Co-worker Having 3Rd Baby

Updated on August 21, 2009
C.H. asks from Canton, OH
28 answers

My co-worker is having her 3rd baby. She has already had 2 girls and this will be her 3rd. The last one she had is now 5 so it has been a while since she has had a little one around the house. Since I am the only other lady in my department it would be up to me to throw a baby shower. I am not sure if I should throw one or not since it is her 3rd baby and I know people may be put off by buying gifts for a 3rd baby. Does anyone have a good suggestion to help her celebrate the baby without actually throwing a shower? Thanks for any help you can give.

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A.H.

answers from Toledo on

I think it is kind of you to think of her. I have heard of having a "sprinkle" rather than a shower for children after the first. Maybe have everyone contribute for a cake, and lots of diapers & wipes? Or perhaps have a theme and everyone pick up a little something.....like "Babyproofing" items......or feeding & eating items(I always appreciated new bibs!) .....or bathing items.....(bath tub theme is cute, rubber duckies & bubbles ~ and easy to buy for) It doesn't have to be elaborate to make the Mom feel special and help welcome a new baby girl!
Have fun

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

C.,

I had 2 baby showers, but I have 4 kids. My first one was for the 14 year old girl, the second was for my 5 year old girl... then I had 2 boys (4 years & 2 years old). The only reason I had 2 was because I was told when my oldest was 10 that I couldn't have anymore so we got rid of everything but a little bit of clothes.

I did get gifts for my boys, but most of them were after they were born... at the hospital, mailed in or brought over. Some people feel a need to buy for every little one coming in the world and others don't. By the 3rd one I just wanted diapers, bath soaps, wipes... the everyday stuff that you pay out the *** to keep in the house. I had the crib, carseats, toys - although we did need another highchair since the 3 youngest still sit in them.

If you choose to do something... maybe just put a pot out for people to cash in or make all the gift givers names secret. That way no one will feel bad if they choose not to give. With everyone struggling right now - might be a better way to go anyways. You can either take the pot money and get something big... or let her buy what she wants. Then if people can only spare a dollar they don't feel bad about it cause no one will know how or what everyone contribute. And then have a cake just to say congratz.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't think a shower for a third child is needed or appropriate. Why not organize a group to help prepare meals, etc. that she can put in the freezer or assign dates to bring meals, etc. Maybe someone else can volunteer to do grocery shopping or whatever after the baby is born. I think she'll get WWWWWWAAAY more out of something like this and appreciate so much more.

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Y.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Umm, honey, it doesn't matter if it's her tenth. People can have as many as they want. As that is her choice, it is your choice to throw a shower or not! If it is not something you don't want to take on be honest with your co-workers and let them know it's not what you want to do. Nominate someone else or just agree that you all can choose a day for everyone to bring a gift and maybe just order in bagels or something for breakfast. That way no one feels obligated to do anything.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Columbus on

I would definitely do something! A baby is a blessing no matter if they are the first, second, third, whatever! I wouldn't worry about how other people feel...do what you think would mean the most to the mom. My office sent me a big gift basket when I had my third and it was a wonderful surprise! But I get so mad a people that "are put off" because they might have to get a gift for a baby that isn't the first. If it's really that big of a deal for them to get a gift then fine, don't get one, but I buy baby gifts for people, shower or no shower, because I'm truly happy that they have been blessed with another miracle!

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I agree that every baby deserves to be celebrated. If people are put off that they have to buy a gift for a 3rd baby, then they can choose not to attend. You might be surprised that most people don't care, and will be happy to attend & buy a gift. Throw her a shower! She will love it and be so happy!

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K.T.

answers from Columbus on

I would not throw her a baby shower. If you feel the need or desire to do something, simply buy a gift when the baby is born. I think if she expects a shower with her third baby, that's pretty selfish of her.

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S.Z.

answers from Cleveland on

Did she work with you when she had her other 2 children? If not then say I want to make her (and her baby) feel special and ask to have a small party. IF she did A group gift from co-workers is always appreciated. You can still have a cake and you could do a bring in for lunch that day. I dont know if she still has her old baby stuff but if she does try for the group gift a spa thing (facial, pedi, mani, massage, etc). Just make sure it wont expire in case she cant squeeze in time to do it in the first 6 months-1 year.

