Children and Communion

Updated on April 07, 2010
J.B. asks from Garfield, WA
19 answers

hi moms. i recently made a post about my mil and my daughter attending a christian church. i found myself awaked that night. i want to attend church every sunday i can with my child and husband. i also want your thoughts on giving my 3 year old communion. we dont drink wine at my church its grape juice. i feel that it is acceptable to share my communion with her and that i shouldnt be looked at as odd. is this odd though. as a child i was never allowed to take communion and i didnt understand why. my daughter is an equal in the church i would think so i think she deserves to have communion. what are your opinions? im open to all.
until i read post i realized i forgot to put that the church we will be attending a non denominational church. we dont go up to the alter for comminion our decans bring trays around to the people.

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So What Happened?

I got a lot of great advice and i believe that i will hold off on letting her take it at church. if we choose to do communion when we are unable to attend a church (do to be out of town) i will let her take part and explain what we are doing. i think she will catch on but still not fully understand the complexity of it. thank you all for answering my post!

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

I see nothing wrong with it. I am Methodist. In fact the first time my daughter was given the opportunity she started screaming..."I don't wnat to eat that stuff with the blood on it!!" GOod luck!

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think you should discuss it with your pastor.

3 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Savannah on

Hey J.,

Traditionally communion is reserved for those remembering Christ and their personal relationship with Him. Biblically it is done in remembrance of His crucifixion and resurrection, and thus is reserved for those who have accepted Christ and acknowledged His death and resurrection. After their acknowledgement of this, and their subsequent baptism, they are then permitted to partake of communion.

Its not that people don't want your daughter to be included - its just not accurate, as she can't possibly grasp the depth of the actions she is involved in. Many adults don't either - and before you know it its just become this thing that people do because they think they should. Its a very serious acknowledgement of faith in Christ.

Blah I sound like such a freak! I'm just trying to explain so that its clear what the reason is for it, and why it wouldn't be appropriate.... when she is old enough to understand these concepts (and it can be all ages... it just depends on the person).... but when she's old enough to understand all of that, and to wish to repent and become a Christian, then she is ready. Until then it will be inaccurate for her to take part.

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B.K.

answers from Charlotte on

I go to a Methodist church and your 3 year old would get her own bread and juice, you could probably help her with it though. My husband was raised Catholic and when I go to a Catholic church with him I am not able to have communion there because I haven't gone thru all the "rights" in a Catholic church, they are more stict about it. I think it just depends if the church has an open table philosophy or not.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I don't know what type of church you go to, so I'm not sure what may be acceptable in all churches. I grew up Catholic and minored in Theology in college, so I can answer the question from a Catholic perspective. The reason children do not take communion prior to their First Communion in the Catholic church is that they have not reached the age of reason yet. In other words, a 3 year old would be taking communion because YOU want her to, not because she has made a conscious decision to do so. Before they take their First Communion (which is a sacrament and not to be taken lightly), children go through classes where they learn what communion is all about, and at that time they decide whether or not this is something they'd like to do. Now, at 7 years old (or 10, as it is in other countries), it's a little tough for a child to make a life choice like that, and I think it's really still the parent's choice that drives the child to make that decision.

In my own life, I do not consider myself to be Catholic anymore (I'm a card-carrying Heathen at this point), so I have not made any attempt to explain church or communion to my kids. However since they have religious education at their school, my older daughter has become interested and wants to go to church now. I will support her in this because it's a choice she wants to make, however I think it's also important that she follows the rules of the church. If that means 2 years of CCD before she can even be baptised, then that's what it means. One of the primary dogmas of the Catholic church is that God cannot exist outside of free will, so taking communion when it is not fully one's own choice does not bring one any closer to God. You'd simply be eating a crackier and drinking wine (hey, nothing wrong with that, either).

