Children on a Plane - a Rant

There's a difference between a fussy baby & an out of control 3 or 5 year old whose parents have given up on any hope of getting their kids under control. Usually it's a lack of parenting, and not just a baby that's uncomfortable that people get upset with.

I am a mom, I get it. But we were recently on a plane and were in front of a mom with 2 boys and no matter how disruptive they were, she kept baby talking them & never once reprimanded them. She and they talked loudly & the kids were really noisy the entire plane trip & didn't once ask them to quiet down.

This makes me think of my biggest pet peeves in general - parents who are too weak to parent their kids. It's a big problem in society. Scared kid? Fine. Letting a kid act crazy so it's easier on you? Inconsiderate.

As long as the parent is trying to control the situation, I do not have a problem with little ones. It is when the parent ignores the crying, kicking etc.
As long as the parent tries, I am OK with kids flying.

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I flew alone last year with my three boys (5, 3, and 9 months--at the time) and they were nearly perfect on our flights (not really surprised--they're really good kids). I still got so many looks/comments about "so many kids", "having my hands full", and "they're all yours?". While we were waiting for our stroller (again, kids were silent with their backs against the wall), an old lady said, "Where's Dad? He should be traveling with you". I proudly responded, "In Iraq. Hopefully he makes it back to go with us next time!"

I think you have to realize that there are quite a few parents out there who make absolutely no zero zip effort to control their kids on a plane (or anywhere else) and it's not just toddlers - older kids can be ill mannered foul mouthed whiny brats.
Many people HAVE ALREADY experienced hours of living heck on a plane with other peoples kids and it jades their opinions.
There was an article last year about kids traveling on planes and how other people do NOT love your child and how the lack of control has gotten so bad in some places they have begun to schedule designated childless flights in some airlines.
It's not that nasty people are child haters.
It's that people hate nasty children and parents who allow them to run wild.
I think if you are making an honest effort with managing the kids, everyone will get along for the duration of the flight.

I have flown numerous times with my twin daughters. Fortunately, they've been really well behaved, so I haven't had to deal with many of the murderous stares. The best, though was when they were two and a half. My husband and one of our girls were on the aisle/middle on one side and my other daughter and I were on the aisle/middle across the way. There was a super uptight looking guy in a suit in the window seat on my side. I got my daughter all settled and he shot daggers at me the entire time. She settled in to read a picture book and he shot up and reached right over me to grab the flight attendant as she passed by. He actually said in the snottiest tone imaginable: "Ma'am, I need to be reseated. I am NOT going to sit next to a child for the entire flight. I did not pay full fare to play babysitter to someone's brat."

The flight attendant's mouth fell open, as did mine. I tried to assure him that my daughter would be really well behaved, and would probably sleep through most of the flight, but he wasn't having any of it. He just kept getting louder and louder about kids being smelly and loud and not respecting personal space and he would complain. They finally reseated him somewhere behind us and the plane took off. My daughter finished a few picture books, played with pipe cleaners, and then took a two hour nap. She was a perfect angel and everyone around us mentioned how well she and her sister behaved. At the end of the flight the flight attendant passed by my row and told me I'd be happy to hear that the obnoxious guy had been seated in the very last row of the plane by the bathroom between a very large couple who talked over him the entire time. She said he was smushed and it was loud back there.

Karma baby!

I have not read all the responses, so I apologize if I am repeating what someone else has said, but wanted to throw this out there -
Buying a ticket on an airplane is not analogous to buying a massage at a spa, or a ticket to a rated R movie, or another activity where you have some reason to expect (a) there will be no children, and (b) the enjoyment of the experience depends on a quiet environment. Buying a ticket on a plane is simply a ticket to travel from one place to another (hopefully safely and with a modicum of comfort). Families traveling by plane have bought the same ticket for the same reason - to get from one place to another. It is irrational for anyone to expect that they will have a plane full of adults who will not bother them during the travel. Moreover, any crying/tantruming is for a limited period of time - no more than the for the flight itself. Are American adults so coddled we can't even be inconvenienced by crying kids for a few hours out of their lives? Of course, if you are the parent of a kid on an airplane, you do have the social obligation to try to keep the kids under control as much as possible. But if you are a passenger who expects to be on a kid-free plane, then I suggest either buying the plane out or chartering a jet.

