Co-sleeping What's Your Take on It?

Updated on February 16, 2012
K.H. asks from Wausau, WI
40 answers

Personally I don't do Co-sleeping because it makes me too nervous but I was just wondering what your views on it were.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This is exactly what co sleeping in my house would look like. We don't.

http://mommylife.net/archives/2012/01/co-sleeping_car.html

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Kaydon:

To each their own.

I didn't do it. I napped with my kids but didn't share my bed with them day in and day out.

When my kids have bad dreams - they KNOW they can come to me and I will hold them and make it all better for them. But otherwise- they have their beds and sleep in them.

There are many that co-sleeping works for. All the power to those who do it!

3 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

to each thier own is my take on it.

Once in a while while mine were young and wouldn't stay asleep unless being held they did sleep with us but over all they slept in thier cribs while young.

Now they are 3 & 4.. for the past year they go to sleep in thier beds but by morning they both are in bed with us. We don't even feel them come in to bed with us anymore. While I would love to wake up with out a sore back or by being kicked in the face I do love waking up to thier smile and hugs next to me.

Its a personal choice for every family to make what they want to do, just like breast vs bottle feeding and public, private or home schooling. I dont think there is a right or wrong answer on any of it.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

I was against it before I was for it (i.e., before I had kids).

7 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Whatever gets you through the night...literally!
There was no WAY I was going to get up 2 to 3 times a night to feed a baby sitting up in a rocker in another cold, dark room. I would have been a zombie. It was hard enough waking up to nurse but being able to go back to sleep in my own warm bed with my baby? Priceless. My husband loved it too, waking up and saying goodbye to the pair of us :)
And transitioning to their own beds happened naturally, as they stopped feeding at night, no biggie.
The horror stories usually have to do with alcohol and drugs, and as a new mother, or if you have a new baby, you are usually NOT going to be sleeping that hard.

4 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

my take is to each their own, and you do what you have to do=) My daughter had reflux and they didn't give her meds even though she was J. gaining enough to stay off of them, because of that she screamed to be nursed litteraly 24/7 to keep her stomach at an even level. She wasn't in pain while spitting up J. between eating, so she nursed all of the time and never slept. After falling asleep with her in my arms sitting in a chair I decided it was much safer to cosleep.
There are negatives to it. It was really hard to break the habit when she got older and at 5 still begs to come in and sleep, luckily I think I've broken that unless a nightmare is had.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I am pro-co-sleeping 100% as long as the parents do it safely(not taking mind-altering drugs/alcohol, sleeping pills etc)!!!! I have co-slept with my kids since they were born. When they were about 2 1/2, they moved into their own room and own beds. But I have an open door policy and they know they can sleep with us whenever they need to or want to. It was the best decision for us. Its not one for everyone, but it worked great for us and I will do it again with our new baby that is due in a few months :)

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

IMO, co-sleeping dangers are ALL the parents issues. It depends on you and your husbands sleeping habits. Heavy sleepers, that dont wake the minute a loud sound or alarm goes off should NOT co-sleep. Anyone that tosses or turns, or has night terrors, should NOT co-sleep. ANYONE THAT drinks, does drugs (even occasional weed enjoyment) has not slept for a long period of time, taken any type of sleeping medication, or medications to make you drowsy, or smokes heavily should NOT co-sleep. Why? cause these impair the awareness of an adult laying next to a baby that can not push you off. Even if for a moment you roll onto, push a baby over, bunch up the blankets on top of a baby, or accidently strike them during a dream, it can cause a lot of problems and heartbreak. If you feel afraid to co-sleep then dont do it. I am one of those kinds that a butterfly farts and I am awake. I felt confident to do so, and did with all three of my kids. They slept better, deeper and so did I. Better than if they slept alone. ITs not for everyone, but if you can do it, it is very fulfilling and comfortable. My kids as babies never moved or woke during the night. We slept peacefully together. Only now that they are pre-schoolers. They are a pain. They do often flop and flip. We have now transitioned our oldest (5) to her own bed where she rarely ever gets up in the night. The (2) year old is about 50% in her own room now and getting better. The baby never liked to sleep with us from day one (cause of my husbands snoring, it used to scare him) He slept with me in the guest bed when I nursed him. So when I was done, he always had his own crib. He is 1 now and 90% sleep in his own bed, occasionally he sleeps with me in the guest room. I have never done anything yet to make me feel scared to co-sleep. Also sleeping on a couch with a baby is a huge no no... Just forgot to add that in.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

