Crying in the Morning at Daycare

Say your goodbyes in the car. Scale back the 10-15 minutes in the school to about 30 seconds. Walk her in, give her a quick kiss, say I love you, and leave. Don't look back. Cry in the car if you need to where she can't see you. You are dragging out the goodbye and making it worse. She's playing you a little---its her job to make you feel guilty and toddlers are very skilled at it. Sticking around that long is actually worse for her, because it makes her think she may be able to persuade you to stay. I say do your goodbyes in the car, because I have had parents drop their kids off and the kid is fine and goes to play. Then the parent stands up to leave and calls the child back to say goodbye and get a kiss. This totally disrupts the kid's focus and brings that back to the feeling that mom is leaving and this is the point they get upset and start begging mom to stay. Do yourself and her a favor and make it short and sweet. She's fine once you leave and will be happy to see you when you return. I know its hard, but this is all completely normal and can usually be solved with a quick drop-off. You don't want her to start every morning off like this.

Definitely shorten the goodbye! And keep it the same each time. Many kids cry, and the longer you stay the worse they get. She will be fine! Drop her off (in a cheery voice) tell her to have a good day, then leave. Daycare workers are skilled in getting her interested in something right away. Think of it like ripping a band-aid off!

I did hear a great idea from another mom. She had a bracelet that she wore, and part of the "goodbye ritual" was the mom took off the bracelet and put it on her daughter's wrist. The idea was when she returned, the daughter put the bracelet back on the mom's wrist. It's kind of like a promise to return, and a little security thing that she can have all day long. Perhaps you could start something like that?

I totally agree - the drop off needs to be a matter of minutes, not 10-15! Ask any day care worker; the longer you stay there and drag it out, the harder it becomes for the child. Make your good-bye short and sweet, with a hug and a kiss and a promise to return to hear all about her wonderful day. If you need peace of mind, call the center 5-10 minutes after you leave and I can guarantee you that she will be playing happily with no tears.

I've always been told to keep the goodbyes shorter. The longer you linger the more clingy they get!

My daughter is almost 4 and is in a preschool room, but I had the same trouble with her being upset when I left. She loves her class & her teachers, but she didn't like seeing me go in the morning. Then one of her teachers said it was ok for her to bring a stuffed animal with her to keep for naptime. What a difference that made!! Every morning she picks out a stuffed animal at home to take with her. She may hold it for a bit when she first gets to class, then she keeps it in her cubby until naptime. Then it goes back in the cubby until I pick her up. I guess it's like a security blanket!

I would try asking your teachers if this would be ok for your daughter to do. Make sure you put her name on the tag!

It is very common for separation anxiety to re-emerge during the 2's. And as the PP suggests, keep the good-bye brief. Prolonging it may be teaching your daughter that the louder she cries, the longer you will stay. I know it is very tough leaving your child while she is crying, but you may need to try this and give your daughter some time to learn that everything will be okay when you leave.

At home when you and she are having some quiet time together, start talking about "Mommy always comes back!" after she is dropped off at day care. During drop-off, express your love for her and tell her to remember "Mommy always comes back!" Then when you pick her up, tell her, "See! Mommy always comes back!!"