Children and Chores

An allowance should not be connected to chores. Otherwise, you run the risk of a kid with a hand on her hips saying, "Yeah, I'll vacuum, but it'll cost ya."

Give an allowance so let them learn how to handle their own money.

Chores are something every person in a household must do if they want to live there, including husbands and extended family who are living there. At age 8 and 11, both should clean up their own messes. But they should also do at least one other "big chore" a week, such as cleaning the bathroom, mowing the yard, vacuuming a floor of the house, etc.

For a reward, say thanks. That's the amount of reward I hope to get when I do a chore!

Updated

An allowance should not be connected to chores. Otherwise, you run the risk of a kid with a hand on her hips saying, "Yeah, I'll vacuum, but it'll cost ya."

Give an allowance so let them learn how to handle their own money.

Chores are something every person in a household must do if they want to live there, including husbands and extended family who are living there. At age 8 and 11, both should clean up their own messes. But they should also do at least one other "big chore" a week, such as cleaning the bathroom, mowing the yard, vacuuming a floor of the house, etc.

For a reward, say thanks. That's the amount of reward I hope to get when I do a chore!

I have 3 kids ages 10, 8, and 4. They all have paid and unpaid chores. Unpaid chores for my 10 & 8 year old are clean the cat box, feed and water the cat, gather their laundry, helping with the washer and dryer make their beds and pick up after themselves in general. These are chores I expect them to do to help around the house. My 4 year old has the same chores minus cleaning the cat box. It's not perfectly done but it's the attempt that counts. Paid chores for my older two include, dishes, folding clothes, vaccuming, dusting, washing windows. My 10 year old also mowes the lawn with my supervision. My younger child does all the chores the older two do even though I have to redo them it's still the point that he thinks he's helping. We don't do punishment if they don't do them it just means they have no spending money. Also if they want to go swimming or to the movies and the paid chores aren't done they might not be able to go cause I have to do the chores so most the time that is motivation enough. I look at paid chores as I go to work and expect to be paid for my work. I think giving them money also helps them learn the value of money and how to budget.

I am married and I have a 14 year old and a 11 year old (both girls) and here is our routine.

In our family we have “responsibilities” we don’t have chores. As a family it is our “responsibility” to ensure our home is clean and safe. That means EVERYONE does everything. We prepare meals together, we do dishes together, we clean house together. DAILY we do a 10 minute tidy every day – we put on 3 - 4 really fun fast songs, we set the time and we each pick a space to “clean” – cupboards, walls, floors, sweeping, dusting, clean out the fridge – whatever – then we just do it – but only for 10 mins. It is fun, fast and every day we get 40 mins of house work in just 10 mins (I have a family of 4). No more struggling to keep the house clean.

On the 15th of the month the 14 year old receives $200 and the 10 year old gets $100. CASH
10% for FINANCIAL FREEDOM -every month they give me 10% of their income to invest.
10% GIVE -goes to pay me for their sponsored sister (through World Vision)
50% NECESSITIES -25% goes to rent, yes, they both pay rent and 25% is kept in cash for necessities – toothpaste, deodorant, clothing, stuff they “need” – I pay for their food (unless they are going out with a group of friends – that comes from them)
10% EDUCATION -books, school trips etc.
10% for EDUCATION -for example my older daughter was saving for a trip with her Teen Group – she saved $800!
10% PLAY -they can spend it on whatever they want – I can say NOTHING about it.

This teaches them responsibility for their actions and their own money. My 10 year old came home from “hanging at the mall” with her friend and her mom with a bag of new socks. I gave her a funny look and she said, “mom, they were in the clearance bin, they were only $5. 2 months ago when I bought this same pack it was $9! I am going to put them in my closet for school”

You can purchase a great eBook at http://www.YourFamilyRules.comthat will teach your entire family the New F-Words!

B.
Family Success Coach

In our house we do chores because we are all part of the family. I don't get paid for doing dishes and neither do they.
I have 4 kids. We have a system that I started quite a few years ago.

The house is divided into zones.
Cat duties, bathrooms
Dog duties, Dining and Foyer
Kitchen, Computer room
Off day, Piano and TV room

ON SATURDAYS each child gets two rooms and either a cat, dog or kitchen duty. If it is their lucky day, they have an off day but they still do the piano and TV rooms.