It was a wonderful experience for us. I co-slept with all three of my sons. As a working mom, it was really the only way that I could nurse and get enough rest to function during the day. My babies loved it, I loved it, and my husband never had to get up at night so I think he would say that it was a good thing.

They started most nights going to bed in their crib (or the bassinet or car seat, depending on the age/situation) and then for the first feeding, I would bring them to bed and they'd stay the night. They were all in their own beds/cribs all night by around age 2 so this didn't set up any prolonged issues with them expecting to sleep with us at age 3, 4 etc.

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

It was one of the best things we ever did. When our kids were little, they just slept so much better if they were in our bed. I wasn't able to nurse with our youngest, but I gotta tell you, nursing while lying down and falling right back to sleep with my oldest was a Godsend!!! They are 2 1/2 years apart, and they both spent most of their first 1 1/2 years in our bed. We really never did the crib thing, so when they were about 18 months we began putting them in their own bed at night. They are always welcome to come to our bed in the middle of the night.

Now that I'm working full-time, our youngest (who's almost 3) likes to come into bed with us in the middle of the night. Our theory is that, while he loves his daycare, he just needs to snuggle with us at night. He doesn't join us every night, but some nights he comes to us in the middle of the night and just climbs right into bed and settles in between us.

All I know is, it really helps them to feel safe in the middle of the night (a very scary time for many kids), and it means we all go right back to sleep. My philosophy is, who cares where they sleep as long as we all get to sleep.

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T.K.

answers from Honolulu on

My resons are the same as Melanie D. I co-sleep. I BF. Works for me

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I went back to work, our 4 month old refused my breastmilk in a bottle. I tried every bottle, every nipple. Occasionally she'd take 2 ounces total in an 8 hour period. So when we got home in the evenings, the power-nursing began and didn't end until the next morning. Out of necessity, we began co-sleeping when she turned 6 months (up until then she slept in a bassinet at the end of our bed) and it was a sleep-saver and possibly life-saver! Since my husband and I aren't obese, drug users or heavy drinkers, it worked for us and saved my sanity. Looking back, I wouldn't have done it any other way. You never have to get up in the middle of the night, you aren't worried if they are warm, and if your child is sick she is right there next to you instead of having to worry about her all alone in her bedroom.

Anyway, she stayed in our bed for 2.5 years; until SHE asked to start sleeping in her big girl bed in her bedroom. I'll never forget that night; my husband came home late from work that evening and saw our bedroom door open and hers closed. He immediately asked "Is she in her own room tonight??" We were both a little sad, sniff sniff, but she made it very easy on us since it was her idea and we took her cue and followed it.

Wouldn't change that experience for the world; there is nothing like sleeping next to your young child. Nothing.

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

I co sleep with my baby in bed with me and my husband...this is the third child I have done this with. It works for us until a certian point (with #1 she was 2, with #2 he was 8 months, #3 is 5 months and we are still sleeping well) and then we stop. I have found it to be easier to nurse and meet the baby's needs at night while maximizing the amount of rest I get.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

LOVE it. We have 4 kids and they are ALL extremely independent and are not afraid of anything that goes bump in the night. I roll over and breastfeed the babies and go back to sleep and so do they. They don't get conditioned to cry when they want something, as I feel them shifting and wiggling, so I pop a boob in their mouth before they ever have to cry for attention.

They were all transitioned, except for the current 9 month old, which will be, as well, around 18-25 months. They all stay in their beds all night long. In fact, my husband built a double queen bunk bed and they all sleep in the same room. We'll move the baby in there at some point.

