Can't Fall Asleep

Updated on March 09, 2016
M.C. asks from Olympia, WA
16 answers

I am a 49 year old woman who is tired. Periodically I can't fall asleep. I will lay in bed for a couple of hours, then finally get up and take something to help me relax (a prescription). I don't like taking it. I am going to keep track, but generally it happens around my cycle. I don't have a TV in my room...I do like to read before I go to sleep(one of my only "me time" things I do). I tried lavender essential oil but it didn't seem to do anything. I went to my doc and tried a prescription antidepressant that has sleep inducing qualities, but nothing. I do finally fall asleep..but morning then comes really early and my best sleep happens right before I have to get up. I try very hard not to nap...but sometimes I am so tired I feel nauseous. Suggestions please?

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So What Happened?

Thank you ladies! There are lots of good ideas here I will try. I'm sad many of you experience this same thing, but glad I am not alone.

Featured Answers

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I know someone who swears by eating brazil nuts before bed and that something in them helps her to not have insomnia and she can fall asleep. It's worth a try!

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D..

answers from Miami on

Sounds to me like you are in peri-menopause. If I were you, I'd be talking to your gyn.

I have a really hard time with sleep, too. Hot flashes and night sweats, or my husband have woken me and then I can't get back to sleep. Going to sleep isn't too bad...it's staying asleep that is so hard for me.

I do know that sometimes when you're winding down, you feel just a little hint of sleepiness. THAT'S when you should go bed. If you don't, then your body gets its "second wind".

Try doing your nightly routine early. Be ready, with nothing to deter you from laying down and just closing your eyes. Read your fun books earlier in the day. Instead, read boring books. If you have too much stress before reading your book, you might take the time for a warm bath to help you unwind.

If you MUST take a pill to sleep, I would take Ambien. It's cheaper to get the 10 mg pill, but don't take more than half of it - it's too strong. It gives you at least 6 hours of sleep. Don't take it every night - instead, not more than 3 times a week. I know you don't want to take a pill, but it's essential that you get more sleep. People who don't can get in real trouble with their health.

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

I use an air purifier which not only helps with my dust allergy but also provides some white noise to drown out my husband's snoring and decreases other distractions. I focus on listening to the sound, rather than allowing my intruding thoughts, and that usually does the trick.

oh and we swear by the sleepytime tea. even my 14 year old has some before he goes to bed. very soothing.

hoping you get some relief........the world is hard enough as it is without adding this factor into the equation....

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Well, it sounds like it's cyclical, and if you are 49 and nearing menopause, that can wreak havoc with hormones.

I have 2 thoughts to add to what others have said. You are lying in bed for too long before getting up to do something - a few hours is too long to sit there and stress about it. And as a result, you finally get up to take a prescription, and by the time it kicks in and you're asleep, it's morning and time to get up.

I'd also check with the doctor on whether this medication should be taken so late in the night or whether it's messing up your normal biorhythms. And if you haven't had a full work-up with blood work and hormone levels, you might discuss that. Single ingredients (like lavender essential oil) don't really have much effect on the body. Comprehensive nutrition is better. There is something you can take (not a medication, but also patented so you know it's been scrutinized and it's unique, not thrown out on the public by just any old knock-off company), but you don't just take it on "those nights". It helps with a number of things, not just sleep - anti-aging, anti-oxidants, helping the pituitary gland, and other functions. But even that is not a "one night on, one night off" sort of thing. I've been to many trainings over the years in my field of food science, and have worked with a number of dietary agents that are highly beneficial. I would think some non-prescription help with your changing cycle might make a huge difference.

It sounds like you are limiting your screen time at night, which is great. Reading is fine if you are choosing the right kinds of books that don't get you too riled up or even just too fascinated that you keep turning the pages to read "just one more chapter." There are meditation CDs that help you zone out a bit, and you can put them on a "snooze" setting so they go off by themselves after you doze off.

