Child Only Cares About Video Games

Updated on March 27, 2013
A.S. asks from Glendora, CA
28 answers

I feel like the only thing that makes my 9 year old son truly excited is video games. Not that he is depressed or anything...he is a generally happy child but it always seems like he is just "getting through" the day until he can play his games. If he thinks he is going to get to play and I tell him that there won't be video games that day he is like devastated...He plays mostlyThe Sims or Minecraft on the iPad/Computer. We could have the most amazing activity packed day and the first thing out of his mouth when we come home is, "Can I play the iPad?" I have already cut video game time down to Fridays and Saturdays, with more leniency on school breaks where he gets to play a little more often than this. He would literally play all day long if I let him. He has tried many sports but has never really gotten "into" one specific one and is not very sporty in general. His other hobbies include building things (legos etc) and reading. Does anyone else have a child like this? My girls are a little younger (5 and 7) but they could care less about video games.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

AFTER READING SO MANY ANSWERS: Why can't you respond?

Take the games away and find new interests while you are STILL in control.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I have three boys and they were getting obsessed over ipad games. It became a problem and I took the ipad away. It is such a relief now that they are back to playing creative games, playing outside on their bikes and scooters, and doing a lot more drawing. They will be allowed access to the ipad again eventually, but I needed to break the habit.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My SS played a lot of video games, too, but we made it clear that family time was family time, all electronics OFF. Or if we were out and about, no, he was not going to be glued to his game boy. I think that you did the right thing to cut down on video time as they are addictive. When he is older, watch for him being too tuned into the internet and social media. I think that right now he is readjusting to the less screen time and will get used to less time with his games. You might also come up with a way for him to earn time.

I will also say that by the time SS was in HS, if he was keeping his grades up, he had much more free time to do whatever, including play games. But if he was procrastinating on HW, then the cords and controllers went away, rendering his system just a pretty box. He got the point loud and clear and DH rarely had to do that.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Cut it down to certain hours on Friday and Saturday. As Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will suppress our human interaction.
The world will have a generation of idiots,". We have arrived.

11 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Uh, that's the difference between boys and most girls. I guess you haven't been around boys these last 20 yrs. you have some good rules.
It's just very appealing to their competitive nature and various other reasons. He sounds smart and has other interests, so, I am calling this one, Normal.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

as long as you govern the amount of time spent doing this....you could be looking at the next computer genius!

Just saying...sports are not always good choices for some kids, especially if they're spatially-inclined as your son seems to be. Since he likes computer games such as The Sims & building things...it all ties together!

Sooo, how are his math skills? Does his grade reflect this interest? & kudos to you for having a Reading Son!

Next thought: when my sons were at that age & "obsessive" with gaming, I had One Rule....no electronics whatsoever until they spent some time playing outside. I didn't care whether it was a bike ride, a walk, or dog play....they had to play actively outside before gaming. This rule held true for mornings, after lunch, after school, before dinner.... whenever they wanted to turn on the game. :)

3 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that like many things in life, they are addicting. I have all ready told my husband I don't want my child playing video games at all. Only because I've seen my nephew go into a virtual trance and play for hours on end, not so much as looking up or hearing anything that gets said. Its hypnotic. In fact I don't think there is much difference between T.V watching, video games, and hypnosis. It leaves your mind susceptible and suggestible. I think you've done well to limit it to certain days. I think his reaction to them should demonstrate that he is addicted. Keep tight limits on it. If it were me, they'd be gone for his own good. But then, I have not yet been the mother of a 9-year-old boy, so I say that with all the idealism that goes along with not yet having crossed that bridge.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

As long as he has other hobbies and friends and he's doing his chores and homework--what's the difference? Kids get obsessed with many things, Legoes, reading, singing, etc. It's just that video games have a "stigma" attached to them.

My daughter LOVES playing video games and watching TV. She used to ask the same thing, can she play iPod or Sims or Minecraft or watch TV.

I have found that if I discourage the TV and video games she will find other things to do like imaginative play or creating things. As long as I know she still has these skills I'm not concerned about her video game and TV time so long as it's not excessive.

I have noticed that when her TV and video game time gets excessive she becomes withdrawn, less creative, less social and she'll claim she's "bored" much more easily. All I do is discourage the gaming/TV for a while and encourage her to do other things.

I think you're fine with cutting his time down to Fridays and Saturdays. When he gets older he may create video games! By then he'll have more social skills and other skills (he's very young and impressionable now so it's good that you're encouraging him and cutting the time down now). It's good for him to explore Legoes and reading as well. It's fine if he's not sporty, some kids just aren't.