Duties include:
cat litter, feed cats, upstairs and down bath, sink, toilet, floor, dirty towels to laundry
dog doo outside, feed them, vacuum, dust, clean windows (dogs like to put nose prints on windows), straighten in both foyer and dining room
Kitchen: wash dishes, dry and put away. Run dishwasher, straighten sweep. wash down counters. Computer room, straighten, dust and sweep. Wash doggy prints off back door windows.
Off day person sweeps, dusts, straightens piano and tv room, adn the blasted dog prints

ON WEEK DAYS
THey do their animal and kitchen duties but not the deep cleaning.

They do the bedrooms in the evening now. We have a 10 minute clean up this room before you get into bed time.

Each child has his or her own colored marker. If it is Jessie's cat day I put a pink C on the day. THe next day is a pink D and then a pink K the next day after that. On J's cat day Karin gets a green D and then a green K and off then a green C on the fourth day. PHilip gets blue and Sarah purple.

This has worked for us for years. I have a foreign exchange student who has jumped right in and a son in the Navy who does his part when he comes home. it's just the routine.

Do not expect them to know how to clean a room because you said clean it. If you want it done a certain way then get in there and show them by doing it with them. This will take a couple weeks but they will eventually get the hang of it and get really good at it.

We have no squabbles over chores. If they do what is expected then we get to go as a family and do something fun. If they dont' then we tell them "well your chores are not done so NO we are not going to the mall or wherever." I have three teenage girls. Sometinmes we rent movies, sometimes they have extra time to make cookies or a cake. Usually they have free time and go to a friend's or have kids over here.

I love flylady.net I have a control journal that has everything in it. How to set the table, How to clean everything, How to do laundry, What to say to the 911 operator, who to call if you need something and it's not an emergency.

THe more organized you are the better they will adhere to the schedule. It takes more time in the beginning but now my kids look at the calendar and know whose on what day. and for the most part they do their chores, somtimes I remind them, but I don't have any more "I did it last time"

I can tell you what we do for our 7yo... but it's just what we do:

Daily Chores:

Before School
- Breakfast (cereal) (( I make brunch at 10, but he's hypoglycemic, it's super important that right after peeing, he make himself something to eat))
- Dishes (B/L/D.. his own)
- Brush Teeth, Shower
- Make Bed
- Clean toilet (aka wipe it down)
- Pick up all toys (Except up to 2 may be left out)
- School
After School
- Play
- Help with Projects (be they cleaning, building, painting, whatever)
- Help with dinner

Weekly Chores
- Wash and put away all of his clothes
- Wash his sheets
- Clean his room
- Pick a chore x 1 (like taking out the garbage, or mopping, or ______)

These are all set up in a checklist that he marks off. He can earn a dollar a day for doing all of his chores, and he has a $3 "bounty" / "bonus" that he gets for doing them with a good attitude. AKA, if he gets all of his chores done every day and has a good attitude about them, he gets $10 a week. He can save it or spend it as he wishes. He has 340 in the bank right now (he's saving for a macbook). He'd already have it, but he spends at least 1-2 weeks allowance each month on things like movie tickets, lunch out, toys, etc. He also gives away about $50 a year to charity. Particularly Hopelink, because the idea of kids not having lunch over the summer is horrifying to him.

My end goal, is that as he gets older for his allowance to increase to a living wage... so that by the time he's 14 he's responsible for buying all of his clothes, paying for all of his own classes, and paying his "portion" of our living expenses/bills (which we'd then put into savings for him), etc.

No allowance in our house. Discipline is not needed most of the time.
We don't have many specifically scheduled chores (aside from the trash). Our boys (10/12) have been taught HOW to do things like laundry, cooking, dishes, house cleaning but they generally only do them on occasion when directed to.
They are mainly responsible for their own messes and belongings and activities---so they do their own breakfast and their own school lunches, clean their table area, bring their hampers to the laundry when full, etc.
They need to tidy their bathroom as needed. I have one child who removes and replaces the tablecloth before and after washing, and one child who vacuums. And there is the trash.
One child will mow and trim the lawn (with supervision and safety glasses!)
Sometimes they do things without being asked, just to help, or because they are bored, or because they enjoy certain tasks.
One of them wears a contact lense, and an eye patch, which is a pain for him, and another wears an orthodontic thing, also a pain.
They are good boys and are responsible, doing their homework before playing, etc.,but they are very active, always running around outside, and they come in very sweaty. We are happy for them to run and play while they are still young. =)

My 9 year old has afternoon and evening chores. She has to come home from school, put her backpack away, change out of her uniform, feed the dog and make sure her room is picked up. In the evening she has to do homework, take a bath, pick up the bathroom and have a good attitude.

