Can't Sleep Through the Night

Updated on June 16, 2014
J.P. asks from Barrigada, GU
16 answers

Hello, I have a 13 month old baby boy who still cannot sleep through the night. I try to feed him a heavy dinner and then I give him 8 ounces of milk before he goes to bed. He refuses to sleep in his crib so he sleeps on a futon in his room. He wakes up 3-4 times a night for more milk. My husband and I take turns sleeping with him in his room. I tried the warm bath before bed and that didnt work. The only thing that did work was making him cry to sleep but i stopped that because I felt so bad. I felt like I was torturing him. So if anyone has any other ideas... I need help please. If anyone can help me out--i would really appreciate it. Thanks!

update:

My son takes two naps during the day, for about 2 hours. He is a very healthy child. I talked to his pediatrician about his sleeping habits and she just advised me the normal: warm baths, heavy dinner, set a routine. I think my son is just extremely spoiled.

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M.D.

answers from Honolulu on

Have you tried anything nutritionally? I can connect you to some moms who have had great results with things like this just by adding a nutritional product.

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T.L.

answers from Honolulu on

has he ever been able to sleep thru the night? my son will have interrupted sleep whenever he hits a milestone (walking talking, teething)or a growth spurt.
when he wakes up in the middle of the night, do you immediately respond or wait for him to come get you or cry? if you don't respond immediately, will he put himself back to sleep? Is he following his growth curve at his well-baby appointments? Does he have a set routine every night? for instance, DS gets yogurt at 7pm & bath within about 20 minutes, baby massage (putting on his lotion), a few stories & songs then bed by about 745pm. Sounds kinda silly, but it works ;0)

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J.G.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi there! You didn't mention in your letter what type of activities your baby does during the day, or how long his afternoon naps are - could they be factors in why he doesn't get much sleep at night? I would find and plan for more activity, physical and intellectual, for daytime play and let him know that night time is time for resting by not allowing for entertainment at night; keep the house quiet and dark, and although you check him when he cries, let him know that you will not be playing. For my children I laid next to them and pretended I was sleeping until they finally went to sleep. After a while they got the rhythm of day and night. I hope this helps.

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S.K.

answers from Honolulu on

How long does he sleep in the afternoon? Try shortening his afternoon nap or moving it up. Also, I believe that laying with him is a great idea. Or even putting him in his crib and then patting his head etc. until he drifts off---it may take time either way but it's worth it. I'm not a big fan of letting babies cry it out---I don't think it's good for their security etc.

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M.D.

answers from Honolulu on

I hope this helps...have you tried playing music in the room...say leaving the radio on perhaps? It doesn't have to be loud but enough for him to hear...it could be a way to make him feel relaxed. Also, does he like to hold anything while he sleeps? Say a pillow, blanket, or favorite stuffed toy? I think what will tire him out also is by playing with him...make him giggle, try to make him walk, crawl, anything to move that body. I hope my suggestions help. Good Luck!

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T.B.

answers from Honolulu on

wow thats alot of getting up during the night!! i have 13 month old son also. but he is one of 4 and i tell you at the end of the day i dont want to fight with him i just want some time to relax. so here is my advice, take it or not. dont feel bad the only way he will learn how to comfort himself is to accually do it. it may take a good few days to a week of "feeling bad" but if you dont do it now it will be worse later. i think that the crib is the best option for sleeping. my son takes 1-2 naps a day for 4-6hours and then 12 hours of uninerupted night time sleep. i always put him in his bed and turn on his mobile, turn the light off and close the door. and that is it. Another peice of advice, if he wakes up dont give him milk just give him water. he probably gets enough milk during the day that giving him a little water at night wont hurt, but if he knows that if he wakes up he will only get water maybe he wont wake up. as i said it will only take a few days, good luck. things wont change unless you change them:)

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E.C.

answers from Honolulu on

It sounds like you tried everythinng, maybe you should take him to the clinic just to make sure that he's all right cause kids this age cant tell us whats wrong so maybe you shuold get him check to make sure that he's ok.

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J.V.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi J., I read your situation, then continued on w/ the other women's questions, and there was one similar to yours and many women advised against heavy dinners and bedtime soon after. With my 4 children who are all grown, they were all different, but for me as a parent, getting up in the middle of the night, and getting up many times was the hardest for me, so I understand. But I hope you will be encouraged that this to will pass. Some kids wake up alot of times, and some don't. But I remembered that when we had kadu (clear soup w/chicken and veggies,)for dinner, and dinner wasn't late, they would sleep better. I think it's because Kadu is a comfort food. If you don't have time to cook it, order it fr Linda's Cafe in East Agana. I think it's called Chicken Tanola there. Try putting alittle of ea, the chicken in tiny pieces, some of the broth and a little of the white rice together, make sure it's cooled off, (they serve it piping hot) and see if that helps. Kadu even makes adults very relaxed and satisfied.
One of the other moms responding said to rub coconut oil on your childs tummy, it's soothing.
And most of all, pray to the Lord for wisdom for yourself and your husband in this situation, and ask Him to either make your baby sleep more thru the nite, or to give you and your husband the alertness during the night to keep waking up when your son needs you, and for strength thru the day.

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M.P.

answers from Honolulu on

Some kids, and adults for that matter never sleep through the night. It is perfectly normal for some people. As others have suggested, I would try to see if he'd be willing to gradually transition into one 2hr nap a day...that can be difficult, but it involves keeping him busy and active and distracted.

I would not let him cry to sleep, that can be emotionally damaging. Hang in there!

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C.T.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi J.,

Try to keep you baby up most of the day, then by night your baby should be tired. Of course, he can take a nap, but try not to make your baby take a long nap. Play with your baby, take him out of the house, for a walk or do something he likes, so by evening time, he should be tired. Try not to over feed him at night.