Isn't it interesting (in a social studies, detached sort of way) that the people who complain about being seated near children are usually acting far more childish than the children?

When I flew with our son, who was 9 mo. at the time, I joked to my husband that we should 'just go to Costco and buy a big bag of ear plugs-- anytime someone complains, I'm just going to say "oh, here you go" and hand them the ear plugs.'

Seriously, though-- I feel really bad for parents. Our Kiddo did really well on the flight (mostly with my boob in his mouth, ha-- and no one complained about the nursing). However, a few people passive-aggressively took the time to compliment us about how 'good' our son was being, within earshot of another family whose baby was having a tough time. I reminded them that he wasn't being 'good', he just travels easily and that for some families, it *IS* really hard, but the parents are doing the best they can. I kind of hoped they'd get the point....

I've traveled extensively with my children (often without my husband), around the world and domestically. From day one, whenever I board a plane, my ONE mission is to NOT LET MY KIDS BOTHER THE FOLKS AROUND US. Now that could have meant rocking an infant for hours on end to get her to sleep or playing the same peek-a-boo game with a toddler for hours on end to entertain them, or watching them *constantly* so that at the first sign that they MIGHT kick the seat in front of them, I can grab their leg and stop them, or not letting them bang on the tray table because that rocks the seat in front, or countless other CONSTANT and TEDIOUS things that had to be done to make sure the kids didn't bother anyone. And I did this for YEARS, every single time we got on a plane. 14 hour plane ride? Nope, no sleep for me. Not even when the kids were asleep - they *might* wake up and start crying!

Of course in the beginning it was difficult. Babies cry, toddlers want freedom, small children are active. But by being relentless in my efforts, I was rewarded with FANTASTIC travelers. By the time they were 3 or 4, they were all perfectly stellar on airplanes, every single trip. I once got a grumpy look from a woman who, at the end of the trip, actually apologized to me for her earlier grumpy look ("I'm sorry I was so rude earlier, when I saw you with your three kids I thought it would be a horrible ride, but they were so good!"). At 14, 11 and 9, they are now seasoned travelers.

So I know well behaved kids on planes are totally do-able. It just takes effort and vigilance. Constantly. For years. So when I see kids on planes running around and acting up, when I see babies screaming in their carseats and the parents are simply sitting next to them without trying to rock them or do ANYTHING (if the seat belt sign is off, of course, otherwise there's not much one can do), when I see kids standing on their seats and touching the heads of the people in front of them with their mom or dad quietly reading a book next to them, you bet I judge those folks. THOSE FOLKS do NOT belong on planes, not until they can control their kids.

I think there's only so much you can do with a child on a plane. As long as you aren't sitting back and enjoying your drinks while your kids run wild, as long as you're doing your best, you can't allow yourself to worry about the rest. If you do, you'll stress, your stress will impact how well you parent and your children will pick up on that stress and it will impact on their behavior. Do your best, and remind yourself that some people will be unhappy with your family before you even get on the plane and it has nothing at all to do with you. Good luck!

I've traveled with kids from 4 months old up til 17 years old. (Still traveling with the 17 year old who doesn't even have to sit near me anymore, though he likes being nearby when it's an overseas flight, and I'm handing him water when all of a sudden he wakes up dry as a bone.)

I've traveled around others' kids. So I know the score.

The WORST trip I took was with drunk frat boys behind me. They were nasty and abusive to the attendants, and obnoxious to the point of one of them saying "Do you know who my father is? I'm going to report you and you're going to lose your job!" (She wouldn't serve them anymore alcohol.) I gave her my business card and told her that I'd be happy to talk to anyone at the airline if she wanted me to. Of course, he was full of hot air, since I never got a call.

Those were college guys - not toddlers. Yes, I've heard crying. I understand parents nowadays begging the kids to behave - they actually kick families off the plane if the kid can't calm down before takeoff. I'd bribe them too, if I were in their shoes and spent $1000 to fly...

My second worst flight was with a group of middle schoolers from another country who had "homestayed" in Canada for a month and were going home. They were 8 rows ahead of us, and the attendant wanted me and my sons to move up there with them so that the attendants had more room to spread out. My son came back when we were starting to move our stuff and told me where she was trying to move us. I had seen those kids running all over the concourse before getting on the plane. I told the attendant that I wasn't willing to sit with them - I'd never get any sleep. She was so mad at me for not moving that she barely gave us any help or service the whole overseas trip.