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I was raised National Catholic (not Roman Catholic, beliefs are just lightly different in intensity). Communion should not be received unless First Holy Communion is completed. My daughter is 2 and does go with my to the altar for Communion. The priest blesses her before giving me the wafer. My older kids do receive Communion but do not take the wine and I really do need to get to church earlier so they can go to confession once a month.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

I was raised Catholic and I know in our church you cannot take communion unless you made the sacrament in a ceremony officiated by a priest. It's a rite of passage in the Church. For most of us Catholics, at the age of 7 or 8, there were two ways to make the sacrament: either you went to a Catholic school and had religious instruction in the 2nd grade and then you made your communion or you attended a catechism class and made your communion--all ceremonial with a priest officiating. I've never heard of anyone getting communion without making the sacrament in front of clergy. I know some Lutherans who made their communion around the age of 13.

I'm interested to hear other responses.

M

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,

It would help if you would say what your denomination is, as each seems to have its own view on Communion. The answer that I would give you, as a Catholic, would probably not be very helpful to you if you are a Protestant.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

Communion is reserved for believers or those who have repented of sin and been baptized. A child as young as 3 does not understand the importance of communion, which is probably why you were not given communion as a child. However your child is equal in God's eyes as well as church and any pastor would bless your child when taken up to the alter during communion. Continue to speak to her about the importance of God and when she is ready for a relationship with him and accepts him into her heart then by all meansm include her in the taking of the elements.

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J., I am an Ex-Catholic. We now go to a Christian non-denominational church in SCV. I know that the pressure from a catholic parent is hard to deal with. My mother actually did not talk to me for about 6 weeks when she found out that I left the church. I left because the CCD classes that they had at the catholic church were boring for my older kids. They hated to go and they hated church. NOT how I wanted to raise my children. At the new church, where we have been members for over 9 years, they have classes for the kids during service. It is basically Sunday School and it is fun for the kids. We have grade levels and the kids are taken care of. I just asked and the kids are not given communion there but if they are in our service then we do give it to them. BUT, as their parents we have explained why we do it. I have watched other children take it and even the pastors children take communion. It is YOUR choice not anyone elses but at least explain why this is done. Get a book about communion and read it to them so that they know. Good luck and Blessings to you and YOUR family.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I can only answer for Catholics as that is what I am---children are not allowed to take communion unless they have received the sacrament of First Communion. It is an important milestone in our faith. So I think the answer would be No, she should not share your communion.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

It is not ok for a child to have communion. Communion is a sacrament. They need to be old enough to understand what it is and why they are having it. Regardless of what kind of church it is she is too young. It is the body and blood of christ. If she doesn't understand what that means she is too young.

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S.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Having communion is a rite of passage in my opinion. It is a big step and one that should be celebrated. By sharing with your daughter at this age I think it takes the meaning away.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, This is a good question for your Pastor.
K. K.

H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that in traditional churches communion is reserved for those who have been baptized or made a profession of faith. I think this was to maintain the sacredness of the occasion. However, i would say this is more tradition than scriptural, so do what you think honors God.

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P.U.

answers from San Diego on

My question would be, does your daughter understand the concept of taking communion? If she can understand (through your guidance and instruction), by all means let her participate. My twin girls are 3-1/2, and have been attending Sunday School since they turned 2. They also attend a Christian based preschool. I personally don't think my girls are ready. My church (also non denominational) offers communion to our Sunday School class for 4 year olds (that are ready to move to this class) and up; it's our kindergarden class. This might just be when they are ready to grasp the true meaning of remembering Christ, and the sacrifice he made for us.

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P.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

As a Methodist there weren't any solid rules for communion so I started taking commmunion young but as a Catholic children wait until they are confirmed. They do this because communion is a sacrament and the church wants all who take the sacrament to understand fully what it is. It's more about making sure that the sacrament is taken because the child chooses it. If your church has no specific doctrine that says when children can take sacrament then you should do what you feel is spiritually right for your child and family. your heart will take you in the right direction...trust it

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

what do other people do? I'd go off that.

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

You should discuss this with your pastor. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but you keep differentiating your church as "christian" and your mil's church as "catholic". Catholics are Christians, too. Aside from the fact that your MIL sounds pretty overbearing about that, I think if you all started viewing each other's churches as being just different kinds of Christian churches which is what they are, you guys might find a little more peace between each other.

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