Hi T.,

This is how we do it:

There are chores that you do for free because they are a part of learning to be responsible for yourself. These would be things like, cleaning your room, self grooming, picking up after yourself in the bathroom and so on. Then we have the chores that are family contributions that you do get paid for because you are doing them for everyone, for instance, folding clothes, doing dinner dishes, taking out the trash.

In our house the 11 yr. old would do dishes while the 8 yr. old cleared the table and put the food away, and wiped down the table. The 11 yr. old would fold laundry and the 8 yr. old would put it away. They would take turns taking out the trash. On the weekend for about 2 or three hours we would have "family cleanup day" in which each person in the house would be assigned a room, size and difficulty depended on age. I let my 9 yr. old shadow me because I want to teach her how to clean properly before I set her to a task. The things she does on her own are dusting and swiffering but I don't let her use the bleach products until I know she knows how to handle chemicals appropriately.

We pay so much per week for chores. We break it down, assigning a certain ammount to each chore. If you don't do the chore, you don't get paid. If you don't do the personal chores you don't get paid for the family contribution chores because you aren't going to only do the ones you get paid for. Work always comes before play, so you don't get freetime until homework or chores are done, so in that way the punishment takes care of itself.

That's just how we do it, and I hope it's helpful.

At age 11 they could do any chores you decide on, or have a jar for them to pick some out of.. or a chore chart. Allowance is one thing I didn't do with my kids and regret it. I always thought that a family messes up a house together, they clean it together... so I didn't do allowances. They got what they wanted when we went shopping and had jobs at 14 but they grew up not being good with money and I blame that on not being trained on how to save for what you want, to put aside for long term goals and to budget your money. To do it over I would teach them to save for those toys they wanted when we went shopping instead of just buying them for them.

What do you have them doing now?

My kids are almost 7, 5, and 3.

All of my kids clean their own rooms and put away their own pajama's and undergarments (everything else is hung up or folded on the top shelf of their closets.) They all help set the table for dinner and clear it off afterwards. They all also enjoy helping make meals.

My seven and five year old take turns unloading and loading the dishwasher. They do not do it everytime it needs done, but they almost always do it. My three year old unloads and puts away the silverware (we remove any sharp knives first.)

They all help with the laundry. We have one hamper for all of the colors and then two smaller baskets, one for whites and one for socks. The three year old is in charge on bringing the socks to the washer, the five year old does the whites, and my oldest takes the clothes from the hamper and brings the basket to the washer.

My seven year old also likes to clean toilets, go figure!

My five and three year old also run the vacuum!

I have to redo enough of the chores to not make it 100% worth my effort of teaching them so young, but they are a part of the family and need to help in order for things to run smoothly. But we do not give allowance for them helping - they get enough luxuries in life that they do not get rewarded for being part of the family...but that is only my take on allowance. A lot of my friends and family think otherwise :). Good luck!

Updated

My kids are almost 7, 5, and 3.

All of my kids clean their own rooms and put away their own pajama's and undergarments (everything else is hung up or folded on the top shelf of their closets.) They all help set the table for dinner and clear it off afterwards. They all also enjoy helping make meals.

My seven and five year old take turns unloading and loading the dishwasher. They do not do it everytime it needs done, but they almost always do it. My three year old unloads and puts away the silverware (we remove any sharp knives first.)

They all help with the laundry. We have one hamper for all of the colors and then two smaller baskets, one for whites and one for socks. The three year old is in charge on bringing the socks to the washer, the five year old does the whites, and my oldest takes the clothes from the hamper and brings the basket to the washer.

My seven year old also likes to clean toilets, go figure!

My five and three year old also run the vacuum!

I have to redo enough of the chores to not make it 100% worth my effort of teaching them so young, but they are a part of the family and need to help in order for things to run smoothly. But we do not give allowance for them helping - they get enough luxuries in life that they do not get rewarded for being part of the family...but that is only my take on allowance. A lot of my friends and family think otherwise :). Good luck!

I arguably have the worlds easiest 10 year old kid - but here goes; He picks up dog poo and washes the back porch. He feeds the dog He helps with dinner, and sets the table.

On cleaning day he cleans the bathroom and dusts.

He does none of it very well... but that's fine.