Turned out that the kids were crawling over the tops of their seats, making a tremendous amount of noise and bothering all the passengers around them. (No, there was no adult flying with them.) One of them threw an empty Coke can at her head. She apologized to me at the end of the trip when I told her I knew those kids were bad news because of what I witnessed in the airport. (Not that this helped me get any water during my flight...)

Anyway, my story is mostly for you to understand that PEOPLE behaving badly is just as bad as difficult children. Be prepared with toys, snacks, drinks for them to suck on (like juice boxes with a little straw) for take off and landing to help their ears. You could even go to watch planes take off before the first time, spend some time watching them take-off and land, get books from the library about flying on a plane, etc. "Sell" flying to them.

You'll be fine, LT!

Dawn

Traveling is already stressful and frustrating to a lot of people.. We are shoulder to shoulder in our seats.. It is hot, smelly, already just not comfortible..

We all have things we are are leaving and headed to.

Will we be on time? will we catch our connecting fights. Will I need to step over people to go to the potty?

I do not feel well. I have a head ache, my back is killing me, I need sleep, I am starving.. ..

And then.. a baby starts crying.. Yes, if we have children we sympathized.. But if you are on edge already and just needing some quiet time.. and have paid hundreds of dollars for this flight.. you do not want anyone to disrupt the ENTIRE plane.

and yes, one infant/toddler/drunk/mentally ill/smelly person can put the entire flight over the edge.

So yes, we are allowed to complain.. but also children and their parents have a right to be on the plane.. Not sure what else they could do when they need to be able to travel long distances.

What can we do? I as a passenger take earphones or head phones.

As a parent, I tried really hard to be prepared for anything.. Extra snacks, toys, books, time of the flight to match nap time.. But it was always a gamble. I was prepared to purchase drinks for my seat mates, extra earplugs.. etc..
I just tried to stay as calm as possible.

I think people worry that you'll have a monster on the plane. My husband got stuck with one and it wasn't fun. He felt bad for the mom, and SOOO greatful that our guy is an awesome traveler. I'm lucky in that my son travels well and I've only gotten compliments. I've never gotten glares, but the non-family types you can tell are hoping you won't sit near them (LOL!) I put my guy on the window so I can run interference for the aisle person :) I think it's just a vocal few, so ignore them.

Pack things they love and enjoy. Have snacks for them so they are not hungry during the trip (yogurt tubes can be frozen and are the right size to go through security). Have their favorite toys, if you have an ipad with kid games or movies, that'll work. If you can fly southwest, I've had good experiences with them and you can make sure you sit with your kids, you'll always board either in the first group or immediately after.

Good luck!

People glare at me all the time when I board a plane with my kids. The anti-child group is large, but I've never been confronted or had someone ask to move seats. I think most people are understanding as long as they see an attempt made to comfort the child. But I've been on flights where kids have cried or run around and parents did nothing. Even with kids I was aggrevated. As for my 3 year old on a plane, she does understand that it's a special event and I usually pack a Kit Kat and if she gets really fussy I give her a piece. I've never gone through the entire Kit Kat, even on our 10 our flight to Germany. I've actually had people comment that they didn't even know a baby or toddler was on the plane. That being said, it's often been discussed about putting kids on the back of the plane or separate kid-friendly planes. As a parent, I'm all for it. I would feel much more relaxed and comfortable if the people around me were in the same boat and I didn't have to get nervous every time my kid made a sound.

Out of all the times I have flown with my son, I can only recall one where it was a total nightmare. He was 2 1/2 and did not want to be strapped in his seat belt. He pitched a total tantrum for most of the hour flight from D.c. to RI. I had the flight attendent come up to me twice to see what they could do. Their was nothing. Nothing would silence him. Sometimes, you just have to deal. Luckily it was only a one hour flight. I was very fortunate. When I am traveling now, I usually sit where the kids are. I find it comforts other parents having to travel with kids, when another family is near. It's like they feel understood. Anytime a kid throws a tantrum, I usually give the parent a smile, and say that I have been there.