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

A warning for you....please set up some serious restrictions for your son! Our nephew will be 21 next month. He is a video game addict and has been for at least 12 years. He is the reason my kids don't play video games (we have some handheld devices, but no computer games or boxes). He doesn't drive, didn't finish high school (although he is in some kind of college program which will supposedly earn him a HS diploma...), has never had a girlfriend, and never had a job. Yes, it is clearly his parents allowing him to do all this. But, video games are all he cares about. He says that one day he wants to design them, but with no schooling or social network, not sure how he's going to do it!

Good luck with your son! Hoping you can find something for him! Maybe martial arts?

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

This is our son's main interest, too. He loves Minecraft! He has ADHD, so video games are his hyperfocus activity. We do set limits on his time, but he just waits and waits until he can go on again. Like your son, he has no interest in sports. Our son's friends are also into video games, so this is what they love talking about.

Honestly, I remember parents in the 1980s complaining about boys and their obsession with video games. It's nothing new.

I think as long as you're setting limits, all is fine. Not everyone is an outdoor or sporty person.

2 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Then video games are his currency, be glad you know. You have a built-in, get-his-attention consequence, he loses game time.

If you at some point allow him to play games during the week make sure he tackles homework before gaming. On weekends require chores be done before gaming, require he reads the same length of time as he plays video games, encourage outdoor play, keep it all balanced. Most kids I know like or love video games, my almost 4 year old does, but he doesn't get to play them often.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

My son would play day in and day out if I let him. He is only allowed on weekends. He plays lot's of basketball in the driveway, hockey 3 times a week and hangs with his friends. He used to play all the time until I had enough.
My older son did not play sports. He loved the computer. So what I did I bought him programs such as Photoshop, graffic design programs. Along with educational and fun programs. He is now a wonderful photographer and believe me his early fun training has put him far beyond most in his field. I would only let him play the games on the weekends. He also loved the drama club, debate team. I always believed you still have to be part of something. If not sports then something else.
Balance is the key and it sounds like your son has that.

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

My 9 year old daughter would play a video game and watch tv all the time if allowed. She is forced to do other things. I make her play with the toys she's asked for, I don't have to make her read, but she does have to be made to go outside and play. We also make video game and tv exceptions for when school is out but we also don't allow electronics to consume life.

We've actually got things down to a pretty decent routine and if/when there is any complaining about NOT getting to do something then she knows that privilege is lost. She's pretty good about not complaining and has gotten better in recent months because while she doesn't get to play constantly she would like to be allowed to play when she asks.

Try to give your son something else to focus on and perhaps try playing games(board and video)with him so that video games are no longer just a solo activity.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, this kind of gaming obsession is common with boys. As long as he does well in school, and gets exercise and has at least one other interest, don't worry about it too much.

You can set time limits, but understand that it will be a battle. Mainly I'm letting you know that many, many boys are like this, and I'm not entirely sure that it's terrible. The next generation will have a better handle on how harmful gaming is, if at all. For us it's all new, and we don't really know how much is appropriate.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I can only speak by proxy-- my little guy (almost 6)isn't into video games yet. We've introduced them via pbskids, but he'd far rather play with Legos

My sister, on the other hand, has three boys (7, 9, 11) and is challenged by their proclivity toward computer/video game use. She is pretty savvy-- she regularly does 'media free' weeks and even months, esp. when she can see that the games are affecting their behavior or becoming an issue. She's done a lot of reading on the physiological affects of video games, and even with games rated E, she does see a change in their behavior and how the boys treat each other.

In summer, she insists that they play outside in the morning. I'll be putting my son's Legos away until 1pm this summer for the same reason-- get out while the getting's good. IMO, it's an easy way to be entertained/engaged, but we don't let it take over the more healthy parts of our lives- exercise, playing outdoors, biking and enjoying our friends, etc.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My 6 yo son is the same way. Loves video games and even the educational ones. It doesn't matter to him! I have no problem with him playing video games as long as his chores and homework are done. He will go outside and jump on the trampoline from time to time, or do role playing with this Angry Bird figurines. He's a bright and very intelligent kid, does well in school, and is ahead of his peers academically.
My son's not a sporty one either. But that's ok too. Not everyone is into playing sports, and not everyone is the outdoorsy type. He also loves drawing, esp maps and road systems, and wants to be a civil engineer (all coming from him- not me).
You just never know, your son could end up being a highly successful gaming engineer. More and more universities are building these degree programs. They are highly competitive programs for the smartest, most creative, and brightest people. He could be one of them one day! ;)