Lots of stories about babies dying while co-sleeping and many of them conveniently forget to include that the parents were either drinking or doing drugs. A friend of mine did neither, but vaccinated her 2 month old baby and was found dead in the am. The police told her that it was her fault....she suffocated him, when in reality, you KNOW when your baby is close to you. It was more likely a vaccine reaction. It destroyed her marriage and the guilt destroyed her life.

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

We do not co-sleep either. In fact the only time our kids are allowed in our bed is on Saturday morning for our family cartoon time.

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L._.

answers from San Diego on

It just depends on the person. I don't move in bed. I don't move my sheets, pillows, or anything. When I sleep by myself, I hardly have to do anything to make my bed in the morning. I lay down, get into position, and I'm set. I sleep light and I can cuddle a baby all night or have them laying next to me. But some people can't. My husband can not do it safely.

My daughter co-slept with my grandson. I went in there and checked on them both all the time. She did okay. They didn't cuddle. He stayed between her and the wall. Some babies have rolled into the crack and suffocated. But we don't have beds that fit that tightly and our babies have been strong and healthy. But it's not for every mom or every baby and it depends on if mom can sleep alone or if dad is there and what size of bed they have. ALSO...NO DRUGS, drinking, and by all means, no anxiety drugs, valuum, or anything that could be mixed with a few beers and create an unsafe situation.

I just had a newborn spend the night with me this last weekend. I told my daughter she had to sleep on the couch because I wanted that baby in bed with me. He has acid reflux and is not a good sleeper. I slept most of the night with him on my chest and part of the night with him laying next to me. He did not spit up once in the 16+ hours I had him. Every time he fussed I rolled him up on my chest and wiggled my feet to put him to sleep. Then I'd roll him back down. He needed fed 4 times overnight. I'm not getting up every 2 hours with a baby in a crib down the hall :)

I loved every minute of it!

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Simply put....I think it's the best for mommy and baby if done sober and in good health.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I sleep better with mine in bed with me and not all the way upstairs in his fully furnished bedroom. He is 13 months and still nursing at night and early in the morning. My husband and I enjoy having him there. I don't know how I'm gonna get him out of my bed when the time comes, but for very specific reasons I don't regret it.

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

It depends on your definition of co-sleeping. Some view it as simply having their baby sleep in a pack n play or bassinett next to your bed and if thats the case then I am all for it. With my first I had her in her pack n play bassinett next to me so that she was with me but NOT in our bed and it worked great. We moved her to her own crib and room for naps at about 3 months and she was in her room for nighttime sleep by 5 months and knock on wood is a phenominal sleeper still at 2. I have baby number 2 due in a week and plan to do the same with this one. But I would NEVER intentionally sleep with my baby in MY bed with me. The way I see it is there is a reason why cribs, bassinetts, bedding and more are designed the way they are for babies and my bed was not designed to meet these safety standards and with both my husband and I in the bed as well that its just an unnecessary recipe for disaster. It works for some but is definitely NOT for me

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Y.B.

answers from Seattle on

We co-sleep with both of our children. Our 3 year old is now in his own bed but it is right next to us, but if he needs to sleep with us he sleeps by his dad on the outside. Our daughter who will be 1 in a few months sleeps with us because she breast feeds throughout the night. We love co-sleeping, I get to snuggle with my children whenever I want and if they are sick or wake up I am instantly aware and can tend to their needs quickly. Co-sleeping is what saved me when my son was born. He was always waking up and getting up to feed him was killing me and we just adapted and haven't regretted a moment of it.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It was not for us.
There were times in the wee hours I brought my son to our bed for the sake of convenience, but we didn't "co-sleep".
I need my sleep. I need some "non-mommy" time as well.
My son has always been such a solid, great sleeper.
In our situation, he slept so much better even just once he was out of the bedside bassinet! I think we disturbed him more than he disturbed us.
It's a personal choice. It was not for us.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I did not co-sleep. All three kids slept in our room in a pack-n-play for the first 6-8 weeks. I did BF and would just get up and walk across the hall. I was worried for the safety factor (suffocating the child while sleeping), but mostly DH and I wanted the bed to ourselves. My friends that do co-sleep either love it or hate it. One friend still co-sleeps with all 3 kids (5, 3, and newborn). Another dear friend hates it--can't get the kids in their own beds and her hubby moved to the couch.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I didn't do it and I guess it can be dangerous at times. I read in the Bible about the baby who died as a result. 1 Kings 3:16-28
I'm sure that's rare but more common in those days when living situations were so unlike ours, or maybe still are.
Everyone has the freedom to choose and many do but I slept better and so did the baby. Most of mine slept through the night very early and don't think they would have in my bed.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