First, ignore comments on sites like yahoo, huffpo, etc. They are almost always vitriolic and unrealistic. And when it's the topic of children, the posters always seem to be from intolerant, childless, hipster, Peter Pan types (adults who want to continue to act as if they are children). (Not all childless hipsters are intolerant; it's the intolerant ones who tend to respond to these posts.)

Second, as long as you aren't completely ignoring bad behavior, you will generally get a lot more sympathy than antipathy on plane rides with young children. If you seem actively engaged at trying to keep them calm and happy (even if you aren't successful), others will cut you some slack. The ones getting the dirty looks are the ones who are ignoring/seemingly oblivious to the behavior. [ETA: reading through the responses, it seems like this is a theme.]

Finally, try to snag one of the last rows on the airplane. These are generally emptier and noisier than the front rows. And you can let your kiddos move around a little bit more. You may even be able to snag an extra seat. And never underestimate the power of snacks and portable dvd players.

ETA: And if you cry easily, let it flow. That's a sure way of getting sympathy and maybe even some help.

@ Jo good will power, I don't think I would've been able to resist :P

Yeah I think its people thinking about their worst experience. On my way to Italy one time, a family with several young children were on board, all behaved well. I was shocked by how quiet they were! On the way home a lady had a screaming child the entire way!! The flight was delayed b/c we were flying a round about way to avoid the ash, so the flight took 15hrs! The child NEVER stopped. Longest flight ever :(

Babies voice are tuned to the EXACT decibel/freq to make them the most annoying sound to human ears on the planet. In fact, in sound torture, that combo is used to drive people insane. Listen for long enough and you actually go DEAF, in your brain trying to protect itself. Which, scientifically, is pretty cool.

Practically, a baby crying wakes human adults out of dead sleep, makes women lactate in response, and short circuits our nervous system. Baby cries HURT us on a physiological level and our adrenal system kicks into overdrive. It's useful in the whole 'propagation of the species' thing. Toddlers also have limited use of this ability.

When your trapped in a steel tube? It's noise torture. People are WIRED to be annoyed and have a need to 'fix' it. Even people who are super tolerant in situations they can leave go bonkers after 4-12 hours. It's as little their fault as the baby/toddler.

With toddlers, though, there's a 2nd problem: people who don't care about anyone else. These are the parents who let their kids kick seats, stand up and mess with the head and hair of people in front of them, slam their chair into the knees of the people behind them, heck... Even hit, kick, bite people around them. That's class 1 "Throttle the Parent". Class 2 bring along loud and obnoxious toys without earphones, don't bring necessary meds (decongestant, antinausea, etc.) so their kids are miserable, don't let kids watch movies/ have the same rules as when they're in a 2000 foot house with a yard (instead of a 4 foot space), don't bring drinks/snacks, don't bring diapers, insist that their kids can use cups (which then spill all over other peoples carry on, or the person themselves).

Just don't be that parent.

And for the inescapable... Bring along a handful of earplugs for those closest to you!

i have had eye rolls when we would board on a plane when my kids were young, and then hours into flights i have had some, one, whatever, come to me tell me how well-behaved my kids are. my kids have been traveling since infants. i am always prepared, even now, at age 8, with toys, distractions etc. when they were young i would tell them stories, make them laugh, give them snacks etc to keep them occupied. i am mindful of other people's space and sanity. even as a mom, i get a headache when i see an out of control child, or a crying child, and parents sitting there expecting the kid to stop bawling. at home, i can understand, but when you are in public, your child is your child, and no one should have to listen to anyone's kid getting out of control.
you will be fine as long as you are prepared. young kids can get earache due to pressure, so bring lollipops with you for takeoff and landing. bring a few toys in a backpack for each child, and good luck

I was lucky I guess. I have only flown once with my DD. We had 2 layovers, and we never got the stinkeye while boarding.On the first plane, my primary objective was keeping her busy. I got her stuff to color with, some little toys, books, etc. Then during our first layover, I kept her awake. (Layover was during nap time.) She was a bit cranky during takeoff, but she passed OUT for the rest of the flight. The second layover and third flight were annoying, because she was soooo sick of traveling by then! But the flight attendant came over, gave her some treats, and turned on the TV for free so she could watch.

