Car accident...need Advice :(

it doesn't matter if he has money/insurance or not, it doesn't negate YOUR responsibility in the situation. stop stressing over something you can't control, i doubt your insurance is going to triple over a little fender bender. take a deep breath and see what happens.

edited to add: i see what you're saying, and i'm a nice person, i live in a nice house and we have a comfortable income, but if you and i were involved in an accident involving your fault, i would expect for you/your insurance to put me/my property back into the condition we were in before the accident - and that does not make me a selfish/rude person. it's just part of the responsibility of driving. trust me, those of us with "money" already pay more than our fair share in other ways, i'm not going to accept financial responsibility for something that isn't my fault. that said, i also wouldn't be rude to you, and we wouldn't even get to the money/insurance until i saw to it that you/your passengers were okay and calm from the shock of the accident.

You realize this isn't "what you get for it" right? I mean, you did something WRONG, and are at fault. You aren't being punished for being nice in the past. You are simply being asked to take responsibility for your actions. That is a HUGE difference. All you did in the past was negate someone's responsibility. Yes, that was "nice." However, he is not being mean....by not doing the same thing you did. Just because, YOU wouldn't ask, does not mean you are being screwed because HE did. I wouldn't want to pay for damage someone else caused, that's what insurance is for. There is absolutely nothing not nice about his expectations of your insurance fixing YOUR damage. He probably IS a good person, who is a good person in a multitude of other ways. Not asking that person to fix your car doesn't make you a good person. Perhaps, you did them a favor, but it doesn't make you good. Not getting the same favor does not mean the universe hates you and does not mean you're getting screwed over.

I am very nice, but when damage incurs upon my property, I do not eat that cost. And that doesn't make me any less nice. You need to change your view on the world. People are not going to hand you the same favors, you hand others. If you keep thinking this way, you will feel burned over everything. Kind of sounds like you already do...you didn't do the right thing, by letting the person who hit you slide. You made a questionable decision.

You NEED to call your insurance agent, and stop with the what ifs.

You can ask him to get an estimate for the repairs and let you know what it is, before contacting your insurance agent. If it isn't too much, you can pay it out of pocket. If it is a lot, you'll have to calculate to see if it is more cost effective to pay it, or to have your insurance handle it.

Out of curiosity, why do you mention that the guy obviously has money and insurance? Does that make a difference in the scenario?

ETA: I would always expect the responsible party to pay for damage that they caused to my car. It is far too serious and costly to just suck it up--that's why we're all required to carry auto insurance anyways. It was very nice of you to not ask for it in the past, but that is very out of the ordinary. You shouldn't feel badly about it if, in the future, you are the innocent bystander and have the guilty party's insurance cover it. Sometimes doing the right thing includes holding other people accountable for their actions. Glad to know you are just venting about the imbalance between your generosity and what you are experiencing right now.

Your car accidents are completely unrelated. You chose to "let it go" , the guy you hit, is choosing for you to repair the damage. I was rear ended at low speed twice in my last vehicle. I let it go both times. The damage was minimal, no one was hurt. It was an older car. I just bought a newer car. In this vehicle, I'd want the bumper repaired. Different situations get different reactions. You can't expect the world to react the way you would react. You were negligent, you are responsible.

It was an accident. No one was hurt. Fortunately, it sounds like your car was unscathed. You have a lot to be grateful about. This scenario could have ended up much, much worse.

You have two options. Call the insurance and handle the claim that way or offer to avoid the insurance route and pay for it out of pocket. The second choice is risky. He can have his car repaired where he wants, he doesn't necessarily have to get several quotes. You saw a cracked bumper, a body shop may see frame damage.

If it were me, I'd simply call the insurance company and let them work it out. It's possible your insurance may go up...and it may not. You cross that bridge when you come to it. If it goes up, it may be time to look for another carrier. Insurance companies, like most other companies, will work with you and take payments, I am sure. You are putting the cart before the horse and getting worked up before you know what you are worked up over.

This whole incident is a business transaction, it is not a personal attack. That guy just wants his car fixed, he isn't "out to get you".

Uh...when an accident is your fault, you pay.
It's a pretty clear case, from what you've described.
You can either call your agent or not. Because his insurance will either way.
If you can't afford your deductible, you really shouldn't be driving.
Sorry, but that's just the way insurance works.
You hit him so it's clearly your (insurance ) responsibility.
Deductible comes into play when YOU are using your insurance to get your car fixed.
You might have first accident forgiveness. If not, your rates will likely go up.
You need to get an emergency fund saved up to cover these unplanned expenses.

ETA: I had a "little bumper damage" done to my car in the 90's...the bill? $800!!! (And it was a Pontiac.)