to each their own, I can't sleep well doing that. My son is in his bedroom right next to me, and I am always there if he needs me. He is very close to me, and I don't personally need to co-sleep to get the closeness and bonding. But I don't mind anyone doing it. (safely of course).

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T.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't think I would ever co-sleep, but I did with my first when he was about 5 months old and have with my next two. There is nothing better in this world than being with them and them knowing that you are there. The beauty of it is......you can start out co-sleeping and like everyone that has written in......tailor it to what is comfortable to you.
One last comment about SIDS and co-sleeping......SIDS has been linked to vaccinations because a side effect is that it depresses their respirations and you have a higher chance of saving the baby if you are right next to it, instead of coming in three hours later and finding them dead.

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M.L.

answers from Tucson on

It doesn't bother me. I did it with my second son out of survival! To each their own, whatever works!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I fell asleep a few times with our daughter, it was wonderful, but I kept thinking, if I or my husband ever caused damage or accidentally killed our child, I would never be able to forgive myself. Here in Austin, there have been too many reports of infants who have died cosleeping. Sorry not gambling with our daughters life.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I swore when I had a baby I would not do it because my best friend did and her son would not go to sleep without her. Well when I had mine and I was a single mom I didn't have someone to help get him in the middle of the night to eat. My youngest he would not sleep in his basinet much. He didn't like it so he would end up with us. I think that if both parents are ok with it there is nothing wong. But I know with my friend it caused problems in her marrage. Granted she at the time was married to a jerk.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

The best advice I got when I was preggo with my first was to NEVER rock your baby to sleep and to put them down awake in their own crib/bed so they learn to put themselves to sleep. I did this from day one and for both my kids, they slept straight thru the night 12 hours straight the first week they were home and continued to do so until they were almost 3. They are now 12 and 9 and are still good sleepers. I have never been a sound sleeper and if I had babies, kids in bed with me, I would be a mess! I don't feel like I don't have a close bond with my kids just because I choose to not have a "family bed". Its obviously a personal choice but I'm glad I got the advice I did. I think its stressful enough taking care of babies but it adds way more stress to do it with even less sleep! =)

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

We never did co-sleeping. When my kids were infants they slept in a bassinet right by the bed and were in their own cribs and room at 3 months. I wanted them to be comfortable in their own bed and wanted everyone to get good sleep.

But once they were fully in their own bed and most comfortable there, I'd go into their rooms when they were sleeping and "steal" them into our bed for a while, then put them back :) Or I'd cuddle with them for a while once they got big beds.

You can still have that wonderful sleepy-cuddle time even if you don't co-sleep.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Personally, I think that's how you wind up with a 5yr old in your bed over the long term. We don't do it, and do everything we can to avoid it.

I know it works for some. But it's just not our parenting style.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My friends who co-slept didn't get enough sleep. For years. Their children took the longest to sleep through the night. I am glad I decided not to do it. (Oh, and my children are loved, loving, affectionate, confident, secure, and happy. Don't let anyone guilt you into co-sleeping; do it if you think it is the best thing for your family.)

