Changing to Catholic

Updated on February 25, 2012
C.M. asks from Audubon, IA
21 answers

I am not catholic. Never have been but bf is. If we where ever to get married there is no doubt I would have to change to the catholic faith. I have started going to church with bf but I need help I do not understand a lot of the faith can you mama's help. I am Lutheran so I do understand the bible. Can you ladies give me some advice on the faith and how to change?

I am doing this because I want to. I want to be a one faith family and I did not decide this until going to church with him several times. I know the faiths are similar which is why it is not against what I would want to become Catholic. I do not however know the Hail Mary or anything like that. I really wish I did. It would make things so much easier. I did change the name of the post to better explain my wants.

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So What Happened?

Ok well some people took this wrong. I do not want to "change" religions for the reason of my boyfriend, it just fits. As a diehard Lutheran family I know my own family will be against it. This is MY choice. I feel more at peace with this church and more in tuned to what they are saying. I listen to the sermons and actually understand them. What I don't understand is the prayers they do because well.. I am not yet Catholic. I was wanting more insite to the prayers and how to change.

I do admire all of you for the advice and thank you so much for giving it to me. If you have further information for me please pm me.

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

The Bible is the Bible. Whether it's King James or another version.

If you have been going to church with your boyfriend - you would see that there aren't that many differences - Catholicism - the seven Sacraments
in the Roman Catholic Church;
Baptism
Reconciliation
Communion
Confirmation
Marriage
Holy Orders
Sacrament of the Sick

The Lutheran Church is also sacramental and observes Baptism and Holy Communion as sacraments. Confession/Absolution (or Reconciliation) is sometimes referred to as the "third sacrament" in the Lutheran Church.

If you have questions regarding the Catholic church? The BEST place to go is the Priest of the church your boy friend attends and get your questions asked.

Faith is a VERY personal journey. I don't know you, your beliefs, values, morals or anything like that. So I can't tell you something. I can tell you the basics - as to the "deeper" things? You really need to go to the Priest and attend their Bible classes to learn their way.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

You do not have to become Catholic to get married in the Catholic Church. This is an incorrect statement that some of the other posters made. I can say this with certainty, as both my parents and my maternal grandparents were married in the Catholic Church, and my father is not a Catholic and my grandfather never was, either. My best friend also married a Catholic in the Catholic Church, and she is definitely not a Catholic. As long as one member of the pair is Catholic, and you complete the premarital sessions with the Church (which will require you to agree to raise your children as Catholics), you can be married in the Church without converting.

If you choose to convert, however, you should speak to your priest about Catechism classes. They begin every Autumn, and should be offered in your church or at least at a church in your town. The Catholic Bible is a different translation than the Bible the Lutheran's use, but the differences are not really that major. The real differences come from theology and structure. Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Why do you think you have to follow the Catholic faith if you were to marry your boyfriend? The Catholic church certainly does not say that. If it's your boyfriend or his family putting pressure on you, you may want to think a lot about that. We are each entitled to our own beliefs, even in marriage.

If you wanted to become Catholic based on your own desire to do so - not pressure from others - you would enroll in an RCIA program at your local church. If you are interested in learning more about the faith, have your boyfriend go with you to the pastor of his parish and ask about RCIA. You should be able to get some information or perhaps attend some meetings to learn more about the faith and decide if it speaks to you and if becoming Catholic is something you want to pursue. But please consider your decision carefully - the Church already has enough people who are Catholic in name only (because they were baptized but never really chose the faith for themselves) - someone who goes through the rigors of RCIA should do it because he or she really wants to, not to please a future spouse or in-laws.

Best of luck to you on this journey, wherever it leads you. And for the record, I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish. I would never want him to convert because he does not believe in the basic tenets of the Catholic faith. Our children are Catholic.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am assuming you mean if you got married you would be a practicing Catholic. I am Catholic and I don't always conform. :)

When I was a girl scout we rotated faiths on girl scout Sunday so I went to Lutheran and Baptist services. What impressed me was they use the same scriptures. My mom would make me go to Saturday mass because I would go to hell if I didn't. :p Talk about torture to a kid with ADD, I digress... Everything was very much alike so if you are Lutheran you are pretty much already there.

If you decide to be married Catholic they will require you to make your sacraments. Confession, communion and confirmation, at that point you will know all you need to know so I won't bore you with the details.

