Crying in the Middle of the Night

Updated on February 20, 2008
A.H. asks from Queen Creek, AZ
25 answers

My two and a half year old has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. I have heard that kids have night terrors but am not sure what to do about it. He wakes up screaming and then I go in and rub his back for a minute. He usually calms right down but occasionally wants me to lay with him till he falls back asleep or asks for his daddy. Any advice on how to end these middle of the night issues?

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K.S.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter has been doing that lately also. She is almost 3. We started putting her to bed earlier since she seemed to be overtired in the evening. I has worked okay. I would love to get some advice too.
Good luck.
K.

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R.L.

answers from Lubbock on

My daughter started doing the same thing. I tryed giving pain medicine thinking that would help with her teeth, she kept waking up, I tryed giving her gas drops, That did not do much. I recently went and bought a fan. The noise of it is helping her sleep through the night again , I am thinking that she is becoming sensitive to the noises in her room or from outside. YOu can always give that a try. Hang in there!

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M.W.

answers from Santa Fe on

Does he have all his molars yet? Molar teething pain often manifests at night and is excrciating. My son, 2 yr 4 mo, was waking screaming for a couple weeks or so before I realized it was the tooth

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S.L.

answers from Albuquerque on

Our son went through this about 6 months ago. Here's are the things we eventually tried: With our son, he seemed to have a bad dream or episode and then there was something in his room that reminded him of it when he'd wake again. If your son seems scared of his surroundings (ours was afraid of "something" by his dresser) change things up in his room a little. Move stuff around, drape a sheet over something he seems to be afraid of. Also, don't let your little one eat too close to bedtime (especially not sugar!). We've found that our son is just like us in that late eating causes dreams and restlessness. If you have the resources, you may consider taking your son to a chiropractor for an adjustment. We take both of our kids every few weeks and it really helps them sleep better. The regular adjustments keep their little bodies working well and they don't get sick as often either. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Phoenix on

You should lay down with him or if that does not work then sing rock a bye baby and see if that works

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K.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.,
My son (also Tanner) had night terrors at about the same age. He was not consolable. He would scream and cry like he was being attacked and when I would run in there he wouldn't even recognize me. He would be crying for me and push me away like I was a stranger at the same time. It was horrible! I was relieved when I finally learned what it was because I had no idea what to do. If it is night terrors, they say that sometimes a break in routine such as staying up too late, missing a nap, or too many sweets can spur them on. The most relieving thing to me was that they don't remember the episode later, because they are actually sleeping at the time. (Thank heavens because it is miserable) Good luck, he will outgrow it and try to keep those routines.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I keep hearing about these night terrors kids are having. All of them are having them around your child's age. I have no experience with them specifically, but I have had other sleep and behavioral issues with my son.

I highly recommend seeking out a "classical" homeopath. They will choose a remedy that is right for your child, based on your child, genetics, etc. AZ is the mecca for homeopathy as we have the nation's most respected school. Try the school or the yellow pages. I had a homeopath, but need to choose a new one so I don't have one that I can recommend at this time.

Homeopathy has helped my son and my family in many ways. AFter you experience it, you may choose to get books and read up as I did. I am very happy I have it to lean on.
B.

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K.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you are doing all you can do. My 2.5 yr old has been doing the same thing. Her daytime behavior has regressed with it (perhaps due to tiredness or a developmental surge). In either case, we are just being firm but loving. THis is not playtime, we'll help you settle but it is sleep time! It will pass...he may be testing to see if you will always come! who knows, but he needs to do it. Just keep reinforcing that it is sleep time and make your visits brief.

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S.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.,
We also have a 2 and a half year old who goes through stages of the screaming and crying in the middle of the night. In my experience, there is really nothing you can do. It comes and goes in stages. We just comfort our son when it happens by rubbing his back and telling him he is okay and he goes back to sleep. Good luck.