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I've co-slept with all three of my kids, and it's hard to break them and me of it. I sleep really good with them next me... It started with my first, I had a baby bed, and every time she moved I woke up. I was nursing her too, and one night I was so exhausted, I put her in bed with me and nursed her and fell asleep with her in my arms. We both slept great. I was a little scared at first that I might roll on her, but any time she would move, I'd wake up, then I just felt she was safe in my arms. Then #2 came, and I co-slept with both of them, until they were late elementary school, but time to time they would get in bed with me. My husband is not a cuddler, and loves his space, not to mention he says I snore very loud. The kids and I sleep great together and he was okay with it. #3 came after 9.5 years from #2, so #3 and I are still co-sleeping. I know it's going to be hard to put him in his own bed, but for now, it works for our family.

I really don't care what anyone else thinks of it. I do see the pro and cons to doing it. It's hard to break... I do think it helps baby's with breathing, and I know studies have shown that.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

My son in laws grandson died of SIDS just under 3 months old. One link they have to SIDS is cosleeping. Is it really worth the danger?

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

I'm fairly crunchy. I'll admit it. But I'd never co-sleep. The stats are just not with it. Too many children die from suffocation. On one of my birth boards on BBC a women's child just died ,from her husband I think it was, rolling on the baby. I've heard more of these questionable SIDS deaths with co-sleeping involved that I just wouldn't do it in a million years.

Not for me. My babies will always have their own bassinets and cribs.

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J.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

Both of my kiddos, 7 & 1, slept in their cribs in their own rooms from the day we brought them home from the hospital. I never had a problem putting them in their own beds when they were sleepy. They would put themselves right to sleep even as newborns. I was never comfortable having them in my bed even if they would wake up extra early on a Saturday! I never felt safe having them beside me on the rare occasion that one of them might come into our bed, plus I couldn't sleep well. Both of my children are loved, happy, and well-adjusted little people! Just because I didn't sleep with them doesn't mean I don't love them! Plus, when do you conceive a second child if there is always one in bed with you!?!?

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C.C.

answers from Eau Claire on

I used to be completely against co-sleeping with all of the horror stories about children being suffocated while co-sleeping. My older 2 were unable to breast feed so it was really easy for me to put them into their bed as I was already up and making bottles and changing diapers in the middle of the night. When my 3rd child was born he was my first to breast feed. I started by still having him in his bassinet to sleep, however, as he got a little bigger and started eating longer I would occasionally fall asleep with his still feeding. It got to the point that he wouldn't sleep at night unless he was in bed with me snuggling. Thankfully he broke that habit by the time he was 8 months old and is now the best sleeper out of my children and most nights will stay in his bed all night. We do still have occasional nights when he climbs into bed with my & my hubby, but that's to be expected. I am not a heavy sleeper and don't move much during sleep so I had no problems with co-sleeping with my son.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was one who said pre-kids I'd NEVER do it, but I did for a time with all 3. It was just easy while BF and it seemed like we all got more sleep that way. DH would sometimes sleep downstairs so baby and I could have the entire bed and that worked out fine. Once baby could sleep for most of the night we'd move him/her to the crib in the nursery, so I'd say at about 6 weeks old we'd make the transition. My kids all sleep great in their own beds in their own rooms, we have no issues with kids trying to sleep with us now. I think whatever works for each family and this worked for us.

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am not against it, I just say to each their own, do what works for your family. I do think it might could be more difficult getting them to move to their rooms when older, but if the parents don't mind, that is their choice. Co-sleeping just was not for us. We did not co-sleep with either of our boys. Both slept in a bassinet until at least 6 weeks, then moved to the crib in their own room. 9 year old (when younger) had slept with me a few times when he was sick, but that was about it. Never had any problems and moving them to a toddler bed was easy. My 9 year old of course has been in his own room. My 2 1/2 year old is very easy to get into bed. He loves his 'big boy' bed literally takes 5 minutes to put him down. As long as he has his yellow blankie, and his lullaby CD he is happy. I do have friends that co-sleep and one who is having difficulty getting her 4 year old to transition to her own room. I know she recently has had many sleepless nights.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter slept with me and we enver had any problems with it.

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