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R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think a card from everyone and a gift card would be appropriate.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I always thought it was poor taste to have a second or third shower but the new rule is it's okay if she is needy.
If she's working I can't honestly see her as needy as someone like me who cannot work. I have too many health issues so does my husband.
I could see having a luncheon in her honor. Leave gifts up to the other people or buy one big thing. Like a certain stroller. Cool baby bed. Something that she may not consider herself or what about all of you paying for diaper service if it's in your area. My mother did that for me with both boys. What a god send not doing diapers the firsat 6 weeks, or even disposables. Either way she would be happy.

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K.K.

answers from Columbus on

I think it's very thoughtful of you to step up and do something nice for your co-worker. I suggest a lunch or brunch (if you intend to have it on the weekend) at a restaurant would be a nice idea. Since you have designated yourself as the 'planner' I would ask for contributions from your fellow co-workers--put aside part of the money from the fund to pay for the guest of honor's lunch and then the rest spend on
gifts cards/certificates for items that she can truly use . One unique gift that would be well-received and appreciated is a gift certificate for pre-paid baby sitting services (at least three hours) from a professional baby sitting service such as I Need A Sitter, LLC. If you live in Columbus,OH or the surrounding suburbs; I Need A Sitter, LLC matches experienced, adult sitters to families. Visit www.ineedasitterllc.com

Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Youngstown on

You can ask the other co workers in the office if they want to pitch in and get her something nice as a whole and then maybe present it at an office meeting or take a few minutes out of the morning w/ muffins and coffee, etc...and give it to her that way. That way it's not a huge deal like a baby shower, but at least you were all thoughtful about the third baby she is having. If you aren't sure about what gift, b/c she may still have baby stuff from previous kids, you can always do a gift card or ask everyone to get diaper and wipes only. You can never go wrong with diapers and wipes! Whatever you do, I am sure she will appreciate it tremendously!!! Most people don't expect anything after their first, so I am sure she'll be surprised!

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S.F.

answers from Mansfield on

Hi C.,
We recently had #4&#5 (surprise twins!) and some people suggested I could have had a shower, but I didn't feel comfortable doing that since we already had 3 children. However, we appreciated ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we received as gifts. My husband's office bought us 4 catered dinners from a local caterer, our sunday school class gave us a huge laundry basket full of baby stuff (incl. diapers, sleepers, wipes, bibs, blankets, etc), someone gave us about a weeks worth of frozen homemade dinners, and we received gift cards from several people. You could give whatever you decide at lunch time with a special cake. Hopefully this will help with ideas...just know that whatever you decide, the family will be thrilled and just so thankful that you thought of them! :) Good luck!! :)

L.F.

answers from Columbus on

Throw her a diaper shower. She may still have all her baby stuff if she knew she was going to have more children but we always need diapers. All coworkers can do this and it makes it easy. I recommend getting sizes one's and two along with the newborn. A good friend of mine did this for her coworker. His wife was pregnant with their second child and she wanted to do something special for them.

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S.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Send an envelope around to collect money for a baby gift for her. Buy some decorations for her desk area from the dollar store. Buy her one gift from the whole department.

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S.Y.

answers from Dayton on

We have thrown diaper showers, moms always need diapers for a new baby!

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K.V.

answers from Columbus on

When I went to the parenting class when my first son was born almost 5 years ago, they made us aware of the fact that all car seats have a 5 year expiration date on them. If she had used the seat from her first child for her second she will definately need a new infant carrier, car seat and booster seat and there is always diapers which she will definately need. If you don't feel comfortable throwing a shower it would still be appropriate to take up a collection and give her a gift certificate to some place she shops. If she is returning to work 6-8 weeks after giving birth you could do what my co-workers did for me when my son was born which is everyone take a day and for the first week or two after she returns one of the co-workers brings in a cooked (or partially cooked) frozen meal that she can then take home to her family. It was one the best things that anyone ever did for me. Plus that baby propably won't be sleeping through the night and that will be one less thing to tire her out when she returns to work.