Apparently you posted a question and when you settled the matter you erased the question and added what happened. So, those of us who didn't see the question are left wondering what is going on. It's like reading a book and having the ending not fit with the rest of the story.

That's why we have the SWH. Everyone, please add to the SWH without changing the original question.

It sounds like part of your concern is with your rates going up. If this was your first accident they most likely will NOT. I've had several different insurance companies over the years and they've all had a general policy to raise rates only after the third accident.

Your rate will go up if you've changed from having a deductible to no deductible. Did you figure how much the increased rate will total in a year and compared that to the likelihood of having an at fault accident and how much it would cost to pay the deductible? I've found, with many many years of accidents that I'm still ahead money wise having a deductible. If you're a careful driver, not prone to accidents, those you have will more often than not be caused by the other driver, in which case you pay no deductible.

Later: Thank you for your feedback to my post. May I suggest that when you erase the question you're agreeing that you shouldn't have felt the way you felt. I understand the pain caused by those who are insensitive. At the same time, my philosophy is to stand by what I think is right. You do have the right to feel the way you feel and I stand behind you in expressing that belief.

After reading some of the responses I'd like to suggest that perhaps you've erased the question because you did learn some things about the way you were thinking and now do feel ashamed of the way you thought. That's OK. No need to feel shame. Each of us learns from getting feedback from others. It's good to take a different look at what we've experience.

I suggest that you could've said, in your SWH, that you accept the way you feel and now you understand a different way of looking at the situation. That is all that most posters expected; that you could learn from this experience so that you can better affect what you do and the way you feel in the future.

I reread your comment about deductible and now think you're saying you don't have to pay the deductible and not that you're changing to a no deductible policy. Very good!

I'm glad this is working out better for you than you expected. These experiences are painful and we learn from them too. You are a wiser person as the result of this accident.

BTW: I always enjoy your questions an comments. I see you as a caring and thoughtful person.

Call your insurance agent. If they don't walk you through this and tell you the best options, it is time to find a different agent.

I love all the jabs you take at this guy, putting down his vehicle's quality and assuming he has money because he drives a nice car you hit. Lol

Regarding your SWH, it sounds to me that instead of pouting about always doing the right thing, you could start to make better choices. If someone hits you and it is clearly their fault, as you indicated happened to you previously, they should pay for it. You weren't "doing the right thing" by not making them pay, you were making a poor choice. Now that this guy wants his damage paid for, you blame him for not being "as nice as you". That makes no sense.

Call your agent, they will help you.

I am pretty taken aback by your attitude. Chalk it up to experience and be more careful in the future.

Edit* The attitude I'm talking about is the "I'm a good person and this is what I get" attitude. I HAVE been in your situation. I backed into a car at the library. It was a tiny bump and my car was more damaged than his, but I did what was right according to the law and now I am even MORE careful than my previously very cautious self. You are not exempt from what the rest of us have to deal with. I am sorry that your finacial situation is so dire and I hope it gets resolved without too much of a burden for your family.

Sorry Sweetie. I'm glad you're (physically) okay and that no one was hurt. It will end up working out in the long run, but shoot, this sure isn't what you needed to deal with right now.

Good luck.

Report it to the insurance. My SD was just in an accident and it was her first one so it is forgiven. There may be a deductible but please pay it and accept responsibility for it. Even a minor accident can be a problem. My scratched bumper was $600 to replace when someone rear ended me on the highway. I also replaced my child's car seat. It doesn't matter how much money he looks to have - you hit his car. You report it or he will. You tell the agent the truth (but don't say "it was my fault if you are not certain") and they'll determine who was at fault. This is what you have insurance for. SD's minor accident required repairs to the other vehicle, our vehicle (including body work) and a lengthy tow. It cost us $250 and we're moving on. Accidents happen. Just don't compound it by not speaking to the insurance company.

ETA:

My mom was once rear-ended and let it go and found out it was more damage than she thought but she had let it go and was stuck. So what I learned from that is never just let it go. Even minor. Did I have a beef with the girl who hit me? No. I was looking out for myself b/c I had a bad experience to draw from. I've also worked with a neighbor to repair his car without reporting it - but he took it to the mechanic to make sure that's all it was. You can feel badly about it, but this guy is not required to pay back your generosity. Try not to make it personal.

You HAVE to call your insurance company. Period.

Your insurance rates will not necessarily go up very much, if it was only a bumper. The increase could be as little as twenty bucks a month.

Did you get his insurance info? In a car accident, you are both supposed to exchange insurance info., no matter who's at fault.

