok, and I would talk to her about this. I know that I do not always have my phone on me, so I might not get a text until later, so if you are going to cancel you need to actually talk to the person to be sure they get the message.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

If someone expected me to know that they texted me a message, they'd better call me and tell me to check my phone.

Texting is not on my list.

J.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,

Instead of voicing your annoyance under the guise of "teasing", tell your friend that you don't text and you don't want to be texted. If she needs to communicate do it in person or by phone. I would also tell her that you are disappointed when she breaks/cancels plans at the last minute.

For me, unless there is a legitimate emergency, when someone does a last minute cancellation, it seems like they were waiting for a better offer and I was just a time slot filler.

Try letting her be the one that initiates the next few invitations. Back away from the friendship for a while. Make some new friends.

Blessings...

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H.H.

answers from New York on

I am a fan of texting for the most part. I feel like it saves so much time, like if I need to tell my sister something and I call her we could end up on the phone for an hour! Texting, I get my point across asap and save the chitchat for when we both have time.

I do think that the whole texting society has lowered etiquette standands considerabley. It is not OK to cancel last minute via text unless you first phone and are unable to reach, IMHO.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I usually text because I have ADHD and it's easier for me to pay attention to the conversation if it's in text form, that way I don't get distracted and forget half the conversation.

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

How about people texting in movie theaters - that really irritates me.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Would you have been as unhappy if she had called you to cancel her plans? I think last-minute cancellations (except in an emergency, of course) are, well, annoying. Sometimes they're even ill-mannered.

I can't say anything about texting because my husband doesn't want the expense of my doing that. I don't really know if I can make my thumbs work that fast, anyhow....

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am not bothered by text its just being inconsiderate that bothers me. Unless her kids got sick or something urgent its not very nice to make a habit of canceling on people if she wants to continue the friendship.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

I'm not a text person, but I am an email/facebook person. You cannot get ahold of me by phone, and I cannot call anyone. Its a HUGE hassle to call someone, even for 5 minutes because I cannot hear on the phone and my kids always think that when mommy's on the phone its time to go crazy.

I know a lot of people who only like to talk on the phone, and I know a lot of people (like me) who can't talk on the phone. You have to know who your players are and accommodate them. I don't know what your friend's reasonings are, but she obviously has them. Just know that this is the way she communicates and go with it.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My husband and his whole office are so into texting it drives me nuts. One time I put his phone in the fridge (not freezer) over night. Interesting thing about the fridge. The phone can't receive transmissions in there. So when you take it out they all start pouring in. I would never do it, but sometimes I ask my husband how much it would cost to replace his phone. I dream of handing him the cash, taking his phone and smashing it with a mallet. Sure he could replace it inside of 1 or 2 days, but the satisfaction would almost be worth it.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh yes- right there with you sister! Nothing is more annoying and also amusing to me than to watch a grownup sitting there texting on their phone like a teenager!! Glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

And I really HATE it when you are talking with someone and they begin texting mid-conversation!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I text because if someone is busy, they can respond whenever they want. For me its easier, and my phone has a regular mini keyboard, so its pretty fast and easy for me. =) If your really annoyed just tell her you are now getting charged for texts through your carrier and you cant do it anymore.

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S.B.

answers from Savannah on

i started using texting in the past year. I think it's awesome...but ONLY for quick notes. I would never cancel plans via text or write lengthy things. It is convenient for quicky things...but not for a conversation or flaking. I think that's rude.
when I didn't text I used to tell my friends and family I didn't have texting on my phone and said I got charged for texts (which was true after so many texts).

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it is easier to text. I will text my husband if we need milk, girlfriend to see if her weekend is open, kids to tell them time to come home....etc. We have unlimited texting on our plan. I absolutley agree that canceling plans through text is rude though.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

i never thought i would text, but since i got a phone that is basically made for texting thats pretty much all i do. Plus my relationship with my husband has gotten better because of it, he works on oil rigs and has bad reception, but can send and recieve texts with ease. We talk all day now.

I dont know, i usually dont text speak like omg, rofl brb ttyl, i type most things out, but i certainly prefer the convenience of this technology

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I also hate texting! We only got it recently b/c my brother's girlfriend was pregnant and we knew he would never call us when the baby was born, but he would text.

I especially hate when I'm out with a group of people, and they're playing with their stupid phones instead of talking! Like, dude, I'm sure your droid is interesting and fun, but I'm right here trying to have a conversation!

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Sometimes it's easier for me to grab my phone and text, or some of my friends prefer texts because sometimes they're too busy to get to the phone, or a baby is sleeping, etc. And what I have to say is just that, doesn't need a response or can wait for one, doesn't need to be a conversation. I have two friends who don't text at all, and it's pretty inconvenient considering sometimes as a preschool class coordinator I can contact everyone as a group except these two, then I have to take time, hope my kids are quiet, stop what I'm doing, and call them. It's really much easier to text! These two friends just tell everyone they can't get texts or have to pay for texts, and we all try to remember that!

Added: maybe tell her you didn't get the text and went anyway, not knowing she wasn't coming until you happened to look at your phone, and that next time please call if cancelling so you'll get the message! :)

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E.S.

answers from Asheville on

My husband did something REALLY bad last week and apologized by text the next day. Still waiting for the real one. Probably never get it.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm new to texting, too, as I got an iPhone for Christmas last year. While I think it's useful, it definitely isn't for long messages. I would say if you don't want her to text, don't respond to the messages. Or you can just let her know you don't text much, so just call instead.

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

I hate texts but I admit they have their convenience moments. I tell my friends I prefer a phone call. Just be honest with your friend and say, "please don't cancel on me via text, it is like being dumped on a post-it." ;)
I am a very frank and honest person. When you beat around the bush, people usually miss the message. Plus, they will appreciate knowing how you really feel instead of something superficial.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I've got a neighbor that texts me randomly--sometimes I just don't respond. And I think canceling by text IS flakey and cowardly!

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I get annoyed because I don't have texting on my cell phone plan.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Why did she cancel? If you're just going to the park, is one child sick? It depends upon the reason. But she sounds like she'd lie and make a believable excuse up...so yes, can't stand flaky people with flaky excuses. Best to invite them last minute or as a tag along with another friend, if you don't want to be left alone.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My best friends husband texted her to tell her his dad had been found dead in Utah by the side of the road sitting in his pick up truck. She had been playing Scrabble on-line and then was helping a customer at the store and had her cell on vibrate. I told her her phone was vibrating and she said they'll send a text if it's important...well, wasn't it important.

She is one of those who text everything. If she texts me I usually just pick up and call her, I tell her I get tired of pushing all the buttons and would rather just talk. Then it's over and done with.

And yes, I do get texts telling me of a change in plans sometimes after we are supposed to be somewhere.

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