Just try to keep your own outlook positive, and try to keep your kids calm. No one can ask for more than that. As long as you are trying, most people are understanding. If not, screw 'em. It's not like you are going to ever see them again. ;)

Although... personally, I think the FRONT of the plane should be the kid's zone... after all, don't they get off quicker? Wouldn't everyone who is soooo agonized by the child's behavior be glad to get them off the plane quicker? lol.

Most of the time people have been very friendly to me...but one time when my daughter was like 18 months I brought her car seat on the airplane and was strapping it in when someone in the row behind me started making snarky comments about how I was being overprotective, etc. and I politely told them that if they'd like to hold my child throughout the duration of the 4 hour flight I'd be happy to check my carseat as not to be too safe! Sheesh! The nerve of some people, cuz ya know, my kid easily could have been that kid running up and down the aisles if I didn't have a way to keep her strapped in!

I wouldn't worry too much. I believe that most people are friendly and the others you have to just be straight with...in a nice way. :) If you can fly Southwest, do it...I've found they are the best with small kids!

LOL Laurie A.!! And yes I too have tried to buy people things, like the young girl in front of us whom my son kept kicking her seat! Thank goodness she was patient!

I've flown with my kids - now 4 and 5 - multiple times as we have family out of state. They have had great flights and the not so great ones. My best advice is to try to relax and enjoy... at the worst you'll have an entertaining story to tell. The more stressed you are the more the kids will sense and react to it. You'll never see the folks on the plane again! Of course don't let the kids run wild, but they will be loud, want to get up and sometimes kick that seat in front of them - or as my 3 year old once did - yell "PEOPLE MOVE" when it was time to get off and we were waiting in the back of the plane... Think of it as a fun adventure and make it that way for the kids. Hide some new coloring books, stickers, movie in the activity back pack to pull out once in the air... and bring lots of snacks. I bet it will be better than you think! For those who feel the way the article says... don't waste the energy thinking about them... it's really sad - THEY were kids once, we all were!!!

I have flown twice with my children and haven't run into trouble either time. I would ignore the occasional glare, but do your best to be mindful of other passengers. My children were well behaved on both flights (better than I would have anticipated). I don't even think other passengers would have been aware of them if they hadn't seen the kids get on the plane.

So prepare as best as you can and try to embrace the flight as a fun new adventure with your kids. If at all possible bring something for the kids to suck/chew on during take off/landings (pacifiers, gum, lollipops). That helps alleviate any air pressure issues. Bring a new toy for each child and pack your bag with small items to entertain them (believe it or not stickers or post it notes can provide quite a bit of entertainment!). My girls loved playing with wiki sticks too and those are very small to pack and easy to clean up when they were done.

Remember kids feed off of our stress, so try not to worry so much.

Good luck!

First of all, the nasty commentators are WAY more vocal online. People may honestly have these views but in real life most people just keep their mouths shut and mind their own business (as it should be, lol!)
I have traveled a LOT, domestically and internationally, both as a non parent and as a parent of kids of all ages, from babies to teens. I can tell you that people are generally sympathetic. Oh sure, you may get an occasional eye roll or a dirty look now and again but so what? It's all part of the cost of getting where you need to go, for ALL of us.
So try not to worry, I doubt that anyone will actually chastise you or say anything at all for that matter. A plane is a confined space and even the jerks don't usually want to get into it (unless they're drunk.) Most people without kids put on their headphones and drown themselves in their own activity, OR they put on the eye mask and earplugs, take a pill and go to sleep.
ETA: but of course you should do everything you can to keep your kids content and contained, teach them not to kick or hit the seat in front of them and if you need to take your child for a walk down the aisle make sure s/he's not running wild, playing overly rough or screaming just for the fun of it!

We fly with my sons, 3 and 5, at least once a year and it's about a 4 hour plane ride from LA to Chicago. We've flown with them since they were babies and have never had any bad experiences with other travelers. Yes, the children cry, whine, get bored, etc. so that's why we sit towards the back of the plane, and bring lots of stuff for the kids to do. I have never had anyone give me dirty looks or confront me about anything. My kids are well behaved, but they are still kids...and boys! If someone did confront me, they'd better be ready for a few words because no matter what you do, kids are kids. I think most people are pretty tolerant and understand that when you are in a public place,restaurant, plane, etc you have to deal with children and be ready for it or else you might as well be a hermit.