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D.A.

answers from Yuma on

A.,

I'm sorry to here about your son. However, I do not believe that he has "night terrors". When a night terror happens, the child will not respond to you and will go right back to sleep, without any assistance from you. Imagine your child looking like the girl from "Exorcist". The child will look awake, but there will be a blank look in their eyes and they will not respond to you. Night terrors are harmless and occur in only 5% of children. Night terrors usually disappear my 6 years of age.
My daughter who will be 6 in April, has night terrors (I can't wait!). They are the most heartbreaking thing to watch and I feel powerless every time. I have learned that you just have to keep them safe, do not rouse them or talk to them.
Your son is probably having "nightmares". A nightmare is different from a night terror, because you can wake the child. The child will most certainly need some comforting to go back to sleep. The thing about nightmares is that there is usually a trigger....too much TV before bed, sweets before bed, an interruption in your child's bedtime, etc. Keep track of what happened before bed, try to keep the same bedtime routine, no TV for at least 30 mins before bed, etc. When all else fails try some dream fairy dust or just some good dream dust. Sprinkle a little dust on the pillow, have your child wish for good dreams or help them think of something special to dream about, then them rub it into the pillow. This "dust" is sold in specially shops and online, but you can make your own with some lavender scented powder and a little bit of very small grained sparkles. I have used this trick with both my daughter and my son (2). I can tell you that it has worked on some occasions and not on other occasions. I does tend to be a little daunting, but it is better than waking up to a screaming child!

Good luck and know that you are not alone...
D.

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello A., we both have the same issue. My son is almost three and started doing that at 12am, 2am always in the middle of the night. Someone told me he may have growing pains or its an age thing. My son seems awake but hes not. Maybe its when their imagination starts to create dreams. If you find something that works let me know. Sometime he wolnt go back to sleep and I lose sleep. Boys are great arnt they?

J.

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K.P.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter has the same thing - although they have lessened with age - she is almost 5 now and I think the last one was a few months ago - the previous one was at least 6 months before that. There is nothing I have found to help - I do the same thing...sit and rub her back until she calms down....then she falls back asleep. She does not recall the dreams in the morning - we have asked if she remembered what her dream was about and if she remembers me rubbing her back...but she doesn't. I am sure that this is something they just grow out of.

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S.L.

answers from Albuquerque on

For night terrors you can try a Flower Essence called Aspen. It is for nightmares and unknown
fears. You obtain this at a health food store. It is natural with no side effects. You put the
drops in water or juice.

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R.R.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi A.,

My son had night terrors and they are very scary to witness. He was having them 3-4 times a week. He would suddenly scream a horrible scream in the middle of the night and my husband and I would run in the room and he would still be asleep. That's how you know it's a night terror and not a nightmare. He will still be asleep and have no clue that you are even there. My son would push us away while he was having them or cry. It's hard to go through. You just have to let it pass and your son will grow out of it. Mine did. They say that night lights and things like that can make them worse, we took our son's out of his room and that helped. Also be aware of why he's crying. If he's tugging on his socks-take off his socks. It'll help him get through what ever may be scaring him. My Pediatrician said it's much worse for the parents to watch then it is for the child to actually go through, because you feel so helpless. Good Luck!!

R.

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J.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Night terrors can be so frightening to young children. Keep doing what you are doing by comforting him. The fright is very real to him. This is a phase and will pass. There is not a whole lot you can do to prevent the night terrors--besides the obvious of not letting him see scary stuff on TV. It is a normal stage of development. If he starts waking up and calling for no reason, then that is a seperate issue that can be curbed. It is our job as mom and dad to provide security and comfort when the little ones need it. Do it with love!
Here is a link to learn a little more about night terrors and nightmares. Good luck and sleep tight!
https://health.live.com/article.aspx?id=articles%2fmc%2fp...

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T.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I would ask him, what is scaring him. Let him tell you and don't diminish what he tells you. Many children coming into this world are very ocnnected spiritually and they are still connected to other worlds.