And be aware that sleep-deprived people are a risk behind the wheel, and they also (according to new studies) seem to put on weight much more than people who are well rested with quality REM sleep. It doesn't really have anything to do with eating.

Finally, it might be worth discussing a sleep study. People can have sleep apnea and not realize it.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Welcome to my world. I swear the older we get, the more this happens. I just won't take anything. I am up every night for several hours. Yes deep sleep right before I need to get up. I have just gotten used to this.

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have the same problem. I'm going to be 49 in a couple weeks. I have a hard time falling asleep, I wake up what seems like every 30 minutes, I generally wake up around 4-5am and either lay there or just get up. I'm home so I do generally get a nap in 2x per week. I don't have any caffeine or chocolate or any other stimulant many hours before bed.

We don't have a TV in our room, I do read before bed, which helps, I used to take 5 mini Benadryl tabs but surprisingly they only helped with allergies, not sleep. And now I take 2 Tylenol PM's but they only help with my knees and I have not seen any difference in sleeping better. I have also tried every single OTC med and took more than prescribed and still nothing helped. I'm not a fan of prescription meds so I have learned to just embrace it since it seems nothing helps.

I know that doesn't help you much but just wanted to let you know you are not the only one. I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I think it's part of peri-menopause. I'm around the same age and my friends and I go through this.

Doris has a very good point. If I don't go to bed when I first get tired, I'm like a kid - I get that second wind, or as I put it, overtired.

So I start getting ready for bed early. Bath, contacts out, pajamas on, teeth brushed early. Then I go watch TV downstairs. Minute I yawn or my eyes feel heavy, up I go to bed. Read a few pages, then I can fall asleep.

If I watch TV in my bedroom - I'm screwed. I won't fall asleep or it will be broken sleep.

If I stay up to deal with something or I'm stressing over something and miss that golden moment, then it's much harder to shut off brain and get back to that nice fuzzy state where sleep is easy.

I have friends who take anti-anxiety pills to sleep. I think whatever it takes, just to get caught up is sometimes the answer. I think my restless leg syndrome pills have an anti-anxiety type benefit to them so they're probably helping me to nod off.

Lavender oil has never helped anyone I know either.

I have anemia which messed up your energy levels. You might want to get your blood checked - sometimes that can affect sleep too.

Oh - and mine is much worse around my cycle too - think that's quite common. For me, I don't sleep at all for about 4 days. I also get migraines. Hormones are annoying.

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T.D.

answers from Springfield on

i randomly use melatonin (found at a local health foods store) it works to naturally induce sleep. makes me sleepy and i do't feel groggy in the morning, like i do with meds (tylenol pm or benadryl)

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try Sleepytime Peppermint Chamomille Tea by Celestial Seasonings. It helps me relax.

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P.1.

answers from San Francisco on

I have suffered from insomnia for years! I think I have tried every OTC and herbal remedy out there, including every wives tale anyone has every heard and eventually broke down at times and used pharmaceuticals. This last year has been really bad - between serious menopause symptoms and stress I remember saying to my husband around Christmas time that I would sell one of my kids for 4 straight hours of sleep. Then I started exercising every day as part of my New Years Resolution. When I hit 20 minutes of heart elevated exercise on a daily basis, my insomnia stopped (it took me a couple of weeks to work up to that level). I still suffer from premature waking at times (especially under stress), but the falling asleep part is SOOOO much better. I had a couple of days last week that I couldn't do my 20 minutes due to a family mini-crisis and the first thing I noticed is that I had a harder time falling asleep again (the second thing I noticed was I got really crabby). I exercise on my lunch hour - doing it too close to bedtime would probably keep me up.

Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Asheville on

Have you had your vitamin levels checked? I was suffering from issues with falling asleep for a while, and I attributed it to hormones. In my last physical, it was discovered that I was low on Vitamin D. I take a supplement now, and my sleep issues have resolved. It might be worth discussing with your doctor.