I have never flown with my daughter (age 4) but we are getting ready to fly to Alaska soon. Its a 9 hour flight from Ohio to Alaska and we have to make the trip twice! We are moving there. I am dreading the flights already! My daughter is very high energy and very curious. I pray she keeps seated and quiet for 9 hours but I doubt it will happen. I fully expect to get some nasty looks but what can I do? I am already planning on what I can bring to keep her amused and we are talking to her about it and warning her she has to stay seated. Wish me luck!

personally I have been more annoyed by adults that children on the plane. Possibly because we can blame the parents if its the kid but when its an adult who do we have to blame. I love what happymama said about buying a plane ticket: doesn't come with a guarantee that the flight will be quiet and exceptionally pleasant. Its an airplane not a spa! For my kids I always use ear numbing drops for the ascent/descent. When they are really little that is the part that usually give the most problems. They do not know how to deal with what is happening to them.

I never get irritated at an agitated child in situations like that, but I DO get irritated at parents. I'm talking about the parents who do NOTHING to control their child, and either let them cry & disturb everyone or try to plead with an irrational toddler throwing a tantrum to "please stop it, if you stop I'll buy you a candy." It's absolutely ridiculous. Some parents seem to have no clue that THEY are the parent, and not their child.

I took my girls to get their hair trimmed this past weekend and a man brought his son into the shop, and the boy, who must have been around 4, maybe 3, I'm guessing, immediately starts throwing a loud tantrum. The man starts pleading with him. "Jackson, now, we talked about this. Stop crying." Boy keeps screaming. "Jackson, you have to get your hair cut." Boy screams. "Jackson, you need to stop crying." Boy still screaming. "Jackson..." and it went, on and on, and I just had to do a mental eye roll because to be quite honest, had it been my child, they would have gotten one warning before they got a swat on the butt. That sort of behavior, disturbing other people, is absolutely unacceptable.

So yea.... if you can't control your kids, you shouldn't be bringing them on a plane!!

My son has been flying regularly since he was 5 months old (he is 6-1/2 now). He did his first cross county flight at about 16 months. We have had no problems at all. When he was an infant he pretty much fell asleep at take off and woke up at landing. If it was a long flight, he usually woke up to eat. We often got comments when we deplaned that people had not even realized there was a child on the plane. IMO, kids who fly regularly get good at it.

I do really dislike flying when there is a baby that the parent just refuses to pick up when they cry. I don't care if you are trying cry it out at home - it is not appropriate on a plane. And I don't like kids who kick my seat. Both are very avoidable issues.

I have only ever had people be nice to me. I think we have all seen bad parenting on a plane, at the store etc. about people who are just paying no mind to their children and they are running crazy. I have had my son crying when he was an infant etc. and people were very nice and understanding. I think if the passengers see htat you are attempting to help your child or keep things under control they are fine.
Your kids will be fine. Just be prepared as best you can to fly with them.
Worst case scenario, you'll never see those people again in your life!

The children on our international flights were much better behaved than I expected. I know there were at least 6 on one flight b/c the attendant said that 6 families requested the child seats. One of them cried and it wasn't that bad. (I had more issue with customer service telling me I had a child seat and there wasn't any possibility of getting one.)

I think that while there are things you can't avoid with kids, the majority are OK travelers. I also think that some of the most vocal complainers are bad travelers themselves, or flew a bad flight. I'm not excusing children as a whole. I see a ton of bad behavior. But I've also seen a lot of good behavior - when adults are behaving poorly. If people take mass transit (which an airplane is) then there are things they need to take into consideration. Including bad airline food, no leg room, and other passengers.

I would go in knowing that you might have to go with the flow, know your rights and the rights of your children, and even if you cry, know you can and should stand up for yourself and them. It will be OK. If child food is offered, order the kiddie meal plan in advance. Bring snacks. All those tips. Be proactive, not defensive. Hold your head high and don't feel ashamed to bring your children on board. As long as you ARE trying to calm and control your children, you will get most people's sympathy and those that don't? You won't see them again in just a few hours.

You will only be on the plane for a short period of time. Why be concerned about what others think? You won't see them once you deplane. Do the best you can. That's all you can do. Smile if you get comments. Ignore upset looks.

I've ridden on planes with babies and children and did not experience anyone being upset but then the babies and children were all well behaved.