Allowance is not related to chores; chores are what he must do because he is part of this family too. Chores are an obligation. Allowance is a base of 5 Euro per week. He also gets 1 Euro a day Monday - Friday based on having a "no drama" day (he's a bit of a drama queen - my boy. The dramatics were costing him friends at school, and causing him to not get his work done in class....).

So - he averages 7 Euro in a bad week, 10 in a great week.

His allowance must pay for things like snacks and souvenirs on field trips, replacements for lost pens and pencils, and snacks when he is out with friends. It must cover all his discretionary spending - I do not supplement it
for "wants" (which is why its so high...)

I recommend the book, "Pick up your socks." It will help now and over the coming years in terms of what to expect at different ages.

Also, to make chores a little more fun, try the "House Fairy." You can find out more about it at the flylady .net website. A brief synopsis: the house fairy might drop in at any time and leave a happy note and perhaps a surprise if she finds something she likes (a clean floor, organized dresser drawer, or whatever). On the other hand, she might leave a note expressing her disappointment if she finds a mess. The children will know that they also just missed out on an opportunity for a treat, too, without her saying so! I recommend a sparkly gel pen for the notes (just more fun), and it doesn't matter if your children don't believe in fairies. I used this successfully with a teen, who appreciated the fun of it. It is a lot better than nagging! The flylady website also has plenty of good ideas about establishing routines.
Good luck!

My son is only 5, but I figured I would start early so that he knows he has responsibilities.
-He takes out the trash (with help from either me or hubby of course when its too heavy for him)
-makes his bed
-sets the table and clears his own plate after eating
-puts away his own folded laundry
-helps me with the washing of clothes (separating, adding the soap, putting things in the dryer, emptying the dryer)
-helps unload the dishwasher

We DO give him allowance, but that's because I think he needs to learn the responsiblity of HAVING HIS OWN MONEY and saving and spending wisely. He gets 25 cents per chore each Sunday evening. He averages about $3 to $4 a week, which he thinks is an absolute gold mine of cash. He also gets additional money for helping out with things not listed on the chore chart but where he is showing that he's going out of his way to be helpful. We only recently started doing this in the last month and he's doing great with it. Granted, when your five, extra responsiblity is a big deal and they feel happy about being a "big kid", so he doesn't ever refuse or forget yet. But if he were to, he simply would lose the money for what he didn't do so that he knows there are consequences for his actions.

Finally, I know your kids are a bit older, but if a five yr old can be counted on to help out, I don't think its such a big expectation to require some help from older kids. You doing this will ensure that your girls will become responsible, contributing members to the world around them.

My daughter who turns 10 in a few months gets $1 per grade level a week. So right now she gets $4 a week for doing her chores. She has to fold and put away her clothes (almost a daily thing), feed/water the cats (daily), empty the small trashcans once a week, dump the inside recycle bucket to the main outside one (daily) and take that down to the curb once a week, clean room (dust and vacuum) and what ever else I or hubby ask. Yard work like pick up sticks, racking leaves, etc.

With you having 2 kids, you could rotate the weekly chores between them and give them both a set of daily chores that are theirs to do as well.

Good luck!
S.

children should be helping with the same daily chores you do - dishes, vacumming, cleaning rooms, etc also older kids aroumd 13, should know how to do laundry.and their reward is that you care and keep them. The family is a team, which means everyone pulls a fair share.
Allowance pay can be for extra chores, like washing the car, weeding the front yard, etc.
When the kids fight, I usually find they are bored and not busy enough!

Hmm, the 11 year old can load the washing machine; do the dishes, vacuum and dust, and maintain her bedroom. The 8 year old can set and clear the table; tidy up the living area, and make her own bed. Both of them can help you fold clean laundry and distribute to the appropriate rooms or closets. As they grow up, they can learn how to cook and alternate on some of the chores.

Helping with household chores prepares them to become responsible adults; and the skills learned will develop confidence.

They are big enough to do alot of things. They may not do it as perfectly as you would, but that's how they learn.
Dishes, cleaning bathroom, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, taking out the trash, feeding the animals, picking up and straightening up the house. They could have 1 or 2 chores a day, varying the schedule so they aren't always stuck doing the same thing.

I don't think they should need a reward system. They live in the house too, and so they should help. Of course, kids who do their chores do get more rewards and privileges. Discipline for not doing them can be loss of privileges, no allowance, and even grounding and losing TV, phone, whatever.