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm so sorry! Doesn't sound fun at all. Since you say it happens right around your cycle, I would definitely consult with your OB-GYN. I would also find a quiet moment to reflect on any stressors going on in your life that might be contributing to the problem, as getting in to bed for the night does seem to lend itself to anxiety, worry and racing thoughts about anything that might be bothering us. I hope you find a solution soon as lack of sleep wreaks havoc on our bodies and minds. There's always a glass of wine, which some people swear by.:) If you find you've exhausted all your resources, a sleep study may offer you some answers.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Couple of suggestions. When I have a hard time falling asleep, I lay with my eyes closed, and clear my mind, literally do not allow myself to think of anything, and repeat, in my head, over and over "sleep....sleep..." You could also try Excedrin PM. That works better for me to help me sleep than anything else I've ever taken. But don't take it too late because if you don't get enough sleep, you will be groggy. Finally, I would encourage the naps. I find that if I don't doze a bit while watching tv at night, then I don't sleep well that night. Sleep begets sleep.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

About twice a year I get a 3 day bout of insomnia.
During those days - nothing helps.
I just stick to my routine and I know I'll sleep again - it'll just take a few days - and then I'm fine and back in the swing of things.

I can't have ANY caffeine after noon.
In fact, one cup of coffee early in the morning is about all I can have.
I wake up and go to sleep same times every morning and evening - even on weekends.
No tv or any screen time 2 hrs before bedtime.
I read to relax.
Sometimes some chamomile tea before bed is nice.
Melatonin an hour before bedtime can help.
Exercise in the afternoon also helps.

If you are having more than an intermittent occasional problem, then your doctor should probably have you do a sleep study.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I wake up every day around 4:00 am and am awake for 1-2 hours unless I take Tylenol PM. (I'm not sure if the Benedryl (PM) keeps me asleep or if the Tylenol is helping with the achiness in my knees.) I don't what to do about it long term but I am lucky I am able to take a morning nap after my kids get on the school bus. You are not alone.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Several years ago, I had difficulty going to and staying asleep. My PCP referred me to a sleep specialist. After answering questions, she decided I didn't need a sleep study. She prescribed Trazadone, which was used for depression in the distant past. I take 2 50mg tablets 30 minutes or so before I go to bed. It took me a month or so for it to consistently help me.

My body has built up a resistance. It's recommended nto to take more. The sleep specialist said to get out of bed and leave the room if you're still not asleep in 30 minutes. I sometimes think I go to sleep faster when I don't read at night.

My daughter started giving Melatonin to her children because they were up all night. It calmed them down enough that within 30 minutes they went to bed and fell asleep. I tried it. Made a noticable difference in getting to sleep. I'm still taking the prescription Trazadone with the intent to drop the Trazadone and only take Melatonin.

My hyper teen grandson has been taking an OTC sleep aid that contains an antihystamine. The melatonin works better. I have a couple senior age friends who use Benedryl. I don't like how it makes me feel more groggy than sleepy.

I have no side affects from the generic form of Trazadone or the Melatonin. I wake up refreshed even when I went to bed late. If I continue to read for an hour or more, I no longer feel sleepy but I am usually able to get to sleep within a half hour.

If I remember correctly, I began having consistent, nearly every night, unable to sleep for a few months in my late 30's. I took L- lysine until it was no longer available. (Perhaps for 6 months to a year) i began having trouble again in my 60's. Mostly sleepless nights started in my 60's. Anxiety is one cause for my sleep difficulty.

Another possible reason for my difficulty is my irregular bedtime and watching TV up until 30 minutes or so. I received information about sleep hygiene from the specialist. Have room cool or at a comfortable temperature. Use bedroom only for sleep. Prepare for sleep by slowing down to relaxation before bedtime. If you can't stop your mind is thinking, write down your thoughts. I've found Journaling helpful. Also helpful is to make a list of what you have to do and when for the next day.

When you try different ways, be sure to consistently do them for at least two weeks. This is sleep training.

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