My son flys frequently, we have only had ONE trip out of say 20-30 in 5yrs where he was fussy - ironically the only plane ride WITH daddy! Most people comment on how wonderful he was on the flight - but I also get looks of fear because just before he gets on I get him to get out ALL the Silly's! So he looks like a raving lunatic! In fact, I know how my son will probably be, but even I get anxious when there are a bunch of kids on the flight and start to wonder. If I know one thing, it is when one baby starts to cry the others often start up too!

We fly somewhere with our young kids 3-4x a year. I just pack a bunch of fun distractions, a new toy perhaps, art supplies, new yummy snacks to bribe them with, lightweight books to read, movies and video games along with ear phones for each kid. I will go to a thrift store beforehand to pick out a few cool new books or small toys for cheap. I will buy a fancy art thing from the grocery store (you know those "Colorwonder" books and markers. Target has a great little paint booklet with a tiny paintbrush. You fill the bulb with water and when you paint with the brush it turns the page all different colors. Small kids love this.) It's a little nuts how much I take on the plane, but it works. Our kids are great travelers but of course we have had our bad moments. I engage them the whole time which is tiring (my husband and I take turns) and will walk one to the bathroom even just to wash hands if they are too antsy. I have never had someone complain or be rude...ever. Everyone we meet is so nice and often people are helpful. I think the mean, nasty people are few but vocal....I have never met one in person.

Our kids have flown on planes since they were 6 months old (most of my family lives in the northeast US, we live in Georgia), and on international flights since they were about 2 years old (visits to my husband's family in Tanzania--yep, we're talking about a 9 hour flight plus a 6 hour flight). They're now 10 1/2 and almost 7 years old, so that's quite a few plane trips. I have NEVER encountered someone looking hostile just because we had young children, and only once did they receive a sharp rebuke from the person in front of them (my kid was messing with the back of the seat and I didn't realize it was disturbing the other passenger). Most people have been very ready to chat with them and seemed happy to see them; visible demonstrations that we are doing our best to keep the kids content and in line do build goodwill, I am sure. On the occasions when one of the kids cried during the descent, several people offered suggestions and sucking candies to try to relieve the pressure. So I think you can expect friendliness or at least neutrality, along with assistance and sympathy during the hard times.

Indeed, bringing a variety of entertainment is a must--crayons/markers, several pads of paper, coloring books, reading books, Leapsters/other electronic device and extra batteries, deck of cards, travel games. Snacks are also a good idea.

I do find it interesting that the complaints are about people traveling with kids on a plane. I've never heard complaints about kids traveling on a bus. Why do you think that is so? It's the same thing (small confined space, have to share space with strangers)--and it takes longer than a planeride. Is that because long-distance bus travel is less common nowadays, or because bus riders don't expect the same quality experience? Just something that came to my mind.

Frankly, air travel makes ME cranky. I cannot imagine how hard it is to navigate the airport, security and the airplane with my two children. They might be just fine, but damn I am just not ready to go there yet!

They're few, and in real life, they're not nearly so bold as they are in the comments. They're really wimps, and they're probably drunk anyway. Ignore them.

These opinions are from people who have never had kids. Don't you remember what you thought of other people's "bratty children" before you had any? They don't get it and there's no sense worrying about it because they won't get it until they are parents, and if they are never parents, they will never get it. Its not something worth stressing over. Your children are people with rights to board a plane and go somewhere, and if a passenger doesn't understand, thats out of your control. I have flown with children and if someone was irritated I was not made aware of it. I notice people are nicest to me after the flight, when they realize my kid didn't ruin their flight.

My daughter has flown at least once a year since she was 6 months old and luckily she is a great. We have actually had people stop and say hello to her and comment on how great she was when she was little. Over all I've rarely had issues with other kids on planes and never had anyone bother us. I don't pay attention to other much, especially since I know it won't be a problem.

I'm sure you have other great tips. My tips (which may be repetetive): many large airports have special lines for families so you don't need to worry about being slow through security screening. You may want something for them for their ears (a drink or gummy candy). New toys are great - keep them entertained. Outbursts can happen, but as long as you address your kids behaviour people are generally understanding. We hear the negative in the news, but what you don't hear about are the many flights that go off perfectly with well behaved children on board.