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A.L.

answers from Honolulu on

Hello J. just read your cry for help.First of all if there is nothing medically wrong with your son,I gather the doctor gave him a complete check-up,I was wondering if he does this every night. I had a nephew who did the same thing and the parents were told he was colic. they would drive him around at night just to calm him.Another odd remedy is to turn on the vacuum cleaner the sound calms him. What does he eat? Is he eating table food or does he just drink milk and baby cereal.Does he go to the nursery? If he does he could be sleeping most of the day. You mentioned that you and your husband take turns sleeping with him,does he stop crying then.If so maybe he needs your warmth and security.Some children are just that way.Move the crib into your room just until he gets over his insecurity.Better some sleep than none at all and I mean for you and your husband. I don't profess to be an expert hope I don't offend you. By the way are you Catholic,if so have the house blessed even if it was done before do it again.Once again make sure there is nothing medically wrong with him.complete check up blood work and all,I find it hard to believe in a child being to spoiled hope things get better for you and your family God Bless you and your family Thanks for your time Si Ana LG.

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L.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi! Maybe he has gas , try rubbing coconut oil on his stomach.. put a little bit on your hand and rub your hands to warm up the oil then rub it on his stmoch. hope it works.. it worked for me...

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M.R.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi J.,
Do you let your baby take naps during the day? When my children were that young I have them take a short nap during the day, at least 2 hours, or keep them busy during the day, so when it was time to shower and eat they would fall asleep until the early mornings. I hope this helps. M.

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A.Y.

answers from Honolulu on

My DD (Darling Daughter) is only 6 months old but there are times when DH (Darling Husband) and I can't get her to relax enough to go to sleep. We know she's tired but, if this makes any sense, soo tired she can't go to sleep. At the moment my DD and your Ds (darling Son) are too young for journaling time before bed. That's where you and your LO (Little One) sit together and write in your own journals and recap the day. Kids can just draw pictures in there own journal or you can write in their journal for them while they dictate to you what they did that day.The act of sitting in bed and recapping the day together makes for an easier transition into bed time. Plus those last moments of quality time together before sleep I've read the child that they can sleep in comfort and without bedtime anxiety. But until we can do that DH and I keep a routine of bath/shower before bed and we let DD roll around and play with us until I see that she gets calmer. But this only works if we aren't distracted by anything, she can tell if we aren't giving her our undivided attention and this just prolongs her falling asleep. So don't answer phone calls and turn off the TV. They just want to feel safe and comfortable follow their cues and don't get distracted by what you might want to do at that time. Make bedtime a special one and one event to look forward too : ) Well I hope everything works out for you. I've gotten plenty of help from other moms on this parenting forum I'm always on, mothering.com/discuss or diaperswappers.com/forum. Also there's a great Non-profit Organization for Micronesia based out of Guam called Island Families, they promote natural parenting and such. They also have been a great help to me. You can check them out at islandfamilies.com

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B.W.

answers from Eugene on

http://www.babywisebooks.com/babywise-method/ is the best article I have ever seen on this topic. It lists the five leading experts/authors in the world on it and shows who the original is on the subject and then who came after and how all of them have definite similarities we can draw on. (all 5 are also medical professionals).

For any mother that cares to research for herself, this site will also show you dozens of doctors and pediatricians support and comments for the Babywise methods that over 6 million parents love with their children over the last 24 years.

If you are interested in what the American Academy of Pediatrics thinks on this subject (they have over 50,000 more Pediatricians):

The AAP states that newborns "be nursed whenever they show signs of hunger..... approximately 8 to 12 times every 24 hours."

If you look at page 70 of On Becoming Babywise Pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D and co-author Gary Ezzo state, "with these recommended times you will average between 8 - 10 feedings a day."

Looks pretty safe to me as the AAP recommends the same exact amount of feedings for your baby and Pediatrician Bucknam/Ezzo recommend the same authority: the mom should make the call as to exactly when her baby is hungry.

When it comes to the concept of babies crying, the American Academy of Pediatrics (quoted in On Becoming Babywise on page 146 says, "Many babies cannot fall asleep more without crying and will go to sleep more quickly if left to cry for a while. The crying should not last long if the child is truly tired." The AAP goes on to say, "Sometimes you think your baby is waking up when she's actually going through a phase of very light slumber. She could be squirming, startling, fussing, or even crying-- and still be asleep. Or she may be awake but not on the verge of drifting off again if left alone. Do not make the mistake of trying to comfort her during these moments; you'll only awaken her further and delay her going back to sleep. Instead, if you let her fuss and even cry for a few minutes, she'll learn to get herself to sleep without relying on you." The AAP goes on to say, "same babies actually need to let off energy by crying in order to settle into sleep or rouse themselves out of it. As much as fifteen minutes of fussing will not do your child any harm. Just be sure she's not crying out of hunger or pain, or because her diaper is wet."

This is precisely the entire point of Babywise and from what I read, the whoe them of the book. I cannot fathom where all the rumors of "no medical backing" and "dangerous" come from as Pediatricians all over the country back what 23 year Pediatrician and author Robert Bucknam, M.D. and his co-author Gary Ezzo have written.

Moms-- enjoy this book, use your common sense..... and happy sleeping!!

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M.J.

answers from Honolulu on

Hafa adai J.,
Does your son go to day care? Have you tried playing classical music to soothe him? Bathing him in lavender baby wash or applying baby lotion with lavender I had a similar situation with my son waking up for milk and was strongly advised to stop giving him milk by his pediatrician. It was only teaching him bad habits. It was difficult cutting him off, only offering him water and suffered for a whole week but he gave in. WE teach and train our children, not the other way around. Be firm and stick to the discipline you want to instill with your son.

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