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I feel every baby should be celebrated! Each one is different each one is a gift and each one should have new things. Can you get with anyone in her family and ask if they are doing anything for her? If you would help with that???
Tell the guys in the department that your having a luncheon or something right after work maybe at a restaurant. Or maybe something small at break time. Guys are not into showers per say. But it would be nice to do something for her.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

a "blessing way" luncheon. No gifts, just well-wishes.

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C.H.

answers from Cleveland on

It is a lot when a person has a 3rd baby to throw another shower, so I would suggest you get a card and pass it around and take up a collection to buy a gift card. Also, have a cake, a couple weeks before she is due for everyone at the company and present the card at that time. It is nice that you would do this for her and she will appreciate it!

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D.W.

answers from Cleveland on

We run into this all the time at our school. I suggest that you bring in lunch or maybe just desserts to share with everyone that are baby related. You can also let everyone know that you will be putting together a basket of items for her if anyone would like to put something in. A gift card is another way for people to donate to if they choose, but they don't have to. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

I was told that first and 3 rd children should have a baby shower. My sister looked it up in a Emily Post book.I'm sure some of the things she used for the first two are still usable but it is a new baby and new babies should have new things.Her last child is 5 years old that's a long time ago to still have things around from the first two.I would talk to her and her friends and see just what she does need and maybe any big dollar items could be a joint present from several of you. Baby showers are really wonderful for the Mom's as it takes a load of wondering off of thier minds when they recieve nice gifts for the new child.Personally I think all babies deserve a shower as they are God's little Miracles.

M.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I think a cake/or fruit bowl with office time to celebrate her new baby would be a wonderful gesture. As far as shower gifts are concerned.... pitching in for a gift card for her to purchase diapers or formula or necessities is always thoughtful! I'm sure anything would be appreciated.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would be put off with a third shower myself although I hear it is being done more and more! But at work it isn't necessary to have one. I would talk to the other women and maybe you could all get together and take her out for dinner and give her one gift from all of you and if there is enough money leftover a gift certificate to pick up some things she might need.
I make baby afghans and sell them and if you know the colors you want one could be easily made and frankly takes less than a week to do! My daughter does the same. The other suggestion would be to do a diaper bag type of thing up with diapers, shampoo, lotion, Q-tips, etc. in it which would come in handy as we all know!

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J.J.

answers from Columbus on

I feel the life of every child should be celebrated and I think a "manners guide" telling us otherwise is about as outdated as not wearing white after Labor Day. Since you are referring to work and you are in a male dominated department it is more than appropriate to have a card signed by all and freewill donations put in to a gift card. I don't think a baby shower is necessary at work. Every mother would appreciate the gift card which allows them to buy necessities as they come up. Men don't follow stupid "rules" they are logical thinkers. I would think they would see it as the co-worker is having a baby and that is that.

Best of luck!

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K.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I was the co-worker! :) My youngest daughter will be 2 in December. I have two older daughters, 9 and 6. I was not planning on having any more children, so I had gotten rid of EVERYTHING for a baby. My co-workers, who did not know me with the first two pregnancies, threw me a surprise baby shower at the office. It was a wonderful, thoughtful and greatly appreciated surprise! If you don't want to do a shower, just send around a note in the office and let people know that you are taking donations for a gift card for her to babies r us or somewhere like that. Then pick up a card and have those who donate sign the card. That will be very appreciated (and probably more comfortable for the guys than attending a shower)!

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J.W.

answers from Columbus on

I had my second baby 9 months ago. The first one was born while I was at a previous employer. The majority of our office is male. They bought a gift for the baby and the family, a restaurant gift card, after the baby was born. It was a nice welcome back to the office.
J.

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M.A.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi C.. I think it would be great to celebrate your co-worker having another child. Instead of a shower, though, I'd pass around an envelope for your coworkers to donate whatever they see fit. Then you can get her a nice gift card or gifts from everyone. Hope this helps.

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