There will NOT be a deductible on your part. Deductibles are for when you are getting YOUR car fixed, and there is nothing that needs to be fixed on your car. Your insurance company will pay the full amount to fix his car, and then they will decide to raise your rates or not, depending on your record.

Don't worry, it will be okay. It's only a bumper.

It's ok for you to feel badly about this, but you can't expect him to just let it go. This is why you have insurance. Suck it up and call your agency to report the accident and give them your side of the story. Why should he just kindly "turn the cheek" just because you made a careless mistake? Yes, sometimes it's nice to do generous and kind things for people, but when you have insurance to cover accidents such as this, you can't expect everyone to just go on their merry way and "be nice". Accidents happen. Accept it and move on. Most likely if you have such a great driving record, the insurance company might not bat an eye at raising your premiums. Call now and find out.

You call your insurance company and have them deal with it. That's just that.
You backed out, which means you have to pay. Period.
The bumper on the Mercedes will have to be replaced, they are expensive, it will run several hundred $$$.
That's what insurance is about. Whether it will go up or not depends on your insurance, some companies offer policies with accident forgiveness if you have been accident free for so many years (mine did when I had a minor accident a few years back).
You can always offer to pay the guy cash for his repair, but I REALLY would advise against that.
Good luck.

Chances are your insurance will not go up for one accident. Cracked bumper no big deal maybe $1000 to fix it. It will be if he claims injuries that it gets hairy. You can also offer to pay to fix his car out of pocket after you find out a cost to fix his car. Either way I would call your insurance agent and give them a heads up on what happened. This is nothing to freak out about. Hopefully the man was not an a$$ to you. Accidents happen and when it is truly an accident no one should get upset it is just a car. Best of luck!

L.:

I had to go take care of something - your post changed!!! I didn't get to read all of it!!

Please tell me you and the kids are okay!!?!

You have my prayers!!

Well as far as your insurance goes, my husband had a DUI and his never went up so I doubt yours will. And the accident is your fault, how do you know this old man has money? Just because he drives a nice car? My brother just bought a 60,000$ car but guess what? He's far from rich! He makes enough to get by. He saved up for a couple years for a down payment. So you assuming he has money is silly. Report the accident, he prepaired to pay whatever the damages are because it's your responsibility.

Because you changed your question I am not sure what you needed but just wanted to give you some info based on what I have available. My kids, 7 and 5, and I were in an accident last Wednesday. A slat bed truck lost a gate and the gate cartwheeled down the road straight at us. I swerved to avoid it and slammed on my breaks but we did hit the gate. The initial estimate on my car is $4500. The police officer very kindly explained that because the gate hit the ground before it hit me it would be ruled my fault (based on how the law is written in CA). I spoke with my wonderful insurance angel, er agent, and he has been taking care of everything. When I spoke with claims they determined that it is a no fault accident and that I would not be charged a deductible. Because it is no fault it DOES NOT go on my insurance record and my rate WILL NOT change. I do have an excellent driving record though so that might help as well. My kids are absolutely fine. I do have a sore back that I have sought medical attention with and am doing much better and insurance is completely taking care of it. Good luck to you.

Call your agent, tell them what happened.

This is real world stuff....and it's not likely that your insurance will skyrocket, considering that you have a flawless record. When I got my first speeding ticket (and last) in 2007, my insurance didn't go up at all.

First of all, you could ask him if he'd be willing to just let you pay cash to fix it so that you don't have to report it to your insurance company.
If he is agreeable, ask him to find out how much it will cost to repair. If it's less than your deductible, then pay him. And call it done.
If it's more than your deductible, then you can decide if you still want to pay it, or if you want to let the insurance handle it after all. Because, you might be surprised how much that bumper costs.
Either way, regardless of whether he has money or not, it's your responsibility to pay for it.

I won't judge you, I would just suggest to be careful whatever option you decide to pursue. Even if you have him ask for an estimate prior to paying up, chances are you don't know if the estimate is overinflated because he's asking them to fix up other prior dents or scratches (some people are scumbags and WILL do this), or if he chose some over-the-top dealership body work shop that is charging $1,000 for something that may cost $450 elsewhere. Unless you know how to read detailed invoices and/or understand what labor is detailed and know what an average (reasonable) per hour labor cost can be, it may be hard to tell if you're getting a fair deal in terms of reimbursing him for damages.

On the other hand, if you don't report the accident until later, it may cause some conflict if he does end up reporting it to his insurance on the same day or if your insurance company calls him and gets some sort of statement from him and the dates don't match the date you call in the accident. I have always gone through insurance the same day of the accident (and I haven't had very many) so I don't know what would happen in this case. I'm sorry you're going through this, accidents can definitely be very costly, and an expense you weren't planning for.