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L.K.

answers from Denver on

First of all, I am speaking as a life long Catholic, turned Lutheran in my early 40s. I was a Catholic during the initial break of the child molestation cover ups. After being lied to by our own church and diacese, we felt we could not morally and financially support a church that protected pedofiles. Being life long Catholics this was not an easy decision to make. It forced our family to attend many different denominations and examine what the Bible said versus what the "Church" said. It also made me challenge everything I had been taught in the Catholic Church. Many of their customs were set up to control the congregations and this is very difficult for people within the church to accept. An example is the old custom of paying indulgences for the dead. Also how lent is practiced, pergatory, honoring and praying to saints. Some things have been updated and I am not saying the Catholic faith is bad, I am saying you must truly examine what you believe and why. Do you want a family raised in a faith that you don't have complete belief in for convenience? You can read more of my story on my website. www.hearttoart.net

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I'm sure you can google the Hail Mary prayer to get the words. it's a short one.

When my brother got married his wife was not Catholic. They had the wedding in the church, but there was no Mass with the ceremony. Having Mass during the wedding is considered to the "fully Catholic" wedding ceremony. The Catholic attendees will notice, while the Lutheran attendees may not.

I remember in fifth grade learning al of the parts of the Mass, and what it means and what it represents, and why it is included. I don't know if that is in a book to read, but I'd want to read it if I converted to the religion.

I have also found that some parishes are happier than others. Don't get stuck in one that is sad. See if your bf is willing to try out a few other parishes just for comparison, especially if you plan to move. Try to find a vibrant one with a lot of families with young kids. (I am so glad to see that another Mama has given you this advice).

I guess I'm going to be the one to put out this idea--there are many people who were born and raised Catholics who do not practice the faith (such as myself). I don't know how you would find these folks, but if you could talk to them about the reasons why that is true, that could be informative for you. Myself, I like knowing what I'm getting into before I do it. If you are someone who does not like being told what to do or what choices to make, you may want to rethink this.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I think what you need to do is to go with your boyfriend to his priest, and talk to him. Theologically speaking, there are actually some big differences between Catholicism and Lutheranism. Whether you are able to learn what you need to know from that priest, or whether you are referred to some sort of group instruction, write down all the questions you have (and usually, after you start to learn anything, you have more questions, not fewer, for a period of time!), and don't be bashful about getting answers to every single one of them.

As far as learning prayers (such as the Hail M.), your boyfriend should be able to help you. If he won't, or doesn't know such prayers, ask him why. I'm not Catholic, but any family is no less divided when one person is devout and the other doesn't much care than it is when the couple have different religions .

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

I cannot help with understanding the Catholic faith however I will say that you do not have to conform as long as he is a Catholic - I know many family members who were married in the Catholic church and only one of them is catholic.......maybe that will help!!!

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

Ask the priest. He should be only too happy to help you.

You would only have to become Catholic if you wanted to be married in the Catholic church. I have a friend who did this because his wife wanted her priest to marry them. He wouldn't marry them if they were not both of the Catholic faith.

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Check out the book, Why do Catholics do that? It will answer a lot of your questions. If you're interested in converting to catholocism, ask the church you're attending with your bf about the RCIA program. He can even go through the classes with you as your sponsor if he's an active member of the church. Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

You don't just "change" religions. You have to take a class to learn about Catholicism. I grew up Catholic and am still practicing my faith. My father is a devout Catholic, but my mother grew up in the Reformed Church. We attended Mass as a family. My mom converted recently (very personal reasons), but will be the first to say that Catholicism is quite different than Protestant sects.

Being Catholic isn't about knowing a series of prayers. It is a beautiful religion. Learn about it. Read about it. Join the women's organization. Don't convert unless YOU want to and only if after learning about the faith you find that you can accept the basis for the prayers.

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

First off Catholics don't read the Bible ;-) (I'd say just kidding but I'm really not.)

You might want to seek out the RCIA program in your bf's church if you truly wish to convert. They will teach you everything and enable you to make your sacraments. That is the best way to learn about the Catholic faith.

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best! I would recommend above all making sure you like the parish you are in--there are many types of Catholic parishes and I think feeling comfortable with the priest and the congregation is so important.

Half my family is Lutheran, and half is Catholic--my mom did NOT become Catholic when she married my dad, nor were they married in the church. I have always been most comfortable in the Catholic faith but sent my daughter to a Lutheran preschool because the program was outstanding.

I really think the Catholic faith is what you make of it; I purposely ignore some of the teachings (sorry if I offend anyone) because I don't think the Vatican has caught up with the times, so to speak. However, I love the tradition of charity in the Catholic faith, and I do like to teach my daughter about the saints and their lives...I also love to see monks like the Franciscans doing such great work.

Sorry so long and I hope that you feel welcomed in the church. BTW the Hail Mary and other prayers you can find online, and they will teach you a lot in RCIA. Surround yourself with good people in the parish and have a good time!