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My almost 9 year old son is just like this too. We limit his time playing video games but he is constantly begging for more time. It's all he thinks about. When playing outside with his friends they all pretend they are in a video game (like Minecraft). We make him do a sport and piano lessons. He was on ski team through the winter. This spring he will start soccer. The good thing about his obsession is he cannot play any video games till his homework is done, his piano is practiced, etc. So, it can be a motivator which is helpful. The bad thing is I worry...why does he have to be so obsessed all the time. It's disturbing! But looking at his friends it seems to be pretty normal with all the boys this age. None of his girl friends have a video game obsession though. So, I believe it is mostly a boy thing.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like my son, Legos, reading and video games, his three favorite things!
He did play some tennis during the summer, and tried a few other things, including soccer and baseball, but he never really enjoyed a sport until high school, when he started running track and cross country. That's also when he got into music.
Honestly, if he's a happy, smart, well adjusted kid with at least a few friends then don't worry about it. It's perfectly normal. My husband is a gamer and is educated and VERY successful (and physically fit) and my son is in his second year of college now and doing extremely well (good grades, girlfriend, hikes and still loves his games as well as reading, music and photography.) Let him be who he is!

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D.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Sounds like a typical kid in 2013. Kids nower days really enjoy playing video games, texting, computers, ipod/ipad, etc. Which is fine, parents just have to put some kind of restrictions on it. And sounds like youre doing that by only allowing him to play on the weekends. This is not abnormal and there is nothing at all to worry about.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My 8 year old son is that way...as it is right now he can only play on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And he has to earn the time with good behavior and other things (like for every two minutes he spends playing outside he gets one video game minute). I use poker chips to track the time.

I had to cut it out during the week because he would rush through any activity to be able to play...his home work was a mess, school work sloppy and lazy, going to martial arts a fit throwing tantrum over leaving the video game.

I was ready to get rid of the xbox all together...it still crosses my mind from time to time...because it literally drives him....Minecraft, argh, Minecraft...but I am trying to use it to motivate him.

The rest of the week he will play legos and read...his three favorite things, video games, legos and reading. Oh and drawing...lots and lots of drawing.

You are not alone!!

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V.V.

answers from Louisville on

I loved video games as a child and absolutely *hated* being forced outside to play. To this day, I look forward to rainy,overcast days so no one comments on the beautiful weather and/or suggests outdoor activities.

So it stands to reason that my kiddo LOVES outdoor play and shuns all technology.

People like what they like ... if he really likes video games, no amount of forcing him to do other things or limiting his time playing will change that. If anything, I'd think the constant limits and denial of the games would only *increase* his interest in and desire for video games.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids are the same way. We have found that when we do take the games away and the tv. that they tend to think and enjoy more. My son enjoys the Hunger Games and Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, but will tend to only read those before bed.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

oh my gosh i think i have your son's twin at our house but mine is 11 is a few months. does your son have any friends to play with? mine likes to ride his bike and play football. and now that the weather is warming up he then will be outside more. it's hard during the winter here and having snow on the ground and the bitter cold. but i try to get him outside more now that it's getting warmer!!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

This is the world now. It is a pleasure to see that he also likes to read and building things, but actually now so many classes are on computers (Social studies book online for middle schoolers!) that it is not really unusual. And you say he is happy, so he just isn't a sports guy. Maybe one day he will become very involved in activities that are after school. In the meantime enjoy him!!

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

My 8 year old is obsessed with them. He is ADHD / ODD and it has become a serious problem. We set limits on it (computer & x-box time combined) but it became a hysterical screaming fit when it was time to get off. So, the x-box is gone for awhile. He can earn time but it doesn't come automatically. This is because he wanted to do NOTHING else. He didn't want to leave the house, play outside, play with legos, draw, etc. So on the advice of his counselor we have taken it away. I am not opposed to him playing as long as there is a balance and right now there isn't. We will see how it goes.

A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

A., My 9 year old is just like this. It is very frustrating because I want to allow him to do the things he enjoys (video games) but it borders in excessive. I worry so much about him not being balanced!
At least Minecraft is a pretty creative game. My husband has been showing us what others have made in Mincraft and it is truly amazing.
I will be following up to see what others say! Other than that, hey- maybe lets get these boys together for a playdate, since they are both 9 and into Minecraft and legos! lol.

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I have several that could be this way. That is exactly why I limit my kids. When I see any of them using any device in excess, I take it from them and limit it heavily.

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My son is really into Minecraft as well. Some of the things he makes are pretty amazing. Like Riley's son, he's very active in other things, and I consider him to be very well-rounded. I really wouldn't worry about it unless he does nothing else, and he's doing poorly in school.

Sign your son up for baseball. Kick him outside. And remind him of the limits....if he can only play on Friday and Saturday, there's no reason for him to ask on any other day.

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