I've flown with my daugther lots of times...the first was a 17 hour flight when she was 2, didn't speak my language, and was scared. Parts of that flight were horrible, and part were fine. We've flown multiple times per year since then for anywhere from 2 to 3 1/2 hr flights. Sometimes the flights are fabulous, and sometimes they haven't been. Kids are not predicable, and travel is not predictable. A lot of people are stressed out when they travel, and no one really seems to want to sit next to little kids. Still, sometimes it's necessary, and you are also a customer. You are far from the only parent who has ever had a fussy little one. Be sure to NOT allow your child to kick the seat in front of you or to run the aisles. Try to keep them as quiet as possible with quiet activities (new ones that they have not previously seen) and take lots of snacks too. As long as you try to minimize the distraction that your child may cause, most people are pretty understanding.

My experience has been that flight attendants are either very helpful or are people who seem to want to escalate the problem. I loved the gate agent when my daughter had a meltdown as we got on the plane, and I was trying my darndest to keep hold of her and also put the stroller down at the same time to gate check it. He was pretty much a jerk, and the gate checked stroller didn't catch up with me until 4 days later. On the same flight, the flight attendant met me at the door and helped me get the diaper bag to my seat so that I could carry my daughter to the seat. She was as sweet as she could be, and she actually filed a complaint against the gate agent for being so unhelpful and rude. You just never know. I will say that we've had far more really great flights than bad ones; you'll be ok.

As a parent, I do not assume that people are "understanding". I always try my hardest to make sure my kids behave well and I bring extra entertainment things just in case. Bad behavior is unacceptable- I don't appreciate parents that assume everyone understands. I work hard to raise respectful kids. I'm not gonna "understand" if you let your kids run wild because they've "got energy". We all do, but composure is incredibly important in small spaces shared with dozens of people... FOR EXAMPLE: do not let your kids run, do not let you kids kick the person in front of you, do not let your kids shout or do annoying noises or things to other passengers. Those are all very controllable situations. If a kid is so tired and crying... hold them, comfort them. I've seen parents get mad at them and that escalates everything. Be understanding to your child- it is stressful for them, too... I know A LOT of kids afraid of flying....

I WOULD be understanding if it is an infant for the most part (I WOULD be thinking, though- breastfeed that baby or swaddle him!!! get up and walk around with him! etc... I'd be annoyed if I personally thought not enough was being done) OR a mentally impaired individual.

I personally prefer driving. If there isn't an ocean separating us from our destination, we drive.

slight tangent here, but i flew with a 6 year old and a not-quite-2 year old almost 20 years ago. a relative was paying for my ticket so i held my baby on my lap to save them the $.
for 7 hours.
smoking was still allowed on planes then, and the disgusting slob in front of me was smoking a STOGEY. it stunk to high heaven, and my poor baby screamed almost non-stop.
for the whole 7 hours.
my 6 year old was angelic. just as well, or i might have just died of fury and frustration.
i have never before or since felt such waves and anger and hatred beating down upon me. i wanted to take every glare and sigh and stuff them down the maw of that man in front of me, and the flight attendants who were also rolling their eyes at me but refusing to speak to him.
so while i so do not enjoy flying with screaming babies, i do have some empathy for the parents.
less so for the ones of the little monster who kicked the back of my seat for 4 hours straight last autumn. i mean, couldn't they walk him up and down the aisles or something?
:/ khairete
S.

Tempers get short. Crying babies and children is the number one trigger for hitting kids to make them shut up. It is a serious thing. If a parent is unable to learn how to manage hours of incessant crying then they may end up shaking and killing their children. Most adults do not have this skill. They take a walk, switch off with the other parent and get out of range, etc....why would strangers on a plane want to hear that for hours? I would not be able to handle it. If they can't come up with a cry room or a separation in the seating area they should be able to figure out some way for parents to manage kids who are upset.

A crying child on a plane is something the ones on the plane can't get a way from either. It may be they just can't handle it. They want to go to sleep or to read quietly. I think that driving is a much better option with children anyway.

If you start your trip at bedtime and one parent drives all night the family can sleep and you can be almost anywhere in America in a day or so. If you were moving to Fairbanks Alaska and going home to GA to visit I would understand why you would fly. But if it's not a long flight then it must not be that far. Not too far where you can't break it up into a couple of hours, break, couple of hours, break....through the day and they into the night.

I think if you have kids that young you should seriously consider driving anywhere you go.