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am a life long Lutheran, but just completed a Comparative Religion study as part of my role as a Confirmation mentor. We studied a variety of religions and denominations and attended a few other services. The Lutheran church was founded as a break from Catholicism because of some distinct theological disagreements. From my comparative religion study I was somewhat surprised by some major theological differences between Lutheran and Catholic because the services are in many ways similar and the two do seem to have a lot in common. However, there are major differences. If you are considering conversion I would recommend taking a class and talking to local priests and pastors to understand what you are contemplating and to learn what is required to convert. Good luck on your journey.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's all different flavors of Christianity!

Here are some good comparisons between the 6 most popular versions (Catholic and Lutheran included):

http://www.religionfacts.com/christianity/denominations/c...

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Beginning next fall, there will be RCIA instruction offered at a Catholic church in your area. This time next year, if you choose, you could be joining the church. I wish you luck on your journey-you are in for something greater than you can even imagine! God's blessings!

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A.N.

answers from Madison on

I'm the opposite - I was raised Catholic and became Lutheran after I was married. There are many similarities between Catholic mass and Lutheran worship services, but the practices of the faiths are extremely different. I do know that you will be required to do a lot of work to convert, and to begin that process, you will need to speak with the priest.

I sincerely pray that you are doing this for yourself and that it hasn't derived from pressure from your boyfriend or his family - you need to do this for yourself, on your own terms, if it's what you truly want. At the very least, it will be a wonderful journey of faith for you, and I hope that your boyfriend will be very supportive, maybe even go through it as your sponsor. God bless you!

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B.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi momonamission!
I did the same thing. For the family unit.
If you do change, you can go to classes. That will aide in understanding the faith.
I was Lutheran also. I let them know there are differences I would not do and at that time, they were ok with my choices.
If you want a quick listen- eaglebrookchurch.com just did a series on what the differences in faith groups are. They did protestant vs catholic in Jan. It's fairly accurate and sums up the majors.
You can blend faiths and much of it is similar. Depending on if you were missouri synod lutheran or elca or other divisions, you might be surprised in the similarities/differences.
Catholic churches also vary in how they practice- latin traditional and more.
The important thing is to find where you both feel comfortable. And understand that you might have differences that can be blended.
I have a friend who's dad was a pastor and mom atheist and it worked to raise an awesome family of Christian like people.
Blessings on your journey.
B.

About me: 51yo perfusionist and wellness coach, mom with 10 yo twin fraternal girls.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

There are a lot of good resources out there to learn more. Just looking up catholic book websites will bring up a lot of good options. One place to start is http://www.catholic.com/ and check out their forums... a great place to post questions.

And, you'll have to look into doing the RCIA classes, of course.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You actually wouldn't "have" to change your own denomination. Would the Catholic Church prefer it? Yes. But it's not required. Lutheran is like Catholic-Lite anyway. :-) Both denominations are still Christians and the Catholic Church does recognize this. I married in the Catholic Church and my best friend, Lutheran, stood in as a Christian Witness which was the alternative for Godparent since she is a different denomination.

If you wish to "convert" to Catholicism from Lutheranism, welcome to the faith. What you should look into is taking RCIA classes. They can be taken by anyone at all. Current Catholics, people looking to learn more about the faith, people looking to convert, atheists, people looking to round out their religious education, anyone.

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R.R.

answers from Madison on

Hi. You've gotten a lot of information - some accurate and some not as well as a lot of opinions. As a cradle catholic, involved in the RCIA program at my church I can tell you these facts about the path to converting to Catholicism:

1. RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) is required and runs from Sept to Pentecost (40 days after Easter) although official acceptance into the church occurs on the Easter vigil. RCIA programs continue during the liturgical season of Easter (40 days).

2. Catholics do have a special relationship with Mary, the mother of God. We revere and honor her in many special ways that are unique.

3. We have several forms of prayer and in essence are a form of meditation (such as reciting the rosary - another catholic thing :-)):
Blessing and Adoration (praising God)
Prayer of Petition (asking for what we need, including forgiveness)
Prayer of Intercession (asking for what others need)
Prayer of Thanksgiving (for what God has given and done)

4. Transubstantiation: the conversation of water and wine into the body and blood of Christ.

5. Catholicism is a sacramental. We believe in the sacraments and they are essential to our spiritual life.

These are some highlights. Unless you are a fundamentalist in any religion, most people do not follow their religions 100%. We all deviate from religious teaches at some points. So, yes there are a lot of things on the books for Catholics as well as other religions but that doesn't mean that they are all heeded.

I have lots of resources including reading list of catholic stuff. Email/contact me if you would like more information.

IMHO, you should try to attend mass a few times and look into a RCIA class. The first several weeks (6-8) of the class are called the Inquiry period. There is no obligation from any participant to do anything except inquire about the faith. You can stop going at anytime if you discern that it isn't the correct path for you.

Good luck!

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