I have read some of the other responses you have heard. And I have to say I disagree. Children need to know that they can count on you. They need to know that if they need you, you will be there for them, no matter how long it takes.

Yes that involves some sacrifice on our parts.

I beleive in letting them sleep with you. It develops a sense of feeling safe and secure. This may be all he needs. My children slept with us from day one. And people tell me today that my boys are strong and secure in who they are. IS that because they were always nurtured and comforted when they needed it? I dont know. But I do know we all slept better and the crying in the meddle of the night never went past his awarenss that he was with us and safe.

Good luck. Do what you feel in your gut is right. Not what books tell you. It is called intuitive parenting.

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S.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.,

I would suggest reading the book, The No Cry Sleep Solution. It offers a lot of options for helping your child sleep better. I found it very helpful and an easy read!

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F.T.

answers from Phoenix on

Unfortunately, not much can be done. My younger brother had this problem and my mother tried everything. (He's ten now.) She just had to wait it out.
Some nights were better than others though. She got a night light and started to read to him before bed so he would have "happy" images in his mind when he fell asleep.
Hope this helps.

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L.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A., Perhaps your son is having growing pains. My two an a half year old wakes up in the middle of the night too. I have been taking toddler vapor rub and rubbing his extremities with it. Especially his legs. Try this it won't hurt him and if anything you may get good results just by massaging him a little and making him comfortable.

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S.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Both my boys had the same issue. It is so rough being a mom! Perhaps the hardest part is the lack of sleep-- 'cause I'm pretty sure that sleep interrupted doesn't really count as real sleep. My advice... Music. It has been an amazingly powerful source of comfort for my kids. I leave the cd playing all night long(I'm Christian, so it is gospel music). I'm a big believer in the power of music for good and for bad! It really effects mood. I also found it helpful to eliminate their exposure to scary images. It is hard to expect kids to sleep calm and peaceful after watching vivid images of destruction and horror. Heak, I'm an adult and I still have a hard time with it. Protect that sweet little spirit of your little Tanner. Help him feel 100% safe and secure physically and emotionally. It helped us.

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M.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi A.,
My youngest son suffered from night terrors too! He was one and a half when they began. They are heartbreaking to watch but unless he's hurting himself or others during the night terror that's really all you can do is watch, hold & love him through it. The one nice thing about night terrors is they usually don't remember them in the morning! All the information I read about night terrors said children typically outgrow it and he did just that! By age 3 his night terrors had stopped! Hang in there, hopefully Tanner's are almost over!

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C.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I have the same thing going on with my daughter who is 2.5 years old also. Lately I have been putting music on in her room and a night light so she does not wake up all crazy. I sorta give her few min to see if she goes back down and she has a few times i have had to lay there with her and tell her things are ok. I also talked to the doctor about it and they just told me to make sure she is not haveing any sugar a few hours before bed and that the stage will soon pass. My heart goes out to you. I get really sad when she does this also.

C.
____@____.com

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R.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

My son did the same thing. For curtin calls or middle of the night calls, we decided to use an egg timer. We go to him, set the timer for a few minutes, comfort him, and then once it goes off we leave the room. We leave even if he is still fussing a little bit etc. (obviously if something is truly wrong, we stay, comfort longer). The first few nights our son protested a bit, but quickly learned that once the timer goes off we leave. It works great now! We can still comfort him when he needs us, but we don't have to spend half of the night doing it, neither do we have to stay until he falls asleep.

Best of luck!

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G.N.

answers from Phoenix on

hey there!! so sad to hear about this and it is scary too. usually a night light will help as well as leaving the door open a little bit so they know they can come out. good luck

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A.S.

answers from Phoenix on

It sounds to me like you're doing great. We went through it with our daughter last year and people told us to do exactly what you're doing. They told us never to wake her up but just to comfort her and rub her back until she calmed and went back to sleep. It will eventually pass. I think it lasted a couple of months for us and then stopped.

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