Crib Standing and Won't Go to Sleep

Updated on June 05, 2008
E.K. asks from San Diego, CA
7 answers

My son is 9 months old and sleeps through the night. He just figured out how to stand up in his crib and it is affecting his bedtime and naptime routine. He used to be put down after his bottle and either go right to sleep or cry for about 10 min and then go to sleep. Now he stands up after I put him down and won't lay down unless I rock him to sleep after he has exausted himself. Should I let him cry it out? Will he eventually lay down and go to sleep?

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C.C.

answers from Reno on

I would put him to bed, ignore him standing up as you walk out of the room and let him cry it off if he even cries at all. He may not cry if you don't take the time to try to get him to lay down. We rocked our son until he was 1 and finally did CIO when our ped recommended it. Within a week he just knew that he had to go to sleep on his own. His stomach was full, his diaper was clean and he was fine. I won't say it's easy but it works...but that's the whole thing about parenting. We hate isolating our kids for misbehaving but that's the only way to get them to understand beyond spanking them which doesn't send the right message.

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P.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh I remember my daughter at that stage - and yes it was at about 9 months (she's my only child, and is now almost 3 years old). What I did was basically kiss her goodnight (or "see you after nap"), turn on the mobile that I had for her and do everything "routine" that I did before she started to stand up in the crib(she was and still is very routined). Eventually she would lay down and go to sleep - sometimes after just a few minutes, sometime it would take up to 45 minutes. I just would let her do her thing and work it our on her own (she was never much of a cryer, she would just lay there awake, and "talking"). My thought at the time was that the standing thing was new and execting for her and she want a bit of attention for the new accomplishment. I tried not to make a huge deal about the fact that she would not stay laying down, and her "standing before bedtime" lasted about a week. She finally did go back to her normal routine again. Sorry it's not much of an "advice" response, just thought I'd share my experience. Hope you get through it ok :-)

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi E.:
I think Pennie gave an excellent response. I agree with her, that the less you make of him standing after you lay him down the better.I think I'd pretend, I didn't even see him get back up. I don't think you need to make him CIO. Maybe for soothing purposes,and to calm him down you could give him some soft music to listen to.Best of luck to you and your active son.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just got the Supernanny's baby book for this EXACT problem! This is what she says to do.

Put him in his bed, when he cries you walk in dont make eye contact rub/pat him and say shhhh. walk out. He will continue to cry. wait five minutes repeat. If he is still crying wait ten minutes repeat. She said to keep doubling the time and DONT GIVE IN! I have gotten to the 40 minute mark once. and he eventually went to sleep.

just remember as bad as you want to dont go against the plan. It is really hard but it does work!

He will eventually lay down and go to sleep on his own!

Good luck

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi E., rock you baby to sleep, I never put an awake baby to bed, I rocked my babies from new born all the way untill they got a little older, even and one one and a half they still liked to be rocked, but didn't have to fall asleep being rocked. I just can't see putting an awake baby to bed or nap. Mom for 24 years J.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It's a developmental phase, and they develop more gross motor skills etc. Kids learn by "repetition" they "practice" their new skills even, yes, in the crib when they are "supposed" to be sleeping. They don't do it on purpose...it's part instinct and that they are exploring. It's a natural part of development and normal.

Yes, these developmental/cognitive growth & development spurts WILL AFFECT THEIR SLEEP. It's normal. But it is a phase and it will pass.

In the meantime, well, just bear with it. BUT, by all means, KEEP his regular sleep/nap routine and sleep/nap times. Keep up with it and the consistency. When the phase passes, things will go back to normal.

Both of my kids went through this. And it WILL happen at any developmental leap and growth spurt.

The good thing here, is that your son is developing well...he is already standing/pulling up. Good for him! BUT, remember that these skills don't always happen as a "common sense" thing...ie: he can stand up....but that does NOT mean that a baby can then sit back down nicely, and then lie back down, AND put themselves back into a nice little sleep position, all by themselves, and how we want them to. Many times, they can indeed stand up/pull up...but do not yet know how to sit back down...so they will fall onto their bum and get all frustrated and then stand back up again, over and over. He is probably not yet at the stage where he is old enough to do things in a sequence: ie: stand up, then sit down, and then lie down to go back to sleep. His "new" skills are still throwing him off...but he WILL adjust and then he will learn to do it. But you must give it time.

So, you will need to either (1) let him cry it out and leave him there standing in the crib all night until he gets too worn out or (2) go in, help him & put him back into a sleep position, then pat him, and leave the room. In either case, it WILL interrupt his and your sleep.

It's not easy for them either... they have a lot to adjust to and need to "learn" coordination and how to handle their bodies and new skills.

Remember, that it is a growth phase and is normal. BUT any "new" sleep/nap habit you introduce now, can and may alter his regular sleep/nap habits. Main thing is you want them to feel comforted at this stage of changing development...so be there for him, but encourage him to self soothe too.

When my kids went through these things, I would go in and adjust them, help them, even if it meant doing it several times during the night... but I would leave them in their crib...pat them, comfort them with my voice, etc., but I did not take them out. ONLY if they were really distressed, would I then take them out, and then (because I was so tired) I would co-sleep with them. BUT initially, I always put them down in their crib first... and then went from there.

It's a phase though. But, once at around 6 months old, when my son was crawling and doing it in the crib too and it affected his sleep, I was so tired...so I would sleep with him as this was the only thing at the time that got him to sleep....BUT THEN, thereafter, that is the way he "expected" to fall asleep, and I had a hard time getting him back into the crib. It took a lot of effort to get him back into his crib. But he finally did.

Anyway, I'm rambling so I better stop here. Hope this helps...your boy is normal and developing. I know it's not easy...but it will pass. All the best,
~Susan

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

This too shall pass- Yes, he will lay back down on his own. The doctor told me this is a typical developmental milestone, and usually occurs when they learn a new skill like crawling. My boy went through this at around the same time, right after he started crawling. When we went through this, I panicked thinking he was going to climb out. I lowered the mattress and kept going in to him because I was so nervous. It was the biggest mistake I could have made because he learned that if he stood up and called for me, I would come. He started waking every hour, and I was beside myself. I finally gave in to letting him cry, and now he sleeps straight through the night. I also found a great resource for helping babies sleep. Sleepyplanet.com has books and DVDs to guide you through any issues. I still use the book as a resource for every set back.
Good Luck

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